02.14.99 -- Yet Another Valentines Day

w/o a SO, wahoo big deal...although it's amazing to imagine an SO anytime anyways. Haven't written for a while -- no desire to do so...but now I'm sitting on CQ for two hours 1500-1700...Sgt DeFrancisco asked me if this was my journal...He's a 71D instructor and a little too strict IMHO. Sgt Douglas is cool -- lasid back -- more like a college Prog than a Sgt...class is simple easy, follow the examples if you don't have the notes...
Toolin is on the other chair
Haven't seen Carpenter much -- he's on POV pass w/ his family this weekend. Keller didn't find those D & D books -- he said he's going to Barnes & Nobles on the morrow -- maybe there. Been eating junk packaged food this 3 day weekend -- Columbus Day. (ed. note actually it was President's Day)

Sgt. is up on 3rd floor bitching out female soldiers -- we're eavesdropping on the intercom.
Developed some film -- most of the bowling alley pics got washed out due to too much light *sigh* I don't even remember why but I took a picture of Seikel that came out well...I kind of like her, so...Good thing 'bout this CQ is no FG for a while now.

I was lying on my bunk a while ago, reminiscing -- about doing the same in Arcata, but w/ my stereo belting out Tool or PJ or RH instead of headphone "Nevermind". Anderson is whining whining whining about having to be Curtis Barney's buddy so CB can do her extra duty punishment for fraternizing (ed. note having sex) w/ Hamlin...But Freedom -- alcohol -- *real* booze not MGD in the frickin' can, long walks on the beach or in the redwoods, talks w/ Christa over Coffee & Cigarettes Liz would *always* smell no matter what we did to hide 'em...hehe.

I recollected failings today...true poetry is born of strong Emotion. Walt Whitman was correct on that matter, and listening to the deceased Cobain drove home the point -- his emotion was Anger, Depression, Isolation...I have no voice because I lack passion as of late, and perhaps my quest is in search passion. It's so very hard to search when you can't pinpoint what you're looking for.
1600
"And I still/ haven't found/ what I'm looking for" Got Oria the "U2, Best of 80-90" Cassette for her Valentine's gift.

Saw "Down in the Delta" last night -- good movie -- got me misty-eyed for a few moments.