COFFEE
Well,
once I was drinking coffee and I spilled it. On my lap. In front of the hottest
guy in the world. You may say, “Oh, he wasn’t the hottest guy in the
world,” but let me tell you, he was. There’s an official list…I think
it’s called “Hottest Guys in the World” and there’s a ranking, and this
guy was number one. Or is this list only in my imagination…? Um, anyway, so I
have coffee in my lap and the hottest guy in the world is there and I’ve got
coffee on my lap, and the hottest guy in the world is right there and what do I
have, I have coffee on my lap! And the hottest guy in the world is RIGHT THERE!
–Carly, 14, North Dakota
So
I was at Starbucks and I was ordering, and the guy behind the counter asked me
what size I wanted, tall or grande, and I thought, “Well, tall sounds too big,
I should go with grande.” So he makes my drink and when I get it, it’s HUGE!
It’s like, mucho grande! So I said, “Hey, I thought the grande was smaller
than the tall!” and he said “No, the tall is the smallest size.” He
pointed to a tiny cup on the wall. “That’s not tall! That’s short!” I
said. “No, it’s the tall!” he argued. “But it’s so short!” I said.
“But it’s called a tall! Now take your grande!” I looked at my grande. It
was way too big. “This is way too big,” I told him. “You chose it!” he
said. “But I didn’t know it would be this big!” “You should have looked
at the wall!” “But I didn’t know there were samples on the wall!” He was
so totally unsympathetic, so I took my grande and left. But I got the last
laugh. I under-tipped him. –Lisa, 16, Texas
I
was at McDonald’s for breakfast and I ordered coffee with my meal. While I was
waiting, I looked at the display of toys in the Happy Meal and I noticed they
had a mermaid Barbie one! I had to get it! I had all the others except for that
one! So, when my order was done, I asked if I could get a Happy Meal toy with
it. “Uh, you have to get a Happy Meal to get a toy,” the old fat guy behind
the counter said. “But I don’t want a Happy Meal! I just want to toy!”
“Sorry.” Then he handed me my coffee and I left. And I was so mad I forgot
the sugar for my coffee, and it’s all his fault that I’m out of sugar and
a mermaid Barbie toy. –Mary, 13, Kansas
I
once got some coffee and I put sugar and creamer in it. –Darla, 18, Iowa
I
like my sugar with coffee and cream. –One of the Beastie Boys
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