(or why I never leave the house)
As soon as I left the house my hands started to sweat even though it was a chilly 55 degrees outside. The trip in the car wasn't so bad. Got the windows closed, radio up loud, the usual. Pulled in the parking lot,got out of the truck and here we go. 'Just stay calm' my inner voice whispered in my ears as I marched myself to the door. My hands were wet, and I could feel my heart beating in my throat. I brushed by the door greeter, didn't even look him in the eye, I was too busy trying not to visibly shake. Ever have an anxiety attack? How about a heart attack, I have it on good authority they are almost identical. Eyes forward, hands clenched at my side, I walk straight to the household goods aisle, where incidentally there must have been at least 6 people with 4 carts just standing and talking right in front of the cheap stuff.Crisis, ask them to move and try to look normal while my heart is racing, my hands are dripping and my stomach is doing the macarana or grap a more expensive brand? Ok...Charmin it is. 'just keep it together till i get to the parking lot' I think as I hurry to the checkout line while my stomach churns nauseatingly. God...only 2 damn lines open and at least 4 people in each. Quick count of which line has the least amount of products to be bought and I get inline. 'stay calm, breath in....breath out' My heart is pounding so hard I feel like its going to leap out of my chest and bounce on the floor, I keep shifting the Charmin that is threatening to slip out of my still sweating hands. I keep my eyes down and my mouth shut, waiting my turn to checkout.My chest is so tight I can hardly breathe. The minutes tick by so slowly like I'm in a freaking time warp. Damn the old lady in front of me had coupons AND knows the cashier, she's doing the chit-chat thing, I feel like if I don't get the hell out of here I'm gonna die. 'jesus hurry up....can't you see I'm half a minute from puking right on your Dr. Scholls orthopedic shoes????' I distract myself with the image of her reaction if I did and remind myself to breath before I pass out. Finally she's done and I put the paper up to be scanned, my hands shake only a little when I hand over my money to the cashier...'almost done...keep calm, almost done' echoes in my head while the rush of my hearbeat thunders in my ears, the cashier bags it and hands me my change,my hands are shaking so bad I drop a quarter and some dimes on the floor,'screw them' I think and almost sprint for the door. I run across the parking lot, right in front of an oncoming car, but make it to my truck and hop in. I fire up the engine and race out onto the main road trying to catch up to my pulse. I do 70 and pull in the yard in ten minutes. My hands don't even begin to stop shaking till I'm safe in the house.
Eventually I'm able to calm down and feel almost normal. Next time either someone else goes...or we start using the notebook paper on our asses.