Massay
Reb Shlomo Minyan HarNof
(R. Raphael, email: [email protected])

"These are the journeys of Benei Yisrael when they went out from Mitzriyim�" (Bemidbar 33:1)

But why retell the past; there is so much there that is negative? Maybe we should just bury it in the ground and be done with it. The Sefat Emet says that it is the greatness of Moshe that he recalled to the nation what had happened to it. He went back over the stages of the wilderness in order to understand how Hashem was present all the time guiding the Benie Yisrael from level to level.

In fact, remembering is the essence of fixing. Finding the point of Hashem that exists in every experience. For one must look at everything as coming from Hashem. When a person is able to connect all of his experiences with this perception then he achieves a great tikkun. And if he is not at a point where he can do this it is important that he at least contact within himself the desire to find Hashem in remembering his experiences. This will help him begin to look at the wealth of his experience as precious.

Every one of us needs to be a traveler collecting ourselves before moving on remembering the story of our journey. In the end we will see a series of steps that were surmounted in going from one journeying to the next. As the Baal Shem Tov says, when we are going it looks like darkness and obstacles but when we look back at the end we will see that it was all light.

Thus we find that Yaacov Avinu recounted all that happened during his twenty years with Lavan. And he connected even the first steps of his travels to the highest understanding that he reached at the end. From this he was able to come to true surrender, "hachnaah," the full realization of the providence of Hashem that is at work in the life of each and every one of us.

Remembering everything that occurred to us has to do with affirming that we are all unique and precious to Hashem. When we connect with our heart then the words that we use in remembering are inspired words connected to us in a real way raising up the categories of thought that we have received along the way. When we collect our experieces in holiness then we begin to build ourselves. We begin to transform Eretz Canaan taking it out of the hands of Benei Cham (the fire of desire) and bring it towards surrender "hachnaah" which was always there in potential. And then with Hashem's help we will reach our destination which is coming to Eretz Israel, the land that was Eretz Canaan, transformed through seeing ourselves in holiness.

The Baal Hatanyah gives a way to get in touch with Hashem through the Torah which we could apply to His guiding providence in our lives. He says that when a person goes to see a king, the ruler is dressed in the royal garments. Indeed, his exalted position means that he will be wearing layer upon layer of beautiful rainments to adorn himself and communicate his position to the people. If we would be able to embrace this king enwraped in his mantle we would not fell distanced because of the layers of clothes between us. We would simply be overwhelmed by the presence of king. In a similar way we should realize that Hashem directs the events of our lives and that the stuff of experiences are like garments through which He makes Himself present.

We can relate this to a question that is asked in Gemorrah Shabbat. We learn the prohibition of destroying a structure on Shabbat in order to build from the Benai Israel in the midbar. They would dismantle the mishkan and move where the pillar moved and rebuild the mishkan in this place. Now the halacha is that the prohibition of destroying only applies when one destroys in the same place as one intends to build. But if the source of this is the construction of the mishkan in the wilderness we see it was not erected in the same spot as it was dismantled. How can we then learn such a prohibition. The answer is that since the mishkan was constructed at Hashem's instruction and this above all other conditions empitomizes the concept of staying in the same place. This then is what all the events of the midbar had in common. Like the events of our lives they are all connected to Hashem's will to bring us closer to Him.

It may be that at a particular time harsh things happened to us. And it may only be much later that we are able to see the good in the situation. That is why it is so important to remember with the desire to find Hashem in all the moments of our lives in order that we can reclaim all of the moments that Hashem was with us.

The midbar represents the place of change. The Midrash says that in the future the barren places will be fruitful and the places of settlement will be abandoned. That now when a caravan wants to passes through the desert it can only travel at night but in the future the way will be well established. The old concepts fall away and we climb the ladder of understanding. We leave the old ways of understanding behind till the our connection to Hashem is strong.