1: The kind of road rage where you have an actual reason to be screaming.
2: The kind of road rage where you don't have an actual reason to be screaming.
Now, with that said, I shall go into further explanation by using examples of each. Our first type of road rage is the one I use the most... let's say you are on your way to school and it's 7:55. All of a sudden, this old geezer pulls out in front of you and drives about 15 MPH because he's busy viewing the scenery. "The scenery" being that old abandoned school, the daycare center, that rundown house at the end of the block, and the mailboxes. So, because you can't pass the man, you are stuck behind him. SUDDENLY a feeling comes over you. A deep, dark desire to get outta your car and beat that old man with the mailboxes that he won't stop staring at. However, beating someone with a mailbox is against the law... your next action? "Hey you stupid old geezer! Stop checking out the mailboxes before you get a close up of them!" Once you scream that, you begin to snicker and the anger subsides... for now. Once it comes back you can scream, "Lights, camera, action! Are you ready for your close up?!" Then, you can imagine beating the old man with the mailboxes, and that should keep you occupied enough to get to school.
The second type of road rage is the one used most against me. So, let's again say you are driving along, but this time you're going to Wal-mart. It's dark outside, there's a man behind you, a cop in front of you, and you're flying along at an impressive 35 MPH (which is also the speed limit on that road). That's just not good enough for "let's go 90" man, and he decides to floor it onto your tail. That, in itself, is enough road rage for you, but obviously not enough for him, because when you look in your rearview mirror, you can read "Stupid mother fucking dumbass" on his lips. Not only is he on your ass, but he's also calling you names. So, you decide to be nice to him and place your hand outside the window to signal him to pass you. He doesn't. He stays on your ass the whole way to Wal-mart, cussing and mouthing the duration of the trip. Halfway to Wal-mart, he turns on his brights and shines them into your mirrors. So, you swerve a bit, and then get used to the lights. Finally, you arrive at Wal-mart. Relieved, you pull into the parking lot. He follows you, still mouthing and on your ass. By this time, you're like "What the hell is up with this assmunch?", but you nicely pull into a parking spot and walk into Wal-mart. About 10 minutes into your Wal-mart excursion, you notice that "let's go 90" man is on your ass again, this time with a shopping cart, and this time you can actually hear his murmerings. It also appears that he has a flashlight with him. You notice that as he is flicking it on and off over your head.
The moral of the story, kids, is that driving is fun, but road rage is not. But sometimes, mixing fun with road rage is fun... so maybe you should try pissing someone off while driving, but make sure it's not me or I will beat you with a mailbox. Also watch out for mean looking gangsters, they might not be up for a friendly road rage game... or if you're REALLY having a bad day, they will be up for it...
THE END
PS: If you ever want to piss someone off without being in the car, just write a rant about road rage and be sure to make "road rage" red throughout the entire thing.
