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Yeah, you know what I'm talking about don't you? Those damn immature kids who bash into you as they sprint at full speed down the hallway. Yeah, them. You have to know what I'm talking about... you're trying to get to class on time. Minding your own business, you walk down the hallways. You realize that some random child behind you is playing tag with another random child, so you step out of their way in a desperate attempt to not get rammed up the ass by one of their binders. As you move, it appears that they are moving with you. You dart about the hallway trying to get out of the way of the tornado that is closing in on you, but it's useless. Even after all of your efforts to move out of the way, they are still hurtling towards you at light speed. You have no choice but to stand there and wait for the impact that will no doubt land you on your ass to be humiliated in front of those so lucky as to have been standing there watching. This impact is also ironically the one that will make you late for class. As you gather up your books and ponder how they flew twenty feet down the hallway, you run into a big jock. Knowing your luck, this is not just any jock. This is THE jock. You know, the LEAD jock. So as you run into the LEAD jock, everything gets deadly silent. Of course, that's usually how horror films start, isn't it? Then, you are quickly surrounded by the LEAD jock's followers. THEN, the LEAD jock asks you who you think you are by running into him. Pleading, you apologize. Those efforts are also hopeless. Mr. LEAD jock then proceeds to push you into a nearby random object, and, lest you forget running into him, he screams, "Watch where the hell you're going next time" and then signals his followers to laugh. And they do. After all that torture, you carry on down the hallway to your class. "Aaaaah... only 10 more feet to go." you think. BOOM! Some random prep cloud hits you and you are thrown down the stairs. Falling down the stairs, you think to yourself about how pissed you would be if you weren't almost broken in half. Then once you regain consciousness, you waddle up the stairs only to be knocked BACK down the stairs by a guy who thought he might try to set the record for the longest time walking backwards. Finally, you stumble into the class room, five minutes late, and try to explain. And what do you think these efforts were? Nothing less than hopeless... after getting the shit kicked out of you in the hallway, the teacher throws a tardy slip at you and then bitches about how that was your tenth time to be late.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen... this really happens in America's schools. It's time to put a stop to it! The next time someone rams YOU up the ass with a binder... don't stand for it! Take YOUR binder and shove it up THEIR ass! Yes, that will surely teach them.
Please note: When you get the hell beaten out of you because you rammed your binder up the LEAD jock's ass, remember that I had nothing to do with it. I merely suggested you do that. I never held the gun to your head and forced you to do it.
Thank you... Manders |
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