I can�t remember the specific date that I became a Christian. There is no one time in my mind that sticks out where my world was turned upside down and everything changed. To me, all I remember of my Christian walk is growing. I would have been about seven or eight when I first understood what it meant to have Jesus in my life. Before that I went to church and Sunday school every week, but then so did all my friends. There was nothing unusual about me then. But when I understood what it meant to have Jesus living in my heart I started to live my Christian life out at school.
In 1997/1998 when my parents were in college I found it really hard. I was the only girl in our session�s kids and some of the boys made it very hard for me to fit in at school. But God was there for me, and has been all the way through. When I was contemplating suicide, thinking that somehow I would be better off dead, the Spirit helped me through. I remember vividly sitting on the steps at Dulwich Hill Corps in Sydney, where the Spirit was really moving. But doesn�t he work in mysterious ways? I was sitting there with one my friends talking about toothpaste! Toothpaste might seem corny to you, but by talking about the little things in life, the big things didn�t matter so much anymore. After that conversations I realised how much there was left to live for and things got better from that point on. The situation didn�t change, but my outlook on it did.
His last year and a half since I moved to Townsville has been incredible. I didn�t want to come to Townsville, because that would mean leaving behind the group of friends who I loved so much. I didn�t want to leave them, to come to a place one thousand six hundred kilometres away that some of them had never heard of. At one point I almost had mum convinced to leave me behind where I would be �happy�. But how can you be happy when you�re not doing what God wants. I came to Townsville (mostly because I didn�t have any choice) but still had it in my head that if I didn�t feel at home by my birthday (March) I would leave and somehow get back to Tenterfield. March came and I still didn�t want to stay, but I realised that I didn�t have the money to go, so I started applying for jobs. By the time I had the money and could have left I didn�t want to anymore. I met some great people who have become close friends, closer than any of the friendships I ever had in Tenterfield. I found out the other day that Mum had been praying from the time we knew we were moving that I would find a close friend in Townsville and would feel at home here. Her prayer was definitely answered because now I don�t want to leave!
But although this last year or so has been great in that I have such close friends, temptation doesn�t stop just because you have friends. When I was little, I was a Junior Soldier, and as part of the promise said, I will not smoke, take harmful drugs or consume alcoholic drinks. As I got older I renewed this promise every year, and swore to God when I was about 14 that I would never drink smoke or take drugs. Not ever. But being in the work environment over the last year since I got my job I have been under a lot of pressure to drink. So far I haven�t touched alcohol, and I pray that with the Spirit�s help it will stay that way. Since I was enrolled as a soldier, it has strengthened my resolve not to drink, which has helped a lot. Being in the work environment, I started using some of their very colourful jargon, which is not all that pleasant. Until I started work I could have counted on my fingers and toes the amount of times I had sworn in my life. Now I would need a calculator. I am getting better at not swearing though, some weeks are better than others but I pray that I will be able to stop completely.
There is a song that helps me to focus on what is important in my life. Chorus 107 in the Salvation Army songbook:-
To be like Jesus!
This hope possesses me,
In every thought and deed,
This is my aim, my creed;
To be like Jesus
This hope possesses me,
His Spirit helping me,
Like him I�ll be.