Love's Rebirth By Bob Lobster ranikkoku@hotmail.com Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters henceforth. I'm just borrowing them for a while. I promise to return them in more or less the same condition. Song: Pain Is So Close To Pleasure Artist: Queen Release Date: 1986 Oooh oooh pain is so close to pleasure oh yeah Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all your life Oooh oooh pain is so close to pleasure everybody knows One day we love each other then we're fighting one another all the time When I was young and just getting started And people talked to me they sounded broken hearted Then I grew up and got my imagination And all I wanted was to start a new relation So in love but love had a bad reaction I was looking for some good old satisfaction But pain is all I got when all I needed was some love and affection Oooh oooh pain is so close to pleasure yeah yeah Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all your life Pain and pleasure Oooh oooh pain and pleasure When your plans go wrong and you turn out the light But inside of your mind you have to put up a fight Where are the answers that we're all searching for There's nothing in this world to be sure of anymore Some days you're feeling good some days you're feeling bad But if you're feeling happy someone else is always sad Let the sweetness of love wipe the tears from your face For better for worse so let's make the best of the rest of our years Oooh oooh pain is so close to pleasure I told you so Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all your life Pain and pleasure Oooh oooh pain is so close to pleasure yeah yeah Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all your life All your life Pain - pleasure .... AN: I like this song, so I'm gonna leave it as the theme, even though it still has little to do with the story.^_^ Chapter 2: Not Quite Hell..... Journal Entry #967 Sometimes I really don't know what to do. They all look to me when things get bad, thinking that I will always find the reason, or the solution for whatever has gone wrong. Even Usagi, who's supposed to be our leader, tends to turn to me whenever something troubling comes up. I usually give them good reason to turn to me, too. I am answer girl, afterall. Right now, however, I find even myself at a loss. It's not hard to believe that no one is coming to me for answers this time. We all know the cause of our current troubles, afterall, and it's not something that even I can come up with a solution to. Heh, I'm starting to sound rather egotistical now, aren't I? I suppose that's to be expected. I have people telling me everyday how smart I am, how I can fix any problem, solve any issue, find a way to end any trouble. It's hard not to become a little full of myself. These last two weeks have been humbling, however, shattering just about any notions I had built up about my limitless abilities. It's hard to believe yourself limitless, when you find your limit. As good as I am though, and humbled as I am, I still know I'm one of the best, even I can't find the solution to death. How do you remedy the final farewell, afterall? Our first real, lasting death in our entire career as Senshi and it has to be someone so pivotal to the future. Without Tuxedo Mask there is no Prince Endymion. Without Prince Endymion, there is no future King of Crystal Tokyo; no Chibi-Usa; is there even a Crystal Tokyo at all? The only person I know of who could possibly answer that question is Setsuna and she's in no fit state to deal with questions about the future right now. Her grief seems almost as thick as Usagi's and I'm forced to wonder something. Is her pain for the loss of her dreams, the work of the Kami's only know how many lifetimes, or was she closer to Mamoru than we believed. Not that I think Mamoru would ever be unfaithful to Usagi, he loved her far too much, but Setsuna's reaction was far closer to that of someone who had lost a lover than a friend. I wonder just how deep her feelings for Mamoru went. I would ask her roommates, as the Outers know her better than any of us, but Haruka and Michiru have hardly been their normal selves. Surprisingly, this seems to have very little to do with Mamoru's passing, though it obviously affected them as it did us, so much as some personal problem that the two of them are having. I've only seen Haruka twice since the funeral and both times she has been distant and moody. More so than usual, anyway. She seems a lot more ready to snap at someone over the slightest of things, something that in part explains how strained Michiru has looked recently. I don't wonder that the two of them have probably clashed more than once in the past week or so due to this attitude. Though, the worry in Michiru is easily visible when she looks towards her lover, so any fighting they are doing can't be overly bad. Still it makes me sympathize with poor Hotaru somewhat, knowing that out of the three adults taking care of her, Setsuna is stuck in her depression, Haruka is upset over something which is causing friction and Michiru seems to be stressing out trying to deal with it all. The whole situation has to be hard on Hotaru, but she's a strong kid, she's been through a great deal in her life and I think she'll be fine now as well. I'm going to have to try and talk to her soon though and make sure she is alright, let her know that she can talk to me if she needs to. Usagi, at least, seems to be dealing with Mamoru's death fairly well, all things considered. She's about as heart broken as one can get, of course, losing your soulmate does that to a person, but I don't believe that she's in any danger of succumbing to it as I initially thought she may. Despite our initial misgivings, it seems that telling her father the truth was a major blessing for her. His support has done more for her than any of us possibly could and I have to admit that I, as well as the other Senshi, am extremely grateful to him for everything he has done since her loss. Of the other Senshi, Rei is taking Mamoru's loss the worst. Aside from Usagi, Rei was probably the closest to him, having dated him for a time. Though I get the feeling as I watch her, especially around Usagi, that while she is broken up over Mamoru's death, the main reason she has been upset is from worrying over Usagi. As odd as it is, with the two of them always fighting, I know that none of us come near Rei's protectiveness of our Princess. Though I don't believe she would admit it under threat of torture, Rei cares about Usagi more than just about anyone else in her life. She's been very supportive of Usagi during this time as well, spending as much time with the distraught girl as she can, almost at times seeming to have moved in to the Tsukino home. I dearly hope that her efforts pay off in helping Usagi deal with what could be the hardest moments in her life. The only good news of the past week is that it seems as if the mystery man Minako is taking care of is mending quite rapidly. She expects him to be fully recovered shortly and has promised to introduce him to us once he is. She seems very taken with him, though this isn't exactly surprising with Minako, and talks about him all the time. She's gotten very little information about his past, he doesn't seem to like talking about it, which isn't surprising if his father recently died, but she has been able to get bits from him. It seems he has been training to be a martial artist all his life. The only family he has ever known is his father, as the two of them have spent much of his life on the road together. It makes me wonder how he's taking his father's death. Losing such a pivotal part of your life can do terrible things to a person's psyche and I hope that the young man is able to come out of it all right. With Minako there, I don't doubt he's getting treated with just the type of care he needs right now, something that Makoto has made a good deal of effort to point out to her, in the crudest method possible. Personally, I think she's merely jealous that Minako has what she labels as a "God-like Hunk" living in her room, but Makoto will never admit to that and simply continues to make fun of her about it. At least it's good to know that something good has happened recently if this boy makes Minako happy. I just hope it can stay that way. Ami Mizuno ********************************************************************* Haruka was sitting in the living room of the house she lived in with the other Outers, staring blankly out the window at the small garden in the backyard. The garden was Setsuna's domain, her main hobby when she wasn't guarding the gates and she took great pride in it. As she should, it was a magnificent garden. Due to the extensive amount of time she spent in the gates, however, she was forced to teach her housemates, though mostly Michiru, how to take care of it for her. That was where Michiru was now, actually, out in the garden, taking care of Setsuna's plants. Not that Setsuna was at the gates, though, but she was hardly in a state to deal with things like that, no matter how much peace it normally brought to her. Not for the first time, Haruka was forced to wonder about Setsuna's feelings for the deceased prince. She knew, as did Michiru, that Setsuna cared about Mamoru, but she hadn't realized that her feelings went this far and she hoped her friend would be able to pull through. Not that she thought Setsuna wasn't strong enough to deal with the death of a loved one, she had lived through the fall of the Silver Millennium afterall, Haruka just hoped that it wouldn't cause her to fall deeper into her self-imposed emotional exile. They had been getting through to her. It was slow going to be sure, trying to get through millennia of loneliness, but they had been making progress and living in a family environment was helping Setsuna bring her emotions to the forefront more often. This would definitely set things back, Haruka just hoped it wouldn't set them back too far. She was having enough trouble dealing with a distraught Usagi, she didn't think she could deal with helping Setsuna as well. Oh yes, Usagi was coming by quite often. Not that Haruka really minded, she would do anything to help the depressed princess, but talking to Usagi usually brought her memories of Ranma back to the forefront of her mind, something that caused her no end to depression. On some level Haruka knew that all this talking was probably doing more to help her get over Ranma's loss than anything she had done in the past three years, but she didn't think about that much. Right now she wanted nothing more than to forget about her feelings for a while, at least until she managed to talk to Minako again. That was something that truly bothered her: in all the time she had known Minako, the girl had always been fairly easy to find, now that she really needed to talk to her, however, she hadn't seen hide nor hair of her since the funeral. She knew, of course, that she could always just walk up to Minako's door and knock, solving her problem quite quickly, but for the life of her, she couldn't manage to think of a single good reason (that she could tell Minako, anyway). It's hard to walk up to your friend's house, knock and ask in a polite voice if she is taking care of your old boyfriend who you thought was dead. Somehow that just didn't seem to work in her mind, so she kept her distance and kept trying to run into Minako in other places. It wasn't working. Hence her current level of distraction and frustration. She knew that she was distracted, knew that she was ignoring Michiru a lot of the time and snapping at her when she did talk to her. It was something she hated doing, but she couldn't help it right now, her nerves were frayed and it made her extra-sensitive to anything said to her. In fact, the only person she wasn't snapping at was Usagi, for obvious reasons, and Setsuna who she had barely spoken to in the past two weeks. She knew she was doing the former right now, ignoring her lover as she put on a show, trying to get Haruka's attention. Haruka wasn't totally blind right now, she knew that Michiru was only wearing such a tiny pair of shorts and such a tight, low cut shirt in an effort to get a reaction out of her. Part of her even took the time to admire her lover's form, for it was quite beautiful, but she just couldn't bring herself to the usual level of lust that she would feel at the sight of Michiru, dressed as she was, bent over in front of her. It was a sight that normally caused her no end to dirty thoughts, quickly getting her into the mood for just about anything Michiru had in mind, but today such thoughts wouldn't seem to come. Today, she actually found herself slightly irritated at Michiru for trying something like that when it was obvious she wanted to be left alone. Her rational mind knew, of course, that Michiru was just worried about her and hoped this would open her up more, but the part of her that usually only came out on the anniversary of Ranma's death was in a good deal more control and it had her convinced that the last thing she needed was to be comforted by someone who couldn't possibly understand. Thinking of people who understood reminded her that Usagi would be over soon. The girl was getting almost as regular as clockwork, coming there directly after dinner every night. Thinking of the girl brightened Haruka's mood a bit for a change. It would be nice to talk to someone who understood. Getting up, she wandered away from the window, not noticing nor really caring about the look of pain that crossed Michiru's face as she stood up from the garden and watched her leave. ********************************************************************* Ranma glanced up as Minako walked into the room. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, having just woken up moments before, and was feeling lucky that he had fallen asleep in his clothes as he hadn't had a chance to change since waking. She smiled at him as she walked closer to the bed, stopping only two feet from its edge and he couldn't help but notice that she had a really beautiful smile. All in all, she was quite a beautiful young woman with her flawless skin and long blonde hair, one of the only Japanese people he had ever met with that hair colour. He smiled back at her before pushing himself to his feet. "Good afternoon, Ranma. Are you feeling any better today?" She asked, concern evident in her voice. It amazed Ranma at times that anyone could be that concerned about someone they barely knew, but she always seemed to show her concern when they spoke of his health. It was a trait she had apparently picked up from her father who Ranma found out to be one of the kindest men he had ever met. Whenever Minako wasn't taking care of him, her father seemed intent on keeping him as comfortable as possible. Ranma knew, of course, that part of the man's concern drew from the fact that he had saved his daughter's life, but it still touched him to know that he was in such a caring environment. It wasn't something he was used to with he and his father's way of life. He put on his best smile, ignoring the small tightness in his chest where it was still slightly injured, before answering her. "Feeling much better, actually. I seem to be just about fully healed." She smiled at him again, obviously relieved that he wasn't relapsing or anything, before she wandered over to her desk to put her bookbag away. "Did you just get back from school?" "Yup," She began, her shoulders slumping slightly. She turned back towards him, giving him a slightly strained smile before moving over to her closet to search out something to wear. "Thank God. I swear someone invented school just to torture people. I mean, could they make it any more boring?" Ranma laughed a little at her melodrama, knowing after staying with her for the past few days that she tended to slip into what he liked to call 'Actress Mode'. When she was like that, she tended to be overdramatic over every little thing but Ranma found it more amusing and endearing than annoying as he was sure some would see it as. It was hard to be annoyed at someone who had helped him so much. Besides, she was pretty cute in 'Actress Mode'. "Don't let the teachers hear you say that, or they might try." Minako groaned at his words, thinking about how her teachers would love to find new ways to bore her into a catatonic state. She turned back towards him briefly, giving him a slightly evil smirk before answering him. "You better hope they don't succeed, since you'll no doubt be joining me there soon." Now it was Ranma's turn to groan, knowing it was true. If there was one thing he disliked about his quick recovery it was how quickly he would be ready to attend school, something he loathed as much as Minako did. "For now, though, out. I've gotta get dressed. Daddy should have dinner ready shortly, so why don't you head down and after dinner we can talk about finding your mother, since you seem well enough now." Ranma quickly excused himself to allow Minako her privacy, a happy smile on his face at the prospect of finally finding his mother. He headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Seeing Minako's father there, he asked if there was anything he could do to help and was rewarded with the duty of setting the table, as dinner was already cooked. In the last two days since he had been well enough to move around more or less freely without tiring quickly he had tried to help out as much as he could. They had been very kind to him, afterall, and he wanted to repay them as much as he could. He helped with the cooking a fair amount since he was fairly good at it, cooking on the road for so long had taught him well, but since he had been sleeping Mr. Aino had decided to leave him be. By the time the table was set, Minako had arrived and her father was done with the meal. As they ate, Minako talked about her day at school and how all her friends were doing. Her father seemed concerned about one of them in particular, the one she had told Ranma about the other day, but he understood why. Though he had never met her, Ranma, too, found himself concerned about the young girl who had lost someone so important to her at such a young age. He knew how that felt all too well and truly hoped that she was dealing with it better than he had in those first few weeks. Minako quickly assured her father that she was doing a lot better than she had been, with both her family and friends being extremely supportive and even went so far as to praise one of her friends, Rei, for being there for her more than anyone could have expected. Apparently the girl, Usagi, and Rei fought a good deal and Minako had always thought that, while they liked each other they weren't nearly as close as the rest in their group. This had proven false as Rei proved to be the most supportive of her, showing that she cared for the girl more than Minako had thought. As dinner ended, Mr. Aino served up tea for the three of them and thoughts turned to the task of finding his mother. As it turned out, the address he'd been carrying had been the only copy he had. He still knew her name, Nodoka Saotome, and that she lived relatively close to where he had met Minako, but that was all the information he had. Minako's father was convinced it wouldn't be difficult to find her, though, so Ranma wasn't overly worried. Mr. Aino brought up the fact that Saotome wasn't the most common name, something that Ranma agreed with, having never met another, and said that he would merely go speak with one of the local police officers in the morning, hopefully gaining an address. It was probably something they should have done earlier, but they had decided to wait until Ranma was better healed before introducing him to his mother. This was something Ranma agreed with, wanting to be in top shape when he met her for the first time in ten years. With that matter decided to everyone's satisfaction, Minako brought up the next thing on her mind. Her friends, or more specifically, their desire to meet him. Though he didn't really know why they would be so insistent on it, Ranma was quick to agree to meet with the people he had heard a good deal about over the last few days. Since the next day was Sunday, Minako suggested that she have her friends over in the morning, while her father was at work. That way, Ranma could meet with her friends in the morning and then, when her father got home, he could meet his mother. This was agreed upon, though when she went to call her friends Minako decided that she had best set the time as late in the afternoon. It was quickly discovered that she and Ranma both shared their affinity for oversleeping and with tomorrow being the only day she could enjoy sleeping in, she had no intention of missing it. Once she was done speaking with her friends, Minako retired to her bedroom to work on her homework, while Ranma followed, intent on reading some more of the novel he was in the midst of. If you had asked him two weeks ago, Ranma would have told you that reading was for book worms and useless to him but with him out of commission as far as training went, he quickly found himself bored enough to delve into one of the many novels that Minako and her father had. He had ended up picking up an english one - thanking his father for that rare show of foresight that had made him insist Ranma learn to speak and read english, something that had come in very handy in their travels - and found himself thoroughly enjoying it. It had surprised him and Minako both that he had gone through the first book so quickly, in only four days, but he had so much free time that he could hardly find much else to do. Right now he was a short ways into the second book in the series and wondered how they would manage to save the poor little guys and whether or not the wizard was really dead for good. ********************************************************************* Usagi had to admit, she did feel better when she talked with Haruka. When the older woman had originally suggested coming to her if Usagi needed someone to talk to, she had doubted that it would help. Besides which, she had her Daddy to talk to, and Rei-chan had been really great. Haruka had one thing that both of them lacked, however, and that was understanding. That's not to say neither of them had seen someone die before or lost someone relatively close to them, but Haruka, like herself, had lost someone who was so significant to her that she still, after three years, mourned his death. Someone who she considered the other half of her soul, which was exactly how she pictured Mamoru. She hoped that Haruka wasn't bothered by her constantly coming back to talk with her, something that had become a daily ritual, especially since she could see how sad Haruka got when she spoke of her lost love, whom Usagi had recently learned was named Ranma. She didn't seem to mind Usagi coming by though, always welcoming her warmly, so she didn't dwell on the matter for too long. That fact was that this was something that Usagi truly needed and Haruka had made the offer and had yet to take it back, so Usagi would continue coming until she didn't need to any longer. As she walked towards the front entrance of Haruka's house, intent on heading home, as it was getting rather late, she spotted another of the house's residents out of the corner of her eye. Setsuna sat in the living room, a cup of steaming tea in her hand, seemingly staring off into space. She had a sad look in her eyes, Usagi noted as she turned fully towards her, and seemed lost in deep thought. This was the first Usagi had seen of the woman since Mamoru's funeral and she decided that it was a good time to talk to her. There were several matters she needed to clear up with the time guardian and now was as good a time as any to do so. She excused herself briefly from Haruka, who had been walking her to the door, and walked purposely towards the green-haired girl who sat obliviously before her. Stopping beside the older woman's chair, Usagi waited a few moments for her to be acknowledged. It didn't take long before her presence was noticed and Setsuna turned her sad eyes towards her, turning a small, tired smile towards the younger girl. For some reason, rather than making her feel better, the smile on the woman's face only irritated Usagi, like she could sense that Setsuna was only putting it there for her benefit, not out of any real joy at seeing her. It was probably her mild irritation that caused her tone to be sharper than she intended when she addressed the woman. "You should have known. You always know. Why didn't you this time?" Setsuna's eyes took on a look of such pain when she said it, that Usagi almost regretted ever speaking but it was something she needed to ask. Setsuna had always been the wise one, the one who had all the answers. They could always be content in knowing that she would stop anything too bad from happening to the team. This time, however, she had missed something, and the results had been disastrous. Unfortunately, the faith she had held in Setsuna's ability now led to her need to ask these questions. She knew on most levels that Setsuna would never let something like this happen if she could stop it, but there was enough doubt that she needed this confrontation, if only to confirm in her heart what her mind already knew. Setsuna held her gaze for a long moment, sad, red eyes meeting questioning blue ones, before turning her head away and answering in a tired voice. "I made a mistake." Usagi knew that the woman was being truthful, but she couldn't help challenging her anyway, if only to see a more passionate reaction than what she was getting. "No. You don't make mistakes. How can you make mistakes, when you know what's going to happen ahead of time?" She saw Setsuna tense a bit and knew she was on the right path. If she wanted to get to the route of this, she had to get the woman to let go her tight control, if only for a short while. She knew what she was doing was cruel, but she had to know. "I don't buy it Setsuna, why couldn't you stop this? Or did you not want to?" It was the last question that hit paydirt. Setsuna's head snapped around to look at her and her red eyes flashed with anger. When she spoke up, her voice was cold with fury at what Usagi had accused her of. "How can you say that? How Dare you say that? I would have given anything to save him. ANYTHING!" She was standing now, eyes glaring with cold fury at Usagi and she couldn't help but notice how tall and imposing Setsuna was when she was angry. Her red eyes made her almost fearsome to look upon and under other circumstances she probably would have been backing up, looking for ways to flee the scene but instead she merely stood a little taller herself and glared right back. "Then why is he dead? Why couldn't you save him? Why DIDN'T you save him?!?" She saw Setsuna's fist balling up and, for a moment, wondered if the woman would lash out at her, as angry as she was. If she considered it, though, the older woman kept the urge internal and instead merely increased her volume to match her rising anger. "What do you think I am? What do you think I do? Do you think I can see the future? The Gates aren't some TV that I can turn on and see what's coming! There is no FUCKING FUTURE! There's just a bunch of things that could happen! Sure, some are more likely, but nothing is set in stone. All I see are the chances, the maybes and probably's and probably not's. I can't always be right, I can't always pick the right ones! I'm only Fucking Human, the same as you are!!" She seemed to deflate at this and Usagi wondered, in a detached sort of way, how long she had been holding all this in. Her shoulders slumped and Usagi could see the tears coming to her eyes as the older woman continued in a quieter, thicker but no less emotional voice. "I...I didn't even see this coming. It's like....it just came out of nowhere." Usagi stepped forward to the woman before her and enveloped her in what Usagi thought, quite correctly, was a badly needed embrace. Setsuna dissolved quickly into tears as she practically fell into her princess' arms. She continued to speak, though her voice was badly broken by her grief-stricken sobs. "I.....I tried so hard....to keep you all safe. I wo......would've died to...to protect him. I loved him so much." Usagi held in her surprise at this quite well, somehow having known it on some level already. Hearing it outloud, that her friend was in love with her fiancee, came as a shock, but she hide it and merely rubbed the older woman's back, holding her tight and waiting for her to continue. "I'm....I'm sorry, princess. I'd never....never have ta-told him. You...you know I wou....wouldn't do that to you. Bu-but I loved him so much an...and now he's gone." She dissolved then into senseless sobs, her whole body wracking from the intensity of her pain and Usagi found herself crying once more as well. Crying for a future that would never be; crying for a child she would never see again; crying for a lover that was lost to her forever and crying for a friend who was more like her than she would have ever thought possible. A friend who she only now realized had lost every bit as much as she had but didn't have the people to turn to that she did. A friend that needed her right now and one she was determined to be there for, if only so they could share their grief and so that perhaps neither of them would be consumed by it. ********************************************************************* As Haruka listened to her heartbroken friend from through the door, she couldn't help but feel a small, sad smile come to her face. She knew it wasn't a time to be smiling, not while two very dear friends were hurting so much and it really did hurt her to hear them crying, but she knew that this was something that Setsuna truly needed. This release was the first step in her recovery and with the help of the princess, Haruka hoped that she would come out of this as a stronger woman, more alive than she had been since she had shut away her emotions so many millennia ago. Looking up, Haruka saw Michiru and Hotaru standing there, concerned looks on their faces, as they were no doubt attracted by the screaming coming from the room moments ago. Haruka shook her head slightly, smiling a little at the two, the first smile she had given them since the funeral and, taking ahold of the both of them, drew them towards the kitchen, away from the scene happening in the living room. Michiru was, of course, the first to speak up as she sat down at the table. "What's going on in there, Haruka? I thought I heard Setsuna yelling." Haruka moved over to the counter and put a kettle on to boil before pulling out the materials for tea. She took a moment of thought before answering Michiru's question, knowing that both she and Hotaru were worried about their friend. None of them had ever really heard Setsuna yell before and the venom in her words, the anger and the spite, it was somewhat frightening coming from their calm, collected friend. "Setsuna is having a discussion with the princess." She began, knowing that she wasn't really telling them much, but feeling the need to explain this properly so that she could make them understand. Michiru began to say something which Haruka knew would be along the lines of the need to stop their fighting, but she interrupted her before she could really begin. "They're not fighting, not really, if that's what you're worried about. Neither of them is in danger from the other. There were just certain things that they needed to sort out between the two of them. Now, perhaps, they can both get on with their healing." Michiru and Hotaru both sat in silence for a long moment as Haruka took the boiling kettle off of the stove and filled the tea pot with water, laying it out on the table to allow it time to steep. She gave them each a cup before sitting as well and waiting for the tea to be ready. When it was, she poured each of them some of it and they all sat, quietly sipping their drinks as they each contemplated their thoughts. Surprisingly, when the silence was finally broken, it was Hotaru who broke it. "What about you, Papa? Is there still something you need to sort out?" She looked at Haruka with sad eyes and Haruka couldn't help the pang of guilt that flashed through her system. She had always known that what she was doing was hurting her family, but she had been too preoccupied to really think about it. Now she was seeing the sadness her actions were causing first hand, and it hurt to know she was the reason for that sadness. She averted her eyes from Hotaru's and stared down into her tea for a long moment before answering in a quiet voice. "Yeah, I guess I do still have things to sort out." She looked up at the faces of the two sitting before her, seeing the sadness in one and the longing in the other, knowing that they were both directed at her and cursed herself for being as selfish as she was. As much as she cursed herself, though, she knew that she couldn't change her feelings, knew that she had to resolve this before things could ever go back to normal, if they could go back to normal. "I guess I've had something to sort out for years now, something I thought I already had." "It's about that boy, isn't it?" She looked up at Michiru sharply, wondering if the girl knew what was going on more than Haruka thought she had. Before she could question any further however, Michiru continued. "The one Minako is taking care of. That's when this all started, wasn't it? When she mentioned him?" Haruka almost smiled at that. That would seem to be when this all started, though it had really started just over three years ago. She knew now, of course, why this whole incident had upset her as much as it had: there was no closure when it came to Ranma's death. She hadn't seen a body, hadn't been able to attend a funeral, hadn't even seen his father since the day he had brought the news. A part of her had never really accepted Ranma's death and now, with this mysterious boy who's history matched that of her Ranma enough to be noticeable, all the past insecurities, all the reluctance to accept his passing came back to the fore. She knew, if she couldn't see this boy, at least hear his name and know for sure that he wasn't the boy she had loved so long ago, she would never truly move past his death. "I guess it does have to do with him, but at the same time it doesn't. I know that doesn't make much sense, but I can't explain it any better. This started a long time before Minako and this boy came up, before even you and I met, Minako's situation just brought it back into my mind." Michiru seemed to reflect on her words for a long time, slowly sipping her tea as she stared blankly at the tabletop before her. Hotaru, also deep in thought, stared at her 'papa' for a long time, as if trying to read deeper into what she had said, before merely sipping her tea and waiting someone else to speak up. That someone was Michiru, once more breaking the silence that had fallen over the three. "You know, if something important is happening, you can always talk to us about it. We are your family, that's what we're here for." Haruka smiled slightly at her, knowing that she meant what she said and wishing that she could talk to them about it. How could she though, when she felt like she was betraying them with her every thought, her every feeling? How could she tell the woman she was supposed to love that her heart was pulling her towards a man she thought dead, a man she loved more than her? She sighed quietly, looking down towards her now empty cup before looking up again to meet Michiru's eyes. "I wish I could, I really do. This is something I have to figure out on my own. Like I said, this started years ago and it's about time I ended it, one way or another." Her eyes were sad as she took in Michiru's form. It was obvious she had hoped Haruka would open up to her and was disappointed that she hadn't, but Haruka could only hope that she would understand when this was all done. Perhaps, once she had resolved her feelings once and for all, she could explain it all to the two of them. It would be nice to finally be able to open up to her family completely. Her tea finished, Haruka stood up and brought her cup to the sink. She turned towards the two still seated and addressed them once more. "Well, it's late and I have a race tomorrow. I'm going to bed. Goodnight." Then she left the room, not even really waiting for an answer, though she knew that Michiru would have liked for her to wait. Now wasn't a time that she wanted to sleep with Michiru though, it felt too much like a betrayal of her feelings, so she went to the guestroom they had set up and slept there, as she had been the past half-week. ********************************************************************* As she walked to Minako's home the next morning, Usagi found herself feeling a great deal better than she had since Mamoru had died. Somehow, sharing her feelings with Setsuna, knowing that she hurt just as badly as Usagi did and that the two of them could deal with it together made her heart feel that much lighter. It came as no surprise to her that Ami noticed when they met up on the way, commenting that she was glad to see Usagi was looking better. It did come as a bit of a shock that Rei noticed as quickly as she did. Despite everything Rei had done for her the past week, she still had trouble not thinking about her in the terms she used to. That's not to say she ever disliked Rei, she had always been on of, if not Usagi's best friend, but she was used to Rei sending pokes at her about her attitude, looks, work ethic and just about anything else she could think of. She never really thought that Rei cared about her or noticed her as much as she had shown to the past two weeks, but she was glad for the change. It still surprised her, though, that as soon as Rei saw her the first thing she did was smile and ask what had put her in such a good mood. That type of intuition just wasn't what she expected from the fire priestess, but she was slowly changing her opinion of her friend. Rather than answer properly and tell them something that Setsuna obviously considered private, Usagi merely told them that she had resolved a great deal the day before and was feeling a good bit better for it. She was, of course, forced to repeat this when Makoto met them about a block from Minako's house, but she didn't really mind as it merely reminded her of just how much her friends cared about her, giving her a happy feeling. That's not to say she wasn't still sad. It would be a long time before she really got over her loss and she still felt the devastation of having lost someone who meant more to her than anything else in her life but she was beginning to see that she wasn't as alone as she had first felt and it was lifting her spirits in spite of her best efforts to keep depressed out of respect. They reached Minako's home and walked up the step to the front door, stopping to knock loudly and wait for an answer. It didn't take long for the sound of footsteps to reach them and before they knew it Minako was ushering them in the door. As they were taking off their shoes, Makoto asked the first question, the one on all of their minds. "So, Mina-chan, where's that hunk you've got holed up in here?" Minako looked halfway between amused and mortified that she had said that, which was odd since it wasn't anything out of character for either of them to say. Makoto was just grinning mischievously and Usagi had to wonder if she was actually teasing or not, considering this was what she was normally like. "We have to see if he's as cute as you say he is." "Mako-chan!!" If Minako hadn't been mortified, she certainly was now. Her face had gone a bright red and she was looking into the living room, the entrance of which she was standing right next to. Usagi suddenly had a very good idea why Minako was getting embarrassed. "He's right here and heard everything you just said!" Makoto did have to blush rather badly at that, letting out a small "Eep!" and glancing around the corner at the young man sitting on the couch, his face also a bright red as he tried to hide it behind a book. Makoto just laughed nervously as she ducked back into the hallway before looking at Minako and managing a weak, "Ha ha, oops?" Minako just sighed in exasperation and pushed Makoto into the living room. The other three followed from behind with Usagi bringing up the rear. Minako brought them all into the room as Ranma put down the book he had been reading, having managed to regain control of the capillaries in his face, and stood up to meet them. Makoto blushed again lightly as they were introduced, her thoughts running towards the fact that she had been right, he was a hunk. That thought quickly led to the fact that she had said as much quite loudly a moment ago and she was once again blushing as she stammered out a quick "Nice to meet you." Rei merely smiled and bowed to him slightly, saying that it was a pleasure and Ami commented on his taste in books. It turned out that it was one of her favourites. Ranma shyly stated that he was just borrowing the book from Minako to pass the time while he wasn't able to train, but that he was indeed enjoying it quite a bit. Then Minako's introductions reached Usagi and they all noticed her state. She was staring. Not just your usual 'glancing at him cause he's kinda cute' type of staring but a full-blown 'eyes wide, jaw on the floor' type of staring. The only thought running through her head over and over again was *It's him.* She had only just seen the picture two days ago, not having thought to ask before that. It had been small, wallet sized, and slightly worn but still in fairly good shape. The boy in the picture was obviously a year or two younger, which made sense since it had been taken three years ago, but it was easy enough to identify him regardless. This was Haruka's Ranma. They were all looking at her strangely now and Rei softly touched her shoulder causing her to snap out of her stupor. "Are you alright, Usagi-chan?" She asked gently, her voiced laced with such concern it made Usagi feel warmer, more content, simply hearing it. Blinking slightly, Usagi fixed a smile on her face as she turned to face Rei, causing the girl to smile in return, before responding. "Yes, I'm fine, Rei-chan." She then turned her attention back to Ranma, who she could tell was a bit uncomfortable by the stare he had been receiving from her. How could she not have stared, though, when confronted by her friend's dead boyfriend? She had to be sure though. It wouldn't do to bring this to Haruka's attention without knowing for sure that this was the same Ranma. Not that there was really much doubt. They had the same name - something Usagi had put off as coincidence before she had seen his face - and the resemblance was far too much for him not to be at least a very close relative. He was supposed to be dead though, how could he be standing here before her. "I'm sorry, I was just lost in thought for a bit there." She knew it was a weak excuse considering how intently she had been staring at him, but they all seemed to buy it. It probably helped that she had been getting lost in thought an awful lot lately. "My names Usagi, it's really nice to meet you." She bowed politely and Ranma returned it before they all sat down and Minako headed off for a moment to get some refreshments. They were all quiet for a few moments, not really knowing what to say since none of them really knew Ranma. After a short, tense silence, it was Makoto who spoke first. "So, Ranma, Minako says you're a martial artist." She asked, a gleam in her eyes. If there was one thing Makoto loved more than boys it was martial arts. Well, martial arts and cooking, but it was a tossup which of the two she preferred the most. Ranma seemed to puff up slightly at the question and Usagi got the feeling that Ranma was at least as passionate about martial arts as Makoto was. "Are you any good?" Ranma's eyes seemed to sparkle a bit at the question, as if it were a question he loved to be asked. He smirked before answering and Usagi had to suppress a giggle at the flush that appeared on her friend's face. Not that she blamed the girl, he was mighty handsome when he smirked like that, so full of confidence. "I'm the best there is." He stated, and though the statement was an extremely arrogant one, Usagi somehow got the feeling that it wasn't an idol boast, that he truly was one of the best. There was an air of supreme confidence around him that made it hard not to believe that he was as skilled as he claimed. "Minako said that you traveled around a lot." Usagi stated, deciding that now was as good a time as any to confirm whether this was Haruka's Ranma or not. If only she had told Usagi her Ranma's last name. She already knew that this Ranma was a Saotome, if she'd known Haruka's than she would have known they were the same ages ago. When Ranma nodded to her question she continued. "Where all have you been?" Ranma seemed to mull the question over for a few moments before answering her. "Well, I've been over pretty much all of Japan as well as a few of the mainland countries: Taiwan, parts of Korea, a little bit of the Philippines and, of course, China." His mood seemed to drop a little at the mention of China, but Usagi thought she remembered Minako telling them that his father had died there, so she wasn't too surprised. Still she pressed on, figuring that she would be drawing his mind away from China anyway. "You've been all over Japan? So you've been around here before?" Of course, she knew that he had been here before. His mother lived here, after all, so it was very likely that he had been born here but that wasn't what she was hoping to learn. She wanted to know if he'd been here recently. "Hmmm, well, since my mother lives here, I guess I was probably born here. Can't say for sure though, cause I don't remember that far back." His eyes seemed to unfocus for a moment, as if he was looking at something none of them could see and Usagi patiently waited for him to remember whatever he was trying to. "We traveled this way a few years ago, too. That would've been, hmm, about three years ago, I guess. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was in this area. We stayed for a few months, too. Left in a real hurry, too, now that I think about it. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to any of my friends. Not that that's so unusual, I guess." "Huh? What do you mean?" Rei piped in, asking Usagi's question for her. She was certain of it now, this was definitely Haruka's Ranma, they were far too similar to be different people. Now she was more concerned about why he apparently faked his own death. If he didn't have a good reason for what he did, she wouldn't be very pleased with him. He had broken her friend's heart very badly, so badly she had yet to fully recover from it, and if he didn't have a damn good reason for it, there would be hell to pay. "Well, Pop had a tendency to be....umm.....less than trust- worthy." They all looked at him a bit strangely at that, including Minako who had just re-entered the room, baring drinks for everyone. Seeing their looks, Ranma elaborated a little. "Because we traveled all the time, he couldn't really get a steady job, so he had a habit of.....stealing.....from time to time. Among other things. This led to a few late night moves as he pulled us out of areas before anyone caught on. I was actually waiting for a buddy of mine, we had a dual scheduled, when Pop showed up and started spouting about it being time to go. I wanted to stay, or at least have time to say goodbye to my friends, so we fought about it but I wasn't good enough yet to take him. After he beat me, he dragged me off and we started to head to China." "He.......he BEAT you?!?" Rei sputtered out. Ranma had said it so casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world, leaving all of them staring at him incredulously. What kind of monster was this man? "Huh? Oh, no, not like that!" Ranma disclaimed loudly when he realized exactly what they thought. "No, no, Pop was never like that. He'd never Beat me, beat me. I just meant, we're martial artists. We usually settled disagreements by sparring. First to get knocked out or give up lost. At that point he still beat me in fights a lot." Looks of comprehension blossomed on everyone's faces, as well as looks of relief. Usagi's, however, was tinged with sadness, as she was pretty sure she knew what had happened. "So you never even got to say goodbye to your friends?" She asked, sadly. Ranma shook his head, a sad look also forming on his face, though he covered it up quickly enough. "Nah, was never given time. I didn't even know their addresses, so I couldn't even write or nothing." Another sad look passed over his face before he managed to pull his mask up again. He smiled reassuringly at Usagi before continuing. "Since I'm here, though, I'll probably look them up again. See how they're doing. It's been so long though, most of them have probably forgotten me by now." Usagi smiled back at him, also in a reassuring way, giving him the impression that she believed his nonchalance to not be the mask it was. She couldn't help a thought from forming in her head though. *I wouldn't count on it, Ranma-kun. I wouldn't count on it.* To Be Continued...... Author's note: For all those of you convinced I can't write a chapter 2 to save my life. HA! ........well, actually you were pretty close to right, but since I was threatened with death and worse if I didn't start putting out chapter 2's, apparently I can to save my life^_^;; I had planned on putting out chapter 3 of Hell Hath No Fury before this, but once I started writing it, it just came so easily that I couldn't stop until I was done, so here it is. Hell should hopefully be out soon as well, assuming nothing else catches my fancy in the meantime.^_^ As usual, any and all C&C will be well-received and appreciated. Send mail to ranikkoku@hotmail.com or drop a message at my guestbook at www.geocities.com/ranikkoku and I'll answer you as soon as I can.(which is usually within minutes, though if I'm sleeping at the time it can take longer^_^) Thanks for reading Bob Lobster