TITLE: Sober thoughts
AUTHOR: Rainie
EMAIL: [email protected]
DISCLAIMER: Joss, not I.
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask first
CATEGORY: D
RATING: PG
PART: 1/1
Sober Thoughts
Angelus...
Spike...
They both left me.
For her. The slayer.
Why?
I know, I'm different.
Different, apart of the fangs.
I am what he made me - period.
Daddy's wicked girl. His toy.
The human me never wanted to be wicked.
And the demoness? She sure is a case of her own.
She scares me. So I rather stay out of her way.
She's evil. Passionately evil. And she sure is a nutcase.
My daddy hated her the moment he regained his soul.
Not that he cared much about her before. About neither of us.
I loved him so much. Still do.
And funniest thing, so does the demoness.
Why?
Why leave me?
Leave us?
It still hurts.
Spike?
He never really mattered.
He loved me. Dearly.
For a while.
He's sweet.
Sensitive.
And capable of love.
Not that I wanted him back, but...
First daddy. Now him.
Lost them both.
To her.
The slayer.
Why her?
Oh, I surely know.
It's not that I'm blind.
She's pretty and gentle and pure.
All the things I've once been myself.
The character traits he hated - even killed me for
Not that it matters.
Not anylonger.
It happened a long time ago.
A lot has changed since then.
We all have changed.
Me.
Angelus.
Spike.
The slayer.
Most her.
Got over her daddy-obsession.
Moved on.
I never reached that state. I never matured that much.
They are in love now. My Spike and the slayer.
Even Angelus for once seems at peace with himself.
What about me? Why doesn't anybody care about me?
They don't deserve it.
They do not deserve to be happy.
Not Spike and definitely not Angelus.
It annoys me to no end.
They should suffer. Just as I suffer.
And I'll personally will see for it.
Me - not the demoness.
I'm sorry for her.
The slayer.
-end-