Standing back here, behind the stage that took forever to get ready, waiting for the show that took a lifetime to develop, I can hear you. I can hear you all. And I�m not sure how many of you there are, but it sounds like a million. More. I feel like I can hear each and every one of you screaming my name. I feel like�when someone stops to take a breath, that little spark of energy that it created in me is gone � and then she starts again, and it�s even stronger than before. My heart is thumping. My hands are shaking and sweaty, and I�m bound by the same enthusiasm that inspired me to do this in the first place.

Visualize. That�s what we used to do when we had to focus, but we were too pumped to even sit still. So now, even with so much adrenaline flowing through my veins, I stand perfectly still, and close my eyes. Prayers have been said; it�s just about time to greet you all. And yet somehow I block out the sound of my future, and concentrate solely on being me. For one second, in all of this madness, I feel warm and content, and I know that this performance is like my re-birth; I know that this show promises my destiny and I will only be complete once I am out there, giving myself to you.

Someone once asked me if I did all this for the money, and back then, I probably had to think about my answer. It got really bad for a while there; it seems like so long ago, but it really wasn�t. We all wanted out, but didn�t want to give up so easily. We didn�t feel like we could let everyone down. And we didn�t. I�m proud that we stood our ground. I�m amazed that we�ve come so far. But right now, right in this very instant, I know that I�m not doing this for the money. I�m doing this for you, I�m doing this for the chance to effect you the way I have. And I want to continue to share my life with you all.

Some people don�t understand my motives. They insist that I was corrupted as a child, and that I�m greedy and selfish and that I�m no better than the people out there who take all this for granted. But truly, I am only the person that I�ve learned how to be. I am he who loves his family over all else, and cherishes his friends deep in his heart. I am he who is passionate about the things I have accomplished. I am the man who created a life for himself out of nothing. I am the man who cared so deeply that I let the woman I love go, because I couldn�t stand to watch her fall in love with someone else. I am the man who would do anything to gain your approval.

I am very weak in this moment, standing completely still, vulnerable to my surroundings. I am being pushed to the stage entrance � it�s just about time. But I�m still wrapped up in my thoughts. I can�t stop thinking about the others; where they are, what they�re doing, when I�ll see them again. I wonder if they�ll get the paper tomorrow and read the review of my first show. I wonder if they�ll clip the page, and pin it on the bulletin board. I wonder if they�ll call me and leave me messages on my voice mail while I�m out there � words of encouragement, since they couldn�t be here in person.

So here I go. I�m in my �show clothes,� I�ve got my microphone in my hand, and I�m ready to show you all who I really am. I�m ready to bare my soul, because that�s what this business is all about. I am prepared to feel your energy course through me like blood. I could not be more ready for this then I am at this very moment. The music cues up, and your chants get louder and louder as I approach my mark. This is my life, and I�m ready to live it.

I once heard someone say, �When it comes to dreams, I am a millionaire.� I didn�t understand it then, but I do now. Because this is my dream, my eternity � and you are my millions.

[end]

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