She was a self-appointed klutz, though sometimes it was publicly confirmed. Such was life for her because of her klutziness, which prevented her from doing the one thing she loved; dancing. She was neither graceful nor light on her feet. A bit hefty in physical appearance and lacking the self-confidence to truly not care if she appeared like a lunatic.
She worked up the nerve one time but only because a temptation led her to it. A prize was to be given to the best dance. She let herself go and the result was painful and full of laughter and mocking. Look at her, what a sight! You call that dancing! She never attempted to dance again save if she was alone. She�d prance and sway, but upon nearing a mirror, the sight of herself was repulsive and hideous. Her memory was always brought back to those times of humiliation, of people laughing and imitating her awkward movements.
As a child, innocence dominated and she believed that wishing and praying would make her wish come true. She whispered every night, �Please can I dance well. I only want to dance like everybody else does. I don�t have to be a ballerina or Fred Astaire. I just want to dance�� Every morning as soon as she woke up, she put on music, and attempted to dance. Slowly and surely, she gave it her all. Her efforts were fruitless; she could not conquer the fear that had built up in her through all the humiliation.
As she grew up, she steered clear of dances. She used the same excuses that one always seemed to use in situations to get out of Phys. Ed. There was the constant, I�m too sick and I hurt my ankle. Her favourite was it�s that time of the month and my cramps are bothering me. That got to people all the time. The unfortunate fact was that periods only came once a month.
Summer had arrived, she was about twenty, and was working though the summer away from all those awful memories. The one place she thought she could get away from dancing was her cousin�s grocery store in the small town of Hill, north of the city she spent most of her life in. Hill was definitely on the small scale, a town where almost everybody knew each other. She was comfortable and at ease immediately.
�Slow day?� a masculine voice asked her. The day was unusually cold for July and the store was virtually empty, save for the employees. She turned around and saw Matthias, he worked across the street at the restaurant. Angeldust was one of the three restaurants to serve remotely foreign food in Hill.
�I can sense the cobwebs forming,� she replied.
�You don�t want to be over there,� he pointed across the street. �Kay is so bored she�s filling up bottles with water and playing songs with them.�
She laughed heartily. The bells on her bracelet jingled as her body shook with laughter. �What are you doing over here?� she asked recovering.
�Well�� he seemed to stretch the word out, �I came over to make sure you�re alive. I was thinking, hmm, Samantha is bored to pieces over there. She needs company and I should be that company.� He smiled broadly.
�Aw, that�s sweet. You have some lettuce in your teeth, Matthias. How do you propose to be of company then?�
He blushed and ran his tongue over his teeth to remove the wretched lettuce. �Now if you will come out beside me. Stand right here,� he pointed to the spot.
She was weary but she acquiesced. She was that bored and would do almost anything. He surveyed her for a couple of minutes from all angles.
�Very good,� he finally said. �Okay, now I know what we should do. I�ll be right back and you,� he paused, �get nice and relaxed. When I�m done with you, you�ll be the happiest girl in Hill. I guarantee it.�
Samantha was dumbfounded and completely clueless as to what he wanted to do. Matthias seemed like the kind of person who talked big and would be able to accomplish whatever he talked about. Her willingness and curiosity disappeared and suspicion set in.
She questioned him, �Why should I listen to you?�
�You don�t have to if you don�t want. I just thought you�d like to do this. Your cousin tells me all the time that you�re obsessed with��
She didn�t let him finish. She knew exactly what he was going to say. Her momentary joy turned to fury. Every humiliation that haunted her flooded back and she snapped. She ripped off her apron and ran from the store. When she stopped, she panted and her legs burned. It infuriated her more when she looked up and saw the dance studio. A class was going on and the combination of everything made her want to scream. She sat on the ground silently staring into space. She didn�t notice the person come up behind her.
�You know, you�re very quick when you�re mad.�
�Get lost Matthias!� she grumbled.
�Cute too,� he tried again to calm her.
She ignored him and just lied down on the ground. She didn�t care if she got dirty. She focused on the clouds in the sky. Not knowing what to do he followed her and did the same.
�Call me daft or whatever, but why are you so obsessed with dancing if you refuse to; or in my case run out on me in mad hysteria.�
�You wouldn�t understand. Have you ever been publicly humiliated?�
�Rhetorical or do you expect an actual answer?�
�You don�t have to share if you don�t want to.�
Suddenly it started raining but Samantha made no move to get up. The rain seemed to wash away what she felt.
�If I tell you, will you get up?� Matthias was squirming as the ground got more uncomfortable with the rain.
�Fine,� she answered, �only because I�m hungry.�
�I was around twelve and my voice was starting to change. I finally got a solo in the church choir and I was psyched. When the time came on that Sunday, I opened my mouth and no matter what I tried, I couldn�t sing it. I croaked like a frog and squeaked like a mouse. My brothers imitated me forever after that day. My grandparents were furious and everyone in church laughed that day. They tried to cheer me up but it only made me feel worse.�
Samantha nodded her head. She knew the feeling but to a more painful degree. �I was twelve too and it was at a school dance. They were giving out prizes for the best dances and such. I wanted it, I wanted it bad and so I tried. I danced, I let myself go and in the end I was awarded with roaring laughter and humiliation. I looked like an idiot and the whole school knew it. There were other occasions but this one was the most vivid. Do you know what it�s like to want to do something so bad but not be able to do it?�
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Then she got up and brushed the dirt off herself. Matthias got up too and followed her.
�Come on,� he said taking her hand, �let�s go eat. I�ll cook.�
�When you said cook, I thought we�d be over at Angeldust, I didn�t think we�d be at the back of the grocery store warming up chicken nuggets in a microwave,� commented Samantha checking on their wet outer clothes.
�The secret to cooking is not where you cook your food, it�s how. Chicken nuggets can be as nice as any exotic dish. Keep your eyes closed.�
She kept one hand on her eyes and with the other she turned on the stereo. It was this oldies station and the song Daydream Believer by the Monkees was playing.
�I love this song,� she sighed. �I remember prancing around to it when I was young.�
Her impulses led her to get up and prance down the frozen food aisle as she once did as a child. She didn�t even notice Matthias standing in front of her with the plate of chicken nuggets.
�You�re not bad,� he interrupted her in mid-prance.
She stopped abruptly with shock all over her face. �You weren�t supposed to see that. I�m sure you�re disgusted now.�
�Oh will you stop that! Come here,� he asked setting down the plate. �It�s time you learned and I�m just the person to teach you.�
He held out his arms. �And why would you be that person?� she asked taking up his offer, going towards him.
�I took dance lessons in secret for ten years. My mother signed me up for it to unleash my hyper energy. I was embarrassed and never told anyone. She could�ve chosen anything but dancing,� he said spinning her around. They twirled around some more and Samantha found herself actually dancing. She felt exhilarated, she loved the feeling that she had never had before.
�See, you�re a natural,� Matthias said encouragingly.
She smiled and closed her eyes to soak in everything again. �I couldn�t be more happier Matthias, thank you. I�m actually dancing, I can�t believe it.�
He smiled his broad smile. �Nothing to it. Ready for a dip?�
Matthias and Samantha continued dancing on despite the fact that the song had stopped. The news report came on but they didn�t notice it. When they did stop, they ate that forgotten plate of chicken nuggets.