i looked around for flowers
but i wanted something now
something real
something swift to dull the pain
for when life is like a riddle
and i feel so all alone...
when i am faced with destinys mirror
i have to face the things that are me
the things i really dont want anyone to see
the things that i would rather not be
And so i smash the mirror
and i look instead at a painting
that i did of myself, is it not pretty
does it not please you
but i realize i am lying to myself
and i cannot beleive that anyone could know my pain
And so i escape
numbness is a wonderful feeling
I dont have to deal with anything
I dont have to worry about hurting anyone
because i am in off mode
for my own comfort
while my inner spirit is in a thrice locked cage
screaming for release
I walk through a cave of souls
and hands reach out to me
but they do not know my pain
they could not know my pain
they continue to reach out to me
my spirit continues to beat on its cage for release
i so do not trust these creatures
who reach out for me
they have the eyes of kindness
and hearts of purity
but nobody can understand me but me
and i cast them aside
and when they are bleeding from my blows, i walk on
But numbness does not last
i am still who i am
and the mirror still prevails
and i am caught wondering
why the same souls which i cast aside
are still willing to reach out for me
Shaken i fall to my knees
and look in the mirror
i am what i am
and there are people
with their arms around me
who think that is beautiful
