POSTED 12-30-99

Hello and Happy New Year!

Well, dear readers, the time draws near for the new millennium. A truly great point in our lives. E-mail viruses, web site hackers, terrorists, and the whole Y2K mess, hey what more could you want to start off the new century? Well I certainly plan on enjoying myself. I remember once when I was about 12 and I was looking into the mirror trying to figure out what I would look like at age 16, 21 and at the turn of the
century. It seemed like it was so far away it was almost impossible to comprehend. Well, since then time has flown and unfortunately, I pretty much still look the same. So I guess I can take the view that even though time passes we still basically remain ourselves no matter what happens. This is comforting to me for some reason.

Of course I would have my head buried in the sand if I thought that on Jan 1st at 12:00am I won't be unaffected, I'm sure I will be. I just don't think that I should spend half of my year's wages on parties or prepare for Jesus to come visit us in a UFO and take us all to heaven. What I do hope for, though, is that I have a good time. It doesn't have to be spectacular or life changing, just enjoyable. I do think that it would suck pretty bad if I walked away from this whole experience and all I could say was that I was bored or had a lousy evening. I can hear my future children asking me now: "Mom, what did you do at the turn of the century." And me answering, "Well I was sitting on a barstool in some dive bar somewhere watching the ball drop while munching peanuts
and drinking warm beer." For some reason that just doesn't appeal to me at all. So I am making a little effort, there's a nice dinner out planned and a big party to go to afterwards with many good friends to share it with. And I can be satisfied with that.

POSTED 02-02-00

Valentines Day Massacre

Well, now comes the time for the holiday that everyone dreads. Our wonderful celebration of love. Now don�t get me wrong, everyone at some time looks forwards to Valentines day, it�s just that if things aren�t going perfectly in your perfect life (and I�m not pointing fingers if you won�t) things can just be a little less than rosy. Advertisers and retailers grab on to this little holiday with the same zest and zeal that they show during the Christmas season. Everywhere you turn hearts, jewelry and candy dance just as those sugar plums to in December. Buy, buy, buy they say. And here is something else that�s interesting, it�s the only holiday that tries to push innocent unsuspecting individuals towards those holy halls of matrimony with the weapon of guilt.

Here is how it might sound:
�Hi, did you know that Valentines Day is two days away? Have you bought anything for that one that you love with all of your being yet? You have? Oh, you got them a card did you. You obviously don�t care that much then. You got them candy too? Nope, still not convinced. Oh? You do care? You love them a lot you say? Well, then you need our help. Buy our new large very expensive diamond engagement ring, priced only at (fill in with the total year�s wage) and show them that you really love them�

Now I know that I�m just exaggerating, but the next time you hear a jewelers ad, and they will be coming with great force in the next two weeks, listen closely and you will see what I�m talking about.

Another things that is pushed very hard is roses. Every woman loves roses. The only thing is they treat roses just like they do gas during spring break, the price hikes up to the sky like a balloon filled with helium. It always amazes me how a dozen roses can be $9.99 January 14th, but come February they�re now $49.99 to $100.00. It�s not like they didn�t know that Valentines day wasn�t coming. Now I�m of a practical mind, I like flowers and all, but come on, for fifty dollars I could fly to Vegas for a week. I just find it ironic that for the price of twelve flowers that will wilt and die in less than a week I can get on a plane and fly hundreds of miles. It just doesn�t make sense.

I�m not bitter or anything about the whole thing, I�ve always enjoyed Valentines day. It�s just that I would honestly just like to get a really good card, something that�s sweet and heartfelt. It�s not going to die and I won�t have to worry that it�s just a hypnotic response to a devious well worded advertisement.

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