TITLE: Alive
AUTHOR: Rainie
EMAIL: [email protected]
DISCLAIMER: Joss, not I.
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask first
CATEGORY: B/S
RATING: NC-17
PART: 1/1
Alive
"Buffy!"
With a raw sob I shed myself into her.
I never intended to rape her - and I honestly hope she feels the difference, somehow.
Maybe I shouldn't have gone to her, my mortal enemy. It's just that she always makes me feel alive. And feeling alive is exactly what I need after that dreadful weeks. I still don't know what this soldier boys did to me. Although, I've got a pretty good idea… 'cuz if there is one thing I had to learn the hard way it is they made pretty darn sure to take away my bite. I'm so vulnerable, so very vulnerable and weak.
"Buffy?" I whisper again, exhaustedly lying on top of her.
She doesn't reply, though, but I can feel the hot tears oozing down her face.
I bury my head in her breasts. And it isn't until she starts wiggling I realize that I've got tears running down my cheeks, too. Although deep inside of her, I don't feel the need for hot passionate sex.
I just quietly hold on to her, soaking our skin with my tears.
Can't she sense, something is wrong?
That right now I really, really need her?
I feel so worn out - tortured and prodded and physically abused.
**Slayer, please,** I silently beg, **just for today pretend not to care.**
"Spike?"
A sharp jolt shakes our bodies and I instinctively know the shackles holding her down do no longer exist.
"Spike?"
I ready myself for the stake to come out of nowhere.
**Yeah, why not. Let's put an end to it, slayer. 'cuz you haven't got the slightest idea how much it hurts.**
The impact never comes, instead a tiny warm hand makes its way up my back. Her arms lock around me, and one hand comes to a rest on my cheek.
"What is it, Spike?" She asks, holding me fast.
I manage to hold back for exactly one minute, then literally crawling inside the girl, I start sobbing my heart out. I shakily try to explain the things they have done to me. And although I doubt she actually understands what I'm saying, she instinctively knows I've been really, really hurt.
"C'mon, Spike," she pulls me up til we almost lay nose to nose.
She hasn't yet commented on me being inside of her. And I am infinitely grateful for that, 'cuz I wouldn't know how to explain it to her - explain it to myself. I need to feel the connection between the two of us which has always been there. I need her warmth and her strength and her power, to feel I am still alive.
She somehow seems to understand that, and just silently cradles me to her.
I feel some of my wits coming back and feel the urge to justify somewhat.
"That's a temporarily truce," I glare, "By the morrow it's all gonna be over!"
I feel a soft kiss being placed to my forehead.
"You just relax," she says, "and by the morrow we'll see for this soldiers."
Our eyes lock and I drown in their depths.
We might be enemies by choice or by nature, but I guess that's never really stopped us from liking one another. She's mine to toy with, to annoy and to torture, just as my gorgeous butt will always be hers and just hers.
I breath out a sigh of relief, when I feel her arm tighten around me.
"Let's get some sleep." She says, tussling my hair.
I give her a goofy smile, which makes her nose crinkle.
"Sleep!" She insists.
And when I finally comply, she leans into my space and whispers, "Don't worry, Spike, for tonight you're gonna be save here."
My lips curl up and for the first time within weeks I dare to relax.
"Thank you," I mouth, knowing she's sincere.
For tonight I'll be save.
Alive.
Here.
With her.
-end-