The day Holly was born changed our lives. Not that our lives weren�t already hectic enough as it was, but Holly just seemed to make them more worthwhile. We hadn�t really decided to have children, so you could say that having her was an accident, but I don�t like to call her that because it makes it sound negative. I can�t even think of life without her now; she is so much apart of our lives that I feel as though I�d be empty without her. The first moment that the nurse put her in my arms, and James peered at her little mouth, little hands, little everything; I knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

The pregnancy wasn�t so bad. I didn�t get really sick, but I had mad cravings for the craziest stuff. I kept going to yoga even though I couldn�t do some of the stuff because I was so huge. Holly was the hugest baby. Except back then, we didn�t know whether it would be a boy or a girl. I had been praying for a girl, and I think James had been too. When I finally took leave from my job as an administrative advisor, I relished in the fact that people waited on me hand and foot. Because I was so big, everyone thought that I should stay sitting and relax. Which was good at first, but I got to be a little stir-crazy after awhile. My mom came over every day, and made me breakfast just like when I was a little girl, and we talked about the baby, and what she or he would be like, and what I was like as a baby, what my sister was like as a baby. Mom would leave around lunchtime, and that�s when James would call from his business job, asking me how I was that day. I would let him go when my friend Ana came over. We�d have lunch, and then watch the soaps together. My sister usually dropped by after school was out; Maria was a gym teacher at the elementary school where we grew up and loved to think of the sporty little baby I was going to have. James would get home from work, and everyone else would leave, and he�d make me dinner, and then we�d sit on the sofa together, watching the television, or else him reading the newspaper, me reading a new novel or sometimes even writing in a journal. Sometimes, closer to the date, James and I would pour over baby names, trying to decide whether to stick within the family, or pick something original. We finally decided on either Holly or Jules.

We didn�t feel like it was right to pick the baby�s birthday, so we picked numbers out of a hat. I was to be induced into labour on the 16th of January, and I was scared out of my mind. James was going to be there, and my mom was going to be there, and everyone else was going to be waiting outside with bated breath. Ana threw me a baby shower, and everyone I knew was there; all of James� friends, all of my friends, people I hadn�t seen in ages came. It was so nice to see everyone all in one place. We were the first of all our friends to be having a baby, and everyone was equally excited for us. James was worried he wouldn�t be a good enough father, and I was just nervous period. But eventually, we picked up on everyone else�s excitement and I finally relaxed.

The labour went smoothly; the doctor said I was a textbook delivery. Holly was born at 8:57am on January 16th, 1998, and the minute James took her into his arms I started to cry. When I was a teenager, I had planned out what I wanted my kids to do; they were going to dance or play sports and take music lessons; James and I wanted her to have every chance that we didn�t get. I held her in my arms, and looked down at her, wondering how I could love someone more than I loved James. My mother held her then, and there were pictures snapped, and then she was whisked away to the nursery. James went with, talking excitedly with the nurse, and I could see fresh tears on his cheeks too. My mom stayed with me, holding my hand, and telling me how beautiful I was, and how beautiful my daughter was, and that�s when it hit me.

I had a daughter. I was a mother. I hugged my mom fiercely, and then the nurses were cleaning me up, saying I had to rest before I could see anyone. I fell asleep easily, with my mothers� hand in mine, and when I woke up a half hour later, she was still there, talking quietly with James. I spoke softly, and that�s when the people started to come in. If the hospital had a rule about how many people were allowed in a room at a time, they weren�t enforcing it. James� parents were there, my parents, my sister and his sister, Ana, Ashley, Josh, Joe, everyone. They all came in, cooing about how they�d seen James holding the baby up through the nursery window, and I smiled and squeezed his hand. A nurse came in, shooing everyone away, and then she brought in the baby.

We left the hospital with a healthy baby girl a few days later, and drove silently to our little townhouse. She didn�t sleep through the first night, which wasn�t much of a surprise to either of us. But she was pretty good about having a schedule, which James absolutely adored about her. You could count on her to be hungry at 2:00am, and to need to be changed at about 3:00. We took turns getting up, both sleeping fully clothed for the first time in as far back as I can remember. We both stayed home during the day, and when the time came, James asked if he could work from home so we could both be with Holly while she was growing so fast. He worked from his home office and I cleaned and cooked and took care of the baby. Then when I went back to work part time, he took care of her and worked.

Now Holly is four years old, and she is the epitome of Daddy�s Little Girl. She has him wrapped around her little finger. She�s got so many friends from pre-school that we can hardly keep up with them all; we can tell she�s going to be a socialite. And she loves to dance around to the stereo. Of course, James and I try to keep up with the latest trends in music, but once in awhile, we put on one of our favourite songs from when we were teenagers, and I think she likes that music better.

Ana had a daughter a year after Holly was born, and her and Skye are very close. My best friend and her husband moved into a house just down the street from us and we spend a lot of time having barbeque parties with the kids. Of course my parents and my in-laws come see Holly all the time, always bringing her new toys.

James and I talked about having another child, and even though I wanted to have one right after Holly, just like I had a sister 14 months younger than me, we decided to wait until Holly was a little bit older. Probably next year sometime we�ll get serious about it. I don�t know if I�d rather have a little boy this time. I know James wants one.

But for now, Holly James Bass is a handful. She talks a mile a minute, and smiles constantly, and is forever wanting to go out and play at the park with Skye. Next year she starts school and the excitement is growing with each passing day. She told her grandmother that she can�t wait to learn to read, and my mom reminded me that I was exactly the same way. She can�t wait to start taking music lessons either. She�s already telling me that she wants to be singing on the cd�s someday. She�s the cutest little girl in the neighbourhood, and James and I love her more with each passing minute.

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