Skills of the Immortal Author's note an disclaimer. 1) I don't own any of these people, ideas, or situations. 2) This is intended to be a one shot stand alone kind of thing. An idea not an epic. If, and I repeat IF, I ever choose to write a sequel, it too will be a one shot sort of thing too. Based from "Fistful of Omake" by metroanime. ........ "What if someone *else* had fulfilled Genma's role," mused Toltiir. "With Ares, we saw a capable martial artist who frankly didn't take much crap off anyone," reminded Bast. "Unfortunately, or fortunately if you prefer, he had little in the way of traditional Western morality." "Yeah, none of this 'don't hit girls' or 'let other people push me around' sort of thing." Ares felt that he'd done a pretty darn good job there. And it had been strangely fulfilling to take on the role of father-sensei. Much better than he'd done with his two real sons. "I disagree, Genma did a much better job of raising Ranma," argued Fleece. "Look at that Ranma! Anybody who jumps him shouting 'Ranma, prepare to die' is gonna get killed! Heck, if the Nabiki in *that* world tried half the stuff I did with *my* version of Ranma, she'd be lucky if she didn't end up in the hospital!" Ares considered the idea briefly. "Nah. More likely he'd just contact the local Yakuza and tell them that this little girl was poaching on their territory. Once he did that..." Fleece flinched at the likely consequences of *that* sort of thing. "You see what I mean? THAT Ranma is going to have even more social problems than the original." "So. You're saying you could do a better job?" Bast purred as she regarded the Nabiki Tendo that had dared to cross path with the gods, and had ended up becoming a minor goddess herself due to the whims of Toltiir. There were times when Fleece was in serious danger of being demoted as per Titania's suggestion - to tooth fairy. Nabiki *almost* said "Yeah, right." The grins around her were enough clue. "NO! NO WAY! I am *NOT* going to play the part of Genma Saotome!" "Spoilsport," said Ares. "Put your money where your mouth is." "Well, who do *you* think would do a better job of being Genma?" Toltiir blinked at the girl, yellow eyes gleaming. "Keeping in mind the following points typical of Ranma timelines: a) Ranma must be a highly ranked martial artist, it may not be his only focus, but it's got to be in there. b) His orbit must intersect the Tendos. He may not end up engaged to any of 'em. Maybe neither group knows about the arrangement, but they'll at least meet. The test point is Ranma meeting them, and how different it is from the original. c) The person who does the raising has to spend at least ten years subjective in the simulation." "This ain't another Bet, is it, Toltiir?" Bast glared at the cat. "Heaven forbid, no. Just a possibility of related omake." The cat waved a paw. "Well, in that case," suggested Nabiki with her own catty expression. ......... It was a great day out, Soun Tendo decided. The air is clear, the sky is bright, all of his daughters are in perfect condition. Nothing could possibly make it better. Considering how much water Soun could produce when he chose to, it's not to terribly surprising that he would consider what anyone else would say a downpour as 'clear and bright'. Humming softly to himself he opened the door to the dojo and headed out to check on the evening mail. "Let's see, eh," he said to himself. "Bills, bills, summons, porn (here he looked around carefully before tucking the magazine carefully into his gi before continuing), post card from old training buddy pertaining to a matter of family honor, more bills, more porn..." Soun trailed off slowly. He flipped backwards through the pile before stopping at one. Holding up the panda stamped postcard, Soun quickly began to imitate the weather. "Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!" *** "I hope he's not young," Kasumi fretted again, nervously playing with the fringe on her apron. "Younger men are so..." she trailed off for a second, trying to think of a proper adjective before settling on, "...young." "Yes, daddy," Nabiki agreed dryly. "What's he like?" Akane glowered. "Hehehe," Soun chuckled at his daughters antics. At that precise moment in time he was more concerned about getting back to his room so that he could hide the porn in his gi that was currently pocking him in the side, so he answered honestly. "I don't know. I've never met him. But he just got back from a training trip in China," he added when his daughters exchanged one of those looks. You know what I mean. THOSE looks. "Ooh! China!" Nabiki exclaimed. Secretly she was wondering when her father would hide his porn, so that she could sneak in for a peak. There's nothing wrong with being bi-sexual, damn it! "Hmm," Kasumi agreed verbally, while internally wondering when was the last time she had cleaned her fathers secret porn stash. It must be getting very dusty by now. "All boys are perverts!" Akane proclaimed. Secretly she was wondering...Well she wasn't really wondering anything. Akane isn't noticed for being the most intellectually inclined. A commotion at the door grabbed the attention of all within. "That must be them!" Nabiki shouted excitedly. She rushed off for the door. "Genma, my old friend!" Soun proclaimed, rushing off for the door as well. Akane and Kasumi sat patiently, Akane glowering while Kasumi rearranged her apron some more. After a moment dual shouts of "You're Ranma!?" and "Genma, where are you!?" greeted their ears. Kasumi was suddenly struck with an impending sense of doom. Akane glowered some more. **** "Oh my," Kasumi sighed. "He is young." The boy in front of her glared. "It ain't da nicest of things to go 'round pointed out others shortcoming." "Are you from Osaka?" Nabiki asked after listening to the boy talk for a bit. The young child shook his head. "Nah. Why ya ask?" "No reason," Nabiki answered. Inside, she was depressed. I got all dressed up for THIS? THIS is a little boy of about seven or eight years of age. He stands shorter than Akane by at least a foot and a half. He has black hair that starts in a mohawk down the front and ends in a little pigtail at the bottom. His clothes are...inventive. A loose long-sleeve black and white shirt under a big and loose black and white t-shirt. On the back of the shirt is a Swastika. He's wearing torn up pants, loose ones. Akane summed up everyone else's thoughts accurately enough. "He's a punk." The boy gave her a glare. "Watch it, toots. I'm more 'an enough ta handle da likes of ya." Akane's natural belligerence, which had taken second place to her shock, reaffirmed its superiority. "Oh yeah! Ya, I mean you, want to spar!?" The boy only snorted. "I already told ya. I'm more an enough ta handle da likes of ya." The boy turned his back on a fuming Akane, and turned to a now thoroughly confused Soun. "Ya da Misser Tendo dude?" "Um..." Soun sputtered a second before answering. "Yes?" "Dat's good. I'm Ranma. Guess it's Ranma Saotome now, huh? Anyway, here I am." The boy nodded his head at the rest of the girls. They gave back confused greetings. Except for Akane. She glowered. "Th-th-that's impossible!" Soun declared. "Genma sent back word that you had been born around the same time as Akane. You can't be Ranma!" "Da glowin' one over there Akane?" Ranma asked with a nod in Akane's direction. "She 'bout sixteen?" Soun answered with a nod. "Well then. I'm ya Ranma. I'm sixteen, too." There was a universal blink-blink. "You're sixteen?" Nabiki voiced everyone in the room's thoughts. "Ya better sit down. I might as well, tell ya all everything," Ranma said with a sigh. *** "Ya know 'bout ol' Genma taking me on that big long training trip, right?" Soun nodded wordlessly. "Well, everything started out pretty simple. Just regular trainin' and shit." Kasumi made a disapproving frown. Such language at such a young age! "Couple a months into it, ol' Genma heard 'bout some super secret magical stuff that was supposed to make you immortal and stuff. Heard 'bout it in a bar from some other drunk with one eye. So ol' Genma says to himself, 'I better get a hold of some of that shit and use it on meself.' So we spend the next couple of months searching for some old chick. Yaobokuni, or somethin' I think her name was. Finally, me ol' man Genma finds her. But there's a problem." Your grammars the problem, Nabiki thought to herself. It's virtually unintelligible. "Turns out the immortal stuff kind a cursed ya when ya take it. Ol' Genma now. He's not too keen on taking a curse. But he figures, might as well test if out. If ya immortal, then ya can live with da curse. Live a long time na matter wha." Ranma took a second to loudly slurp down some tea. Everyone at the table winced. Except Akane. She glowered. "So he shoves the shit down my throat, and gives me a curse." "A curse?" Nabiki drolled out. She didn't believe a word of this. Just some loud mouthed punk getting ready to try and mooch some cash off of them, no doubt. "Yea. He says, 'Ya cannot die till ya become da best martial artist in da world!' or somethin' stupid like dat. Now, here's where ol' Genma decides to test da curse." "Test the curse?" Kasumi asked, tilting her head to the side in curiosity. "Yea. Had ta check an' see if I was really immortal. So he throws me off a cliff." Everyone in the rooms jaw drops. "Now da old broad, Yaobokuni-whatsit, sees this and says ta herself, 'ain't no way I'm gonna let some fat-ass like this get my blood-worms', and takes off. Ol' Genma doesn't notice cause he's looking down the cliff to see how I did on me landin. When he sees me gettin' up, and finds the old chick gone, he says to himself, 'da only way I'm gonna get them worms is to take em' out of ol' Ranma. So down he starts a'comin', sharpening his knife all da way." All the girls, despite the fact that they're pretty convinced that the kid is lying, winced at the thought. Soun sweat dropped a bit. Maybe this kid really did know Genma. Sounds like something his old friend would have tried. "What happened next?" Nabiki asked dryly. "Lucky for me, the guy from da bar, da drunk guy with one eye, was kinda followin' ol' Genma. He saw da whole thing. The one eye guy, ya see, the reason he knows 'bout the magic items is cause he has 'em too. He picks me up, and takes me off. When he finds out what my curse is, he figures, 'what da hell. I got a couple a' hundred years on me. I'll show da kid da ropes.' So he lets me tag 'long for about decade or so, showin' me all sorts a shit 'bout fighting. Great guy." "What was this immortal great guys name?" Nabiki asked. Ranma grinned. "Manji." He continued. "So everything is great for da ten years or so, and we even go inta China for a bit. Meet some a Manji's old friends and shit. But ya see, while we're there, ol' Genma shows up and tries to get a hold of me. Da two a 'em zip off and never come back. Beats me wha happened. After a day or two a waitin' I figure Manji's got some years, and don't need me to baby sit 'im, so I loot ol' Genma's shit, and find ya address. I figure, ya must be old friends, or somethin, so maybe ya might now where me mother is. Haven't seen her in a while, hell, never that I can remember. So I figure again, and stop by." "...I see..." Soun answered. "You see. All boys are perverts, and liars!" Akane declared through her glower. "Oh my," Kasumi agreed. If he really was telling the truth, then she could feel so sorry for the little boy. Never having seen his mother! But before anything else, Kasumi was going to have to work on the child manners. "Do you honestly expect us to fall for that kind of scam?" Nabiki asked, sounding amused. "And I suppose all you'll need from us is a little money to help in your search?" The boy looked at the family and grinned. "I figured that ya all would think somethin' like that. There's only one real way to prove it ta ya. Hold on a secon'." The family looked on patiently as the boy rolled up the sleeve on his left arm. They looked on in shock as he thrust his right hand out quickly, and a crooked sai shot out of his sleeve and into his hand. The watched nauseously as the boy took the sai, and with one quick motion severed his own left hand. Soun looked on in horror, Nabiki in disgust, Kasumi in worry (both for the boy, and for her carpets. Blood stains are so hard to get out!) and Akane glowered. "What do you think you're...!?" Nabiki started to screech and then stopped. The boy had brought the hand back up to his stump, and suddenly there was a flurry of movement. The family watched in disgust as little white worms started to burrow out of the skin and flesh of both parts and latch onto each other. A second later, it had stopped, and the boy wiped a smear of blood away from the new pale scar. "Dat, enough for ya?" he smirked. "Or do you want me to do somethin' a little more gruesome, eh?" "Now now, son," Soun said, on autopilot. All he wanted to do was read his porn! Was that too much to ask!? "You're situation isn't that bad. This is my daughter Akane. She's sixteen. This is Nabiki. She's seventeen. And This is Kasumi. She's nineteen. Pick one of them and she will be your wife." Everyone in the room blink blinks twice. Even Soun, who is trying to figure out why under the sun he had just said that. "'scuse me?" Ranma asks. Another author's note: The thing about the swastika I mention. The swastika itself is a very old and deeply significant symbol. It was the Nazi's that perverted it into the symbol for hate that it is today. Their is not anti-jewish stuff in this work, or in the series I'm crossing Ranma with (Blade of the Immortal)