*Phone Rings*
Amanda: *rushes to phone to answer it* Hello?
Telemarketer: Yes, hello. Is there a female over the age of 13 in the house?
A: That's me!
T: I'm doing a small survey on hygiene products! *obviously thinking: HAHAHAHA! Small... *hysterical laughter inside her head*
A: Ok... *thinking: I'm proud of you?*
T: Can I ask you a few questions? It'll only take a few minutes... *more laughter inside head*
A: I suppose...
T: Have you ever heard of THESE products? *lists off 20 products*
A: *answers accordingly and prepares to hang up*
T: Ok... now... out of these products how would you rate them on softness? 1 is bad 5 is great! *lists all the same 20 products*
A: *answers*
T: *goes on with the same list of 20 products using 9 new questions*
A: *glances at clock whilst answering*
T: Now... onto the acne products
A: *jaw drops* I have a question... how much longer is this survey?
T: Oh, there are a few more questions... I'll go quickly *thinks: A few HUNDRED more!*
A: *sighs* fine...
T: Have you heard of these products *another 20 product list*
A: *answers*
T: Now... how good do you think these products are on a 1 to 5 scale? *lists the same 20 products*
A: *answers reluctantly*
T: *9 new questions with same 20 products*
A: *answers and FINALLY thinks it's over*
T: NOW! Onto hand sanitizers!
A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
All in all, the "small survey" lasted well over 30 minutes. Now... I don't see why they couldn't have split it up into sections. As in, one person gets acne washes, another facial soaps, another hand sanitizers and so on and so forth, but OH NO, we can't do that! That would be too easy on the surveyee. Or rather, in this case, the victim. I could've hung up, you say? I know I could've, but I had already told her I would take her stupid ass survey. I decided to be nice since she sounded like she was trying to get through it as fast as she could. I wonder if she got a nice tip for actually suckering someone into completing the whole thing... "Nice job, Velma! You fooled another young, helpless moron child into completing the long ass survey! Here's a $100 bill... ENJOY!" I bet that's exactly what happened. She asked for my email too... it was probably so she could email me something saying "Dear Sucker... thank you for wasting 30 minutes of your time on our survey. I didn't write anything you said down either, so HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Luckily, I didn't give it to her. She also asked for my mailing address... hmmmm...
I think I'll just end the rant right here since I've run out of words to use and space to use them in. Word to the wise, though, before I leave: Don't answer your phone if the caller ID shows "Unavailable". I could go into another rant on OTHER reasons not to answer it then, but I shan't. Anyway, steer clear of telemarketers. If you accidentally answer, just say "No Ablo Engless" and hang up. THAT WILL SHOW THEM!
