your attention is not soft enough for me
not round enough
boring
you conceal weapons beneath your eyes
the metal detecting security device
I’ve hooked up to my heart
is blasting off ear piercing shreeks
at twenty-two second intervals
on a frequency only I can hear
and I am sadder than sad
to be unavailable to your smooth talk
my nails do not scratch on your smooth back
still I am cracked, I am so slack
my organs show beneath their rack
every day wake up to attack,
cellular alarm, working for a funny farm
chug chug chug along with your internal
combustion engine, I want forgiveness
for my bad oil deeds, for the things I did to deal
it’s never fair, the girls, the hair
if only I had never gone there
if only I had never done that
these thoughts flock in my mind like bats
sonar cats, wear hats, disguising feline revenge
human-make de animaux pretend
every month I pay the rent
I have a thumb I like to suck
yes, there are some places I remain stuck
in the muck
fluck, luck match my corrupt
with a coin of invention
a decimal intervention
this is what I pretend from
this is how I, how come
trade the possibility
of you with her, to you with me
and now I see, and
now I see
