TITLE: Nothing's Free
AUTHOR: Rainie
EMAIL: [email protected]
DISCLAIMER: Joss, not I.
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask first
CATEGORY: B/S
RATING: PG
PART: 1/2
Nothing's Free 2
"they are dead - either."
Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds.
Just about long enough for her to make sure he'd comprehend and understood.
She should have told him ages ago.
If only she hadn't been all that afraid of his wrath.
Afraid he'd demand her to leave.
Afraid him to hate her even more.
Spike - he was all that was left of her former life.
Having betrayed her family and friends…
…she wasn't too sure whether she could bear him rejecting her, too.
After all, he was the only reason for her to go on.
The only reason for her to keep going.
Taking one day at a time, though.
But keeping her go nonetheless.
"You hear me?"
Her sightless eyes drilled into the TV.
+What if he gets mad?+
+What if he tells me to go?+
+What if…?+
Her mind was a single throng of muddled wild thoughts.
Playing on her wildest fears.
She couldn't, wouldn't, and didn't want to be all along.
Not again.
She needed him.
Needed him badly.
Probably needed him more than she'd ever needed Angel.
Even if he hated her and barely managed to conceal his disgust.
He was all she had got.
The only family she had left.
+They are dead. Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!+
Hot tears started to build up behind her eyes.
+Dead… and all because of me…+
+All because I wanted to know what it was like to have sex…+
"Buffy!"
He must have called her name a couple of times already judging from the petulant strain in his voice.
When after another few seconds Buffy finally decided to look up, she still wasn't too sure what to expect or to do.
"Oh will you come over her already!" Spike barked at the hesitant slayer - only to add, with an oddly wry grimace, an almost inaudible, "Please."
The girl eventually did as requested, dropping heavily next to the rigid cold figure.
Gathering all her wits she forced herself to meet his unwavering gaze.
"They are dead," she repeated her original statement, tears pouring down her beautiful face.
"C'me here, waterworks!"
His soft but unyielding grip forced her down on the mattress.
All of a sudden she felt calm.
Her initial fears vanished for good.
"It's alright, sweetum, I guess my sub-conscience already figured that out by myself."
She nodded, tentatively, not trusting her voice.
It didn't take long for her tired burnt out mind to let go.
And with Spike quietly caressing her back the tiny slayer almost immediately fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
***
+Right. What am I gonna do with you now?+
Spike let out a troubled sigh by the sight of the sound asleep girl trustingly curled up by his side.
+Dead. Angelus. Drusilla.+
Much to his surprise the news hadn't affected him as much as he'd expected it would.
He hadn't lied to the slayer about knowing about the two of them dead either.
However, with Buffy confirming his thoughts, the missing pieces all of a sudden seemed to fall into place.
The slayer's atypical behavior.
His lack of memory.
The vast emptiness.
All of a sudden he felt every one of his one hundred and sixty odd years.
"oh Buffy…"
He looked her over again and again.
"What am I supposed to do with you, girl?"
He sighed again, when he felt his body react to her nearness and warmth.
It never failed to surprise him how little it took to get him all worked up and hot.
He'd never been with a mortal.
Back in his days things had been different about sex.
And later on - it just hadn't felt right to fuck the banquet.
Carefully as though not to wake her, Spike brought up her tiny warm hand.
He almost hesitantly admired the delicate fingers before he sucked her thumb into his mouth.
Extending his fangs just long enough to pierce the soft skin the vampire, too, allowed himself to get comfy - the slayer's rich life essence surrounding, soothing him.
***
"Ouch!"
The moment she opened her eyes, Buffy felt a sharp sting in her right hand.
One quick look gave her a pretty good idea about what was wrong.
His hand still locked around her wrist, Spike was holding her hand to his lips.
His razor-sharp canines barely breaking her skin, just enough to draw blood from a tiny twin-punctured wounds at her thumb.
Ignoring the pain Buffy snuggled back in his chest.
She just didn't have the heart to wake him up.
For once he looked all peaceful, so contempt and at ease.
"You're awake?"
She gave a quick start, when Spike all of a sudden chose to speak up.
"Hm…," she mumbled against his cool skin, knowing perfectly well he could tell anyway. "You're alright?"
She angled her head to meet his blue eyes.
"Hm."
Just as she'd done before he simply gave her a nod.
They looked at one another.
Almost as though they'd never met.
Buffy couldn't but marvel about his handsome pale features.
His prominent cheekbones.
His pouty full lips.
The girl nearly drowned in the depths of his cobalt blue orbs.
Every now an again a faint hint of yellow would flush up, reminding her about Spike still drawing blood.
"Spike…?"
There were so many things she wanted to ask.
So many things she needed to know.
His injuries.
Their future.
Once again she felt tears building up.
"I wish I could tell you, barbie girl."
He answered the question he read in her eyes.
"We've gone to far to just say 'let's pretend we just met'," he tentatively smiled at the slayer. "How about going it a shot - taking it step by step?"
"Yeah," she replied with an equally tentative smile. "That will do - one step at a time."
***
+Roller Boy?+
+Slayer?+
+What the fuck?!?+
Cursing a blue streak, the solemn dark figure swiftly retreated from the set ajar balcony door.
+++end+++