I can't forget her face, popping in my brain.
so here come a poem,
"My lonely night"
Today, I play a game,
it got nothing to do with girl.
but when my cellphone ringging, I'm always hoping that it is from you.
but no, it is never from you, it always from somebody else.
you make me suffer trought my night...
I can't take this any longer.
but i have to do it at the right night...
and I never know, when will the right night will come.
"Loves"
What is loved. I travel into so many different dream, so many different. But I still can't find the true meaning of Love.
My friend says that nobody can interpret love to it's real meaning. Even if somebody does, that mean, the guy can't feel the love it self again. And they say that I am one of them (the guy that doesn't know or know to much abut love). Good that they don't know about this secret stash of my journal. I will publish this some day.
Love for me is the feeling of being pressed in the heart by something. It's the quezyness at the bottom of my mind. It's the feeling of care. The feeling of happiness when I came near some body I love. The feeling of relaxations when I talk to her.
I don't think I can continued working for my paper until I tell her my real feeling. Not only the dream but also the feeling I keep deep down at my heart.
It's still 8:32 PM, but I'm already starting to get tired. I usually start sleeping at 9 PM but some notion make me want to sleep early today. hm... maybe tonight dream will tell me what is going to happen next for me.
I's already 09:07:37 pm 02/03/04, and I'm just starting to write this again...
I'm waiting for her to send me the e-mail... and it's supposed to arrived at my mailbox 4 hours ago. I think I will send her this following poem:
"A Poem For You"
Standing there alone in the edge of the school
Taking a snapshot of your face
over and over again
You always catch me
a year long project
it's all about YOU
My night is devoted to you
so give me the awful truth
I know you don't like me...
but tell me anyway...
Is the poem good enough? Well anyway, I'm done for the night. Wake me up at 3:30 k?
Here's another letter that I might send to her:
Cinta Tidak akan pernah berakhir
tapi kemarin setelah aku katakan isi hatiku kau terlihat sangat terkejut, lalu engkau pergi meninggalkanku sendiri di ruangan itu.
Apakah itu caramu menyatakan kepedulianmu terhadapku.
Kalau ya, mengapa engkau tidak menjawab ketika kupanggil namamu?
Aku butuh kejelasan, apa yang sebenarnya engkau inginkan.
Tiap detik aku habiskan untukk memikarkan mu.
Sampai sekarangpun, ketika menulis surat ini wajahmu terbayang di pikiranku.
Kubuka album lamaku yang tersimpan jauh di lubuk hatiku, kulihat kembali perjalanan hidup kita bersama. Mengenang masa-masa indah yang tak kan aku lupakan. Tapi apakah engkau akan melupakanku?
Berikanlah aku penjelasan secepatnya.
Karena waktuku tinggal sedikit.
But I don't think it's gonna work. I'll make another one this after noon....
looks like yesterday aren't a very good day for making a poem. I spent my day watching Monalisa smile, again, well, here we go again...
"You"
You are the only one in my heart right now,
You are the one face that pop up in the middle in my dream,
You are the one messing up my sight at games,
You are the one that replaces every picture in the net,
You. Are. my. Dream.
I think that's enough for the night. But wait, I think I get another one coming out,
"Lonely night"
Every night, I wait for you to call, never to be received,
Every night, I wait for your SMS, never to be answered,
Every night, I wait for your e-mail, never to be send,
Every night, I edit your picture, never to be publish,
Every night, I make a poem that will never be said,
Every night, I open up my laptop, just to see your face,
Every night, I wish for you to be mine,
but I know, You will never be mine...
Thats all folks... 02/07/04 hope tomorrow will be better...
02/08/04, for today i only play an hour of quality gaming, but hoping to get a weekend of quality gaming. I'll download the AA for Linux this week. Hoping to get some compensation for today work. BTW, I finish routing my stereo so i get a kind of surround sound quality at my bed room. But I still miss her, especially when I see a couple holding hand, kinda day dreaming I guest. Haven't got a poem for the night. Looks like you guys have to wait for another day for a quality poem. Great, my laptop batteries running below 50% that mean I only get roughly 2 hour to write. Ok then. Gee, don't I have another song for my sleep? It's been 3 day with simple plan, good Charlotte, and blink. Oh well, my jazz CD's is at my cousin house. So that mean I have to get it tomorrow. Maybe I'll use the transceiver for my self. I think I have the space needed. Wait here come one...
"Me, My Self, and You"
I know you don't like me,
but will you tell me that?
I know somebody else like you.
And my chance are to little to say,
that you like me.
But one thing for sure, I love YOU...