Yah, don't really have a good title for this rant. So its about everything.
My life sure has taken some strange turns as of late. Not even sure where or when it all started. But it's finally catching up to me.
Not sleeping much, is a bad thing. And then having to work 6-7 hours is even worse. All the time pretending to be fine, just to get a little cash for my pockets.
Even worse is pretending to my friends and family I am ok. I even pretend to my boyfriend, that all is well, in my life.
I don't even know where I am going with all of this. My mind is on so many things. I went to stop by my friend Chris' house today, and almost side swipped someone. I just wasn't paying attention. So I am sitting at my dad's house, because I am afraid to drive right now.
I am gonna have to call into work too. Operating heavy machinery, and handling knives at work, is not a good idea for what I should do today.
Sleep would be nice. But I can't sleep. Don't want to sleep. I have to much to think about to sleep.
Boy this is the most borning rant ever. Not that I have many up. I have a lot of stories to put up, but just don't feel like typing that right now. I feel like rambling on about nothing, just as I am doing now.
I have been trying to figure out what my purpose to being on this earth is. I see no point in being here.
I will not find a cure for cancer, I will not stop sufferage, I will not bring world peace. I want to be a photographer, in a little town, in nowhere, and thats it. I will bring pictures to people who want to see them. Nothing big. Don't see how that will help change anything.
Sure I am a wiccan. And I love nature, and the earth. I wish I could do more. But all I can do is capture nature in its true beauty, and hope that someday, one of my pictures will been seen by someone. Someone who can really make a difference.
And that person will show other people. And then all of mankind will soon realize that we do not own this earth. It is not a toy, or a house or anything. I feel we are lucky to be here. It really pisses me off to see what humans have done to this earth.
They have to pollute it, and destroy it, every second of there pointless, useless lives. Its not fair. Mother Earth, is in fact that. Our mother, she is the mother of everything. And how do we pay respect to her? But dumping trash on her, and polluting her nice water. Cutting down her beatuiful trees.
Oh, but you say "What about Earth day?", yah ok. We do have earth day. Now I am not exactly sure what everyone does for earth day. I do know that some people plant a tree. Others help clean a park, or a beach. BIG DEAL! One day out of 365 days, does someone try to do good.
Earth was fine, until humans showed up.
Wait, let me rephrase that. Earth was fine, with animals, and cavemen, and native americans. But once wars started, and homes needed to be built in large quantities, and factories, and businesses, and McDonald's, and roads, and high ways, and casinos, and whore houses, and hotels, and airports, and amusement parks, and retirement homes, and animal shelters, everything went to hell.
What ever happened to aniamls being free, and being allowed to reproduce and not have to worry about a signle thing. All they needed to do was use their natural instinctes to survive.
Now, we get pets. And some of us take "precautions" to prevent over breeding of the aniamls. And then their are the ones who let their animals be free, and have their offspring. And their offspring are doomed to die, no matter what. They either run out infront of a car, get picked up by animal control, taken to the pound and put to sleep, or, those who really have no right to "own" a pet at all, throw them in a river, or something.
If you don't want puppies or kitties, be responsible. Although I don't agree with denying any living thing the right to have offspring. Yes some people breed their dogs, or cats, so there is no need to worry about them becoming extinct. But, its weird to me.
Humans are supposidly this superior breed of living creature, more cleaver than any other thing. Well then prove it to me, cuz I am skeptical.
You never hear of a dog getting aids, or getting layed off of work, or anything.
If humans ar so smart, then why does it seem that everytime we try to do something good, we fail. Because we don't have the sources to do it. If you believe in something, anything, a greater power of whatever size, name, anything, then hear this. God, Budda, The Horned God, whatever you believe in, has punished us.
All the diseases that we have, all the things we can't control, punishment. "Acts of God," such as flash floods, hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, punishment.
Punishment for what you ask? Well look up, and read again. For everything we have ever done. We have destroyed what was made for us. We were given the chance to be the "superior beings," and we failed, miserably.
We built all those luxeries, to make our lives easier, happier, (and yes I fall victim to a house, a car, a computer, but I'll explain that in a min) and what do you we get in return? Centuries of torture, death, anguish. Because we did not do, what we were supposed to do. Our reason for being here, is not to destroy what we have. We should make it better than it has ever been.
Now, why does someone who has said all this, also contribute? Well its simple.
This earth, this planet, kingdom, whatever is based on one thing, and one thing alone. Money. Thats right, say it with me MONEY. My self and a friend got into a discussion about this last night while I was at him house.
And I couldn't agree with him more.
You can not live without money. You don't have food you don't eat, you don't have shelter, nothing. You can't even love someone without having money. You say you can love, and not have money. Well lets see you get married to your love, for free. What a buy one get one free deal? You friends get married, and you and your love can marry for free? Haha. No way. Hell you need a license by the government, saying they allow you to get married.
Yah it wasn't always like this though. I know that, and I will be the first to admit it. Star Trek, they don't need money. Everyone is fine and dandy. Go about their business.
I think the world should be one big marketplace. No more wars. Look what wars are fought over, land, property, religion, etc. Just have each country have some things to provide. Or in the U.S.'s case, each state. Michigan, known for FORD and stuff, could provide transportation, in return for produce from Flordia. Florida needs something, other people make it. Just everyone trade. Make fair trades, no money needed. Give a little, take a little.
But alas, it will never happen. Mankind is to stubborn to admit when they have been wrong. (Well most of them anyway). Peace will never be found on this planet. Or any planet we may live on centuries from now.
I am done ranting now. I think this is to long already. I am surprised that much came out of my mouth, cuz I couldn't even drive let alone think about anything well enough to type.
I would just like to make it clear, that when I said "mankind" and "humans" yes their are exceptions, to everything I have said. I know that. But for lack of time, it was easier that way. I hope nobody took offense to this. This is just what I feel. And for those of you, who feel I have accused you wrongly, because you do help, then may the god and goddess watch over you for many more years. We need more people on this planet like you.
Be excellent to each other, (sorry got Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure in my head), and hopefully something good will come out of all of this.
Blessed be,
Jenn
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