Riley Jokes

Riley fears bees.
When his mommy saw him killing one, she told him that every being on earth, created of god, has a right to live.
To show him that the bees won´t sting him, she tied him up naked on a tree near a beehive for 24 hours.
When she came back the text day, sweat run down Riley´s body.
She asked him what happened, if a bee stinged him.
He answered: "No, but has the calf over there no mother?"

How do you get Riley´s brain to pea size?
- Blow it up!

Why has Riley 5 bones more in his body than everybody else?
- His brain works mechanically.

Riley goes to the zoo and sees an hedgehog. Suddenly he shouts in admiration:
"Look! They even have walking cactus."

What happens if Riley erroneously swallows a fly?
- Suddenly there´s a brain in Riley´s body.

Riley and Forrest want to measure the height of a flagpole.
Riley climbs arduously up.
Forrest: "We should have fold it down, this would have been easier to measure it."
Riley: "Idiot! We need to know the height and not the lenght!"

Kate/Riley steps angrily on a snail and kills it.
Her/His partner asks her/him why she/he did it.
Kate/Riley: "This obtrusive thing follows me already the whole day."

Riley´s ex girlfriend is on the beach with her friend.
The friend asks her why she has bruises around her belly button.
Riley´s ex: "Riley is a brain blonde,ya know."

What´s red an knocks on the pane?
- Riley in the oven.

What´s ugly and turns red if you push a button?
- Riley in a mixer.

If my dog would be as ugly as Riley, I would shave his buttock and teach him to walk backwards.

Sent by Sired Passion