3:00 AM oh why oh why?
Area is phe times pie,
Right?

Coffee cup so sacred sweet.
FORTRAN 1000, oh how neat.
Computer pixels light my life.
Today's the day my lovely wife
Left me and my HP(1).
Couldn't tak the strain you see.
"It's me or HSU (2)" she said
Xmas break, I'll sleep in *bed*.

At 9 o'clock, it's chemistry
109--another "D".
Then it's statics, another hour.
Behind my book I do cower. Five weeks behind,
things look dire. CH2MHill(1) I'd need to hire,
Just to pass this class.

But at least I've got my health, If no degree of any
wealth
Spent on books and tutors,
So I can have a grand future.
With my degree I'll get a job
And roll in dough, like a slob,
Somwhere where it doesn't rain.
Take aspirin for the pain.

I recall, long ago,
When I was young and in the know,
That engineers, they drive the train.
I bet in school those men stayed sane!
But my shrink he does like me
Goes to Maui on my fees.
And all my pencils I do break.
Give me another drink to slake
My ever growing thirst for booze.
Red and Gold(2) I don't confuse
At least.

In a room that's deathly cold
Five years later, it's all old
But I'm nearly halfway done,
And *wow* look, theres the sun,
But there it goes again...
Professors here, well, they're OK
If I ge a passing grade.

Hey look ma, I'm done at last.
Ten years of work sure went by fast.
Degree in hand, I id farewell
To this crazy, crazt hell.
I got a job in LA,
They needed me right away
To clean up this huge landfill.
Gone the booze and aspirin pills
Replaced by air I cannot breathe.
The people here they make me seethe.
My boss well, he's no nice guy,
If I take trips, and I fly
In the cargo hold I go,
Or if by boat I have to row.

And every night I bring it home
Lugging disks and heavy tomes.
Homework still, forevermore.
I am no longer very poor,
Just no free time or freethought
My own doom I have wrought!
That train, well it sure looks good,
Just perhaps, maybe I should!

(1)Hewlett Packard Calculator
(2)Humboldt State University
(3)a famed environmental engineering firm
(4) Red and Gold Nectar--two beers brewed locally