Your dearest love
WOOHOO! He�s fallen for it; his face said everything as a broad smile crossed his face upon reading the letter. Dense, he�s absolutely dense or just really stupid. I mean come on, he just moved here a couple of days ago, who would send him something like this. OH LORD! What if he thinks I sent him these letters? STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! I couldn�t keep myself in check but then again I didn�t know I would come up with this plan the same day. Why does the good always have to come with the bad?
"Hello, Madison Henry please? Tell her it�s urgent and that it�s Desi Varella."
"Desi, what�s wrong? Did he find out and you�re at the police department?" Madison asked with concern.
"No but it is urgent. I just delivered the second letter and he fell for it."
"That�s your plan, now why are you disturbing me in the middle of my meeting?"
"I think he thinks I wrote those letters, not as a prank but the real thing. It just dawned on me that he only moved here two days ago and frankly nobody knows him well enough to do that besides me. What am I going to do?"
"There�s only one thing to be done. I hate to be the voice of reason but you have to listen, be nice to the guy. Act as if nothing has happened. If all else fails, tell the truth, the truth doesn�t have to bite you. The truth can be nice if you let it be nice. Be friends with Riley and the truth. Now if you�ll excuse me, I don�t intend to be fired."
I hung up and contemplated everything. She had a point but suggesting that I embrace the enemy and act like his friend. IT�S ABSOLUTELY PSYCHOTIC! However there is nothing else to be done. It�s either continue with the charade in such a fashion or face the music. Gosh, life is just so arbitrary!
Just as I was about to go and attempt a peace offering, I got a call from the cabaret asking me to come in and do a quick rehearsal. Figures! Anyway, I dropped a note on his doormat this time in my own normal handwriting. If he wanted to make peace then he would meet me at the Papillon at 5.
It�s amazing how hard it is to hail a taxi. I guess I got used to the methods used in London and the M�tro in Paris. It�s really pitiful that I can�t whistle, you know, those loud wolf whistles one can�t help ignoring. It took me a half an hour to find a taxi and another hour to get to the cabaret.
"I see you�re not used to the streets of New York yet," a voice said as I passed the back door. Low and behold it was Riley Butler himself.
"You�re early, I wrote down 5 in the note." I walked back to the door and we both entered.
"Guess who you�re rehearsing with? I�m the bass player. SURPRISE!" he explained holding up his arms on that last word.
"Oh, I didn�t know you played." I�m really trying to be nice here. Normal conversation, see I can be civil. I really didn�t know though. However nonchalant I sounded, don�t even be convinced.
"Then again there�s a lot about me you never did know."
Okay, clenching my fists here. Sure I just didn�t know that he played bass but he could�ve guessed that doing what he did to me was exactly humane either.
"Good you found your way Desi," Kyle the manager said as we walked onto the stage. "I see you�ve met Riley. If there�s no need for anything else or any questions, we�ll get started as soon as Rose gets here."
We both headed for our instruments and started warming up. A half hour in, Rose Davina, resident prima donna and headliner at the Papillon while she�s on Broadway doing her self-written play struts in late holding, what else but an iced cappuccino complete with whipped cream and everything. I met her in Paris once after a show, she�s your regular snooty, heavily accented blow hard. She was up to replace me as Esmeralda when I left, thankfully the directors had the sense to hire someone with talent.
"Kyle, darling sorry I�m running late. The auditions were horrible and I needed a massage to rest myself up. Whom do we have here?" she asked eyeing us.
"Our new piano and bass player; Desi Varella and Riley Butler. Riley�s an old friend of mine, we used to play gigs together. Desi Varella..."
"Ah yes, Desdemona, I had the pleasure in Paris. You were a beautiful Esmeralda," she said mockingly.
The rehearsal went as follows, TOTAL AND UTTER COMPLETE PAIN. That woman is a tyrannical, malicious demon. Great selection of songs but all ruined by her voice. I can�t even begin to count the mistakes. Needless to say, the whole peace offering appeared more appealing by the second. I was thrilled beyond words when we took a break.
"Gum?" asked a familiar voice. Well, this is the moment of truth. Hate down the drain and bright sunshine painted on the face.
"Sure thanks. Listen," I started popping the gum in my mouth, "I just wanted to make peace. Even if the whole thing ten years ago still haunts me, I�m willing to try civility for the time being. Now, your turn."
"Fine, as long as you�re being adult about this. I do wish that the thing with Trudi did not happen. She was inconsiderate and a lousy person. I�m glad that I ditched her the night of the prom and that Ronnie Livingston got her pregnant that very same night. I apologize for being a total idiot; selfishness beat my humanity to death. I�ve lived and learned, please forgive me," he added to his long speech and kneeled down for emphasis.
I couldn�t help but laugh; okay I�m a sucker. "Yes, yes, now get up. I can�t believe she got pregnant. Please tell me she blew up like a balloon?"
"She was a killer whale."
Triumph is mine; I�m where I want to be and I found out that Trudi got her consequence. Things would�ve been better had we not suffered three more hours of Rose Davina screeching with her heavy accent. My ears rang as I left to go home that night. I just have to think happy thoughts, getting Riley back and a nice warm apartment to go home to complete with best friend to relate these happy thoughts to.
Part 4
February 6, Rose�s Opening, the Papillon
Tonight marks Riley and my debut at the cabaret, Papillon. Rose�s screeching has thankfully developed into a little hum, less grating on the ears and glass cups. Sent a few more letters to our dear friend Riley as my alter ego, mystery woman. I�ve described myself as a redhead with a voice that borders on Minnie Mouse and a style that�s a cross from Jackie Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe. Isn�t the fantasy world just so cooperative? I�ve even converted Madison a little. She seems to like this now even if she won�t admit it. I can tell though, she likes it as I drop the note and run around the corner while she watches from the peephole.
I did my ritual peek out at the audience ten minutes before we instrumentalists were to warm up the house by playing improv off themes the audience gave us. Madison was seated up front with Rosalind and Cordelia. Thankfully my improv skills aren�t too rusty; I�ve been practicing ferociously on the piano I found in the basement of the apartment. Meg let me use it as long as I didn�t wake up half the building in the middle of the night.
We finished our little parts just as they introduced Rose and she came out. I was relieved when the night was over but the ringing in my ears didn�t cease. The screeching had returned when she strained to hit high notes after the first portion. The funny thing is how the world just can�t see nor hear her faults. Anyway, onto the more exciting part of the night. Afterwards Riley, Madison, and I headed out to the nearest bar for a drink. Let�s just say, somebody had a little too much to drink and us girls found out what we had curiously contemplated over the last month.
It went as follows:
"You two are girls, I want your opinion," he requested showing signs of his drunkenness. "What type of girl sends a guy anonymous love letters?"
"I don�t know, maybe a really desperate one," replied Madison giving me a look.
"Who really knows, this world is a strange place," I followed trying to divert his mind. "Come, let�s take you home."
"No, wait, let me finish. I�ve been getting these weird letters from some girl. I don�t who she is and call me crazy but I think I like her. That�s crazy isn�t it?" he asked us in full drunken stupor.
"No but you have to be careful of the delusional people in this world. Now let�s go," answered Madison trying to assist him.
"Stop, wait a second," I intercepted, "lets hear him out, then maybe he�ll let us take him home."
"Thank you Desi, now as I was saying. I don�t know why but I don�t think she�s crazy, I�ve got this sort of gut feeling. Those letters, they seem...they seem...I don�t know, I don�t know! They�re sincere, not in jest. I think I like her, strange as it seems. However flowery and mushy the letters are, I look forward to them. I want..."
Unfortunately we couldn�t find out what he wanted because he chose that moment to vomit all over me. The taxi ride wasn�t all too pleasing as I smelled of alcohol and vomit accompanied by a very drunk man and a woman trying to hold the drunk man upright. The effects of my prank love letters were out in the open now. His head rested in my lap while his feet were in Madison�s. She was silent all the way home but she did give me these looks when we got into the taxi. Somehow, it just doesn�t seem so fun anymore. I realized all that reeking of whatever is was that he ate at 2 am in the morning.
February 7, The Fateful Day After, our apartment
"Well what do you have to say for yourself?" Madison asked pouring a cup of coffee that Saturday morning.
"I have no idea what you�re saying," I replied reaching for the cup. She batted my hands away.
"It�s your fault, look what you�ve done to the guy. How did it feel with his head on your lap muttering away?" she asked handing me the coffee. "Don�t even try drinking that, you�re going to bring that to him and you�re going to tell the truth."
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" I exclaimed loudly. "You don�t know how much work it took me to control my seething anger. Success was mine last night; he was drunk and miserable. Hardly depression but the deception is full and seemingly potent."
"Listen to yourself you monster, you who spouted out the acts of humanity. It has gone too far, do you actually want him to kill himself? Will you be happy then?"
"I won�t tell him, what good would it do anyway? Listen I�ll end it then, how about that? One final letter and after that nothing more. I promise," I offered.
"Keep that in mind then Desi, I don�t know what I myself will do if you don�t. Go over, give him the coffee now. When you return you�re going to write that letter. I want to see it first before you give it."
"Fine." I took the coffee and went over.
"Listen, I hope I didn�t do anything to embarrassing last night. I shouldn�t have gotten that drunk."
He had taken a lengthy time to open the door having been in the shower. I had held out the mug and was ready to head on back over until he wanted to talk.
"No nothing too embarrassing. Just your average drunk mumbo jumbo, vomiting all over me. Nothing I haven�t done except the whole sleeping with costar thing."
He choked on his coffee as I said that. "Interesting concept," he commented. "Let me guess, a drunken decision not a sober one."
"Exactly, how did you guess?"
"Well knowing you I figured as much."
"Well for one thing, you never did know me that well either. Or else you wouldn�t have done what do you did."
"Do you keep that thought in your head all the time. I admit that I succumbed to her depraved desires against you but it�s been ten years."
"Well then, you obviously have never felt anything. It was pure torture to be used. What seemed like sincerity turned out to be deception."
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH; so I went on and on again. I couldn�t help it, the opportunity was right there for my taking. Therefore I took it. The afternoon was spent with Madison constantly reminding me to write the last fateful letter while I tried to practice for that night�s performance. Before I left I quickly stuck the letter on the doormat as usual with Madison watching through the peephole. She promised that she would keep watch until he read it and stuff. I might as well tell you how the letter went:
Dearest Riley,
I don�t know how to tell you this but I�m moving away. Don�t bother to find out who I am. Truthfully, I never lived at this apartment. I paid someone who lived here to deliver those notes for me. I don�t know when I�ll be returning but I�ll miss you terribly. I love you, it�s inconceivable but I do. Everything in life is very unexplainable. And here I go yammering on. Please forgive me for this, after all you don�t know me but leaving is making me miserable. It�s destined to happen though, one day we�ll meet and who knows.
Needless to say Madison gave me an earful when I came home that night.
"You are so evil!" she exclaimed just as I came in. "Do you want to know what he did?"
"I sort of guessed what happened, he made lots of mistakes tonight. I guess it affected him more that I thought."
"Guessed! Well, for one thing, he read it then he literally punched the wall. Luckily he didn�t break anything. I pretended I heard a loud noise and went out to see what had happened. He wouldn�t let me do a thing but put ice on it."
"So that�s why he had gloves on and made those mistakes. Now what am I supposed to do? I feel so guilty. My head was so close to the piano that Kyle gave me weird looks and asked if I needed glasses or something. I had to lie and say I was trying a Glenn Gould approach to my playing."
"At least you still have a conscience, you�re going to go over there and tell him. NOW!"
"No, I can�t, he�d kill me. I�ve acted like his friend all this time and frankly this would..."
"Stop thinking like that Desi. You had mental scars, which with the right treatment would�ve been tamed but his are physical. What happens if he doesn�t do anything about his hand? He could let it swell and suffer in pain. You�ve gone far enough."
"Fine, I�ll go. Give me some ice too."
With ice in tow I headed across the hall. He let me in after a long while.
"Madison told me what happened, I thought I�d come over here and see your hand."
"It�s fine, don�t worry about it," he said hastily.
I yanked off his glove; his hand was severely swollen. "You call that okay, it�s swollen up like a balloon." I led him over to his couch and made him sit down. I put the pack of ice I had on it.
"Thanks," he muttered leaning against a cushion.
"Look, about those letters," I started slowly.
"What do you know about those letters? Are you the one she told to deliver them? You have to tell me, Desi." He was all flustered and excited. Damn, what have I done?
"Not exactly. Um..." I hesitated. "I wrote them."
"What! Why would you write them? You don�t like me do you?"
"You say that with so much contempt. No, I don�t like you! I wrote them in jest, to get you back for all the pain you caused me. Burying the hatchet to become friends was just an act so that you wouldn�t suspect that I had written them! If I ever did like you, I would kill myself; you seem to think my liking you is so embarrassing!" I yelled in anger at his response.
His face was building up with anger. "I guess you play the game of deception well. If you must know, I thought it was real, everything. Think me a sick person with no life! Call me stupid! Whatever! Revenge must be sweet then Desdemona. You got your wish; you�ve made me feel like a fool!" he fired back.
By then I had calmed down, guilt was replacing anger but he didn�t look like he was going to listen to anything or anybody. I left quietly hoping nothing else would happen. I had enough already for one night. It wasn�t any easier the next day when everyone on our floor gave me weird looks. So being on the culprit�s side wasn�t all to glamourous as I thought it would�ve been.
February 8, Meg and Desi Talk
"Desi, good you�re early. We have to talk, I know you don�t like what I�m going to say but last night was uncalled for. You have to clear it up or else both you and Riley have to leave. I can�t afford to have anything go wrong."
"I understand but..."
"No buts, come on, you were pulling a silly prank. Sheesh, you couldn�t have done something less harming. You know, sliming him or something, a pie in the face. Destruction to the mind is beyond human."
"Well he started it first," I replied indignantly. "He did it to me ten years ago. I was only giving him what he deserved."
"Cut that angel of mercy crap. Revenge is revenge. So he succumbed to his male instincts down there. That lousy whore got her revenge. Get over it!"
"How did you know about Trudi Bergkamp and what happened at the Masquerade Waltz?" I asked slowly recovering from her little lecture there.
"He confided in me one day. What can I say you young kids love mother figures! The matter however, forgive, forget, move on. If you had fun in Paris means you got over it. Upon seeing him, you just let yourself feel mad but were you really mad?"
February 14, St. Valentine�s Day, Love isn�t everything in the air.
Anticipation hangs in the air. I haven�t attempted anything in the matter of reconciliation. He isn�t exactly being all too kind. That�s understandable however, I know how it feels to have that feeling. Though on my side, everything is horrendous. I�ve had bombardments of guilt daily causing endless insomnia. Tonight however I plan to clear the air. Truthfully too.
"So you�re sure everything is all set. He�s agreed to sneak Teresa in and go with you two."
"Yes oh angel of mercy. Despite being given a break by Kyle he�s willing to go for Teresa�s sake."
"Good but I might as well look for a place to camp out until I find somewhere to live."
Madison gave me a smile and sent me on my way. I�m glad the Papillon has a Valentine�s special, a karaoke type thing. More like amateur�s night in a sense but I hope it all works.
"Welcome ladies and gents, ladies and ladies, or gents and gents. Whatever your preference may be. Here tonight at the Papillon we have our annual special treat. Those of you who are regulars have seen our lovely performers but now, we want you to come up here and show off your voice. Who knows, maybe it�ll get you famous. Anyway, don�t be shy and enjoy the show."
I grabbed the microphone back stage and went for it. "I�m sorry," I started and here I went. "I want to apologize right here in front of everyone to Riley Butler. I only did everything because of what he did ten years ago; he deceived me. I thought it was my right to do the same back to him. Until, it went out of hand. I�m not begging for forgiveness but I�m apologizing so that he knows I�m truly sorry. Deceit was never easy to stomach and now I know that being the one who deceives isn�t that enjoyable either."
There I had done it. I headed out on stage with the others and we started warming up for anyone else who would want to sing that night. There were no signs of Riley anywhere. I looked endlessly while playing but he had left. I tried to act all cheery for Valentine�s Day but it wasn�t fruitful. Seeing Teresa enjoy herself kept my mind occupied for a while.
When the night finished neither Madison nor Teresa had any idea as to where Riley had gone. All they could tell me was that he said he would be back in 10 minutes. I guess he really couldn�t forgive then, I feel more horrible than before. That night I left by the stage door to go meet Teresa and Madison at the ice cream shop down the street. I found a card taped to the door addressed to me. It had the following written on it:
I LOVE YOU, I�VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU, AND I WANT YOU. PLEASE BE MINE!
"Sorry," I muttered. I continued on frustrated. By the time I reached the ice cream shop I was all red and bothered.
"What�s wrong Desi?" asked Teresa taking a break from licking her cone.
"This," I said and handed her the card. "It�s freaking me out. This must be payback for being so nasty to Riley."
"Come on Desi, don�t be so hard on yourself. You apologized, it�s up to him to forgive you or not. For all we know he could�ve done this to spite you," suggested Madison. "Eat, then worry."
When we got back the first thing I did was go over to his apartment. Nobody answered the door though. I decided I would stay outside his door to wait, I had to know. Where the hell is he anyway?
"Good morning, Sleepy," I heard a voice address me the next morning.
"What?"
"It�s time you woke up." I recognized the voice; it was his.
I literally jumped up and gave him a look. "What am I doing here? Where the hell were you?"
"I didn�t think you cared," he replied nonchalantly.
"What! I apologized; I made myself look like a fool! What else do you want me to do?"
I sat down in a huff adjusting the blanket he had laid on me. He wasn�t looking so hot himself. There was a bandage on his hand and he looked like he could use some painkillers. That darned guilty feeling washed over me again.
"Why don�t you just calm down and listen to me! I left last night because my hand started festering or something like that. Hence the bandage." He held up his hand.
"What about this?" I asked thrusting the card at him. "Is this your idea of payback?"
"No I didn�t do this. I meant for Teresa and Madison to leave you something for me but I didn�t get it, just as I was buying it, my hand started festering. This card is their doing, not mine."
"Huh?" I was thoroughly confused as to this whole thing.
"Here," he handed me another card. "This is what I meant to give you. I had a nurse write it for me."
Desi,
Sorry for all that�s happened. Let�s start again. I forgive you. Forget Trudi and the Masquerade Waltz. We�ll be two strangers who�ve never met before. Meet me at the Papillon tomorrow if you�re willing to forgive me.
He smiled back, one of those dazzling smiles. "Okay then dinner it is. Where do you want to eat?"
THE END
