* The police responded to a call one day. Upon arrival they find a woman laying dead on her floor with a golf clublying next to her body. They ask the husband "is this your wife?" He replies "Yes it is" Did you Kill her? "yes" he says. It looks like you struck her about 8 times with this 3-iron. Is that correct? "yes" he replied "but could you put me down for a 5?"
* A judge says to a repeating defendant "I thought i told you I never wanted to see you in here again.", your honor "Thats what i tried to tell the police but they wouldnt listen.
* A woman in distress flags down a police officer passing by and explains that she has locked herself out of her car and needs help. So the police officer gets out his slim jim and begins working on the lock. While he's doing that the lady goes in the store to buy a pack of ciggaretts, when she comes back out she watches the police officer through the passenger window and notices that that the passenger door was unlocked. She tells the cop that this door is unlocked and the cop replies "I know I have already unlocked that one for you."
* Since he was a Texan in NY the young man thought he didnt have a prayer of beating the murder wrap. Thus, before the jury was to retire he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of man slaughter not murder and convince the other jurors of it. The jury was out for days, afterwhich they returned with a verdict of man slaughter. Cornering the bribed juror the Texan whispered "Thanks a Million! How did you manage to do it?" The juror replied it wasnt easy, i admitt ................................ all the other jurors wanted to aquit you.
* Two state troopers were chasing a camaro east on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line the first state trooper pulled over quickly, the rookie trooper pulled in behind him and said "Hey sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied "He's in Georgia now they are an hour ahead of us. We could never catch him now." |
