Title: Bonding

Disclaimer: Don't own them, but am willing to negotiate.

Pairings: J/A, C/D and Zhaan. Sorry, Sparky wasn't up for this.

Ratings: R, maybe NC-17... ah what the hell, go for X.

Author: Chygyrl

Feedback: As Audry2 said in "Little Shop of Horrors": "...feed me!" Just be nice, please. I have a fragile ego.

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"Tell me again what we're doing here," Aeryn asked with a sigh, plopping herself down on Zhaan's bed. Across from her sat the blue priestess on a few soft pillows thrown on the floor. To Zhaan's right and Aeryn's left sat Chiana, fidgeting with the stopper on a large, clear bottle.

"John called it a Human Bonding Ritual." Zhaan replied in her usual soft tones. "The females of his planet do it all the time."

"Why does he want us to bond?" Chiana struggled with the stopper some more, distracting Aeryn with her movements.

"He feels it would be a very positive experience for us." Zhaan arranged the folds of her robe more comfortably, "and only the females are permitted this particular ritual."

"Wonderful," Aeryn flopped back onto Zhaan's bed, stretching her arms above her head. "So, what do we have to do?"

"As I understand it," Zhaan began, pulling out a tray filled with an odd assortment of items from behind her,"we are to eat, drink, perform odd beauty rituals on each other and talk."

"Talk?" Aeryn snorted. Leave it to John to find a ritual that involved talking. The man seemed to have an odd fascination with talking, was almost obessed with it. "What the frell are we supposed to talk about?"

"Our lives, our dreams, likes, dislikes. I believe he said most females of his planet enjoy talking about the males."

"And does this particular ritual have a name?" Aeryn asked, sarcastically.

"The Sleepover."

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"Does this particular ritual have a name, John?" D'argo stood in the center of John's quarters, arms crossed over his chest and regarded his friend closely.

"Yeah," John didn't look up from the small bag he was packing, "it's called a Panty Raid, big guy."

"And why are we doing this?" D'argo really didn't understand what was so important about stealing a female's undergarments. Chiana, he knew from experience, didn't have any. But John had gotten it into his mind to do this thing and D'argo couldn't believe he had agreed to help him.

"It's a male bonding thing, man. The guys in my Fraternity did it all the time. Boy, were those times great. The fear of being caught, the squeals of the girls in the Sorority, the heady smell of the women's dorm. God, I miss those days."

D'argo heard the wistfulness in his voice and snorted. Most of his experience with 'male bonding' was in the middle of a battle with others dying all around him. John's idea of bonding seemed a bit tame by his experience. But if John wanted to 'Panty Raid', D'argo figured it was the least he could do for his friend.

"So, where are the others?" He watched as John sealed the bag he was stuffing things into and turned to face him.

"With Zhaan somewhere." John headed for his door, D'argo trailing behind him.

"Should we tell them what we're doing?" D'argo lengthened his stride to keep even with John.

"No," John said, turning a corner in the corridor. D'argo almost missed John's sudden turn, not knowing where they were going."We'll leave them to their bonding."

"They're bonding, too?" D'argo suddenly stopped, causing John to swing around in mid-stride to face him .

"Yes, D'argo," John sighed."They're bonding, too."

"Can we join them?"

"No, D'argo. We can't join them. They're doing girl stuff. We're guys, we don't do girl stuff."

"What's the difference?"

John heaved a huge sigh. Leave it to D'argo to just not get the concept of "Panty Raids". He didn't know how long he had before Aeryn and the others started to look for him. He found it odd that the women of the crew could *not* leave him alone for more than twenty microts without coming to look for him. It wasn't like he was going to accidentally shoot himself out an airlock or anything. Ok, so a few times in the begining he came pretty close. That didn't mean he hadn't learned which buttons not to push by now.

"The difference is," John dropped the bag he was carrying and grasped D'argo's shoulder."Male bonding is different than female bonding. Chicks think it's cool to shop and do each other's make-up and eat gobs of chocolate while dissing thier men."

'Dissing?' D'argo mentally stashed that particular word away in his brain under Crichtonisms, to be analyzed later.

"While us men folk," John continued his lecture," think it's cool to watch monster truck rallies, boxing matches, drink beer, mess with car engines and stuff and go to strip clubs. Girls just don't dig the same stuff we do. They just sit around and mostly ...talk."

"But, I like to talk, too."

"Shut up and don't be a wuss." Joh grabbed his bag and headed off down the hallway.

D'argo added 'wuss' to his growing list.

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Aeryn sat very still on a few of the pillows Zhaan had thrown on the floor for the girls. Above her stood Zhaan, fussing with one last touch to her hair. Chiana sat across from her, Aeryn's palm in her small grey hand, painting the tips of her nails with some kind of laquer. It was red, bright red.

"I still don't understand why I had to be the one to do this." Aeryn whined for the fifth time since the Ritual had begun.

"We told you," Chiana sighed, dipping the brush into the tiny bottle for more paint."My hair isn't long enough for that style and Zhaan... well, she bald."

Aeryn winced as Zhaan 'accidentally' pulled her hair. She knew the Delvian was getting tired of hearing her complain, but she was a Peacekeeper, not a... what did John call it? A Guinea Pig. But it was kind of nice to be pampered.

"Go on with what you were saying, Chiana," Zhaan said, finishing Aeryn's hair and sitting down.

"Well, anyways," Chiana began, wiping a small smudge from Aeryn's nails. "The first time, he sat there and just stared at me, ya know. Like I was some sort of meat, ready to be eaten. And then, he tries to make a growl, low in his throat. But it sounded like he was choking. I thought I was going to have to help him."

The girls burst into a fit of giggles and passed around a large, clear bottle. It was the same one Chiana had been fussing with when they began their "Sleepover". She had found it in John's room and asked him what it was. He said it was "Moonshine". Chiana didn't know what "moonshine" was but John said she could have one bottle as he had three others stashed away.

Once Aeryn had gotten tired of watching Chiana struggle with the stopper and opened it for her, the ladies had discovered "moonshine" to be a very strong alcoholic drink. And since John insisted that the women of his Erf drank while attending these rituals, the girls had begun to get quite inebriated.

"So...so.. so," Chiana gasped, barely supressing her laughter, "he starts to take off his clothes... and gets stuck."

Zhaan, who had just taken a drink from the bottle, promptly spewed her mouthful, laughter choking her. Aeryn and Chiana, who were also laughing, rolled when they saw Zhaan spew.

"And... and then," Chiana continued, " when we're frelling, he starts making this noise. Like a... like a purr. And I'm thinking to myself 'he *purrs*'."

"Now," Aeryn interrupted her. " Do you always have to be on top?"

"Yeah," Chiana looked serious for a moment. "He says Luxon males like to be dominated. You know, one time, he asked me to put on a Peacekeeper's leather uniform and spank him."

"No," Zhaan and Aeryn gasped, eyes wide.

"Yeah," Chiana replied, reaching for another drink. "But what I really like about him is his tongue."

The two other women leaned closer, watching Chiana with fascination.

"It can reach the most amazing places."

All three women burst out laughing and passed the bottle one more time.

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"John," D'argo said, watching the other man try to pick the lock on Aeryn's room. "Why don't we just *ask* them for an undergarment?"

"It's the principle of the thing, man," John sighed. Maybe asking D'argo to come with him had been a bad idea. For the past half arn, D'argo had been pestering him with questions.

'Why are we stealing. You're always tell Rygel not to steal.'

'What's a strip club?'

"Why do the men of Erf find this fun?'

'What do you think the girls are doing?'

John had just about reached his limit. Why didn't D'argo understand that it was the thrill of almost being caught, the joy of seeing half naked women running around in their skivies, that made Underclassmen on college campuses all over his world do a "Panty Raid"?

"Look, D'argo," John gave up trying to pick Aeryn's lock and stood to face him. "It's juvenile, it's idiotic, it's sometimes downright dangerous. But it's a time honored tradition. It's male bonding at it's finest."

"Just what do we do with thier panties when we get them?" D'argo was trying to understand, really he was.

"Hold them for ransom," John shrugged. "Or keep 'em as a trophy."

John went back to trying to pick Aeryn's lock. After a microt or two, there was a 'click' and the gated doors swung open. John smiled smugly at D'argo before gathering up his bag and sneaking into the room.

He was somewhat disappointed to see the room was empty. Dismissing his disappointment, John began rumaging through Aeryn's neatly folded clothes. He found is Calvin's and debated taking them back.

'Nah,' he thought, smiling when he thought of his boxers on her slender legs. 'Let her have something to remember me by.'

John found a pair of black thong panties and held them up for D'argo to see while he was keeping a watch out. D'argo just nodded and went back to watching the corridor.

"Well," John said, heading back out the door. " That's Aeryn down. Why didn't you tell me Chiana didn't have any underwear?"

"I didn't think it mattered." D'argo growled, following John down the hallway to Zhaan's room. "It never bothered me."

"Yeah, well," John muttered."you're frelling the chick."

D'argo heard the muttered comment, but chose to ignore it.

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"...so the he starts yelling 'who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?'," Aeryn was saying, filing the edges of Zhaan's nails. "I kept tell him 'I *don't* know, John. I never met him'."

All three women dissolved into another fit of giggles. Breathless with laughter, Zhaan pulled her hand away from Aeryn's and glanced at Chiana, who was sprawled on the bed applying a red tube of something to her lips.

"Is it just me or is it hot in here?" Aeryn stood and stretched. At the other girls' agreement, they began to disrobe. When they were all naked, Zhaan purred with pleasure of the cooler air on her skin. Chiana began rolling around on Zhaan's bed, luxuriating in the feel of the silken sheets against her skin.

"You know what D'argo calls his?" Chiana suddenly asked, dawing everyone's attention to her.

"What?"

"He calls it his 'little warrior'." Gales of laughter rang throughout the room.

"I once knew a man who called his his 'big monster'." Zhaan piped in.

Gasping for air, Aeryn managed to choke out, "John calls his 'Mr. Happy'."

By now the women where crying from laughing so hard. Naked, drunk, and gasping for air, no one noticed two male figures peeking around the corner of Zhaan's wall.

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John listened to the barrage of giggles coming from Zhaan's room.

'What are they doing?' he wondered. He glanced at D'argo, who was on the other side of the doorway.

D'argo shrugged at John's questioning look. He, too, didn't have a clue as to what the women were doing. Appearantly, female bonding involved a lot of laughing.

John was just about to open his mouth to ask D'argo a question, when he heard Aeryn speak up.

"So, just how big is D'argo?" her husky voice asked. There were a few soft murmurs and then Chiana replied.

"Frell, the first time I really thought he wasn't going to fit." A round of giggles followed that statement. "He kept trying to shove it in and I finally had to tell him to stop."

"So what did you do?" That from the ever inquisitive Aeryn.

"Oh, I just put my mouth on him." John glanced at D'argo and saw the big warrior pale. Never, in his entire time with the crew of Moya, had he seen the big Luxan pale.

"She is *not* telling them that," D'argo growled in disbelief.

"And he like it?" John was surprised that it was Zhaan who asked this one.

"He exploded on contact." Chiana replied. Gales of laughter flowed from the room. John watched as the color completely drained from D'argo's face. The warrior hung his head in embarrassment. John tried to keep from laughing, but a choked snort came out.

"Can we get this over with," D'argo growled softly. John nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable himself. He knew women talked when their men weren't around. He just had no idea they talked like *that*.

John snuck past Zhaan's door and slid up next to D'argo, who pressed himself back against the wall.

"Ok, big guy," John whispered. "Here's the deal. You run in and shout 'Panty Raid'. While the girls are running around, screaming in embarassment, I grab the goods and we blow the joint."

D'argo nodded in understanding. Hit-and-run tactics he knew very well.

At John's nod, D'argo ran into Zhaan's room and yelled, "Panty Raid!!!"

John slid in right behind D'argo, using him as a shield and waited for the embarrassed screams to start.

Silence.

"Uh, John."

"Yeah, D'argo?"

"They're not screaming."

"I know, D'argo."

"John." Panic was setting in.

"Yeah?"

"They're coming towards us."

John poked his head from behind the big Luxan. They were indeed coming towards them.

"John?" He had no idea Luxan's could squeak.

"What?"

"They're naked!"

"Steady, big guy. Don't show any fear. They can smell fear." John took a deep breath and stepped from behind D'argo... and stared.

The women were indeed naked. Three glorious bodies, all different but similar, were striding towards them. Aeryn was in the lead and reached them first.

"John", she purred. He felt that purr slide along his spine and head straight for him groin. Damn, but her voice did things to him. And seeing *all* of her gloriously naked wasn't helping matter any, either.

"Aeryn", John tried to keep his voice calm. 'Down, boy.'

"We've been bonding", she slid an arm around his shoulders and stared deep into his eyes.

"I can see that." He could also smell alcohol on her breath. "What have you been drinking?"

"Your 'shiny moon'." Zhaan spoke up. She stood behind and slightly to the left of him. He jumped when he felt a set of nimble hands suddenly caress his butt.

"Um, that's 'moonshine', Zhaan." John squeaked.

"Whatever," Chiana purred, snuggling close to D'argo. She slid her hands up the Luxan's broad chest and pressed her breasts against him. "Missed you."

D'argo stiffened, a blush spreading over his face as he snuck a glance at John.

"Chiana", D'argo growled, hands reaching out to snag hers before they wandered any farther.

"I'm horny", she whispered, tongue reaching out to swipe slowly along his chin. D'argo's eyes rolled back into his head.

Without warning, D'argo let go of Chiana's hands and swung her over his shoulder. She squealed in delight and began to run her nails up and down his back. D'argo turned and headed for the door, leaving John to face the other two women.

"Uh, D'argo? Buddy? Don't leave me alone here, man!"

D'argo stopped by the door and turned to face John, a smile of pure masculine satisfaction on his face.

"Don't show fear, John", D'argo said with a grin. "They can smell fear." Without another word, D'argo and his prize left the room. John could hear Chiana's excited laughter disappear down the hall.

"Bastard", John muttered. He looked at Aeryn, a lazy grin on her face. "What?"

"You are so frelling *sexy*." She slid a hand down his chest, heading for his waistband. Slipping her fingers under the waistband of his pants, she leaned close to his ear and nipped it. "Can Mr. Happy come out and play?"

"Aeryn!" John grabbed her hand before she could slip it any farther down his pants. "Aeryn, you're drunk."

"I am not drunk." She pouted, her luscious lower lip sticking out in invitation. John stared at the lip, mouth watering to take it between his teeth and suck on it.

"John", Zhaan's voice drifted up from behind him, her hands no longer on him. "What does it mean when the room is spinning and things are going black?"

"It means you're going to pass out, Zhaan."

"Oh." Zhaan giggled and stepped in front of him. He tried to keep his eyes on her face and not on the firm roundness of her breasts or the smooth expanse of her belly.

"You should lie down."

"Ok." She moved off to her bed, hips swaying gently. His eyes followed the movement unconciously. Absently, he noticed she had no scars or birthmarks. Nothing marred the flawless beauty of that beautiful blue skin. She reached the bed just in time. As soon as her knees touched the edge of the bed, she collapsed onto it and was snoring softly.

"It's just you and me now", Aeryn purred, nipping his earlobe again. She rubbed herself against him, breasts squishing against the wall of his chest. Her thighs cradled his own and he could feel her pelvic bone against his rising Mr. Happy.

"Aeryn, you're drunk," he repeated. He grabbed her shoulders and held her away from him.

"So?" She nuzzled his throat and sucked on the pulse point she found there.

"So." That came out as a squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again, "so, I was taught to never take advantage of a Lady."

"I'm a Peacekeeper," she sighed, the action causing her breasts to press more firmly against him.

"Aeryn." His voice held a note of warning. She was going to kill him if she continued to rub up against him like that. His leather pants were beginning to feel too damn tight and his groin was starting to ache.

"Take me to bed or loose me forever, Erfman." With that she grabbed the back of his head and caught his lips with hers.

He was unprepared for her assault. The feel of her silken lips on his turned his brain to mush. The only thing going through his head was how fast could he make it to her room and get his clothes off before she sobered up. When her tongue traced the seam of his lips all thoughts ceased.

There was only the feel of her in his arms, the smooth skin that felt like the finest of silk. The lushness of her breasts that invited his hands to caress and cradle. The firm satin of her belly, the sleek strength of her thighs. And her mouth... God, her mouth.

He opened for her, invited her to take whatever she wanted from him. At the touch of her tongue to his, he groaned at the sweet taste of her. Their mouths fused, tongues twisting and twining. He felt lightheaded from the simple taste of her.

She purred with every stroke of his tongue, a fire burning deep in her belly for him. She broke the kiss breathlessly and grabbed his hand.

"I'm so hot", she whispered against his lips, pulling his hand between her thighs. "Feel how hot I am, John."

It took all his strength to keep his knees from buckling. His finger slid along the hot folds for a moment before sliding into the searing center of her. She let out a keening cry at his entrance and tipped her head back, exposing the long collumn of her throat. He could not resist the invitation and dipped his head to nip along the curve he found. Her fingers clenched on his shoulders as his finger started a rhythm as old as time. She spread her thighs wider to accomodate the feelings he was bring out of her.

"God, you're killing me, Aeryn," John groaned against her throat. He rested he head against her for a moment before pulling back to watch her.

Her eyes were glazed from the passion he was building inside her. Her face, normally stoic, was so very expressive now. From her face alone, he could tell what pleased her: where to press, how hard. He watched her while his finger worked her body relentlessly. When he brought his thumb against the little nubbin hidden in her sleek folds, she screamed his name.

"Again, for God's sake again!!" Her hips were writhing against his hand, pushing back when his finger slid into her. Her nails were digging painfully into his shoulders, but he didn't feel it. He didn't feel anything except his Aeryn, hot and wet against his hand. When he felt her inner walls begin to contract around him, he quickened the pace, eyes never leaving her beautiful face.

He watched, spellbound, as she came. She tightened almost painfully around his finger, squeezing with such intensity it took his breath away. Her face was a mask of painful pleasure. Gone was the Peacekeeper. She was all woman, just for him. And for just a moment, she was his.

He caught her as her legs gave out from under her. Lifting her into his arms, he headed out of Zhaan's room. Without thinking, he strode down the corridor towards Aeryn's room. She snuggled into his shoulder, eyes closing.

He reached her room in record time, puched open the door and made his way to her bed. Laying her down, he gently stroked her cheek before yanking his shirt off. He watched her snuggle into the covers, eyes closed.

"God, you are so beautiful," he murmured, struggling with his pants. She sighed and mumbled something he didn't catch. Finally getting his pants off, he stretched over her and kissed her eyelids. "Aeryn?"

She let out a soft burb.

"Aeryn? Baby?"

She groaned and rolled away from him. He watched her for a moment.The realization she was asleep hit him hard in the gut.

"No, no. Baby, please. Five microts. Just gimme five microts, Aeryn. OK, two. How about two?"

No response.

"Aeryn?"

<snore>

"Shit!!" He flew off the bed. Circling around her room, he let fly a string of curses. "Shit!! Fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck!!! Damn it, Aeryn. Couldn't you stay awake for five more minutes?!"

She rolled over onto her belly, blissfully asleep. John sighed and picked up his shirt. He yanked it over his head and grabbed his pants. Slipping them on, he growled, "so close. So fucking close."

He glanced at Aeryn. She looked so peaceful asleep. He trailed a finger over her silky cheek before heading out of her room.

He wandered down the hall, re-living the scene in Zhaan's room. So lost in thought was he, he didn't notice Rygel unitl it was too late.

The floating chair hit him smack in the head.

"Watch it, Fluffy!!" he snarled.

"What's the matter with you?" Rygel snapped back. John sighed and glanced back in the direction of Aeryn's room.

"Nothing,"he muttered. Rygel noticed where John was looking and grinned.

"Why not tie her to your bed and frell her eyeballs out?"

"What?" John stared at the Hynerian in disbelief.

"It's what the Luxan did." Rygel stated, proudly.

"And how would you know?" John narrowed his eyes. At Rygel's guilty look, John was shocked. "You watched? You dirty little voyeur. You did. You watched."

"Well," Rygel hedged. "They left the curtain open."

"Ewww, that's just wrong, man." John shook his head and headed for his room. "creepy little slug."

Rygel stuck his tongue out at John's retreating back and turned towards Chiana's room. He remebered seeing the Luxan carrying a naked Chiana in that direction. He thought for a moment, then shrugged. Maybe he could catch them again.

With an evil grin on his face, Rygel hovered down the hallway.

The End.