catch.

maybe that's what it is.
the way we play.

maybe today, catch is how we are. maybe catch is what we feel.

oh the many games of catch. so so many.

catch me if you can.
you. yes, you. ::tap:: you're it. you are IT.
come catch me. catch me...if you can. the chase.

that's part of it. definitely part. her eyes. running circles around my face. behind this tree. that fence. beyond those eyes.
these tears. this smile. i can catch her with mine. and i know my eyes, they sparkle when they run. after. her eyes. her lips.
she's it. she is IT. skin pressed against skin. the only way it counts. she's SO it.

here. I'll throw it to you. you catch it. i'm gonna try a curveball. you ready? ::slap:: hard and round. smack. down and outside.
the pitch. the throw. it sinks. RIGHT at the last minute.
you KNOW it's fast, and it's coming in straight, but then. SURPRISE. slip. dip. strike. caught. offguard....
wrapped yarn stinging your fingers.
maybe we're just PLAYING catch. oh lord knows the things we throw. at each other.

hurled too fast sometimes. the throws that sting your hands. the kinds that leave welts. yes we throw. but not always. sometimes we catch.
yes, we catch. each other.

so. catch me. i'm falling. in love? no no no, well yes. well....maybe.
but right now, i'm just falling. trusting...yes. trust.
yes. i'll stand right here. do you trust me? yes? okay. fall. i've gotcha. i'll catch you.

allright, fine. I'll start. you. you stand here. catch me? I'm gonna fall. you've gotta catch me. :::whoosh:::
she's wrapped around me and I can feel her breathing. she's scared though. i think she's afraid she can't hold me up. not all the way.
she can't catch me forever. maybe just for now. just so we know. we can trust each other.

oh, it's so many different things. each day, something new. but today we play catch. and she's it. and we're both it. and for today, it will be only to catch her pitches.
to catch her falling...and to catch the way she's smiling.

and for her.
and as to what all this might mean....

well, she'll catch on.

I mourn the nightfall of a thousand burnt out suns.
And am carried amidst the seas of my decisions....
I slip into her folds, like the bastard forgetting the abscence of his father.
Lost for but a moment in the mistake
That is definitely so incorrectly right.

I mourn the vultures swimming around my stomach
Moving upward till daylight.
Peeling through my insides like demonsouls.

To scream is to speak is to squeal.
And to fly is to fall.

I mourn the instinct to my responsibilities.
I�m twitching, the linoleum a pillow to the deprived.
Clean, wet floor, mopping up my indifferences with a tattered scalp.
And the drips they drip.
And drip.
And drip.
Down the gutter.

I mourn the morn, in all its oblivious manner.
Not once offering a hello, or a glance to see if I minded
Being disturbed from the everlasting night cascaded over me.
And all my endeavors.

I mourn the flow of consciousness spilling and shaking this out of me
Like a dog throwing the bath water off his fur, dispelling ticks into the grass.
Only to roll back in it and pick them all up again.

I mourn my hope.
Death has carried her swiftly away.
I�m alone.
4 minutes, 33 seconds. This morn. This mourn. This morn�This mourn�Thi�

---

Gray on black.
One e and a two e and a three e and a
For what?

All is full of love.
All is glare and reflections and shadows reflecting what we wish we were.

I�m not.

Tired. But listening

Ambulance. The death cab. Blaring its siren songs.
Noticed and noted.

And then nothing.

But the taste of lemonade and orange juice still tickling my tongue,
And the one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three of my heart,
Pumping and racing almost in time.

Evening conversations, dancing between these dance-dance beats.
Silhouettes tickling my eyelids.

One e and a two e and a three e and a highway.
At night.

The road and the sky.
gray on black.

---

Back Up One Step

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