Romance:

Romance as "a tendency of mind toward the wonderful and mysterious, something belonging rather to fiction than to everyday life." Romance is the stuff that makes your relationship seem special rather than mundane.

 

Nothing is quite as romantic as nature: water, fire, snow, stars, sunset, sunrise. But, how you enjoy these depends greatly on where you live and the weather in your region. Romantic fires on the beach can easily be substituted for roaring fireplaces or a candlelit room. A sunset cruise can be substituted with a horse and carriage ride through a snow-covered park. Honoring all that is wonderful and mysterious in life is romantic. Sharing the silence of a canyon, a campfire in the backyard, watching waves break by moonlight, seeing fireflies dance in the trees, making time to honor the magical things of life and sharing them with your sweetheart—these are moments to live for!

 

Recreation re-creates relationships, so do something playful that stimulates and invigorates your sense of joy. The word "elation" is the core of rELATIONships.

 

 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 

He does not have a BEER GUT - he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

 

He is not a BAD DANCER - he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

 

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

 

He is not BALDING - he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

 

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

 

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

 

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

 

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - he has SWINE EMPATHY.

 

 

· Doing the asking. Don't just ask someone out simply for the sake of it. Instead, find someone that really sparks your interest. Email back and forth a couple of times or have a phone conversation before you make your move. When you're ready, suggest by email or phone that you hook up. A simple "Hey, why don't we get together for a cup of coffee?" is a good start. If the object of your affection is interested (and only if interested), ask when they're available and suggest a time and place. Choose something that's convenient for both of you.

 

· Picking a spot to meet. Ideally, your first date should be at an open place that has a lot of people milling about, like a coffee shop, happy hour bar or casual lunch joint. A little creativity is a good idea, but remember that your goal is not to impress your date with the lavish setting but rather to select a spot that's casual and nice where there'll be ample opportunity to chit-chat quietly and get to know each other. Your best bet is someplace that you've already been to and like. If you don't have a spot in mind, ask a friend, coworker or even your date to recommend a favorite.

 

· Tell a friend what's going on. Sharing the haps with friends will help you lighten up and appease any safety worries you might have. Also, if your date bombs, you'll have someone to laugh about it with, and if your date is the bomb, you'll have someone to share your glee.

 

· Dress to impress, but keep it casual. Pick something to wear that you love and that makes you feel absolutely fabulous. If nothing in your closet does it for you, hit the stores. A small investment into feeling good about your look can go a long way on the love scene. Also, be sure that whatever you wear is appropriate for the place you're meeting at. If you've never been to the spot, call ahead and ask.

 

· Keep your expectations in check. You're going on a first date, not walking down the aisle, so expect to meet a new friend, not your life mate. Keeping your expectations in line takes the pressure off and is one of the keys to a fantastic first date. If you end up becoming more than just friends, wonderful; but if not, you'll at least be relaxed enough to have a nice time. 

 

On the Date:

 

· Be on time or early if that's what it takes to get you there on time.

 

· Break the ice. Find something nice to say about your date...anything. Some kind of compliment on what your date is wearing is always a good bet and an easy icebreaker.

 

· Make your date feel like a star. This means paying more attention to your date than to yourself by listening, asking loads of questions and calling your date by name. If you find yourself talking for more than 5 minutes straight, you need to stop, ask your date a question and try to get some back and forth going. If you're shy, you're in luck -- just come up with a few good open-ended questions.

 

· R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Be respectful of your date. Be polite with thank you's. Pay attention when your date is talking. Give your date space, literally. Monitor your humor. (While humor can be one of the most wonderful things on a date, you have to remember that what's funny to you, may not be funny to your date. So, test the waters before letting it rip. If you both find the same things amusing, laugh up a storm; but if you discover that your humor is different, save your breath while you save your integrity.)

 

· Keep the ball rolling. If it's going well, ask for another date, lead in that direction, or leave it open for the asking later. Make it clear how you feel (everyone needs encouragement!). If you're into playing hard to get, do it with a wink so that your date will eventually go for it instead of just going away.

 

· Be cool. Don't invite any friends to play James Bond on you during your date or provide an easy out if necessary. (Yes, daters do this.) If you're having a bad time on the date, act like a grown-up for an hour, grin and bare it, thank your date politely and leave. On the flip side, if you're having a blast, don't interrupt the flow with shouts of jubilation; rather, stay cool, tranquilly let your date know that you would like to go out again and celebrate with a friend later.

 

· Flirt. Smile. Make eye contact. And off you go.

 

After the Date

 

· Call your confidante with the play-by-play...and laugh, cry or jump for joy.

 

· Make a follow-up call or send an email to your date soon -- the next day or that night is fine, especially if you had a fantastic time and can't resist. Forget any rules about waiting and set up or suggest a second date. Even if you don't meet again for another week, setting it up asap will keep the ball rolling. And if you're the one doing the asking and your date declines, then you'll know where you stand and can move on to better things. Next!

 

· Don't think too much. If you find yourself smitten but your date isn't calling or responding when the ball is in their court, give it a few days and then give a ring and tell them you'd like to get together again. If their response is a dud, let it go and move on. If your date comes around later, realizing how simply irresistible you are, let him or her make the effort to see you again.

 

· Saying thanks but no thanks. If you're not into the other person, send an email saying that you had a nice time on the date but that you don't think it's a match. Just remember to be sensitive and polite when you do so.

 

· Don't lead anyone on. It may feel good to your ego to have someone calling and emailing you, and it may be easier to not have to say "no," but you're not the center of the world, and it's not fair to string someone along. Other people have egos, too.

 

· Rejoice and give yourself a pat on the back. Whether you met the love of your life or a new friend, you've just had a real dating experience! You took action. You weren't a doormat. You shook up your routine. You widened your circle of friends. You learned something about yourself and another human being. You had an hour of fun during the date and several hours of amusement planning for it and thinking about the possibilities. You made a move towards finding someone great. And now, you're ready for the next step...whether that be the second date or contacting someone else for another first date

 

 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

 

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

 

She is not EASY - she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

 

She is not DUMB - she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

 

She has not BEEN AROUND - she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

 

She is not an AIRHEAD - she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

 

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

 

She is not HORNY - she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

 

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

 

She does not NAG YOU - she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

 

She is not a SLUT - she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

 

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - she is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

 

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

 

Ideas for Valentine's Day Dates:

 

· Go for a sunset or dinner cruise or on a paddle wheeler.

· Go for drinks or dinner in an old quaint lodge with a roaring fire.

· Build a snowman or make snow angels.

· Go ice-skating!

· Take a picnic to a lake, beach or riverside.

· Go to an observatory to watch stars or climb up on your roof with a bottle of champagne to watch the night sky. (Be careful!)

· Hire a chef, waiter and/or musician for a private, but fancy, dinner for two at the place of your choosing.

· Do an art project together. Play with clay or write a poem with each     taking alternating lines.

· Go ballroom dancing or swing dancing (or take a class together!).

· Go to a comedy club. Laughter is great for a relationship.

· Rent a bicycle made for two.

· Take a hot air balloon ride.

· Take a helicopter ride at sunset with a bottle of champagne.

· Go wine tasting.

· Try roller-skating like you did in 6th grade!

· Take a Ferris-wheel ride.

· Go to a classical or jazz concert.

· Play Twister.

· Snuggle around a campfire, even if it is in your back yard!

· Take a ride in a horse-drawn carriage.

· Go whale watching.

· Take a sunset boat cruise.

· Get his and her massages at a day spa.

· Go for a hike to a romantic overlook.

 

Most especially, use your imagination! Don't let this opportunity to kindle love or rekindle love go untapped.

Single and wondering what to do for Valentine's Day? Treat yourself special! Do the things you don't normally do for yourself:

 

· Buy yourself flowers.

· Get a massage.

· Get a facial.

· Treat yourself to something new.

· Take yourself to that movie you've been wanting to see.

· Call old friends to say hello.

· Curl up with that great novel you've been wanting to read.

· Take advantage of the opportunity to practice random acts of kindness: Send complimentary Valentine's notes to total strangers on the website. You can even say, "Hi, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day and let you know that I enjoyed reading your profile!" or some other kind words. You never know what will come out of it, but in any case, your love and kindness will undoubtedly have a ripple effect! 

 

If you are thinking of proposing on Valentine's Day, you can use any of the dating ideas and turn them into the perfect romantic setting for popping the question. Here are some fun and different ways to ask... 

 

· Put the question inside a fortune cookie.

· Pull out a map of the star constellations and connect the dots to outline an engagement ring.

· Write the question into a romantic poem or hire a musician to serenade you with a song that pops the question.

· Make a website that has pictures of you and asks the question and only provides a "Yes" button. If possible, show the page to her in person!

· Give her a box of chocolates with a ring inside one of the little chocolate compartments. Make sure she opens the chocolates in front of you!

· Hide a ring in one of those "hide-a-key" rocks and pretend you found the rock on a hike. Or, put the ring in a "hide-a-key" box and say, "The key to my heart has been in hiding, but it is now in your hands," or some other sweet, creative sentiment.

· How you decide to ask can depend on where you decide to go. Just like we have theme weddings, you can have theme proposals. If you are scuba divers, you could propose underwater on a slate or pull out a ring 30 ft under that you have hidden inside a shell.