| Phony stuff |
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~"suicide hotline... please hold" ~"Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape." ~"Hi. This is John: (or watever ur name is) If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money." (if ur a guy) ~"Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you." ~"Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up." ~"Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks." ~"Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system" |
~"This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test." ~"Speak, worm!" (beep) Works best if done in a Darth Vader voice." ~"You've called our number, but we don't care. If we did, we'd be here. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll call u back, when your not home." ~"Hi, This is Jenny. Press 1 if you are going to ask me out, 2 if you want to apologize for something, 3 if you just called to say I am a princess, and 4 if you are going to say something else.(Will be automatically deleted!) Thanks" ~"Can't take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message?"(Do in a crazy voice). ~"Hello, you have reached the _______'s residence; we cannot reach the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. (Then you find something that makes a beeping sound, and make the beep sound, then wait 5 seconds, until they start talking, then make another beep, and do that over and over.)" ~"Hi, I'm not here right now. The reason that I'm gone is because I'm trying to get away from you!" |
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| Phony...that is, funny stuff to put on your answering machine! |