Joke 1:
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?"
The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she replied,
"Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head." The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY."
The mother replied, "Please be quiet, Fridge."
Joke 2:
Q: What do The Force and duct tape have in common?
A: They both have a light side and a dark side, and they both hold the universe together.
Joke 3:
A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The man said, "No dear."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
And the man replied, "No, she's left handed."
Joke 4:
What do you call a bunch of bunnies stepping backwards?
A receding hare line.
Joke 5:
Guy walks into a bar, up the wall, across the ceiling, down the other wall, orders a drink, drinks it, walks up the wall, backflips across the ceiling, down the wall and out the door.
The bartender, shocked, turned to a customer and said �Hey, did you see that?�
The customer replies �Aye. He didn�t pay for his drink.�
Joke 6:
Two men walk into a bar, one with a zebra under his him arm. They get completely drunk and begin to walk out, about to leave the zebra there. The bartender calls them back and says �Are you going to leave that lyin� there?!�
One of the men reply �That�s not a lion it�s a zebra!�
Joke 7:
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
The police thought it was a cereal killer.