Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 25th, 1999
Sheryl Crow, The Globe Sessions
1205



Well...I found that entry with the earlier dream...or rather, I found where it was *supposed* to be...
Of course the actual entry is MIA.  I'll try to hunt it down on the old powerbook sometime later perhaps...maybe muck around geocities for a spell on the off chance it's still there.  It was March 11, 1998 that I had the other dream.

So it's thanksgiving today...told Dan this morning, or rather, wrote him off...he had to email me his thoughts.  In a pissy fit last night/this morning, he stormed off and went home in that all too familiar give up and go home attitude he has.  He wrote me an email saying I was being a fucking asshole about the money he owes me and that I just *had* to bring it up in front of Perez instead of in private...fuck it, i'm just gonna quote everything here...not very nice but then I don't feel very fucking nice about it.



why am I so not surprised that you had to go to the office and email me
instead of telling me this face to face.

for your information, the reason why i alwasy make you seem an ass in front
of women is because it's the only time you *seem* to get serious enough
around me about anything...so i took advantage of the opportunity to try to
get straight answers...of course instead of maybe *apologizing* for the
delay you stormed off--OK whatever, maybe you didn't feel an apology was
enough but I just feel I've bailed enough people out enough times and
shouldn't fucking plain even bother any more becaue they just don't seem
gratefull.  Perhaps I should be wrong to feel owed a little something for
being so generous.  Perhaps I should stop feeling so fucking used for being
generous.

it seems then that I sure fucking hope you enjoyed dinner because I guess
then that it's the last time we go out together.

so i expect the $300 you owe me as soon as you can...nevermind the hardhips
I face because of the delay your hardhips will cause...something perhaps you
should have thought about before you spent the other fifty some odd dollars
I loaned you extra.  nevermind the countless other times I payed for dinner
or movies or cigars or alcohol always assuming you'd be the good enough
person to say maybe once or twice "this one's on me".

so maybe you were drunk and not able to think straight.  i hope not cuz you
sure as hell drove home (or maybe you were too headstrong as always and
walked...i really don't feel the need to walk outside and look for your
fucking car).  In ANY case, as soon as you can, out of duty, I'd appreciated
my money.  When you feel less "i'm always right because i'm smarter and I
understand everything; you should take my advice while i ignore yours even
though I specifically asked for it on numerous occasions...lo and behold if
you weren't fucking fucking right once in a blue fucking moon"...

maybe then we can be friends and maybe then we can fucking hang out.
Perhaps I should listen to everyone I know and write you off as not worth
bothering with since yer so damn headstrong and piggish and fucking
arrogant.  If you feel like being a hard ass and all cool and prick like
about paying me back, in light of this note or fucking what--act as if I'm a
loan shark and treat me mean--what-the-fuck-ever.  You are hard to keep as a
real friend and i oftentimes wonder if it's fucking worth trying.

the only final note is this:  yeah, I can't help but usually having a
serious fucking inferiority complex when we're both around women...You have
a much better body than me and a much more forcefull attitude than I do.
Tonight it made no difference though becaus I could give a shit either way
about Perez...no matter what you might be thinking now...(and I could just
bet you're all thinking, "yeah right", or "he's drunk"...but I want to hear
from you when you can pay me and no earlier...if that's all you have to say
you can leave it closed at that.  I don't need you as a friend.  I learned a
long time ago how to get by on my own.

----- Original Message -----
From: Daniel Kennedy
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 1999 5:08 AM
 

>
> Glen,
>
> Sometimes you are a huge asshole.  I'm not going to try to explain to you
> anything with the money situation because we've already gone over that.
>The thing that I wonder about is why you are only an asshole whenever there is
>a female around.  Do you have such an inferiority complex that you have to
> try to attack me in front of women to make yourself fell better?
> Don't worry...  It won't happen again.
>
> ______________________________________________________
> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
>



maybe some of the things I said were wrong, or not completely on the marker, but I don't care--I was close enough in any case.
Umm...yeah, Dan came over last night.  We drank and then like, he left.
Reading it over, I believe in what I wrote more and more, and realize I truly did mean everything I said with a passion and i don't hafta worry about it.

Meri warned me about being so generous.  My parents warned me...pretty much everyone has warned me but i never listen and alwasy assume it'll all BE OK...well fuck it.  It's time I stop giving so much and start asking for a little myself.

I'm about to go over to Migs place for thanksgiving...so my thanks...that I had the strength to fucking write Dan off for once and for all finally, that I have a family far away that loves me and misses me, that joining the army has allowed me wonderfull opportunities just as I'd hoped it would...

i guess that's about it.  not a very long list...
 


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