I remember telling him that I was sleepy. And the next thing I know we�re pulling up to the hotel and Joey is shaking me gently, telling me that we�re there: �get up, we�re there, c�mon�. So I struggle to my feet and he�s there with his hands on my waist helping me walk to the elevator. I remember thinking that I never wanted to taste rum and coke again. I leaned against him � resting all my weight on him, counting on him to hold me up as I doze again in the elevator, my head on his shoulder. He pats down my hair and I sigh into his neck. I remember him smelling really good.

When I stumble to the door of my hotel room he�s right there behind me, helping me navigate the key-card. �That�s it,� he says, and I try to think how the alcohol didn�t faze him when I�m practically passed out. �I told you I wasn�t a fun drunk,� I slur and he chuckles and pulls back the sheets on the bed. �That was just your first time though, you�ll get used to it.� He pulled me to my feet and moved me towards the mattress, but I shook my head, and tried to mumble something about the bathroom, the toilet, because oh-my-god I was gonna hurl. It was then that he picked me up and I swallowed back the bile rising in my throat and prayed that I�d make it to the bathroom. He sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed my back as I crouched over the toilet re-tasting the drinks I�d had all night. He murmured comforting things, and I would have been happy just to fall asleep on the bathroom floor, but I guess he picked me up again and carried me to the bed. Because when I woke up, that�s where I was, and my shoes were off, and I was covered up and warm in the unfamiliar bed of the hotel.

And my head hurt like hell. And then I closed my eyes, and tried to fight off sleep because I knew I just had to get up and do things that day. But I must have slept more, because when my eyes opened again, there was the warmth of another body in the bed, and the curtains were open a crack, and I could hear voices in the other room � voices I hadn�t heard the first time I woke up. I tried to sit up, but there was a heaviness draped across my waist. I opened my eyes slowly this time, and relished in the fact that my head wasn�t pounding anymore. I tried weakly to move the arm that was wrapped around me, and when I couldn�t, I just rolled over and fully intended to wake the other person up. But when I saw that it was Joey, his forehead creaseless in sleep, and his mouth slightly open, breathing heavily, I just closed my eyes again, and hoped to sleep off the remainders of nausea that rode my stomach in waves.

I don�t know how much longer I slept in Joey�s arms. I could feel someone shaking me softly, and I opened my eyes and it was Chris, looking down at me worriedly, and I could hear him asking me if I was okay. But I couldn�t answer him; I just rubbed my eyes and my forehead and trudged to the bathroom. My tongue felt like someone had walked on it, and my mouth tasted even worse. I started the shower and let it run hot water while I brushed my teeth. The steam settled my stomach some more, and after I finished my shower, I wiped the steam from the mirror and looked at myself for the first time since we had left the hotel the night before. There were big hollows under my eyes, and my cheeks looked sunken in. I left the bathroom, and dressed quickly before going to Lance�s room. I felt pretty good for someone who had just died.

�You look trashed, yo.� Thank you Justin for that incredible observation. I murmured something polite rather than getting all worked up over nothing. Justin talked really big, but truth was, the first time the guys got him drunk he puked all over Chris. �Are you okay sweetheart?� JC, as always, the one showing the most concern. JC was a worrier.

�Fine, you know, considering I�ve left a lung in the toilet.� I smiled weakly. Justin started to laugh and I pointed at him. �Don�t you fucking start today, Mr-I�m-the-fucking-greatest-in-the-world-Diva.� I stumbled into the sofa and fell onto Lance who laughed under his breath and patted my back. �You know you�re only getting away with that because you�re hung over.�

�I wouldn�t have said it otherwise,� I looked up at him and smiled. Chris had tackled Justin to the ground and had him in a headlock. �Be nice to the hung over one!� He yelled until Justin caved and hollered an apology at me, in order to get Chris off him. Joey sat in the middle of the bed, a big cup of coffee in his hands, and I looked at it longingly as I sat on the couch with Lance, watching the conversation develop around me. They were talking about what they had to do that day, a radio interview, and then they could do whatever they wanted.

�No show tonight?� I said quietly, yawning as a snuggled into Lance�s side.

�No, not tonight, tomorrow, remember?� He was speaking softly, as though I was already asleep. He chuckled softly at me and turned his attention back to his friends. Although I was half asleep, I heard Joey say something, and then I felt his warm hands on my arms again, and I was being picked up. �Geez, Joe, you have a fireman complex or something?� I mumbled, half asleep, but it was loud enough for the whole room to hear it and they started to laugh. I smiled through clouded eyes, and Chris started teasing Joey about being Superman. That�s when I tuned out and just let him carry me back to my room, back to my warm bed. As he tucked the blankets around my shoulders, I opened my sleepy eyes and whispered, �Stay with me, just until I fall asleep.�

He did.

*

When they came back to see me after their radio gig, I was sitting at the desk in Lance�s room, reading the newspaper and nursing a cup of coffee. They came in and strew themselves about the room, flopping down onto beds and collapsing into chairs. �You�d think you guys just did a show,� I said to JC as he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

�They didn�t prepare security for us. So when we got there we had to go through 100 people just to get to the goddamned door.�

�And, of course,� Justin added, �We couldn�t just go straight through, we had to be friendly and sign autographs. On the way out too.�

�So I suppose you don�t really want to go out and do anything then do you?� I asked. I was aching to go outside and do something. Anything to get out of the dark confines of the hotel. Lance and Joey immediately perked up. �What�d you have in mind?�

�Well, I thought we could all get a bite to eat and then go to a show or something. You know. Experience the sober night life.� Tomorrow was too soon for another hang over. Chris groaned.

�Sober is no fun.� He flopped around on the bed until Justin kicked him. �We gotta go get drunk or something.�

�No thanks. I just slept mine all off. But if you really wanna go to a club, I�ll go with.� I wasn�t ready for another full bar experience just yet.

�Not a real club. Somewhere quiet. Where we can just sit and ��

�JC, you should just stay here and sleep.� Joey cut him off. �We all know you just want to lay down anyways.� JC threw a pillow at him.

�Well, decide what you want to do then. As long as I�m not sitting here all night watching crappy movies, I�m good with anything.� I sipped at my coffee.

After they tossed ideas around, and then argued about where to eat, Lance finally put his foot down and told them to make up their goddamned minds or we wouldn�t be going anywhere. So Joey leaned over to Lance and whispered something in his ear. And when Lance smiled deviously, a mix of dread and excitement started churning in my stomach. Lance in turn told all the others except me, and they agreed that it would be a good idea. �Go get dressed, girly.� Lance said as he stepped into his bathroom. �We�re goin� out on the town.�

*

I gathered from the outfits that the guys changed into that we were going somewhere fancy � Chris was the kind of person that only got dressed up for weddings or funerals, and he was wearing dress pants. So I made JC come help me pick out what to wear and when I put on the red dress that I had only worn once, he smiled and said it was perfect for where we were going. I quickly finished getting ready, and we all piled into two rental cars.

We pulled up in front of the German Club, and the anxiety that sat in my bones quickly turned to nervousness. Lance had apparently called ahead and made us reservations and asked them to clear out. But when we got there, they told him they didn�t care who he was, but they couldn�t just kick out paying customers, and that we�d just have to deal with it. His ears turned all red, but JC put his hand on his shoulder and told the host that we�d be fine. They took us to a table near the stage, where a throaty singer was spilling her soul. We ordered drinks, and then I looked at my friends.

�So, why did you bring me here?� I asked, not quite knowing if I wanted to hear the answer.

�Well,� Justin glanced around the table and leaned in across from me. �We know you sing, Megan.� I turned bright red and looked at the others. They all nodded.

�What we don�t get is why you�ve never sung for us.� Chris said. Lance was about to say something, but a man came up on the stage and started speaking.

�Welcome to the German Club, everyone. In case you haven�t noticed, it�s amateur night. If you wanna get up on the stage here and sing a spell, then just give our pianist fair notice on what your gunna do. Next up we�ve got a young man named Carl. Give it up for Carl, everyone!� We clapped politely, and I turned back to the table.

�You�re kidding me right?� This was bad. This was very bad.

�You, my dear, are going to sing tonight.� Joey smiled broadly at me.

�If I�m gunna get up there and sing in front of people, you better get me a drink.� I groaned and sat back in my chair, and let the music of the club wash over me as I wondered how I could get out of this.

*

After two glasses of white wine, and watching JC sing some jazz song I vaguely recognized, I finally felt like I could get up on the stage.

�But if I puke, it�s your fault,� I whispered to Lance as I got up to tell the pianist that I could play my own selection if that was okay with him. When I returned to the table, my friends all looked up at me expectantly. �Two more and then it�s me.�

�I�m so excited for this,� Justin said sipping at his drink.

�You�re excited to see me make a fool of myself?� I asked him, twisting my hands in my lap.

�You�ll be fine, I�m going right after you.� He winked at me, and started laughing at Chris who had apparently said something funny that I missed.

When it was my turn, I stood from the table and felt Lance�s hand on my arm. �You�ll be great.� Yeah right, I thought � he didn�t know I was playing too. Frank, the pianist from the club, gave up his seat at the piano just after he introduced me to the crowd. I sat down on the bench and put my fingers on the familiar keys before I adjusted the microphone and spoke.

�So, this is called, �I Love You�.� I leaned away from the microphone and cleared my throat before I began to play the opening notes of the song I knew so well.

�I have a smile, stretched from ear to ear, to see you walking down the road. We meet at the lights, I stare for a while, the world around us disappears. Just you and me, on the island of hope, a breath between us could be miles.� I paused for a second in the song to remember where I was, but then music kept going, my fingers kept moving, and instead of straining to see the audience � to gauge their reaction, I just closed my eyes and kept singing. �Let me surround you, my sea to your shore, let me be the calm you seek. Oh, and every time, I�m close to you, there�s too much I can�t say, and you just walk away. And I forgot, to tell you I love you, and the night�s too long, and cold here without you. I grieve in my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so.�

The solo piano part was next, but I don�t remember playing it. I just remember coming back in on the chorus.

�Oh, and every time, I�m close to you, there�s too much I can�t say, and you just walk away. And I forgot, to tell you I love you, and the night�s too long, and cold here without you. I grieve in my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so.� I finished the song with my eyes closed, and it startled me to hear the applause from the crowd. I stepped back from the piano and shakily made my way back to the table where Chris whooped and gave me a huge hug.

Justin shook his head at me. �Now how in hell am I supposed to follow that?� He stood up just as I sat down and took a big sip of my drink.

�You�re Justin Timberlake. You can do better than that,� I called after him as he made his way up the steps to the stage. I looked around the table where the remaining three guys were just staring at me. �Well you didn�t expect me to suck did you?�

�Megan, that was amazing.� JC�s mouth was open, and I laughed and pushed his jaw up.

�You�re letting flies in, JC.� I raised my eyebrows at Lance. �I was fine?�

�Hell, Megan, if I knew you could sing like that � hell, if I knew you could play like that, I would have signed you a long time ago.�

�I take it you liked it then?� I said smirking. I couldn�t even really remember what had happened up there � I had been too nervous, and then it was over and I just felt happy that I�d shown them.

Joey leaned over to whisper from his seat next to me. �He�s just jealous cause he can�t sing like that.� He ignored Lance�s comment and kept talking to me. �It was really good though. Why haven�t you ever sung for us before?�

�To tell you the truth, I never really thought I was that good. But if I�ve got Lance�s seal of approval, then I think I�m set for life.� I laughed. Our attention was turned to Justin who was on the stage singing a beautiful song that I didn�t recognize. I ordered another drink, and sat back to watch the people around me.

*

All the guys had taken their turns except Joey. Lance had sung a slow country song, and Chris had done a song with a made up dance and everything. He made everyone in the club laugh. Which is what he was going for I think. But when it finally came to be Joey�s turn, he couldn�t decide what to sing. The pianist had a binder full of songs that he could play and I sat with Joey while he flipped through them, trying to pick one. I must have pointed out dozens that he could have done easily, but he just kept filing through the pages, looking for a specific song. I finally gave up on him and turned my attention to Chris who was trying to discreetly pick up the waitress. I didn�t even notice Joey get up and go to the piano to give Frank the music for the song he picked. But when I heard the first chords of the song, I sucked a breath in and turned to the stage, waiting to hear him sing.

It was a slow jazz song that I identified as one I had played for him on one of my cd�s. Of course he took it a few octaves lower than I had ever heard it, but it still sounded incredible.

�At last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over, and life is like a song. At last, the skies above are blue; my heart was wrapped up in clover, the night I looked at you. I found a dream, that I could speak to, a dream that I could call my own. I found a thrill to press my cheek to, a thrill that I have never known. You smiled, and then the spell was cast. And here we are in heaven, for you are mine, at last. Oh, at last.�

The song was shorter than I remember, but Joey did it better than I had ever heard it before. When he stepped down off the stage, he greeted the applause with a big smile and came back to sit with me. JC and Justin had gone up to the stage to play on the piano for a while, Chris was talking with the waitress, and Lance was off schmoozing with someone he knew. �That was great.�

�Well, I know you like that song, so I figured �" He trailed off at the end of his sentence and looked down into his beer.

�You did it so well,� I said and pulled him into a hug. When I pulled away, he looked a little uncomfortable � as uncomfortable as I felt right at that moment, and I opened my mouth to break the silence, but he was just about to say something to me.

�Lance wasn�t joking when he said he�d sign you.�

�Yeah, but your guys� fame is enough for me. I don�t need any of my own.� I smiled at him. �Besides, I thought you like having �normal� friends.�

�Can I tell you a secret?� Joey leaned in and was whispering again.

�Hm?� I took another sip of my water.

�You could be more than my friend, I mean, if you wanted to � � He looked down again, and I choked on my mouthful of water. I wondered how much he�d had to drink.

�Joey,� I said, putting my hand on his, singing softly, �I forgot to tell you,� he looked up at me then, his eyes red, and I whispered the last line of the song, �I love you.�

[end]

[lyrics taken from I Love You - Sarah McLaughlan and At Last - Etta James]