sorry, had to be done. This was very productive weekend for me on several fronts. I realized things about msyelf and worked through them...I also got drunk and partied ;)
Friday morning I had another written test in CLS...i had the only 100 in the class. :) And to think I was worred about it a little...jeesh...army tests...Our instructor was a substitute--Jim is down in Georgia till Tuesday. The sub was a stone cold austin look-a-like-biker-paramedic-S.W.A.T. team/fire-fighter associate. Cool guy, had some real cool stories.
iccckkkk, "betterman". this is a very short set boys, please play more "non radio friendly mass consumed and over rated songs"!
Anyway. Dan, Dave, and I left fort bragg about 1630 and finally made it into Pittsburgh PA around 0130. There were more deer along interstate 79 than I'd ever seen in my entire life. We took my car...the combination was not a very heartening thing, but dave managed to slow down in time and avoid the single solitary (thank GOODNESS) one that was on the road in our way...
We met Eric, Dave's college friend and all the housemates.
This was were we wer to party hard Saturday night...That night however
we were shuttled off to one of the colleges were Dan was meeting this girl
from the internet and Dan and I were meeting friends of hers...all of them
very cool people, and two of them that would comprise the centerpoint of
the wknd for Dan and I...
Melissa was about 5'2" and was, point blank, Rebecca
with a bit nicer figure and the happy go lucky attitude she'd had when
I first met her--b4 everything bore down on her...i was most assuridly
smitten. Kelly was close to 22, blonde, and cute as well. Dan,
as he always does, found his way into the cutest girls arms...hers.
I will never again out myself in the situation where there are "women to
split" between us (i put that in quotes because it's a terrible way to
look at it and used mainly for lack of more ingenuity in phrasing--more
on that l8r) because he always makes a bee-line for the women I am most
attracted to...and then of course I am left in the mud with the others.
There was also Lindsey...a cute girl in her own right
and fun, but quiet and not very outgoing. She had an eyebrow ring
that I would later tell her I found sexy.
Dave and Eric came with us to hang out with the ladies for a bit. Dave met "his" gal Megan and they spent the night with themselves. Eric left after not too long--when I first met him, and for quite some time after, I got unmistakable flashbacks of Greg, my half cousin...Eric in his hat looked quite much like Greg Rogers...
Dan and I spent the evening getting to know the women. We slid up and down the tile dorm hallway in our socks, jumped on and deflated an inflateable couch--tossed playing cards out the fifth floor window...all great fun.
Melissa is apparently kinda-semi-sorta-she-doesn't-know-what's-really-going-on
seeing a guy i never met or heard much about...so I left that at that.
So I wrote off the "no-inhibitions" rule Dan and I made for each other
this weekend...Yet, as it always had...it pained me to see Dan hanging
all over a women he would never be able to sustain a relationship with...so
much so that I made him promise me he wouldn't haev sex with her.
I didn't want something to start akin to Katie as a result of that, and
I didn't want to see her hurt by him or by both of them. I told her
as much, that Dan was having problems I thought, correctly or incorrectly,
just by my viepoint and morals as having problems...perhaps not by hers...it
was probably wrong of me to do that, and she told dan what I said...He
confronted me and I tried to apologize about it...
I just can't stand to see things happen I can prevent
when it pertains, especially to someone I care about...
But that was saturday night I told her that so I'm getting ahead of myself!
Stayed up to about 0700 saturday, slept till 1030. Then Dave and I left...I didn't see a whole lot of point in staying around since Dan had himself occupied by Kelly and Mellissa was taken and...Dave was going to the college football game so I decided to tag along...besides, we were going to go get a fifth of jack b4 the game started ;)
The game started at 7...we drank before then...I got trashed
drinking shots of beer every minute on the minute for a half hour...it
was the greesy McD's I'd had for brunch...I *finally* picked up a used
copy of the Singles soundtrack while up there this weekend, and
the first Devlins CD too...I had never seen either used before...
Jen's giving me grief about nto having the Singles
disc b4...it's been out for almost a decade now, with PJ and soundgarden
and all kinds of great stuff...
The game itself was not so great, at least the first half. Pittsburgh was getting trashed and couldn't put up an offensive line for shit. The second half was much better, but Pitt still couldn't pull it together enough. We left and went back to Eric's townhouse where there was a huge courtyard keg party with a couple bands and *tons* of people...
Dan eventually brought the women over and I pretty much
left them to their own devices...wandering in and out of the townhouses,
listening to the bands, talking with various strangers, etc. After
the party had reached it's zenith and was starting to wind down I spent
mroe time with Dan and Company...who were all trashed. That's when
I talked to Kelly. Melissa was really shitty so I had no problem
telling her I liked her and that it was a shame she lived so far away.
She brought three boys with her so it was easy to drop it out like a hat...i
expected nothing.
Now though it seems she wants to keep in touch.
I'd like to but I dunno...she wants me to come back out and hang out...for
some reason she took it better than I thought...550 miles is too far for
it to matter however
When Melissa hugged me goodbye and tahnsk for the ride...actually,
come to think of it, it was more like when she was writing her email address
out for me that I realized when I am fifty years old I will wonder about
Rebecca and how things could have maybe turned out different. I have
not told my parents to let her contact me. I doubt I ever will...it
will remain one of those burnt bridges.
I have always believed that regrets are worthless and
do nothing but hinder the present and the future...but she is one regret
I will always force myself to have. Masachistic I suppose.
Melissa is so much like she was.
Of course, being me, this is where I make that obvious leap that Melissa is who I'm to replace Rebecca with and that was the fates purpose for this weekend...but I'm shying away from that view I think. Even so, I have no plans yet for the 4 day wknd coming up in a couple weeks...
I wasn't going to at first...in fact I dreaded keeping in touch with her...but she asked Dave online or by email I guess if I was honest when I said I liked her last night...she remembers so I owe her at least a little KIT...