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I was told to be silent no words are to be heard
By: Tina
I just exist. I am dead inside.
each day is like living in hell
I fear love but yet I love my razor
the razor my friend that helps me cope
and face a new day.
each cut our burn is a victory for me.
cutting my way to slowly kill myself
I have to go to the one thing I can't
tell.
the razor is the one thing that well not let
me down, it weeps deep within my soul.
my spirit has been broken and well not be free
to fly again.
each day I thank about how I could take my own
life and be right with God.
it ment to happen this way it like if
I end my life to day it would be justifed but my
believes tell me it wrong in God's eyes.
but only God knows
9-5-03
Hear I sit once again with the need to
By : Tina
quit the monster within to let it cry.
So I pull the razor along the skin deep
and long with no end.
Then comes the tears of blood beginning
to flow.
I then do it again and again each as deep as
the last.
The relief has come and the tears drops still
flows in a short time I stop the tears untell the
next time
8-20-03
Here I sit a razor in my hand and I become
BY: Tina
totally numb and feeling no pain the razor
begins to cut though the skin deep and long
then the blood begins to flow,
Here I sit with a bottle of bleach and feeling
totally numb and not feeling no pain, the bleach
begins to burn the skin to the point of no return
then comes the sandpaper it begins to rub the burn
skin to add to the release of the pain that lives
in my soul.
here I am full of anger of and no way to let it
out totally numb I begin to hit the wall with my
fist to the point of braking it our the blood begins
to flow.
here I am totally numb I have broken bones and
didn't feel anything.
here I sit using any means of self-injury to punished
myself for my mess-ups I do and quit the monster
that eats at my soul it relief of the pain and anger
that I can't sear with anyone.
it's not to hurt others it is my way to be FREE.
8-8-03
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