Only Time

By Blaze

"Blaze! Are ya comin' or do I gotta sling ya over me shoulder and carry ya dere?"

"No! Dat ain't necessary. Just gimme a sec, will ya?" Blaze called towards the door.

"I gave ya a million seconds already! C'mon!" Bumlets whined.

Sighing, Blaze did her best to put on some sort of a smile and walked out of the girls' room, catching Bumlets right outside the door. "Okay, okay, let's go."

"'Bout time," he grinned and took her hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

"I didn't take all dat long. So where we goin' anyhow?" she asked impatiently.

"Not tellin'," he replied, sticking out his tongue.

"Now that was romantic." Rolling her eyes, Blaze started down the stairs.

"Wait up!" Bumlets called after her before he ran down the steps.

Inwardly Blaze was praying that Bumlets wouldn't take her out to eat, but she knew that since they hadn't eaten dinner yet, t was inevitable. Her stomach already felt as if it would empty its contents, but she couldn't even fathom what there was to empty, since she hadn't eaten since yesterday.

She reached the last creaky step and gasped as Bumlets slid his arms around her slim waist from behind.

"Caught ya," Bumlets whispered in her ear.

Doing her best to hold down a cough, Blaze nodded. "Yeah, ya did." She eased his arms from her waist and took his hand. "So, we going?"

"Yeah, alright," he answered, unsure of why all the sudden she was so eager to get going.

Tugging on his hand, Blaze pulled him out the door swiftly, wishing that the night air would prove to relax her more. Looking up at Bumlets, Blaze sighed. "Ain't ya gonna tell me where we're goin'?" Please let it be outside and something that doesn't involve food, running, or bars, anything else for dat matter dat will make me throw up.

Pouting, Bumlets shook his head. "If I tell you, den it won't very well be a surprise, will it?" he explained. "You'll find out as soon as we get dere, and not a minute sooner."

"Okay." Blaze turned her head to cough and sighed. Coughing was the first sign to losing whatever food remained in her stomach, and she didn't want Bumlets asking her questions, at least not yet. How da hell am I gonna tell him dis anyway? Her free hand nervously tugged at her faded blue shirt as Blaze silently wished for her stomach to behave.

They walked for nearly twenty minutes before Bumlets stopped them in front of a small restaurant several blocks from Central Park. "Alright, see, ya didn't have ta wait too long. Here we are," he smiled.

Inwardly Blaze was panicking. The place didn't look so horrid from the outside. It was a small Mexican restaurant, and Blaze figured Bumlets had taken her here because of his heritage, but she couldn't eat here. It would make her sick just going in the place. She could tolerate Tibby's, barely, and the Italian restaurant he took her to once or twice, but just the smell of whatever was cooking inside there made her stomach churn.

"Um, Bumlets? I, uh, really don't feel so hungry? What about yerself?"

Bumlets' face fell. "I'm starved. Listen to me stomach growl." Why didn't Blaze want to eat here?

"Oh, well, uh… what about da market? We could get some food dere and have ourselves a picnic in da park or somethin'. It ain't too late yet." She desperately searched for anything to get him to change his mind, praying that he didn't think it was because she didn't like the food or his idea to go there in the first place. "And da market is just up da street near Central Park too."

"I, um, well, if you really don't want to eat here," Bumlets answered, disappointed. He had found out about this restaurant from a friend, and was glad to finally have something to remind him of home, but apparently Blaze didn't want to share that with him.

"It's not dat I don't wanna eat here, Bumlets. I, just." Blaze stumbled over her words, trying to figure out how in the world to phrase this so he wouldn't be upset. "I just ain't hungry, and if we go to da market, den I can eat when I am and you can eat now."

Nodding, Bumlets tried to hide his disappointment. "Alright," he answered before taking her hand again.

The two made their way to the market, and while Bumlets was unhappily picking out something to eat, Blaze wandered around at the other side of the market, every few moments glancing over to see Bumlets and his unhappy face. You'd be even more unhappy if I told ya da truth.

She saw that he had made up his mind, and walked towards him. "Ready?" she smiled slightly, hoping he'd smile back.

"All set," he answered, his face far from a smile. "Is dat all ya gonna eat?" he asked and pointed towards her basket. All she had was some fruit.

Blaze nodded. "Yeah, dis will be enough."

Sighing, Bumlets took her basket and paid for the food.

At the park, they sat in silence; Bumlets eating slowly, and Blaze eyeing her food, but not quite bringing herself to consume it.

Bumlets was nearly done when he finally spoke up. "Still not hungry?"

Blaze shook her head. "Nah, guess not. I can save it for tomorrow."

This wasn't like her, and he knew it. Putting the rest of his meal back in the basket, Bumlets crawled towards Blaze, who was leaning against a tree. He slumped next to her and pulled her into a strong embrace.

"Ain't ya ever gonna tell me what's wrong?"

 

Blaze buried her face in the crook of his neck, her long, dirty blonde waves aiding to hide her face. Lying to him and looking him right in the eye wouldn't work and she knew it. "Nothin's wrong. I must be comin' down wid somethin', dat's all."

 

"Well, den I want ya to get some rest tomorrow, okay?"

 

"Okay." Blaze breathed a sigh of relief. At least the matter seemed to be solved for now, and she could dodge it for a little longer.

 

"Why don't we take da rest of dis home, and when ya feel like eatin', I'll bring it to ya."

 

Hardly noticing that she had pulled him into a tight hug, Blaze looked up into his eyes and smiled. "I like dat idea." As long as you ain't mad at me.

 

Bumlets picked up the remnants of their trip to the market and tucked the leftovers safely in the basket before taking Blaze's hand to help her up. "Den let me walk ya home."

 

"I s'pose I can let ya do that," Blaze smirked and reached up to kiss his cheek. Silently Blaze was congratulating her stomach for cooperating so far. If she could just make it home without spewing any contents, then Bumlets wouldn't have anything to worry about for now.

 

Squeezing her hand, Bumlets started the trail back to the lodging house. He held Blaze close to himself, aware of their late departure back home, and protective of her, knowing the streets could be vicious this time of night.

 

Blaze could feel him doing his little protective act for her and smiled to herself. She was angry for not telling him what was wrong already, but just as he was protecting her now, she wanted to do the same for him by hiding the truth until she could handle telling him and handle his reaction.

 

They walked home in peace, Blaze finally placing her head on his shoulder as the lodging house neared. Inside most of the Newsies were already retiring for the night, and Bumlets walked Blaze to the girls' room first. He pulled her into a tight hug just outside of the door.

 

"Ya gonna rest tomorrow, kay? And I'll come see ya before I go out sellin'," he explained softly.

 

Nodding, Blaze relished one of the only smiles she saw on his face that night and welcomed his deep kiss.

 

"Night," he whispered in her ear, reluctant to go to his own bunk. "Love ya."

 

"G'night handsome." She wanted to tell him then, but the words wouldn't come out.

 

The door to the girls' room opened abruptly, and Blaze was pulled inside by Slinks and Firecracker. "Enough you two," Slinks scolded. "Leave some for tomorrow and go ta bed."

 

Rolling his eyes, Bumlets watched them close the door with devilish grins on their faces before he headed for his own bunk.

 

****

 

The next morning Blaze was awake before the other girls. She found un-welcomed solace in one of the stalls, as her stomach decided it was that time again. Leaning against the wall, Blaze sighed. How long can I hide dis from him anyway? Hanging her head, she walked back towards her bunk, and stopped when she saw a figure sitting on her bed. Crap, how long has he been sitting dere?

 

"Hey," Bumlets whispered once Blaze was near. "Everythin' alright?"

 

Blaze nodded. "Yeah, fine." She smiled slightly and sat beside him.

 

"I figured it would be bettah ta come in here before everyone was up, so I could make sure ya was alright widout da goils beatin' me wid dere boots ta get out." He reached out and stroked her cheek. "Ya look kinda pale. Ya sure yer alright?"

 

"Oh yeah, I'm great, just tired," Blaze answered and did her best to yawn.

 

"Alright den. Well, you lie down and rest some, and I'll come check on ya foist thing when I get back from sellin'. Deal?"

 

"Deal," she answered and yawned quickly when Bumlets tried to lean in for a kiss. Her mouth still felt rather gross after her morning journey to the stall, despite a pit stop at the sink to wash up. "Oh man, I must be real tired," she said quickly and slid under her covers.

 

Bumlets sighed inwardly. Now she was shying away from his affection even. He slid off the bunk and pulled Blaze's blanket up, tucking her in tightly. "Get some sleep," he whispered and despite her previous actions, leaned in to kiss her cheek.

 

Blaze didn't turn from him, and closed her eyes as he reached her cheek. I wish I could just spit it out and tell 'im right now.

 

Running a hand through her hair, Bumlets smiled. "See ya later."

 

"Okay, see ya." She watched Bumlets leave the girls' room, glad he wasn't accosted by any angry girls with shoes on the way out.

 

****

 

Blaze looked out the door to the girls' room. No one was around. She checked the stalls as well. It was lunchtime, and although she figured most everyone would be at Tibby's, she had to make sure.

 

Satisfied, Blaze stood in front of the sole full-length mirror the girls had and took a deep breath. Heaving a sigh, Blaze looked at her figure. Standing at 5'7", Blaze was taller than over half of the other girls at the lodging house, and while she wasn't the slimmest of the bunch, she didn't want nor care to be. Her athletic build helped out much more when Bumlets was chasing after his hat, and that satisfied her more than being the 'equivalent of a stick', as Bumlets called some of the other girls. But what would happen when her trim stomach started stretching? Would Bumlets even still be attracted to her when she was huge? Her fear of rejection merely escalated with every thought.

 

"Bumlets, I need to tell ya somethin'. I'm, we're, I mean, I'm pregnant…" She shook her head. "Dat won't work."

 

Standing up taller, Blaze cleared her throat. "Bumlets, we need to talk. Um, now I know, dis is gonna be a shock, but, well, I kinda found out I'm carryin' a kid. Yer kid, I mean." Blaze sighed. "Okay dat was dumb."

 

Pushing her curly hair behind her ears, Blaze tried again. "Bumlets, I wanna explain why I've been so weird lately. I know dis ain't expected, but I'm… pregnant."

 

"You're what?!" Sorrow exclaimed.

 

Blaze whipped around to see Sorrow standing in the doorway with her mouth open. "Sorrow! Whatcha doin' here?"

 

"Standin' here in shock, what's it look like?" Sorrow answered and advanced towards her. "Now ya mind tellin' me what's goin' on?"

 

Swallowing hard, Blaze hung her head and walked over to sit on her bunk. She looked up once Sorrow sat down beside her.

 

"Ya gotta promise not ta tell anyone, 'specially not Bumlets."

 

"Alright, I promise, now spill," Sorrow agreed.

 

Sighing, Blaze looked down at the floor again. "Well, Bumlets, he's, um, me foist. And, about a month and a half ago, we finally fessed up about lovin' each other, and one night we went further."

 

"He didn't make ya, did he?" Sorrow interrupted, concerned. Most men she encountered were scum.

 

Blaze shook her head. "No, not at all. He kept tellin' me dat we could wait, but I was alright wid it. So, when I was late, I got a little worried, and finally I went to find out if I was, and… I am," she sighed.

 

"Oh lord." Sorrow gently put her arm around Blaze's shoulder. She remembered the pregnancy she went through and how the boy she was with then, Klutzy, had taken off almost the second he found out.

 

"I don't want to tell anyone, and I'm afraid to tell Bumlets," Blaze mumbled, hardly able to hold back tears now.

 

"Shh, it'll be alright," Sorrow comforted, inwardly knowing it wouldn't be. "You don't have to tell Bumlets right now. Ya can hide it for a couple more weeks, and ya got options, ya know. You don't have to keep it. And it's your decision, and yours alone." Lord knows if he's anything like Klutzy, he won't stick around long.

 

"How can I hide it? I throw up all the time, and he wonders why I won't eat much, or go out to eat wid him. I think he's startin' ta get mad at me."

 

"Just tell him ya have da flu. It's like da same symptoms at least. Dat will explain da throwin' up and bein' tired too," Sorrow offered.

 

"Alright, I'll do that," she answered and rubbed the tears from her eyes.

 

"But you shouldn't stop eatin'. Find stuff ya can stomach, even if it means throwin' it up later. You'll make yerself sicker if ya don't." Sorrow hugged her gently and smiled. "And now ya should take a nap. Ya don't have to explain anythin' while sleepin'. Make sure to get plenty of rest."

 

"Okay, I will." Blaze lay back on her bunk and took the blanket from Sorrow once she pulled it up.

 

"And ya can always tell me anythin'. I promise not ta say a word, but ya shouldn't keep dis in." I wish I hadn't. Smiling sadly, Sorrow left the room.

 

****

 

"Blaze? Ya up yet?" Bumlets whispered once he was next to her bed. He lightly ran his hand through her hair and sighed. She was still sound asleep. It was only five in the afternoon, but from what he heard from Sorrow, she had been sleeping since one and he had no clue if she had slept the morning away as well. It wasn't like her to nap for so long. After the coughing yesterday and this, he was even more worried.

 

The other girls in the room didn't seem to notice him, and Bumlets just didn't want to leave Blaze right now. He saw Luna and Slinks talking in a corner, and Sorrow was in another, reading. Slick and Mayhem appeared to be plotting something, and he rather wished not to eavesdrop on that.

 

Sitting gently on Blaze's bunk, Bumlets slid into the little space she had left open and slipped his arms around Blaze, smiling as she curled in towards him.

 

Bumlets felt a yawn creep out of his own body, and closed his eyes, deciding a short nap wouldn't hurt. By the time he was sleeping peacefully, Blaze was waking up and was quite surprised to see she was in his arms.

 

Looking up, her groggy blue eyes made sure Bumlets was sound asleep before Blaze pulled herself closer to him, burying her head in his chest. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Lying to him wasn't something Blaze could handle much longer, but what if he left her? What if he couldn't deal with the truth and ran off? What if he hated her for getting pregnant? Though deep down she knew telling him as soon as she found out was the right thing to do, Blaze was too scared to do so.

 

She relished the feeling of his arms around her. Not since she had left home had she ever felt so safe. Bumlets was the only one to know her past and he had also confided his own to her. Right now Blaze didn't want to find out what life was like without those strong arms to hide in when things were going wrong and that drove her to keep quiet about his child. Klutzy was a great guy, and he ran off once Sorrow told him da truth. Bumlets is so wonderful, what if he does the same though?

 

Her eyes welling up with tears, Blaze held back any sobs, not wanting to wake Bumlets up or explain to him why she was crying.

 

****

Having fallen back asleep, Blaze awoke to the sounds of the rambunctious girls in the room, chattering over the day. Bumlets was already awake and softly stroking through Blaze's blonde hair.

 

"Hey there," he whispered, smiling. "How do ya feel?"

 

"Okay," Blaze mumbled, still half asleep.

 

"Look, she finally woke up," Firecracker teased. "And here we thought Bumlets was gonna have to pour water on ya."

 

Blaze rolled her eyes at Fire and buried her head back into Bumlets' chest.

 

A girl with black hair and piercing green eyes strolled over and whipped the suspenders from her back pocket, tapping them on the bed. "Oh no, its past his bedtime. And da rest of us have important gossip ta discuss, widout any ears belongin' ta men in da room."

 

"Jeez, Snitchberries, ya really know how ta make a guy feel welcome," Bumlets teased and pulled Blaze closer, kissing her cheek. "Well, I guess…" He stopped and looked up as he was surrounded by girls.

 

Sighing, Bumlets frowned. "Can I at least say goodbye here?"

 

Crossing her arms, Snitchberries pretended to debate the question. "What do ya think goils? Or should we just grab him by his pants and throw him out?" she snickered.

 

Whiskey sneered. "Now, I vote for da second of dose two."

 

"Aw, give 'em a minute or we'll be here all night debatin' and we'll never get ta hear what Whiskey did ta Skittery tanight," Luna voiced while fiddling with her slingshot.

 

The girls gave Whiskey an inquiring look as she just shrugged with a grin, and slowly they congregated on the other side of the room, eagerly waiting for Bumlets to hurry with his goodbye.

 

Bumlets waited for them to be out of earshot before he looked back down at Blaze. "Ya gonna be alright wid dese hooligans if I leave ya now?" he smiled. Slowly he traced his fingers over the scar on her chin. Though small as it was, he always would absentmindedly trail over its short length, reminded of how she had earned it. It wasn't one of her most elegant moments, but they both clearly remembered the day Blaze had smacked her chin right into a tree while taking off with his hat the first time. And although she earned a physical reminder, she stubbornly continued to steal it as often as possible.

 

Blaze nodded, though she wasn't ready for him to leave, they didn't have much choice with lights out approaching rapidly. "I'll be fine. Go ta bed."

 

Stroking her cheek, Bumlets kissed her softly. "Sweet dreams, includin' me a coise," he grinned and hugged her before sliding out of bed.

 

Yeah, of you and yer kid, she thought, wishing for once that idea would only bring her a smile, instead of the feeling of rejection she felt she would get once she told him the truth. "I will, but I'll be stealin' yer hat," she teased, doing her best to smile.

 

Involuntarily Bumlets reached for the cap in his back pocket. "Don't even dream dat," he ordered, pretending as if was going to tickle her.

 

Blaze pulled the covers over her head, hiding the squeal as best she could. "Okay, okay. Go ta bed!" came a muffled reply.

 

As the other girls were watching, Bumlets complied. "Alright, but no dreamin' of me hat!" he called before exiting the room, bumping into Hart on his way.

 

"Oops, sorry," Bumlets apologized, but then realized that Hart was too busy watching Jake wave goodbye to her for the night. Chuckling, he dashed past her hoping not to interrupt their last moments before bedtime.

 

"Hart!" Smalls called. "You are just in time ta hear da juicy details," she grinned.

 

"'Bout what?" Hart laughed, her head still partly in the clouds after her date.

 

"Whiskey!" Amanda called, giggling.

 

Rolling her eyes, Whiskey hung her head. "Luna, for Christ sakes, ya just had ta mention dis, didn't ya!"

 

The girls gathered around Whiskey who was doing her best to look perturbed about the whole thing.

 

"Ya know ya wanna tell us already, Whiskey," Cats stated, her southern accent quite prominent at this time of night.

 

Sighing, Whiskey folded her arms. "Alright, you'll all get yer bedtime story. So, Skits and me decided ta go to dis bar down da street a ways…"

 

"Look out, I know dis means trouble," Sorrow quipped as she glanced up from the book she was immersed in.

 

"Anyhow," Whiskey continued. "We went to dis bar, and Skits was wantin' ta try out da liquor I always tell him about, and well, tease him about 'cause I think it's too damn strong for him to handle."

 

"How did I know dis was gonna include liquor," Mayhem rolled her eyes and pulled Slick with her to another corner of the room. They'd both rather pass up story time tonight.

 

Frowning, Whiskey shrugged. "What's a good story widout a drink or two? So I gave him a drink, and Skits made da most hilarious face. I teased him so hard dat he just had ta drink more, just ta show me he could do it."

 

"Dat still don't explain why Skittery came home wid a bruised face," Slinks pointed out.

 

"Ah, right, dat part," Whiskey snickered. "Skits had one too many tanight, and da bartender came up ta ask if he could get us another round. Skits thought he was hittin' on me and he started to get up to 'protect' me or somethin', and as he got up, he stumbled over da stool, and fell, hittin' his head on da bar on da way down."

 

The bunkroom erupting in laughter and giggles, while Whiskey shook her head and smiled slightly at the thought of her drunken man.

 

"Next time you have to take us so we can watch," Snitchberries laughed.

 

"Yeah, I'll charge admission," Whiskey added.

 

"Pay ta see Skittery make a fool out of himself. Sounds like a plan," Slingshot grinned while she practiced shooting imaginary marbles with her slingshot at a spot on the wall.

 

Once their laughter calmed down, the girls slowly made their way to bed, most thinking of a good way of hinting to Skittery that they knew about his little endeavor tonight.

 

****

The next afternoon Blaze found Sorrow sitting out back on the porch. "Sorrow?"

 

"Hey dere, Blaze. How ya feelin'?" Sorrow asked, smiling.

 

"Eh, alright. Could I ask ya somethin'?" Slowly Blaze sat beside her on the steps.

 

"Sure, what is it?"

 

"Could ya tell me 'bout Klutzy?" Blaze asked quietly.

 

Sighing, Sorrow nodded solemnly. "I loved him very much, and I thought he loved me in return. I wound up in the same situation you're in, but I didn't hide my pregnancy from him when I found out. Turns out that I should have," she frowned.

 

"He just took off?" Blaze inquired, slightly afraid to upset Sorrow, but feeling she really didn't have anyone else to turn to right now.

 

"Yeah, I told him, and his eyes went wide. He couldn't believe it. He stuttered dat he wasn't ready ta be a parent, and dat it couldn't be true. He was scared ta death. I yelled at him dat he was ready ta sleep wid me, and love me, but he couldn't accept da consequences. At dat point, he just shook his head and left. I never saw him again."

 

"I'm, I'm real sorry," Blaze whispered, scared that this would happen to her.

 

"It's okay. I didn't need him. I had my child alone, and gave him up to an adoption agency da week he was born. He deserved better den me, and turns out he got it. I heard he was adopted by a nice family, and dat's all I ever wanted for him," she explained.

 

Blaze hugged her friend, sorry this had to happen to her, and deathly afraid that it might happen with Bumlets.

 

"Klutzy was a great man, but even da great ones have deir faults, and dis was his. I just wish I had some way of knowin' dis would happen. I don't trust men no more. And ya should be real careful too. Don't go believin' da man of yer dreams is just gonna pop out and take care of you. Ya gotta stick up for yourself, okay? You're just as strong, Blaze. Just remember dat. If ya gotta do this on your own, den you will, and ya got friends dat will help you." Smiling sadly, Sorrow hugged Blaze once more before letting go.

 

"Thanks, Sorrow. I've just got some more thinkin' ta do before I make up me mind about tellin' him. Thanks for talkin' wid me," Blaze smiled and stood up. This made her even more reluctant to tell him. What was she going to do?

 

****

 

Weeks passed, and Blaze knew Bumlets would eventually find out just by looking at her if she didn't speak up soon. She had done her best to not get very intimate with him, either using a cough as an excuse, or that she was just too tired to stay up on the roof with him for long and cuddle. She knew he was visibly hurt that Blaze didn't let him near her much anymore, but she didn't want to take any chance that he would find out about her condition.

 

While the boys were immersed in a poker game one night, Blaze found Sorrow and dragged her off to a corner.

 

"What's wrong?" Sorrow asked.

 

"I'm startin' ta show. Now what do I do?" Blaze asked, her voice edged with panic. Ever since she noticed the slight change, Blaze had worn the largest shirt she owned and always kept it untucked. Still, she knew hiding this much longer would be impossible.

 

Sorrow sighed. "Well, I'm afraid yer choices are slim. Either ya tell him, or he finds out da hard way by lookin' at ya."

 

"I'm not ready to tell him." She glanced over to see Bumlets debating heavily over which card to discard in the game and frowned. She had to think of something fast.

 

"Will ya do me a favor? I'm gonna go ta bed. If I tell him, he'll wanna walk me up, and da less time he spends 'round me and dis stomach, da better. Just tell him I was tired alright? At least I can save dis for one more day."

 

"Of course I'll tell him," Sorrow smiled encouragingly. "Don't worry. He won't find out yet. We'll think of somethin' tomorrow morning."

 

Sighing with relief, Blaze nodded. "Thanks, Sorrow. Goodnight den."

 

"Night, and don't worry," Sorrow repeated. Klutzy might have walked out on her, but there was no way in hell that she was going to let history repeat itself. As long as she could help it, Bumlets wouldn't find out for quite some time.

 

"Hey Sorrow, ya gonna sit wid me for good luck?" Shelter asked as Sorrow took a seat beside him.

 

"I suppose I could give ya some luck, since from da looks of it, yer losin' miserably," she smirked, earning her chuckles from the other boys at the table.

 

"Aw, I ain't losin' dat bad," Shelter pouted.

 

Bumlets looked up to see Blaze not in the lobby anymore. He had noticed her talking to Sorrow, but after that it was his turn to bet, and the next time he looked up, she was gone.

 

Sorrow noticed Bumlets' confused expression after she poked Shelter's pout, and leaned towards him. "She went ta bed."

 

"Already?" he asked, surprised. It wasn't even eight yet.

 

"Yeah, she just felt tired and wanted to get as much sleep as she could tanight. She'll be fine in da morning," Sorrow explained.

 

Bumlets sighed. Blaze was too stubborn to see a doctor about being so tired, and despite his efforts to get her to go to one, she refused on countless occasions. Little did he know that there was another reason behind that refusal.

 

****

 

While the other girls were asleep, Blaze was wide awake. It had to be now or never. If she stayed one more day, Bumlets would find out, whether she told him or he just noticed that all the sudden her belly was starting to grow. She was too afraid to deal with the idea that Bumlets didn't want her once she had a child inside, and the only other option was to run away from it all, for now.

 

Quietly creeping out of bed, Blaze grabbed her clothes and went into the washroom, changing as fast as she could manage to. Brushing through her hair once, she returned to her bunk and gathered what small amount of possessions she had.

 

Once she stuffed a tattered knapsack full of her belongings, including the only other set of clothing she had, and gave the bunkroom and the slumbering girls one last long look.

 

Heaving a sigh, Blaze tiptoed out of the room, stopping when she heard one of the girls moving, but as they settled down again, Blaze disappeared into the hall.

 

Doing her best to keep the old, creaking stairs as quiet as possible, Blaze descended a level to where the boys' room was located. I couldn't just go in dere, could I? What if one of 'em is awake, or even, what if Bumlets is awake? She shook her head, choosing to start down the steps, but stopped again.

 

No, I can't just leave him widout at least seein' him once more. Hoping that they were all sound asleep, Blaze silently entered the room, immediately scrunching her nose. Do dey ever clean up in here? Besides the smell, Blaze was greeted with the sound of loud snoring, and figured they were all hopefully asleep.

 

She made her way towards Bumlets' bed on the end of the row and smiled sadly at the sight of him sleeping peacefully. Walking closer, she had to stifle a giggle, as he was sleeping with his hat carefully tucked in his arms, no doubt because of the numerous times it had been stolen.

 

Blaze leaned down to kiss his cheek, but stopped herself. If he woke up, he'd eventually notice her bag, and that would lead to a very long and complicated discussion. Frowning, Blaze kneeled beside his bed and watched him for a bit instead.

 

He lay on his side, his legs pulled up and the covers surrounding him tightly. Their room seemed to even have less heat than the girls' room, and she could tell he had shivered slightly at one point. Both arms were above the covers, holding his hat tight, and the hair he hated so much just dangled in front of his closed eyes.

 

I love dat hair, Blaze recalled telling him over and over. Ya don't need a hat. Usually that was the point at which he would whine that he did need his hat because his hair was atrocious, and Blaze would take off with it. Placing a hand over her belly, Blaze knew if she didn't leave soon, she would wind up crawling in to that bed with him and spilling the entire truth out.

 

Quietly, Blaze rose to her feet, feeling tears slowly trickling down her cheeks. I'm doin' this ta protect ya, Bumlets. So ya don't have to deal wid somethin' like dis. Yer still young. Ya shouldn't have to raise someone yet. It'll be better dis way. She tried her hardest to convince herself that, that was the real reason she was leaving.

 

 

Rubbing her cheeks with the back of her hand, Blaze gripped her knapsack in one shaky hand and backed away from his bed. "Love you," she whispered. Though when ya wake up, it won't seem like I do. Pushing that thought away, Blaze left the room, making her way down the remaining flight of stairs.

 

Before leaving, Blaze signed her name out and slipped out the front door, shivering once she was outside. Not looking back at the place she had grown to call home, Blaze made her way through the dark streets on a path to find a new place to live

Sorrow awoke to see the bunk beside her empty, and seemingly cleared of anything to claim it. Sighing, she knew this might eventually happen, but she couldn't stop Blaze from leaving, and perhaps it was for the best. At least this way she didn't run the risk of what might happen when Bumlets found out. Men just can't be trusted, period. Sorrow only wished Blaze had told her where she was going, but it seemed to be too late for that now. Please let her be alright.

 

Slowly the others awoke, each taking awhile to notice that Blaze's bed was empty, as most were far from morning people, despite the nature of their work.

 

"Aw Jesus now what?" Whiskey whined once she heard Slinks having a fit.

 

"Blaze is gone! Damn it girls, look!" she cried, disbelieving this was really happening.

 

"She probably just took off early wid her man or somethin'," Cats stated, yawning widely.

 

"Oh really? Den why is all her stuff gone?" Slinks countered and pointed to the fact that there really was nothing of Blaze's still there.

 

"Shit," Mayhem groaned. "Someone go check and see if Bumlets is still here."

 

"I'll go," Luna stated. Spot was staying the night anyhow, and it had been a long time since she had gotten the chance to watch that boy wake up in the morning, and poke fun at him, of course.

 

Stumbling over her feet, Luna made her way down the steps to the boys' room and knocked loudly. When no one answered after several minutes, she opened the door. "Girl in da room!" Luna shouted, and grinned at the reaction that brought.

 

"What da hell do ya want, Luna?!" Race cried as he slid on his shirt.

 

"Is Bumlets in here?"

 

"Ya mean ya didn't come here for me?" Spot whined and slung his arm over her shoulder. "Dat hoits, Luna, really."

 

"Can it, Mutt. Just tell me if he's here," she growled, doing her best not to stare at Spot's bare chest.

 

"I'm here, Luna," Bumlets called from the corner. "What's wrong?"

 

"Well if yer here, den where is Blaze?" she asked. "Did she stay wid ya last night?"

 

Bumlets shook his head. "No, I ain't seen her since last night in da goils' room." At this point Bumlets had walked over to where Luna was standing, his expression changing from one of sleepiness to one of panic.

 

"Her stuff is gone, and we… we don't know where she is," Luna sighed, frowning as she saw Bumlets' bewildered face.

 

"Gone? She's, she's just gone? No one heard her last night? No one saw her leave? How could dat happen!" he shouted, his body now fully awake.

 

"Maybe she's up on da roof, or downstairs, or outside on da porch, or…"

 

Luna cut him off. "Wid all her stuff? Her clothes are gone, and dere ain't nothin' left in her dresser," Luna explained and took Spot's hand for support. "Bumlets, she's gone."

 

Running a hand through his hair, Bumlets stared at the floor. "No, she's here. She's here somewhere." He darted back to his bunk and threw on his boots before charging out the window to look on the roof. He knew something was bothering her that she wouldn't readily talk about, but was it so bad that it drove her to leave him?

 

Climbing up the escape, Bumlets shivered in the cold morning air as he called out her name. When she didn't answer right away, he searched the roof, making sure to check all her favorite places. She wasn't up there. Den she's gotta be out on da porch, or in da lobby.

 

As the other Newsies prepared for the day, they heard Bumlets pounding down the stairs and calling Blaze's name every few minutes. He had searched both the front and back porches, the kitchen, and the lobby. There was no where else for her to be.

 

Frantically trying to tell himself she was here somewhere, Bumlets fell back on the couch, pulling his hair away from his face with both hands. She just took a walk, or went out ta get breakfast. She'll be back. Dere's no way she would just leave me like dis. She just forgot ta tell someone where she was going, she'll be back.

 

Quietly the boys and girls of the lodging house crept down the stairs. Usually they'd be bounding down to go off to work, but today was different. There in the lobby sat Bumlets, confused and lost. They couldn't run off to work today in the same manner, and they all planned to keep an eye out for Blaze during their hours calling out headlines.

 

Luna walked towards Bumlets before leaving and leaned over. "Maybe you should come ta work, and ya can keep an eye out for her. Maybe she went to da distribution center already." Though Luna didn't believe that if Blaze took her belongings with her as well.

 

"No, I can't leave here. She's coming back and I want ta be here when she does. If ya see her, just tell her ta come home, okay?" he asked, his voice struggling to stay calm.

 

"Alright," Luna agreed. "We'll all keep an eye out, and when we find her, we'll send her here right away." Patting his knee, Luna turned and walked out the front door with Spot, leaning her head on his shoulder once outside.

 

Spot kissed her forehead. "We're gonna find her, alright? Don't worry," he whispered and slid his arm around her waist.

 

Nodding, Luna walked with him to the distribution center, feeling quite helpless in the situation, and worried that they wouldn't be finding Blaze anytime soon.

 

****

 

The day passed with no sign of Blaze. She wasn't at Tibby's for lunch, and neither was Bumlets. He sat on that couch until the Newsies returned for the day, his face noticeably anxious for any news.

 

His face fell the second he saw the mood of the others. "She had ta be out dere somewhere, wasn't she?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper.

 

Hanging their heads, no one wanted to answer him. Luna stepped forward and took a seat besides him. "We looked all day, Bumlets. We went up ta Central Park, and ta Carnegie too. She wasn't dere. Did she say anythin' ta you yesterday?"

 

Bumlets shook his head. "No, she didn't say anythin' ta me." He glanced out of the corner of his eye to see the sympathetic looks on the Newsies' faces, and how the girls clung to their boyfriends.

 

"Thanks for looking," he mumbled and slid from the couch, pushing his way past the Newsies. Bumlets stormed out the door, leaving behind him a silent room. No one knew what to do now, and Bumlets didn't seem like he wanted anyone to talk to.

****

 

Early the next morning, Blaze was still stumbling through the cold streets of Manhattan. She had passed several lodging houses, and some boarding houses as well, but none seemed as inviting as Lower Manhattan, and Blaze knew she already missed home.

 

Finally, as the sun rose, Blaze found a lodging house she thought she might be comfortable at. On the East Side of Manhattan stood a building of three stories. It's outside was covered in a musty brown color, and the sign to the building slanted to one side because of a missing hook.

 

Slinging her bag over her right shoulder, Blaze timidly entered the building, the front door creaking to announce her presence. She was greeted by the odd looks of some of the lodgers and the kind face of the person in charge.

 

"Hello child," he greeted, his voice rough with age.

 

"I was wondering if ya might have any bunks open," Blaze questioned, uneasy with the other Newsies glancing her over. Instinctively Blaze put her arms over her belly while awaiting the answer of the gentleman.

 

"Sure, we have several open. Five cents a night, and curfew is ten o'clock sharp. After that the front door is locked, and you'll be lucky to find an open window. Fighting, take it outside. Gambling, smoking and drinking, lobby only. Keep the bunkrooms clean," he explained and nodded to one of the girls in the lobby.

 

"That there is Winter. Along with a boy you'll meet later named Tyrant, they're the ones that help run things around here. Sign in here, and I'll have Winter take ya up to the girls' room."

 

Blaze nodded and approached the desk. On closer inspection she was relieved to see that the man running things seemed rather kind. His expression was filled with wrinkles, but they appeared to be the product of years of smiling, or so Blaze hoped. She noticed he only wore spectacles when reading over something, as once she signed in, he pulled a worn pair from his vest pocket to inspect his books.

 

"By the way, my name is Mr. Williams. If you need anything, either Winter or I can help."

 

"Thank-you," Blaze smiled slightly. She glanced sideways to see one of the girls coming towards her and wasn't sure what to think.

 

"Name's Winter," the girl said plainly. She was three inches shorter than Blaze, at 5'4", but what she lacked in height, she made up in fire. Her hair in an array of braids, Winter was skinny, but Blaze could tell this girl was no wimp.

 

"I'm Blaze," she answered and gripped to her knapsack.

 

"I'll show ya around da joint." First she pointed to the lobby that consisted of a few tattered chairs and one horrendously beige couch. "Dere's yer basic lobby, complete wid lodgers. Most of 'em already went off ta sell, or actually ta spend some time wid deir guys before da gates open, and what we got left here are Cyanne, Giggles, Illusion, and Bitter."

 

As Winter introduced each girl, they nodded, or raised a hand before going back to a heated conversation.

 

"Now for da grand part of da tour, da bunkrooms," Winter grinned and started up the stairs.

 

On their way up to the second floor, they were passed in a hurry by a muscular Italian of about 5'8".

 

"Tyrant, look out will ya!" Winter shouted.

 

"Yeah, yeah," he called back and disappeared down the stairs.

 

"Dat is the other fearless leader of dis establishment. My recommendation, don't go ta him for anythin'. Males!" Winter shouted and shook her head.

 

Smiling a bit, Blaze followed Winter up the next flight of stairs to the girls' room.

 

"And here is where da goils do all their important stuff, like gossip, amongst other things," Winter snickered. "Dere's a couple open bunks down at da end near da window."

 

Blaze sighed. Being near a window meant an increased chance of a draft, and she wasn't sure that was the best for her child.

 

"What? Don't like fresh air?"

 

Blaze reached a protective hand to her belly without even noticing. "No, it's just…" Well, its not like dey're gonna tell Bumlets. "Wid da draft, I…"

 

Winter had a good idea what she was getting at. She had noticed Blaze holding her belly when she entered the lodging house, and here she was doing it again. "How far along are ya?" she asked, her green eyes only showing kindness and understanding.

 

Smiling sadly, Blaze placed her other hand on her belly. "A little over three months now."

 

"Den you're past most of da sick to your stomach part," Winter smiled. "Always a plus." She looked around the room for a bunk more suitable. "I know, ya can take dis one over here. It's away from da window, and close to da washroom, just in case, alright?"

 

"Thanks." She set her bag down on the bunk and looked around. It was kind of like Lower Manhattan, but the smell was different, and the noise of the streets below wasn't the same. I can't get homesick, not already.

 

"Well, c'mon," Winter announced. "Time ta go sellin', and I'll show ya where da distribution center is for us."

 

****

 

A week went by, and Bumlets looked worse than ever. By the day after Blaze left, he was back to selling, and that was the only thing he could find to take his mind of her, if only for a small amount of time. The Newsies noticed he was hardly eating, and moped around the lodging house after selling. He wouldn't go out with the boys anymore, and he certainly wasn't up for any poker games.

 

His new daily schedule consisted of grabbing a bite to eat before work, selling his papers, skipping Tibby's, and spending the rest of the day on the back porch or up on the roof.

 

No one knew what to do. Bumlets was never one to detach himself like this, and the only thing the Newsies thought would cheer him up was Blaze in his arms again. Each day they kept an eye out for her, and each day they came up empty-handed.

 

The guys felt guilty spending time with their girls when he was around. Jack and Slingshot used to spend time on the back porch, him setting up cans, and her knocking them down with her trusty slingshot, but they refused to do that if Bumlets was out there.

 

Hart and Jake made sure their dates ended on the front steps of the lodging house, instead of kissing each other goodnight by the bunkrooms.

 

Skittery and Whiskey would keep their drunken escapades as far away from the lodging house as possible. They still had their fun, but both made sure not to come home laughing in a drunken stupor if they could help it.

 

Race would still hold his nightly poker games in the hopes that one day Bumlets would join them again. Mayhem still sat by his side, but their affections only went as far as holding hands under the table, especially if Bumlets was walking by.

 

While Blink used to love to sit in the lobby with Amanda and just gaze at her while they spoke over any topic desired, he didn't feel it was right when Bumlets was sitting there, motionless. They often would go out instead, choosing to talk in the park, or while walking the city streets.

 

As Cats and Snoddy usually enjoyed the night air up on the roof before lights out, they couldn't bring themselves to go up there as often now that Bumlets had chosen the quiet place to mull over what he did.

 

Firecracker and Mush hadn't visited their special closet in over a week. Bumlets once chuckled at the thuds he would hear, but now the couple was afraid to drive him into further depression.

 

Smalls had met a wonderful man at the local theater, but refused to talk about him unless she was huddled in the girls' room late at night. She was falling for the boy, but she felt guilty about showing any signs of being in love during the day.

 

Snitchberries and Swifty tried to make things easier on Bumlets. They would invite him out to the places they knew he loved, but he always refused.

 

While Slinks and Specs used to chase each other around the bunkrooms, her usually holding his glasses, and him shouting that he was going to run into things and injure himself if she didn't give them back, they chose to take their athletic activities outside once the news of Blaze's disappearance sunk in.

 

Luna was spending more time in Brooklyn these days, close to Spot's side. It just didn't feel right to stay at Manhattan and have Spot visit her there. It almost felt like she was flaunting something Bumlets didn't have anymore.

 

At first Bumlets just felt empty and hurt. Somehow he had to be responsible for Blaze's disappearance. Somehow he had done something to drive her away from him. He must have if she was so reluctant to even say goodbye.

 

Then as the days turned into weeks, he felt anger, confusion, and abandonment. For days he pondered over what he could have possibly done to hurt Blaze, but Bumlets could never come up with a solid answer.

 

How could she have left him like this? He thought she loved him as much as he loved her. Was there someone else? Was he not good enough for her? He would sit up on the roof at night, scraping every part of his memory for something horrible he did to Blaze, and when he couldn't find something, he'd punch the chimney bricks in frustration. The boys would notice his bloodied knuckles, which Bumlets refused to treat properly, but what could they do? Finally Jack decided just to leave a cool cloth and a bandage near his bed, and was relieved to see Bumlets wearing the bandage the next day.

 

****

Selling papers on the East Side wasn't as easy for Blaze as it had been in Lower Manhattan, but Winter had shown her the best places to sell, and also the most gullible customers to sell to.

 

In the evenings she found herself sitting in one of the lobby's old chairs, staring out the window until it was time for lights out. Sometimes she would pay attention to the banter in the lobby, and she had figured out by ear what each girl sounded like, though she didn't know them by sight, except for Winter.

 

"Well, I wanna know where she came from," Bitter whispered to the others. She was about 5'5" tall with short blonde hair that was kept tucked neatly under a gray cap.

 

"So do I. Who wants ta go ask?" Illusion asked. She was an inch taller in height than Bitter, with chestnut hair that fell just past her shoulders.

 

"I will," Giggles pitched in. Standing up, she made her way over from the couch full of Newsies and lightly tapped Blaze on her shoulder.

 

"So, what's your story?" the short girl with light brown, shoulder-length hair asked.

 

Startled, Blaze shifted her eyes from the window to the ground. She wasn't quite ready to open up to a bunch of strangers.

 

"What, ya don't talk? Ya gotta have a story," Giggles prodded.

 

Blaze shrugged. The only story she thought about was how she had left behind her first love, and how she knew she had screwed up his life. "It's not really dat interesting."

 

"Oh, dat always means it must be real exciting. C'mon, dere must be some reason ya sit here every night."

 

"Giggles, enough already!" Winter snapped from the stairs. "Leave her be."

 

"Aw, come on Winter, we're just talkin," Giggles whined.

 

"Well, enough talk for one night."

 

Rolling her eyes, Giggles plopped back down on the couch next to LadyLuck.

 

Winter looked over to see Blaze curl herself up on the chair and stare out the window again. Shaking her head, she sat on the end of the couch.

 

"Hey, is Cyanne ready?" a boy called from the doorway.

 

"Well, look who we got here," Charity grinned from a chair in the lobby. Standing up, the green-eyed girl sauntered over to where the boy was standing. She made sure her walk accented her womanly curves, and gently ran a hand through her short blonde hair. "What's your name?"

 

"Does she ever give up?" Illusion commented. They all knew of Charity's ways with men.

 

Feeling himself stutter, the boy glanced towards the ground as he placed a hand through his short, light brown hair. "Name's Brian. I'm here ta pick up Cyanne."

 

"Well, Brian. Ain't ya even gonna ask me my name?" Charity pouted.

 

"No, he's not," Cyanne answered from the stairwell. Giving Charity a meaningful glare, Cyanne linked arms with Brian and whisked him outside.

 

"Dat'll teach ya, Char," LadyLuck laughed. "I ain't never seen Cyanne give ya such a look before."

 

Charity shrugged. "She's just upset because he was lookin', dat's all. I had nothin' ta do wid it," she smiled innocently and plopped back into a chair.

 

Shaking her head, Illusion looked up to see Camelot rushing down the stairs and grinned. "Well, while you all discuss why Charity acts like she does, I gots me a date." With that she stood up and strode over to the boy who was brushing his sandy blonde hair away from his eyes.

 

"Hey Illy, ready ta go?" he asked, taking her hand.

 

"Yes, let's go before Charity gets any more sinister ideas," she responded and stuck her tongue out at the other girl before leaving.

 

"Well, ain't dis just a fun bunch ta be around," Charity huffed.

 

"Aw, come on Char," Bitter spoke up. "We'll go have some fun down da street at Mike's." Taking the girl's arm, Bitter started to pull her towards the door.

 

"Be back by ten! I'm gonna lock dose windows!" Winter called. "And don't drink too much!"

 

"Yes mother!" the two called before exiting the room.

 

"Well, I believe we have boys ta find," Giggles stated.

 

Nodding, LadyLuck proceeded to follow Giggles up to the stairs to find Tyrant and Scribbles.

 

Blaze had tried not to listen to the others in the room, but she knew they were all going out to have fun with their boyfriends, while she sat in that ragged old chair, wishing she could be in the arms of Bumlets again. This week her baby had started to kick, and each time it did so, she was reminded of Bumlets. She didn't know that Winter was still in the room, and started to cry softly.

 

Winter didn't know anything about Blaze besides the fact that she was pregnant, and she wasn't quite sure how to go about consoling the girl. Pulling herself from the couch, Winter approached Blaze and gently put her hand on Blaze's shoulder. "Hey."

 

Startled, Blaze quickly wiped away her tears. "Hi," she answered without looking up.

 

"Ya gonna be alright?" Winter asked.

 

Blaze hesitated. She was far from alright, but did she lie or acknowledge the fact that she was hurting? Winter seemed to be a person Blaze could trust, but was it okay to open up to someone she hardly knew?

 

"I…" she started, but lost track of what she could possibly answer. Finally, Blaze shook her head and covered her face in her hands as she began to sob.

 

Winter knelt down by Blaze and stroked her arm. "Shh, its okay." She saw Blaze shake her head quickly and sighed. "C'mere." Taking Blaze's hands, Winter led her to the couch and helped her sit.

 

For over an hour Winter held Blaze while she cried. She didn't know what else to do but comfort Blaze in silence. It seemed wrong to make the upset girl talk. Perhaps all she needed now was someone to sit with her while she wept for awhile.

 

Wiping her tears, Blaze lifted her head from Winter's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

 

"Nonsense, don't even think dat," Winter stated. "Ya wanna talk about it?"

 

Blaze stared at the floor. "I just miss him," she mumbled. "But I can't go back, not now. I left him and dere ain't nothin' I can do ta fix what I did."

 

Winter knew better than to dig out an entire story from Blaze right now. "Things will get bettah, you'll see," she smiled comfortingly.

 

Blaze nodded and rested her head back on Winter's shoulder. No, they won't. I screwed 'em up, she thought sadly as she cried again.

 

****

 

"Winter! So I hear ya gots yerself a hot date taday," Bitter grinned.

 

"Yeah, so what if I do?" Winter shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide her excitement.

 

"So what's he look like?" Bitter continued.

 

"Stop bein' so nosy," Winter frowned.

 

"Well, I'll just wait for him ta show up den," Bitter snickered and sat in the lobby.

 

Rolling her eyes, Winter waited near the door. It was too cold for her to wait outside, and perhaps if she was at the door quick enough, she could push her date back outside just to annoy Bitter.

 

Blaze looked over her shoulder from the chair and sighed. It had been over a month since she left her boyfriend behind, and Winter had been a great friend, consoling her whenever she needed it. Blaze just wished she could be happy for Winter and her boy, but to see these girls near their boyfriends only filled Blaze with more sadness.

 

Hearing a faint knock at the door, Winter raced over and cracked it open. Smiling at the blonde-haired boy shivering outside, Winter went to grab her coat.

 

While she was doing that, Bitter ran over and grinned. "So dis is da boy?"

 

Inwardly Winter cursed herself for not making a run for it when she could. "Yeah, Bitter, dat's him. Happy now?"

 

"Not yet. So, where'd ya meet Winter? What's yer name? Where ya live?" Bitter inquired.

 

"Um, I," the boy stuttered and looked at Winter helplessly.

 

"His name's Dutchy. We met in Central Park. He lives at Lower Manhattan. Now are you happy?" Winter glared.

 

Bitter grinned at Winter. "For now, yes." With that she strode over to the stairwell. "Have a nice date, you two, and bring her home by ten!"

 

Winter started to pull Dutchy with her, but he was staring at something. "Hey, ya ready or what?" she asked impatiently.

 

All the sudden Dutchy grabbed her arm and pulled her outside.

 

"What da hell Dutchy! What's wrong?" Winter hissed.

 

"That girl," he stammered.

 

"What girl? Bitter? What about her?"

 

"Not her. Da one sittin' in da corner."

 

"Ya know her?" Winter asked.

 

Dutchy nodded. "She used ta live at Lower Manhattan. Dat's Blaze. Den all da sudden she left. Nobody knew why. Has she been here long?"

 

"About a month. All she does is sit there at night and stare out da window. She talks about missin' her boyfriend, and somethin' about messin' everything up."

 

Dutchy ran a hand through his blonde hair. "Winter, did she tell ya why she left? Bumlets, her boyfriend, he's drivin' himself nuts tryin' ta figure out what he did."

 

Winter wasn't sure if it was right to tell Dutchy that Blaze was pregnant, but she did have an idea. "She's awful sad, Dutch. Do ya think ya can get dis boy Bumlets ta come up here? I have a feelin' she'll finally tell him now."

 

"Alright, I'll tell him." Dutchy hugged Winter close. "Imagine findin' a great gal up here on East Side, and findin' da girl a whole lodgin' house has been lookin' for ever since last month."

 

****

 

Bumlets was trying hard to forget his lost love, partaking in a poker game from now and then, and going back to Tibby's to eat lunch with his friends.

 

He thought if he tried hard enough, Blaze would leave his mind, or at least travel towards the depths of his memory, so he could get on with his life.

 

The night he thought he had finally made Blaze's image clear from his head, Dutchy approached him, afraid of how to tell Bumlets his news. There was no doubt in Dutchy's mind that he had to tell Bumlets what was awaiting him on the East Side of Manhattan. By what Winter had told Dutchy, Blaze missed her boyfriend more than words could describe, and by the look in Bumlets' eyes, he still missed her as well.

 

Sitting on the back porch, Bumlets watched Sling playfully aim her slingshot at Jack, who proceeded to duck behind a bush, shouting that if he hit her there would be hell to pay. It was then that Dutchy sat beside him, a nervous look on his face.

 

"Hey Dutch," Bumlets greeted. "I thought you'd be over visitin' East Side by now."

 

"Well, actually, I just came back from dere. Spent da afternoon wid Winter, and while I was dere, I found somethin'." His palms began to sweat. Dutchy had never told anyone news of this magnitude before, and he wasn't so sure if Bumlets would deck him after opening up such a painful wound.

 

His eyebrows raising, Bumlets adjusted the cap on his head. "Oh? What'd ya find?"

 

"A reason for you to visit East Side," Dutchy stated, gathering up the courage to continue.

 

"Me? Why me of all people?"

 

"I found her, Bumlets."

 

Silence ensued as Bumlets took in the discovery. Though his heart was shattered in a million pieces and more than anything he wanted to know why Blaze had left him, why should he just jump the second he finds out where she is?

 

"Well, I hope she's havin' a grand time," he muttered. "We've been over for a month, ain't nothin' gonna change that."

 

"Bumlets, you might not believe me, but hear me out. Winter and her… well dey talk. In fact, Blaze will only talk to her. I think ya need ta go to her. She's hurt and I think only you can help. Demand she tell you why she left. Give her a chance, alright?" Dutchy patted Bumlets' shoulder as he stood up.

 

Bumlets sat with his knees pulled to his chest. A chance? Why did Blaze deserve a chance from him? All she did was run out on me.

 

For over an hour Bumlets sat on the back porch, thinking of Blaze and what she meant to him. Could he just forgo what she had done and go to her anyhow? After a month of going insane over what drove her away, Bumlets came to the conclusion that going to East Side was the only way to make things right, or end things properly.

 

****

Despite all the time that had passed, Blaze hadn't forgotten Bumlets at all. She missed hearing his voice, and having him chase after her once she ran of with his hat again, and how he held her when she was upset or just cold. For yet another night, Blaze sat in one of the tattered chairs near a window of the lobby, staring outside for hours. She hadn't heard who Winter had gone out with earlier in the afternoon and she'd rather not think about the happiness of the girls around her right now. Somehow Blaze needed to come to grips with what she had done.

 

The girls knew better than to disturb her when she was sitting there. They knew that she missed someone or something, but that was about the extent of their knowledge. Plus Winter had made sure they knew not to interrupt Blaze, or there would be hell to pay. Every night they would see her sit there, looking longingly out the window and holding her belly, every once in awhile wiping a tear away. The lodgers didn't congregate in the lobby as much anymore, and when they did, the topic of boys was held back, since Winter had tried to make Blaze feel more comfortable at East Side.

 

While Blaze sat in the corner, looking even more detached than usual, Winter sat on the couch and watched her in silence. In her heart Winter knew Bumlets needed to know the truth of why Blaze ran away from him, and perhaps it would be best this way. If Dutchy told him today, Winter knew Bumlets would be storming through that door tonight, and so she waited in silence.

 

Blaze sighed heavily. The night sky was so clear tonight, and she missed Bumlets even more, since they used to watch the stars up on the roof. But she had to keep telling herself what she did was for the best. Though deep down Blaze knew the real reason she left was because of her fear of rejection from the only man she had loved, she had to tell herself she did this to protect Bumlets from the stress of having a child at an early age. She had run away from her father's rejection, and Blaze knew she couldn't handle another experience like that one. Please don't be mad at me, wherever ya are tanight. She missed him like hell, and as the days passed, the hurt of him far away only strengthened.

 

The night stretched on, and as Blaze sat in the chair still, Winter began to get antsy. She knew Dutchy would tell Bumlets as soon as he returned to Lower Manhattan, and from how Dutchy described him, Bumlets would be here as soon as he could. Was Bumlets really that mad at Blaze that he wouldn't come to see her? Only time would tell now.

 

****

 

About half an hour later, the front door creaked open, and Winter immediately looked up, her heart beating faster. From what Blaze described when they talked late at night, the boy standing in the doorway looked like Bumlets. Winter glanced back at Blaze, who was still staring out the window, and then quickly walked over before the boy could reach the lobby.

 

She put a finger to her lips when he started to speak and moved close to him to whisper. "Bumlets?"

 

Bewildered that she knew his name, since Dutchy hadn't explained much more besides the fact that Blaze was there, Bumlets nodded sadly. He was about to ask if Blaze was here, but Winter motioned to the chair in the far corner.

 

Bumlets had told himself he would be strong when he saw her. Blaze had left him, after all. After a month of endless pondering over what he did wrong, Bumlets was heartbroken and angry. He needed to know why she would just leave without even saying goodbye. Though the more he told himself to be firm and angry with Blaze, the harder it was as he walked towards her. Bumlets' heart sank at the image Blaze presented. She looked so detached and sad, and even though she had broken his heart, his anger and frustration started to subside the second he set his eyes on her solemn figure.

 

Quietly Bumlets walked towards her, and even when he was right there, Blaze didn't notice, until he stood in front of her and leaned against the windowsill. He hadn't noticed her belly, as Blaze had both her arms covering it, and her legs pulled up in the chair.

 

Startled, Blaze knew instantly who was blocking her view of the world outside, and turned her head, ashamed. She hadn't given thought to how he had found her, but how she would tell him the news of her pregnancy, and what he would do after he knew. Tears had already filled her eyes as she hung her head.

 

"Blaze, look at me," Bumlets whispered and started to reach for her hand. He felt her stiffen and sighed. I must have done somethin' really wrong for her ta act like dis ta me. "We need ta talk," he said firmly. It took all his strength not to pick her up in his arms and carry her home.

 

In her head Blaze wasn't paying much attention to his words, but what she would have to reveal to him now. She could feel her heart beating heavily in her chest. Even with the rejection and anger he might dish out, she had to tell him now. Nodding, Blaze looked up at him, forgoing to wipe any tears away, as she didn't want to reveal her belly just yet.

 

"Why did ya leave me?" Bumlets demanded to know, his tone still firm. "Why didn't you even say goodbye at least? What did I do dat was so wrong?"

 

"No, Bumlets, you didn't do anythin' wrong. I, just…" she stammered.

 

"You just what? Was it because ya didn't love me no more? Why not tell me instead of havin' da whole lodgin' house worried sick?"

 

Blaze curled up more. How could she reveal what drove her away if he seemed so upset with her now? "I ran away because I was afraid what you would think of me," she started, her voice trembling.

 

"Think of you? Why do ya say that?"

 

Blaze just wanted Bumlets to hold her while she cried. She was so afraid as soon as she moved he was going to run away. "I want to show you somethin'."

 

"Okay," he said softly, afraid of what she could possibly mean. It had to be something awful for her to leave that way. He watched as Blaze slid her legs from the chair and then as she sat up, removed her hands from her belly, showing her four-month pregnant body.

 

"I'm pregnant," she breathed, barely able to utter the words.

 

His eyes widened as scores of different thoughts ran through his head. Pregnant?! Why would she not tell him something this important? Was it because the baby wasn't his? Is that why she was afraid of what he would think? What else could it have been? Surely she could tell him something like this if it was his baby, couldn't she? He looked up at her, the curiosity too much to handle. "Is it… mine?" Was he really going to be a father?

 

Nodding, Blaze was a little surprised by the question. "A coise its yers," she answered, her voice still shaky. "Who else could dis baby be from?" she asked, slightly upset he had asked her such a thing. "I've only ever slept wid one man."

 

Bumlets' mind was filled with confusion. I'm gonna be a father? The thought both frightened and excited him. If the baby was his, then why would she run away from him? Didn't she think she could tell him the truth? "I didn't know what ta think. If it was mine why run away from dis? Why not tell me when ya found out?" he asked.

 

Blaze looked away from him, dropping her gaze. "I didn't know what ya would think. I didn't know if you'd be angry or upset at me. And I didn't want you to have to deal wid dis. Ya should be off playin' poker wid da boys, not takin' care of a baby," she mumbled.

 

Bumlets began to understand what she really meant. It wasn't that he should be off doing other things, it was that she was scared of rejection. She was afraid of him walking out on her, and instead chose to run away from the issue. It hurt him that she didn't feel comfortable telling him something this important, and that she thought he would just run off at the first sign of a real commitment. But he also knew of what she went through with her family, and that this probably had something to do with it. Her father had shown her enough rejection for a lifetime, and Bumlets knew Blaze couldn't handle more of that. He also knew Blaze couldn't stand to lose another person she loved dearly, as both her mother and brother had passed away at the hands of her father.

 

Taking her hand, Bumlets knelt in front of her and turned her chin so they could meet gazes. "Blaze, when I said I loved you, I meant it. Whatever happens, dat doesn't just change. I wish ya had told me dis when ya first knew, instead of going through it alone." Sighing, Bumlets squeezed her hand. "I went through hell for a month, not knowin' where ya were, or why ya left. I thought it was because I had done somethin' so wrong to you, but I didn't know what it was. It hurts ta know you didn't think you could tell me."

 

Blaze broke her gaze from him and felt the tears run down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I was too scared, and I just wound up makin' everythin' into a bigger mess. I wouldn't blame you for hating me."

 

"I don't hate you. Yes, I was angry, but when Dutchy told me ya was here, I had to come and set things straight."

 

"Dutchy?" Blaze asked. How did he know she was here? Just then it registered that Blaze hadn't even asked how Bumlets found her.

 

"Yeah, Dutchy. Winter's his girlfriend. He saw ya here dis afternoon, and told me 'bout it," he answered.

 

"I didn't even know she was goin' wid someone from Lower Manhattan, da stinker," she smiled through the tears and glanced over to see Winter, who just turned her head and started to whistle. Blaze reminded herself to thank Winter as soon as possible.

 

"I still love you, and I just wish you knew dat you can always tell me anythin'." He reached up to brush the tears away with his fingers. "I want you ta come back ta da lodgin' house wid me, and we'll get through dis together."

 

Blaze's heart leapt when he asked her to come back with him, and she pulled his hand towards her. Slowly Bumlets stood up and Blaze motioned for him to sit in the chair once she slid out. Without any words, Bumlets opened his arms and helped her sit on his lap, hugging her tightly once she was situated. This earned several 'aww's' from the small crowd of girls who were watching from the stairway.

 

Taking one of his hands, Blaze placed it on her belly and looked up at him. She smiled at his expression, which was mixed with anticipation and amazement. He was still grasping the concept of Blaze being pregnant, but what mattered right now was that things between them were going to be alright.

 

"I'm really gonna be a daddy," he whispered, more to hear it for himself than anything else.

 

"A great daddy," Blaze smiled.

 

"Love you," Blaze whispered. "I promise ta tell ya stuff from now on."

 

Smiling down at her, Bumlets kept his hand on her stomach as he leaned in to kiss Blaze softly. Once they broke, Bumlets poked her nose. "No more of dis secret stuff. I wanna know everythin', from when ya think yer gonna steal me hat so I can stop ya, to what da goils at da lodgin' house think of me handsome face."

 

Laughing a little, Blaze rested her head against his shoulder. "Take me home now?" she whispered.

 

Kissing her forehead, Bumlets nodded. "Sure, let's get yer stuff."

 

Blazes' cheeks reddened when the girls started to clap and she clung to Bumlets once they stood up.

 

"I'll get yer bag," Winter smiled and ran up the stairs.

 

"Blaze, dis is da man ya've been hidin' out from?" Charity asked. "Such a handsome fella," she smiled sweetly at him.

 

Blaze squeezed Bumlets hand and smiled at Charity. "Dat's my handsome fella, and if you'll excuse us, we have a lodgin' house ta get to."

 

Bitter and LadyLuck snickered in the background. "We'll miss ya, Blaze."

 

Winter trotted down the steps with Blaze's belongings and smiled. "Now don't you be runnin' out on dis boy again, or I'll be after ya, and dere will be hell ta pay."

 

Blaze hugged Winter tightly. "Thanks, for everythin'."

 

"Don't mention it. And come visit, alright? I wanna see dat kid one of dese days." She turned to Bumlets and nodded. "And you sir, take good care of her."

 

"I will, I promise," Bumlets answered and took Blaze's bag from Winter's hand. "Thank-you for lookin' out for her."

 

"Now go on before we keep ya both here," Winter grinned.

 

Illusion, Bitter, LadyLuck, Cyanne, Charity, and Giggles waved goodbye to Blaze and the couple made their way out onto the New York street.

 

Bumlets held Blaze close to himself, worried about the breeze. "Are ya cold? I don't want ya ta get too cold wid da baby and all."

 

"Worryin' already-!" Blaze teased and hugged him tightly. "I'll be fine wid you right here next ta me."

 

"Okay, but you tell me da instant ya get cold," he instructed.

 

"Yes sir."

 

"Love you," Bumlets whispered in her ear.

 

"Love ya too," she smiled.

 

****

Blaze sat on the roof, leaning back on Bumlets' chest and admiring the sky as the sun began to set. His arms around her belly, Blaze tilted her head back and kissed his chin. She had missed just sitting with him, and she had missed her lodging house. From the instant she returned Blaze felt right at home again.

 

Now, at seven months along, she and Bumlets had fully accepted the idea of being parents and were excited about their child. They knew life wouldn't be easy, as providing for themselves alone had been enough of a challenge, but they were ready to take on the task of caring for a child, and determined to provide their baby with everything they possibly could.

 

"Ya ready ta run after a kid wid yer hat?" she whispered, pulling his arms around her tighter in the night breeze.

 

"You are not gonna teach da kid to take me hat too, are ya?" Bumlets whined.

 

"Of course I am!" Blaze teased. "It'll be good exercise for ya." Blaze crawled over on the blanket and lay down. She looked up at Bumlets and smiled.

 

"Now I'll have ta make sure dis hat is stuck on me head, so ya can't take it," he decided and slid down towards her belly. "You are not gonna steal me hat," he whispered to their unborn child. "You'll love yer dad too much to do such a horrible thing."

 

Lifting her shirt up just enough, Bumlets kissed Blaze's belly. "Instead I'll teach ya to fence and ya can help me ward off yer mom when she wants me hat. Ya know she's just jealous cause she doesn't have a hat as great as mine," he whispered, just loud enough for Blaze to hear.

 

Rolling her eyes, Blaze slid her hand through his hair. She shivered a little, the air getting colder by the minute. "Maybe we should head inside soon."

 

"Blaze, before we go inside, dere's somethin' I've been meanin' ta ask ya for awhile." He slid up beside her and kissed her forehead.

 

"What is it?" she asked.

 

"Well, I can't tell ya 'til ya stand up," he grinned. Inwardly Bumlets was scared to death of what she might say, but he had thought long and hard about proposing, and tonight was too great a night to pass up.

 

Eyeing him with suspicion, Blaze took his hands as he helped her stand up. "Alright, so what is it?" she asked, the curiosity getting to her now.

 

"Oh no, close your eyes," he smiled.

 

Laughing, Blaze shut her eyes and smiled widely in anticipation. "Okay, now will ya tell me?"

 

"You are so impatient sometimes!" Bumlets teased. Quietly he reached into his pants pocket and withdrew a simple, silver ring, the only thing he could afford after several months of saving. Though he wished to get her a proper engagement ring, his salary wouldn't come close to affording something of that magnitude and he knew saving for the baby was more important. Despite his wishes to buy her a better token of his affections, Bumlets knew Blaze adored silver, and he only hoped she would love it.

 

"Tell me already!"

 

Bumlets knelt on one knee and took her hand while he hid the ring behind his back in a closed fist. "Alright, open 'em."

 

Blaze looked down and gasped. She was too surprised to do or say anything, and merely smiled in amazement at Bumlets.

 

"Now before ya go runnin' for da hills, lemme remember what I was gonna say," he chuckled nervously.

 

"Okay, I guess I could stand ta listen for a few minutes, but make it quick," she joked.

 

Pretending to be upset at her words, Bumlets frowned at her for a moment before he took in a deep breath. "I've been thinkin' about us and our future for a long time; before I even knew ya was pregnant. And, um, I-I've loved you for longer den ya know about, but I was always afraid of telling you."

 

Bumlets stopped to take another breath. His palms were beginning to sweat, and despite the cool weather he felt flushed from nervousness. Blaze was gazing right at him and Bumlets wasn't sure he could remember what he had wanted to say now. Why was this so much easier to say when Bumlets was thinking about it at night? Maybe I should just stop completely before I make a bigger fool outta meself, he thought, but as she smiled at him, Bumlets gathered the courage to continue.

 

"Ya know, never have I wanted ta be wid someone so strongly, and I… well, I want ta be wid you, forever. I want to bring our baby into dis world da right way, wid two parents dat aren't just connected as mother and father, but as husband and wife…" he paused, watching her expression closely. " Will ya marry me?"

 

Doing her best to hide a squeal, Blaze brought a hand to her chin as she pretended to debate over her answer. "Well, I, uh… hmm…" Blaze felt the baby kick and took his hand, pressing it to her stomach. "I think da baby and I have come to a decision."

 

Bumlets still wasn't used to the feeling of a baby being inside of Blaze. Each time he felt the baby kick, he thought about how wonderful and rewarding being a father was going to be. "Oh, and what did you two decide?"

 

"We have discussed da issue, and da baby agrees dat I should say yes to da most handsome man we've ever seen," Blaze smiled.

 

Bumlets had nearly forgotten about the ring. Pulling it quickly from behind his back, Bumlets lost his balance and centered himself before presenting it to Blaze.

 

Blaze hadn't even thought of a ring. She didn't need one, and she certainly had no idea how he could afford it. "Oh, Bumlets, I don't know what ta say. It's so pretty. How did ya afford such thing?"

 

"Shh, nevermind that," Bumlets smiled and easily slipped the silver band on Blaze's finger.

 

Stretching her arm out, Blaze admired the plain ring as if Bumlets had just placed the most expensive ring in New York City on her finger. Her baby kicked again and Blaze reached for Bumlets' hand. "Da kid must approve."

 

"I'm glad. It's important dat da baby approve." Bumlets rose to his feet and carefully wrapped his arms around his fiancé, nuzzling his nose with hers. He kissed her softly and when he felt her arms around him, Bumlets pulled her near, deepening the kiss.

 

Once they broke apart, Bumlets held her tightly. "I love you, both," he smiled.

 

"Love you more," she whispered in his ear.

 

Bumlets helped Blaze sit down on the blanket once more and held her close. "Hmm, well, I love ya most," he grinned.

 

Kissing his cheek, Blaze closed her eyes, feeling that warmth and safety she always did when cradled in his arms. "Bums, what do ya think it'll be?" she asked sleepily.

 

"Ya mean, boy or girl?" he asked as he went to work nibbling on her neck.

 

"Mmhmm," she answered, feeling herself close to falling asleep right there.

 

In between his kisses, Bumlets thought about the question. "Well, what do you wanna have?" he whispered and felt her shiver when he hit a sensitive spot on her neck.

 

"I wanna have a little Bumlets, complete wid da gorgeous hair he has," she mumbled.

 

Chuckling, Bumlets kissed her cheek. "Well, what if I wanna have a little Blaze, complete wid dis beautiful face I see in front of me."

 

"Too bad, I get ta choose," she smirked.

 

Tickling her briefly, Bumlets smiled. "We'll just have ta wait and see den, won't we? Now, let's get ya inside before it gets much colder, or ya fall asleep on me."

 

****

 

"But, we don't have much time, Bumlets. What's deir excuse now?" Blaze asked, frowning.

 

"I know, but we don't have much money ta get married, and dat means we gotta go on da waitin' list. Marriages wid couples dat can pay for da whole thing come foist. And if we don't want da court ta do it, den we have to wait longah for da priest to. Not ta mention it's comin' up on da holidays, and I guess more people wanna get married now."

 

"He's awful busy lately," Blaze muttered. "But I don't want da court doin' it. I want a small one in da church wid all da Newsies. I don't care if we gotta get married and den have da baby right after dat. I'm willin' ta wait."

 

Bumlets lightly slipped his arms around Blaze and kissed her nose. "Den we'll wait and have a proper weddin'."

 

****

Sighing, Blaze turned to face the mirror, her hand gently placed over her belly. Any day now. She was in her ninth month, and scared out of her mind about giving birth. Sorrow had done her best to calm Blaze's fears, but they still remained to some degree. "Ya can't come out 'til Bumlets and I get married, ya hear?" she instructed, turning to see her other side in the mirror.

 

Bumlets hadn't let Blaze sell for the past two months, explaining that it would be best for her to get all the rest she possibly could. Blaze had tried to argue with him, complaining that resting in bed most of the day was torture to her, but Bumlets was persistent about keeping Blaze rested and as stress-free as possible.

 

These last few days seemed to stretch endlessly. Bumlets was selling enough newspapers to support both himself and Blaze, plus he was doing his best to save up for when the baby arrived. Blaze wouldn't see him until the evening, when he would come home exhausted, but proud that he was able to work this hard to support them. She missed selling with him and spending lunchtime at Tibby's next to him, but they both had a lot of adjusting to do with the pregnancy.

 

The doctor had told them Blaze's due date was scheduled for next week, and Blaze was anxious for that day to arrive. Every afternoon Blaze would wait for Sorrow to come back from selling, and Sorrow would field endless questions about what to expect at delivery time.

 

Sorrow found the midwife who had delivered her baby and once Blaze had met her, she immediately agreed to have her baby delivered by the kind woman. Mrs. Lewis' cheerful and strong spirit was clearly evident the moment Blaze was greeted by the midwife, and Blaze felt at ease with her right away. Mrs. Lewis had been married for over thirty years, and had four children of her own - three girls and one boy. Her children had already moved out and married, and she had delivered her own grandchildren into the world over the past few years.

 

Standing at a stocky 5'5", Mrs. Lewis always kept her long, silvery hair wrapped up in a bun, and while her wrinkles provided the knowledge to reasonably guess her fifty years of age, her disposition and energy equaled that of a thirty year old. As it turned out, Mrs. Lewis lived just a few blocks away, and that made Blaze's worry of not having someone around to deliver the baby shrink dramatically.

 

****

 

Blaze didn't feel like resting long today. Everyone was gone for work and she felt rather restless. For awhile she kept Kloppman company, helping him with simple chores like dusting, as he wouldn't dare let her do any heavy duty jobs.

 

Later in the day, Blaze relaxed on the couch, her brain conjuring up some more questions for Sorrow, and soon she saw her friend walk through the door, smiling.

 

"And how's da pregnant lady doin' dis afternoon?" Sorrow teased.

 

"Just fine," Blaze answered. "Baby's been quiet lately. I'm glad it hasn't decided to kick me in the gut for awhile," she smiled.

 

"Must be napping," Sorrow stated and plopped down on the couch beside Blaze.

 

All the sudden Blaze's expression changed. Not now! Not yet!

 

"What? Did I sit down so hard it kicked ya?" Sorrow asked.

 

Shaking her head, Blaze tried to speak. "I think it's time. I feel… what did ya call 'em? Dose little pains… contractions? Dat's it. Oh gawd Sorrow, not now!"

 

Sorrow wasn't exactly prepared for this, and at first, she forgot how to speak. Several moments later, Sorrow remembered that she had to be the strong one now. "Okay, don't worry. We've got plenty of time. Let's get you upstairs to da sick room, c'mon."

 

Carefully Sorrow helped Blaze up and called for Kloppman. "Here, take her upstairs while I run and fetch da midwife," she instructed.

 

She saw Blaze start to panic, and squeezed her hand. "I'll get da Mrs. Lewis, den grab Bumlets from selling. Ya know he goes to da same place everyday, just in case dis happens when he ain't here. Don't worry. Ya have a long time before da baby will arrive."

 

Nodding, Blaze grimaced as she felt a small pain to her belly, and slowly climbed the stairs with Kloppman.

 

Sorrow was out the door in a flash and barreling down the street. Once she had informed Mrs. Lewis it was time, she dashed towards Bumlets' selling spot.

 

He saw her racing towards him and dropped his papers immediately. "What is it? Is Blaze alright?" he asked quickly.

 

"It's time! C'mon!" Sorrow yelled and the two ran back to the lodging house.

 

"I'm going to need someone to help me," Mrs. Lewis started, and looked around the lodging house. Some of the girls had returned by now, and they all stood there motionless. None of them had ever helped deliver a baby before.

 

Her eyes examined the group, and before selecting an individual, Mrs. Lewis removed her spectacles and smiled. "You there. Grab some cool cloths and come in the room," she instructed, pointing to a bewildered Mayhem.

 

"Me? Ya gotta be out of yer bloody mind!" she cried.

 

Looking at her sternly, Mrs. Lewis frowned. "Hurry up."

 

Sighing, Mayhem went to fetch the cloths, mumbling that this was not her day.

 

Mrs. Lewis entered the room and saw Blaze gripping tightly to the edge of the bed. Blaze just wished Bumlets and Sorrow would return soon, as this was getting scarier by the second.

 

"You're doing fine sweetie," Mrs. Lewis praised and smiled. She examined Blaze and nodded. "It's not time to start pushing yet, just relax."

 

When Mayhem came back with the cloths, Mrs. Lewis instructed her to get Blaze's nightgown. "We'll change you into that and see how you feel then."

 

"Okay," Blaze whispered, her voice staggered by the increasing pain.

 

When Mayhem retrieved her nightgown, she still looked rather put out that she was the one assisting, but by the looks of Mrs. Lewis, there was no backing out. Once Blaze had changed, Mayhem went to back up, but Blaze felt a contraction shoot through her and grasped Mayhem's hand.

 

"Hey! Ow!" Mayhem started to complain, but Mrs. Lewis looked at her sternly and Mayhem quietly winced.

 

"Is she alright?" The door had creaked open, and Sorrow was peering inside, Bumlets right behind her.

 

"She's just fine, Sorrow. Here, why don't you come help so this girl can get the blood back in her hand," she smiled and Mayhem glared.

 

Gently Sorrow eased her hand into Blaze's and Mayhem inwardly sighed in relief. She walked out of the room, rubbing her hand with the other.

 

"Blaze?" Bumlets called from the door.

 

Mrs. Lewis walked over and smiled. "She's alright. Go sit down and you can see her once the baby arrives."

 

"But, can't I…" he started.

 

"No, it's better for you to stay out here. It'll be fine."

 

Blaze heard them conversing by the door and pulled on Sorrow's hand. "Can't I just see him, just for a second?" she pleaded.

 

"Mrs. Lewis, can she talk ta him just for a sec?" Sorrow called.

 

Mrs. Lewis was hesitant, because usually once the soon-to-be-father was in the room it was hard to get him out again. "Alright, but just a second."

 

Bumlets smiled thankfully at the woman and walked over to the bed. "Hey there." His heart ached to see his girl so scared. If only they'd let him stay by her side during the birth.

 

Blaze reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him close to her. The contractions were still far apart, but each one, despite how small, still frightened her to no end. "Bums, don't leave, please," she whispered.

 

Grasping Blaze's hand with both of his, Bumlets sighed. "Oh sweetheart, I can't. It's best dat Sorrow and Mrs. Lewis take care of ya now. I don't know a thing 'bout dis." He saw her face fill with panic and gently sat on the bed. "But I'll be right outside dat door da whole time. If dey need me, I'll be right dere. I promise not ta go anywhere."

 

Bending down, Bumlets softly kissed her temple. "I love you. Everythin' will be fine, I promise."

 

"But we ain't even married yet," Blaze protested.

 

"Well, we'll get married wid da baby there ta watch," he smiled. "Things will work out fine."

 

"Alright Bumlets, I think it's time for you to wait outside," Mrs. Lewis instructed. Seeing the worried expression on Bumlets' face, she smiled. "We'll keep you updated, don't worry, now go."

 

Sighing, Bumlets nodded and turned back to Blaze once more. "Yer gonna be fine, I promise. I'll be right outside okay? I love you."

 

"I love you too," Blaze replied. She felt him start to let go of her hand and shook her head.

 

How could I just leave her like this? She looks so petrified. Bumlets squeezed her hand and brushed a strand of hair from her face. "Sorrow and Mrs. Lewis are right here for you. Just hold onto Sorrow's hand." Bumlets reached for Sorrow and gently eased his hand from Blaze's grip.

 

"It's gonna be okay, Blaze," Sorrow smiled. "I'm right here."

 

"Okay," Blaze answered timidly. "Don't leave dat hall, Bumlets, please."

 

"I promise I won't." Bumlets kissed her nose and started to leave the room. He mouthed the words 'I love you' before leaving Blaze's sight, and once the door closed behind him, Bumlets nervously paced the floor, unable to sit.

 

An hour went by, and Bumlets was a nervous wreck. Every time he heard Blaze yelp, Bumlets winced, and the boys had to make sure they guarded the door so he wouldn't burst into the room.

 

The afternoon changed to night, and still Bumlets hadn't heard how things were going. Once in awhile he would hear Blaze scream in pain, and that would drive him to the door, eagerly waiting for someone to tell him what was going on. "Why is it takin' so long?"

 

Race patted his shoulder. He had just finished making the rounds for bets of a boy or girl and decided against getting the distraught father-to-be's bet. "It'll be fine, Bums. Will ya sit down already?"

 

Bumlets shook his head. He had never experienced something like this before, and without the money to afford a decent hospital birth, he felt incredibly lost. He hadn't really found out how long a birth could take and what the midwife had told Bumlets, he couldn't remember with all the excitement.

 

Finally the door opened a bit, and he saw Sorrow standing there, looking rather disheveled. Before Bumlets could ask, Sorrow spoke up. "She's doing good. Won't be too much longer now. We think the baby is starting to make its way out."

 

"It's been hours!" Bumlets cried. "Is the baby alright? When will you know for sure?"

 

Sorrow stopped him before he could ask another question. "She says she feels somethin' pushin' against her. Dat could very well mean da baby is ready ta come out. It just takes time. Relax."

 

"Relax? How can I relax?" By the time Bumlets had finished that question, the door had shut and he heard Blaze scream again.

 

Bumlets lunged for Race and grabbed his pocketwatch. "How long could dis possibly take?!"

 

"Hey! Dat's an expensive watch yer messin' up!" Race complained, but when Bumlets glared at him, Race decided to find something else to occupy his time.

 

After another few hours, the room stopped echoing cries of pain, and Bumlets stood still, frantically waiting for someone to tell him his love was alright. He looked at the watch he had nabbed from Race, and it was already several minutes after four in the morning. The Newsies were asleep in the hallway, all not wanting to retire to their own beds until the baby was born.

 

The door opened and Bumlets looked at the Mrs. Lewis expectantly. The woman was visibly tired, and Bumlets couldn't read her expression. Although Bumlets had planned to wake the others up when the news arrived, he couldn't bring himself to think about anything else than Blaze and their baby right now.

 

"Is she…" he started.

 

"She's fine. On the last push, she fainted, but after what she went through, that's to be expected. She's sleeping now." Then she sighed, and her gaze fell to the floor before it returned to the expectant father's eyes. "But, I'm afraid the baby didn't make it."

 

Bumlets mouth opened, but no words could be found. He felt as if someone had just run over him with a carriage. He could hardly breathe. Something felt like it was pushing against his chest. "What do ya mean, didn't make it?" he demanded. After all he heard Blaze go through, and what he had gone through outside of the room, the baby just couldn't be dead. That wasn't possible.

 

"It must have died inside her a few days ago. The umbilical cord was wrapped around your baby's leg. She had suffocated from it. She was probably very active inside the womb, and got tangled up in the very thing that provided her oxygen. There was nothing Blaze or you could have done differently. I want you to know that. Sometimes these things unfortunately happen. It had to have been very recent, because she's a very healthy weight and length. But there was nothing we could do to save her. I'm so sorry."

 

Bumlets could hear her talking, but it seemed so distant to him. A girl, we had a girl. He had gone from being so afraid to be a father, to wanting to have this baby more than anything. He was going to marry Blaze, and they were going to have a family. Now he didn't know what was to happen.

 

"Can… can I see Blaze, please?"

 

Nodding solemnly, Mrs. Lewis led him into the small room. He saw Sorrow sitting in the corner, cradling in her arms a blanket with the baby that didn't survive, her eyes filled with tears.

 

Bumlets staggered towards Blaze, stricken with grief, and collapsed on his knees in front of the bed. She was sleeping peacefully, and he knew she had no idea what had happened to their baby. How was he to tell her such horrid news? How could they have made it through until the very last days and then lose what they were so anxious to hold and love? Bumlets felt someone was punishing him for a reason unbeknownst to him.

 

He brushed through her sweat-soaked hair gently and laid his head on the bed. A comforting hand gripped his shoulder, and he turned to see Mrs. Lewis. "Would you like to hold your baby?"

 

At first Bumlets couldn't answer her. Hold her? His throat was parched and his brain wasn't able to process anything that resembled clear thought. Could he hold the child he had waited months for, even though she had already passed? Slowly, he nodded, still unsure of his answer. It took him a moment to rise to his feet again, as he felt he would collapse at any second.

 

He turned towards Sorrow as she stood up. She had done her best to be strong for Blaze for hours, but slowly felt herself crumbling. Tears had filled her eyes the instant she saw the lifeless infant, but as she handed Bumlets his baby, Sorrow retreated back to the corner and covered her face, crying softly.

 

Bumlets sat in the rocking chair near Blaze's bed. The baby in his arms looked so perfect and so peaceful. They had dressed the baby in the very outfit that Bumlets had scrimped and saved for, the outfit that he was supposed to show off his newborn baby to the others in, and the outfit that he was to rock her in when she cried. She has to be sleeping. She can't be gone. She's gonna wake up at any time now.

 

Slowly Bumlets rocked his child back and forth. He slipped his index finger into the tiny hand of the infant and stroked her fist with his thumb. She had Blaze's fair skin, only a slightly darker shade. He marveled at how she looked just like her mother, and wished she would wake up, just so he could see if she had Blaze's piercing blue eyes as well.

 

Mrs. Lewis kneeled by Bumlets' side and touched his arm. "I can take the baby for you now, or I can leave her here with you until the morning, when we can set up a funeral, if you want."

 

Never had he thought he'd be asked such a question today. Today was supposed to be the birth of his child, not its funeral plans. Bumlets nodded. "I… I think I'd like to hold her awhile, and I want Blaze to have a chance to as well."

 

"Alright. I'll come visit around nine and see how you all are doing. We'll talk more then. If anything seems wrong with Blaze, just have Sorrow come fetch me. Remember that she doesn't know what happened, and will be quite frightened when she wakes up. Whatever you do, don't leave her alone." She motioned for Sorrow to come with her, and the two left the room quietly.

 

Once the two women had left the room, Bumlets felt his emotions swell over him. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he rocked his tiny girl back and forth. He started to sing the lullaby he recalled his mother singing to him when he was a small boy. What was he to tell Blaze when she awoke? Should he even consider waking her up now?

 

Bumlets couldn't take his eyes from the tiny infant. He kept hoping she would wake up, but as time passed, he began to come to terms with the fact that his baby was already gone. He didn't dare rest, for Bumlets knew now was the time to decide how to tell Blaze. He had to put his grief aside once she was awake and help her get through this as best he could. Blowing out the small candle on the table beside him, Bumlets continued to rock his child and sing to her, tears still flowing down his cheeks.

 

****

A little over half an hour later, Blaze started to gain consciousness. The first thing that registered was the soreness in her belly. Whimpering quietly, Blaze ran her hand over her smaller stomach and winced. She started to remember what had happened the night before and how she wished for it to be over, but her labor kept dragging on for what seemed like an eternity.

 

Opening her blue eyes wider, she tried to make out anything in the room only lit by the moon shining dimly in the window. Bumlets had to be in here, didn't he? "Bumlets?" she whispered, her throat sore from the agonizing screams of her delivery. Where was their baby? She hadn't even been able to see it, as Blaze recalled blacking out during the delivery.

 

Arching her neck, Blaze looked around the dark room. There was Bumlets in the rocking chair with a bundle in his arms. She could hear him humming softly. "Bumlets?" she whispered louder. Unable to hold in this curiosity, Blaze started to sit up, her mind concentrating on the sight of her baby, instead of the soreness she felt with movement.

 

"Hey sleepyhead," Bumlets whispered. His heart began to pound. How did he explain that the child Blaze had carried inside her for nine months was gone?

 

Blaze tried to turn on her side, but her belly was yelling at her to lie still. "Don't make me wait another second. What'd we have?"

 

His heart crumbling at the amount of excitement in her voice, Bumlets looked down at the motionless bundle and sighed. "Oh Blaze, I was so worried about ya. Da boys had ta keep me from breakin' da door down all night. I love you so much."

 

"I'm fine, see? Sure, it wasn't exactly somethin' I'd wanna do on a daily basis, or yearly, for dat mattah, but we made it. C'mon, stop stallin', what'd we have!"

 

"I… I waited all night long, and it was after four when Mrs. Lewis finally came out and told me ya had fainted on da last push," he started, and felt a lump in his throat.

 

At that point Blaze grew impatient. Why was he still stalling? Didn't he see how anxious she was to hold their baby? Something wasn't right, but she didn't know what that something was.

 

"She came out and said ya was fine. I even grabbed Race's watch ta keep track of da time. It's still in me pocket. Den, she told me about da baby…"

 

"Did we have a little Bumlets? Is dat why you're takin' yer time in tellin' me? I wanna know," Blaze pleaded. "I wanna hold it, Bumlets. Lemme hold it."

 

She saw the outline of his head shaking in the darkness and worry started to fill her being. "So it was a girl? Come on Bums, bring her over here. Please, I wanna see our baby." Why wasn't he getting up from the chair yet?

 

"Yes, we had a girl, but…" Bumlets struggled with the words. "When da baby was born, it had already passed away." Carefully Bumlets slid out of the rocking chair and placed the baby in the small bassinet while he lit the only candle in the room.

 

"Our baby… was already gone?" she whispered, disbelieving. "Den what are ya holdin' in yer arms? Dat's some cruel joke. Stop fooling around."

 

"Oh Blaze, I'm so sorry." Bumlets felt tears spill from his eyes again. Gently he picked up their girl and brought her over to the bed. "She died a few days ago…"

 

"How?!" she cried. "Why?"

 

"From the cord," he explained. "It was wrapped around her leg, and it cut off her only way to get oxygen." Even though it was quite dark, he didn't need to see Blaze's face to know the pain that just engulfed her.

 

Her heart shattered the instant Blaze started to take in the horrid news. She just stared at Bumlets and the blanket in his arms. She couldn't see her baby yet, and at first Blaze didn't want to.

 

"No! Dis is some stupid prank, ain't it!" she yelled, her throat aching.

 

Bumlets reached out for her hand, but she whipped it back. "Blaze, please. I wouldn't ever lie ta you about somethin' like this." All he wanted to do was hold her and cry, but Bumlets knew he had to be strong for both of them now.

 

Turning her head, Blaze wiped the tears from her eyes. "My baby is fine. I felt her kick all dis month, how could she be dead! It ain't possible!" Desperately Blaze searched her memory. When was da last time she kicked? It had to be yesterday, wasn't it? She couldn't remember. These past few weeks Blaze had been so scared of delivering the baby, she wasn't sure if the baby had kicked or not. How could I have been so stupid ta not remember? Dis is all me fault.

 

Again Bumlets reached for her hand, and this time Blaze didn't pull away. "Gabrielle, listen ta me. Sometimes things just don't work out da way we want 'em too. I can't explain why it happened ta us, but it did. Dere was nothin' ya could have done ta prevent it. Mrs. Lewis even said so. It just wasn't time for us ta have a family."

 

"Why wasn't it time?! Cause I wasn't gonna be a good enough mother? I was ready! I wanted dis baby! Why couldn't it have lived den! What did I do dat was so wrong?! Is it cause we ain't married yet? Is dat why we'se bein' punished?!" she yelled and winced as her throat could barely take anymore.

 

"It just wasn't our time yet," Bumlets explained softly. "We have so much time, Blaze; so much time ta make family. Dis just wasn't da right one."

 

Blaze looked over at him, tears flooding her vision. I did something wrong. I must have. I didn't rest enough, or didn't love her enough. Maybe I didn't long to have her as much as I should have. It's me fault. Blaze felt like a huge failure. She had failed her baby and Bumlets. She turned her gaze to the lifeless being in the blanket, curiosity overcoming her. "Wh-what does she look like?"

 

"She's beautiful. Looks just like her mother," Bumlets smiled sadly. "Would you like to hold her?"

 

Frightened at first, Blaze wasn't so sure holding a dead baby was a good idea, but then the thought that this would be the only time she could ever hold her daughter came to mind, and she nodded her head. Bumlets stood up from the bed and gently placed their child in Blaze's arms.

 

Her throat completely dry and sore, Blaze couldn't speak, nor did she find any words to utter. The only thing she could do was cry. Bumlets was right, their child was absolutely breathtaking. Why would this happen? Why would she get to give birth to something so precious, when it wasn't even going to live to take its first real breath? Blaze didn't know of a greater torture than what she was going through right now.

 

Bumlets heard her begin to weep, and quickly removed his boots before climbing into bed alongside her. Carefully Bumlets took Blaze into his arms as she wept, and soon his eyes were filled with tears as well.

 

Stroking through Blaze's curls, Bumlets kissed her forehead. "She's our little angel," he whispered.

 

Sobbing, Blaze stared at the baby in her arms. She couldn't bring herself to touch her child, but merely held the blanket close to her chest. Bumlets reached out and delicately stroked the baby's cold cheek. As he did so, Blaze gradually let her trembling fingers run over top of his, afraid of what the baby's lifeless skin would feel like.

 

If only she would open her eyes, just for a moment, or cry, just once so I could hear what her voice sounds like.

 

"Doesn't she have da smallest fingers you've ever seen?" Bumlets whispered. He could see how hesitant Blaze was to touch the baby and he wanted to do whatever he could to make her more comfortable.

 

Blaze rested her head on Bumlets' shoulder and nodded. "She has your nose."

 

"Nuh uh, she has your nose," Bumlets countered.

 

"No, it's too big ta be mine." Carefully, as if Blaze thought she'd hurt the child, she touched the tiny nose. She's so fair-skinned and so cold. I wish I could make her warm again.

 

"She looks just like you, Blaze. Just like a little angel," Bumlets marveled as he stroked his daughter's cheek.

 

Blaze started to sob again as she held her first born's tiny hand. Here she was, holding their baby for who knows how long, and they hadn't even named her yet. They had both agreed months ago that they would not name the child until it was born. "Bumlets, a name," she whispered, sniffling. "Shouldn't we name her?"

 

"What would ya like ta call her?" he asked, pulling Blaze closer into his arms. "I don't think Bumlets would fit."

 

"No, and neither would Dominic."

 

"Emily? Abigail?" Bumlets suggested. "Or we could name her after someone in one of our families, if ya wanted. Gabrielle is especially pretty."

 

"She doesn't look like an Emily, or an Abigail." She always thought her baby's name would just come to her once the infant was born, but this was turning out to be harder than she expected.

 

"Elisabeth? Amelia?" Bumlets continued to say as many names as he could think of that might work, but Blaze just shook her head.

 

"Okay, what about Emma, or Katherine, or Michaela, or Edith, or…"

 

"That's it," Blaze declared.

 

"Which one?"

 

"Michaela," she stated. "Dat's da one."

 

"Then dat shall be her name," Bumlets announced. "But we ain't done, we need a middle name too."

 

Blaze sighed. Her mind was a jumbled mess. She felt her daughter's name had to be perfect. It was the name she would have to remember her by for the rest of her life. If she had failed in giving birth to her, how could she come up with the perfect name now? She would probably fail at that as well.

 

"Ya know, she was awful defiant while in yer belly. I think we should name her aftah yer cousin," he concluded. "She reminds me of Jade."

 

"Ya think so?"

 

Bumlets nodded. "Yeah, I do. Michaela Jade…"

 

"Cantolla," Blaze finished. "She has ta have yer last name."

 

"Michaela Jade Cantolla," Bumlets whispered to his daughter. Stealing a glance at Blaze, he saw her smile. For the first time since he had painfully told Blaze the news of their daughter, her eyes weren't filled with sorrow, but joy as she held their baby. It only lasted a brief second, but that was all he needed. While he had rocked Michaela, Bumlets worried that this would push Blaze over the edge. He didn't understand why another loved one was being taken from her. Would they both be able to cope with this someday?

 

Stroking through her hair, Bumlets noticed the room was starting to get lighter. He didn't want morning to come - not yet. Once Mrs. Lewis came, he would have to be strong again as they made funeral plans and said final goodbyes to their daughter. Couldn't time just stop for awhile?

 

Growing restless from sitting on the bed, Blaze tried to move a bit to see if the pain was subsiding, and was relieved to feel that she wasn't as sore as a few hours ago. "Bumlets, will you help me?"

 

"Sure, what is it?"

 

"Could ya help me sit in da chair so I could hold her?" Blaze didn't know how long she had with Michaela, and she didn't care if it was better for her to stay in bed. She wanted to rock her baby just once.

 

Bumlets was hesitant to move her, but he could see how eager she was to hold their baby, and he wasn't going to stop her from doing so. Nodding, Bumlets crawled off the bed and took Michaela from Blaze's arms, setting her gently in the bassinet.

 

Leaning back on her elbows, Blaze began to sit up, and realized this was going to take a lot more effort than she originally thought. The last thing she wanted was Bumlets to see her grimace in pain and refuse to help her, so she tried not to show any signs of discomfort whatsoever.

 

"Easy does it," Bumlets whispered. He could see she was hiding how much this hurt and decided the best thing was to make sure she moved as little as possible. "Put yer arm around me neck."

 

Blaze did as he instructed and Bumlets picked her up from the bed. "Now dis is foist class service," Blaze said, relieved.

 

"I think I should charge for doin' dis." Setting Blaze in the rocking chair, Bumlets picked up Michaela and placed the infant in her mother's arms. He started to feel drowsy and told himself he would not sleep during the only time he would ever see his first born. No matter how tired Bumlets was, nothing was going to get him to sleep now.

 

While he watched Blaze rock back and forth slowly, Bumlets took out Race's pocketwatch. Now it was after seven in the morning. He didn't know what would happen when Mrs. Lewis returned, or how long they would have with Michaela before she was finally taken for burial.

 

Blaze still didn't want to think her child was gone. She thought if she rocked Michaela back and forth, she might wake up. When more and more time passed and her little eyes never opened, Blaze started to cry again. "She's not gonna wake up, is she?"

 

Bumlets could barely open his mouth to answer her. "No, honey, she's not." The reaction in Blaze's face nearly tore Bumlets in two. Immediately he pushed himself from his seat on the bed and knelt beside the rocking chair, his hand firmly holding hers.

 

"But that doesn't mean she's fully gone," Bumlets continued. "She's probably watchin' over us right now, and laughin' cause we probably look all exhausted and pretty crappy while she's stealin' hats somewhere. She's never gonna leave our hearts, Blaze. Never."

 

"Do ya think she knew how much we loved her, Bumlets?"

 

"A coise she did," he responded and brushed a curl from Blaze's face. "And we're always gonna love her. She's our very first baby. Nothin' can change dat."

 

For a long time the couple sat and gazed at their baby. Both wanted to remember each and every detail of Michaela while they still had her near. A small knock at the door finally broke the silence in the room.

 

Nine already? Bumlets had to double-check the watch to be sure. Eight-fifty. How could the time go by so fast?

 

Bumlets kissed Blaze's forehead before standing up. "Mrs. Lewis must be here."

 

As Bumlets hadn't explained the plans for the next morning, Blaze brought her baby closer to her chest, afraid that these were the last few minutes she had with Michaela.

 

"Mornin'," Mrs. Lewis greeted. "How are you two doing?"

 

Bumlets let her in the room and sighed. "We're okay, considerin', I guess," he answered.

 

Mrs. Lewis patted his shoulder and walked over towards Blaze. "Aw honey." Tears were already filling her eyes. She sat down on the bed and took Blaze's hand. Her words came gently and with comfort. She'd delivered many babies in her life, but no matter how many times this happened, it was never any easier. "I'm so sorry. The moment Sorrow and I saw her, we both remarked on how beautiful she is. Did you pick out a name?"

 

"Michaela," Blaze answered.

 

"That's a wonderful name." Motioning for Bumlets to sit with them, Mrs. Lewis started to explain what was next. Blaze needed to rest today, and so she had tried to find a place to hold the funeral the next day. The only problem was that tomorrow was Thanksgiving. No one wanted to bury someone on that day, and especially when the couple didn't have that much money to pay for the service in the first place.

 

"The only church that will hold the funeral tomorrow is a small one east of here," she informed them. As she went on to explain the costs and the procedure, Blaze couldn't believe she was really listening to the funeral plans of her child born only hours ago.

 

"I've arranged to hold the service tomorrow morning, at ten o'clock. Our Lady of the Scapular is located on the corner of Catherine and Monroe. Do you think you'll be able to get over there alright?"

 

"Wait, what was da name of da church again?" Bumlets interrupted. He'd been trying to listen, but at the same time he was watching Blaze and their little girl.

 

"Our Lady of the Scapular. I thought that would be a proper place to hold the services. The entire group over there is so nice, and the choir owes me lots of favors because I've delivered most of their children," she smiled. "But if you don't want to do them there, I can search some more for you."

 

"Blaze, did ya hear dat?" Bumlets smiled.

 

Confused, Blaze shook her head. "Hear what?"

 

"Blaze, she'll be buried where me parents are," Bumlets explained. "She won't be alone." He noticed her face brighten a little and inwardly sighed with relief. Bumlets' father had died from the long trip to Manhattan while his wife was still pregnant with Bumlets, and his mother had passed away when he was only six. Long before his mother had died, she made certain that when the time came, she would rest near her husband and that wish was carried out at the very church Mrs. Lewis had mentioned.

 

Taking Bumlets' hand in one of her own, and Blaze's in the other, Mrs. Lewis smiled. "I'll see if I can get a plot near your parents then."

 

Bumlets was elated that Michaela would be close to his own family. He only hoped Blaze really would feel better about things now, if only slightly. "Thank-you, for everything."

 

Nodding once, Mrs. Lewis squeezed his hand and smiled. "Before I leave I'd like to make sure Blaze is alright. Would you help her onto the bed?"

 

"Sure." Bumlets gently picked Blaze up into his arms, their baby safely cradled near Blaze's chest, and set her down on the bed.

 

"Why don't you let Bumlets hold her for a few minutes?" Mrs. Lewis suggested.

 

Obliging, Blaze let Bumlets take their infant before her midwife made sure everything was fine after the delivery. "Your body is doing exactly what it's supposed to. You should feel like stealing someone's hat in about two weeks or so."

 

Bumlets made sure to listen closely to everything Mrs. Lewis explained. After the loss of their baby, he had to make sure he kept Blaze in the best possible health, and he wasn't completely sure she would be able to do that on her own.

 

The next step was the hardest for all three of them. Mrs. Lewis explained that she would have to take Michaela now if they wanted to have the funeral tomorrow. If they postponed the funeral, there was no telling when they might have another chance to have one, since their monetary sources were so small.

 

She left the grieving couple alone to say their final farewells to Michaela, and made it quite clear that she would wait outside for as long as they needed.

 

Bumlets helped Blaze sit up on the bed and he crawled in beside her after placing Michaela back in her arms.

 

"I don't wanna let her go, not yet," Blaze pleaded.

 

"I know, sweetheart, I know." Bumlets felt helpless and he hated it. Even while Mrs. Lewis had discussed funeral plans, Bumlets had held onto the hope that this was all a bad dream, and when he woke up, he'd hear the crying of their healthy baby.

 

"What if we don't remember what she looks like? What if we start to forget her?"

 

Bumlets ran his coarse fingers through Blaze's hair. "Dat's never gonna happen, I promise. We'll always remember her."

 

Blaze brought Michaela closer and watched while Bumlets held his daughter's hand. She didn't want the last image of her baby to be of Michaela being taken from her arms, and started to weep. Her head against Bumlets' shoulder, Blaze remembered everything she could about her short time with their daughter. This couldn't be the way things ended, and that gave her an idea.

 

"Bumlets, do me one last favor?"

 

"What is it?"

 

"I wanna remember her da way I first saw her, when ya was sittin' in da chair, singin' to her. Please?"

 

Bumlets didn't know what to say at first. Before Michaela was born he had always dreamt of singing to their baby as often as he could. He loved the idea of being able to do it one last time. "I'd like that," he smiled through tears. Bumlets kissed Blaze's cheek before climbing out of bed and watched as she cradled Michaela close once more.

 

Blaze tried to burn the image of Michaela into her mind as best she could. "Love you," she whispered and softly kissed her newborn's forehead. She motioned to Bumlets to take her, for if she held on any longer she would never let go.

 

Bumlets lifted Michaela from her arms and settled into the rocking chair. As Blaze watched from the bed, Bumlets sang the only other Spanish lullaby he could remember his mother singing to him as a small boy. He wished the song would go one forever, but eventually he had reached the end, and Bumlets knew it was time to say goodbye.

 

Slowly he stood, and hesitated in case Blaze wasn't ready yet, but when she dropped her head and nodded, Bumlets knew it was time to take Michaela to Mrs. Lewis.

 

He heard the sheets rustle as Blaze turned away once he opened the door, and did his best not to look back at her as he proceeded out to the hallway. He knew if he made eye contact that he would rush the baby back to her arms instantly.

 

Mrs. Lewis stood up from the chair once she heard the door open. "Are you ready?" she asked, making sure. She refused to take a baby from the parents unless they were completely ready to part with their infant.

 

Bumlets nodded. "Thank-you, again." He looked down at his baby and smiled sadly. "Goodbye sweetheart," he whispered before delicately handing Michaela to Mrs. Lewis, who gently bundled her up in the blankets once she set her in a small basket.

 

"There's no need for thanking," Mrs. Lewis assured him. "I just hope everything works out for you two, and I want you to know you can always fetch me if you need me. Remember that."

 

"I will." Bumlets had one more question for her before he returned to Blaze. "I was wonderin', I know we don't have much money, but I was hopin' ta put somethin' on her headstone, besides just her name."

 

"I think that can be arranged. What is it?"

 

Bumlets withdrew a small piece of paper from his pocket. "I wrote it last night, while Blaze was asleep. I think she'll like it, but I want it to be a surprise." Before handing her the paper, Bumlets scribbled Michaela's full name on the top.

 

"Then I better make sure it gets inscribed correctly," Mrs. Lewis smiled. "Bumlets, I want to hear from you often. After tomorrow, don't think I will forget about you. Sorrow and I still chat regularly, and the same goes for you and Blaze. Don't make me come over here and hunt you down, okay?"

 

"I promise," he answered, glad to have her willing to provide them comfort as well.

 

"I will see you both tomorrow, then." Giving his shoulder a consoling pat, Mrs. Lewis started towards the stairs, tears welling in her eyes as she carried Michaela with her.

 

Bumlets couldn't stand to watch her leave, and immediately returned to the sick room. Blaze was curled up, facing away from the door, and he could hear her softly crying. Soon he was wrapping his arms around her, and the two stayed there for the rest of the day - consoling each other, and crying.

 

****

 

Michaela Jade Cantolla

You are truly our daughter, our first baby born, but from our loving arms, you were too early torn.

November 28th, 1900

 

After numerous hugs and condolences, the small crowd of Lower Manhattan and East Side Newsies left Blaze and Bumlets alone to say one last goodbye to Michaela before heading home.

 

Bumlets hadn't taken his arms away from Blaze except to thank the Newsies for coming and to hug Mrs. Lewis. Now his arms were wrapped around his girl again while they stared at their baby's grave.

 

Containing his tears during the ceremony, Bumlets didn't have any strength left to hold back. Pressing a kiss to Blaze's forehead, Bumlets hugged her tightly before he started to cry.

 

Tears spilling from her own eyes, Blaze held onto Bumlets as tight as she could. "I miss her," she whispered and broke into sobs against Bumlets chest.

 

When Bumlets had composed himself, he pulled away from her just enough to look into Blaze's eyes. "We can come see her as often as ya like. And we'll always have her in our hearts, ya know."

 

Blaze nodded, but deep down she wished she had something material as well to remember Michaela by. They had buried her in the clothes Bumlets picked out months ago, and that was the only physical reminder Blaze could think of. She wanted something to keep with her, wherever she went, but that wasn't possible.

 

"It's gettin' cold sweetheart. Would ya like to stay here awhile longer or start walkin' home?"

 

"I-I guess we should head home," Blaze mumbled. Without our baby. She felt like she was leaving her daughter forever.

 

Bumlets squeezed Blaze's hand. He led her closer to the tiny grave and knelt down. "Goodbye for now, my angel." Help me watch over your mother, okay? "I love you."

 

Blaze couldn't bring herself to say anything. She watched Bumlets in silence as he ran his fingers over the name etched in the headstone. Once he was upright, Blaze pulled his arms around her before her head was buried into the warmth of his chest.

 

"Come now, before we both freeze out here." Bumlets slipped his arms around Blaze and delicately picked her up. Mrs. Lewis had been concerned about the long walk so soon after her delivery, and Bumlets didn't want to take any chances.

 

The walk home was silent, as both parents were speechless. Blaze had shielded her face from the wind by turning into Bumlets' chest, and several times she would look up to see Bumlets with tears in his eyes. Wiping them away each time with her trembling fingers, Blaze wished she could have done better for him by somehow saving their child.

 

****

 

Upon entering the lodging house, Blaze wanted to rush up to someplace private and just cry. But privacy wasn't a factor in such a place. She never wanted to step foot in the sick room again, as it would only remind her of the pain she felt from losing her child.

 

Bumlets wanted to be alone with Blaze, but how? He couldn't very well ask an entire lodging house to stay out of a room, could he? It was too cold outside, and he was certain Blaze would not feel comfortable in the sick room. Setting her down gently, Bumlets searched for a way to get some privacy.

 

Bumlets gripped to her hand and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Where would ya like to rest? I'm sure that's in order for both of us."

 

Shrugging her shoulders, Blaze hung her head. Before she could utter an answer, Jack interrupted them.

 

"Say Bums, I was wonderin' if ya could help me real quick."

 

"Now?" Bumlets asked incredulously. All he wanted to do was grieve with Blaze, and whether or not that was selfish, Bumlets didn't care.

 

"I'm sorry. It'll just take a sec, okay?"

 

"Go on," Blaze muttered and broke free of his firm grip. "I'll wait in da lobby."

 

Most of the Newsies were eagerly watching the scenario, for Bumlets didn't know that Jack was actually going to show him a surprise they had been working on since news of the baby's death.

 

Blaze sat on the couch next to Sorrow, who immediately wrapped her arms around the sullen figure. Burying her head in Sorrow's shoulder, Blaze closed her eyes tightly.

 

Bumlets grew impatient. "Well, what is it?"

 

"Dis way," Jack answered and led him down the hall. Besides the kitchen, Kloppman's office and room, and the lobby, there was a small room at the end of the hall that usually held broken chairs or bed frames. It was originally intended for the use of the owner's children, if he or she had any, but since Kloppman's only child had long since grown and married, the room became solely for storage.

 

"If ya need help carryin' somethin', why not ask one of the others?" Now Bumlets was irritated. Couldn't Jack see what he was going through?

 

"I couldn't, cause, well, just take a look, alright?" Jack turned the handle to the door and pushed it open.

 

Inside, the room was cleared of any old furniture or things that Kloppman couldn't find another place for. Instead there was a bed in the corner, a small, dusty, chestnut-colored dresser across the room from the bed, a mahogany-colored chair at the foot of the bed, and plain white curtains hanging from the one window in the room.

 

Dumbfounded, Bumlets stammered to speak. "Wh-what is dis?"

 

"It's for you and Blaze. We carted all da stuff in here up to da attic, and fixed up one of the bigger beds. We all thought ya might want some privacy, and Kloppman took to da idea rather well."

 

"I-I don't know what ta say, Jack."

 

"Just say you'll take da room, and tell us if ya need anythin'. Deal?" Jack held out his hand and Bumlets gripped it firmly before pulling him into a brotherly hug.

 

By the time they let go, Sorrow had escorted Blaze down the hallway.

 

"What's goin' on?" Blaze questioned. "Everythin' alright?"

 

Bumlets smiled and took her hand. "Everythin' is just fine. Look Blaze, dis room is for us ta stay in for awhile."

 

"Really? Ya mean it?"

 

"Yeah, we do," Sorrow smiled.

 

Blaze was so overcome by the generosity of her friends that her eyes started to tear. "Thank-you."

 

Jack smiled at their reaction. "Yer welcome." All the Newsies just wanted to do something to make the couple feel more comfortable, and it seemed they had found just the thing. "Da girls are gonna be workin' on Thanksgivin' dinner all afternoon, and if its alright, we'll knock on da door when its ready."

 

"That sounds wonderful, thanks," Bumlets replied. He started to lead Blaze into the room when Sorrow stopped them.

 

"Oh, and Mrs. Lewis dropped off an envelope a little while ago. It's sittin' on da dresser."

 

"Okay," Bumlets nodded. After all Mrs. Lewis had done for the two, Bumlets had no idea what she could have possibly left for them.

 

After he shut the door, he helped Blaze to sit on the bed before picking up the envelope. "Want me ta open it, or do you wanna?"

 

"Go ahead," Blaze answered as she pulled off her dirty boots. Blaze heard the rustling of the envelope and then silence. Once her boots were placed aside she looked up to see Bumlets staring at what he was holding.

 

"What did she drop off?"

 

Too astounded to speak right away, Bumlets rushed to the bed and sat down. "A reminder of our baby." In his hand was a gorgeous picture of Michaela.

 

"How… but when did she…" Blaze stuttered as she marveled at the picture. It's just what I needed.

 

Bumlets handed Blaze the photograph and proceeded to untie his own boots. "We'll hafta think of somethin' nice ta do for her one of these days."

 

"I like that idea," Blaze agreed as she ran her fingers over the photo.

 

"Ya wanna rest awhile?" They had barely slept in two days, and a good rest in their new room seemed like a perfect idea.

 

"Okay." Blaze let Bumlets gently lay her down on the bed and curled up in his arms. She pressed the photograph to her chest, not wanting to let it go while she slept.

 

"I love you, Dominic," she mumbled into his chest. I'm sorry I lost your baby.

 

"I love you too, Gabrielle." Brushing through her hair tenderly, Bumlets held her closer.

 

Shutting her eyelids, Blaze saw her daughter resting peacefully in her arms. The image made tears rush to her eyes, but she was so tired that soon she was drifting off towards sleep.

 

Bumlets continued to stroke through her hair, but as he watched her sleep, his own eyelids became heavier by the second. As the aroma of a small Thanksgiving dinner started to flood throughout the lodging house, Bumlets closed his eyes and let his body finally rest.

 

****

"Ya think dey're asleep?" Slingshot asked after several light taps on the door.

 

Snitchberries shrugged. "Well, try one more time and if dey don't open we'll come back later."

 

Again Slingshot knocked on the door, but to no avail. "I guess we should let 'em sleep."

 

The two girls turned around with the plates of food and glasses, and started back towards the kitchen, but when they heard a door creak open, they stopped.

 

"Sorry, I didn't hear ya for awhile," Bumlets mumbled and yawned. Sporting an untucked shirt, ruffled hair, and half-open eyes, he was a sight that the girls had trouble not giggling at.

 

"We brought somethin' ta eat, if yer hungry," Snitchberries smiled. The two held out their plates, each stacked with turkey, mashed potatoes, and assorted vegetables.

 

"And don't forget da cider," Slingshot added. "Thanksgivin' dinner ain't complete widout it." The cups were only half full, but the Newsies had spent more of their earnings on food then drinks, since water was an affordable substitute. While the turkey had come from a local donation society, everything else was purchased by either the Newsies themselves or by Kloppman.

 

"I'm starved. Come on in," Bumlets smiled and opened the door for them.

 

Blaze was still slumbering peacefully on the bed and Bumlets wasn't so sure he wanted to wake her up. She needed all the sleep she could get. Placing a finger to his lips, he motioned to her sleepy figure before the girls were in the room.

 

Slingshot and Snitchberries placed the dishes on the dresser and smiled consolingly at Bumlets. They led him over to the door to speak out of Blaze's hearing range.

 

"We'll come back in awhile ta grab da plates, alright?" Slingshot informed him.

 

"That sounds fine," Bumlets agreed. "Thanks."

 

Once Bumlets had shut the door, he picked up the chair from the foot of the bed and set it near the dresser. The smell of food was intoxicating and before long Bumlets had eaten half of what was on his plate.

 

"Mmph… Bums?"

 

His mouth full, Bumlets turned to see Blaze struggling to keep her eyes open. "Hey," he mumbled and swallowed what was still left in his mouth before continuing. "Ya still sleepy, or ya want some dinner?"

 

"Not hungry," she muttered and rolled over so her back faced him. How can he eat now? She was upset that food was more important to him than grieving, but that foolish thought quickly went away an instant later.

 

The bed shifted as Bumlets climbed in beside her, one arm cautiously slipping around her dismal figure. He didn't know what to say to her. What could possibly make her feel any better? As she turned to face him, Bumlets stroked through her hair, his face one of concern and bereavement.

 

"Go finish yer supper," Blaze instructed, her voice stern.

 

Bumlets couldn't help but chuckle. "And what if I'm full?"

 

"I know dat ain't true," Blaze retorted and lightly poked his stomach. "I bet it's beggin' for more food."

 

"What about your own?" Bumlets countered. "Don't ya wanna keep me company while I stuff me face?"

 

"I really ain't hungry. I'll watch ya eat, how bout that?"

 

"What if I feed ya, I could do that," he offered. "Dis turkey is da best I've ever had."

 

"Nope, won't work. Ain't hungry," she refused.

 

Bumlets pouted. "Not even if I feed ya wid me own hands? Aw Blaze, dat's cruel."

 

"Well tough," she answered and stuck out her tongue. "Would ya eat already?"

 

Bumlets hugged her close. He had missed their silly banter, and by the way Blaze acted towards him now he had hope they would eventually heal from the past few days. "Okay, I'll eat, but only cause ya said to."

 

Kissing her cheek, Bumlets returned to the dresser where he busily worked at clearing his plate. Though he wanted to eat slowly and savor each and every bite, his stomach would not allow it, and soon the plate was empty.

 

"I didn't think ya'd literally stuff yer face," Blaze remarked.

 

Blushing, Bumlets could only shrug his shoulders. "I said I was hungry," he answered simply.

 

Blaze rolled her eyes teasingly. "Indeed."

 

"Hey, I can be hungry. It's not a crime," he pointed out.

 

Blaze glanced at his stomach. "Uh huh, sure."

 

Bumlets looked down, then back to her. "What?" he frowned. "Whatcha lookin' at?"

 

"Nothin'. I'm just thinkin' of how much hat stealin' I'll have to do ta get ya back in shape after eatin' so much." Blaze saw his eyes widen and a sly smirk form on his face, and she hid under the covers.

 

"Dat deserves a ticklin'."

 

"No! I take it back!" Blaze squealed from under the sheets.

 

Bumlets sprang towards the bed, but climbed under the covers slowly, since he knew Blaze was still sore. Blaze had positioned herself so her back was facing him and stiffened as she felt his hands go around her.

 

Tickling her for only a brief moment, Bumlets gently turned Blaze so she was facing him again. "I ain't dat chubby, am I?"

 

Just to taunt him further, Blaze hesitated to answer. "Um…" She saw Bumlets pout and shook her head. "Nah, ya ain't chubby at all."

 

Bumlets kissed her nose. "I like dat answer." He heard her sigh and frowned. "Tired?"

 

"Yeah," she mumbled. Blaze felt guilty for joking around after this morning, and promptly buried her head in his chest. She thought grieving was defined as this feeling of sadness and emptiness, and that it was wrong to laugh until she came to grips with things.

 

"Why don't ya get some more sleep, sweetheart," Bumlets suggested.

 

Nodding, Blaze shifted in his arms and slowly closed her eyes. She didn't like resting, because the first moments before she was slumbering consisted of the last images of her daughter and she would wind up crying herself to sleep, but her body insisted she recuperate, and despite how stubborn she was, her body won in the end.

 

Bumlets watched her rest, but he couldn't bring himself to close his own eyes. Watching her cry was one of the hardest things he had ever dealt with, and as the time passed, he felt like he would crumble at any moment. He needed some air, and time to think things through, not to mention compose himself.

 

Once Blaze had drifted back to sleep, Bumlets quietly slid out from the bed and pulled the covers around her. He knew leaving her alone wasn't an option, so once he made sure she was safely tucked in, Bumlets went in search of someone to watch her.

 

He heard the Newsies all gathered in the lobby, remarking on the amount of food they had in their bellies, and whispering about the prior unfortunate events. Sighing, Bumlets made his way towards the room and stood next to the couch.

 

Soon, all eyes were on him, and the expressions he received were ones of sadness, understanding, and sympathy. No one knew what to say to him, and Bumlets decided to speak up first.

 

"Say, I was gonna head up to the roof for a few minutes, just ta get some air, could someone keep an eye on Blaze? She doesn't know I'm gone."

 

Most of the girls began to speak up at the same time, and Bumlets smiled at the support he received. "Why don't ya all just go visit wid her for awhile?"

 

"Sure thing, Bums," Snitchberries smiled, and quickly, one by one, the girls got up to clear their plates and venture into the couple's room.

 

****

 

The roof had often been a great place of solace for both Blaze and Bumlets when they wanted to gaze at the stars or just spend time together, but now Bumlets found himself seeking out its alleviation for other means. He refused to break down in front of Blaze, knowing that if he crumbled, there was no way she would be able to hold together.

 

While resting his back against the warm brick wall of the chimney, Bumlets pulled his knees towards his chest. What kind of cruel world lets two people eagerly await the birth of their infant, only to take it from them the instant it enters the cradle of humanity? He now had the title of father, but that's all he had - a title with no attachments, no baby to care for or play with - just a memory of a few hours with a child that would never wake up.

 

It was Thanksgiving, of all holidays, and he sat alone on the roof, eyes filled with tears, and heart aching. "What kind of goddamn Thanksgiving is this!" he shouted into the night.

 

"A tough one."

 

Angered that he wasn't alone any longer, Bumlets turned towards the voice. "What?"

 

"A tough one," the firm voice answered.

 

"Who's there?" Bumlets demanded. Not only was he upset because he was disturbed, but he was also embarrassed to have someone overhear his bellowing.

 

The figure in the darkness crossed their arms, and Bumlets grew impatient. He didn't want or need to play games now - he needed to sort things out. "Well if ya ain't gonna show ya face den beat it!" he snapped.

 

"Now I know dat ain't da voice of da man who I let Blaze leave wid a few months ago."

 

Bumlets blinked his eyes only to see the shape moving closer. The first thing he made out were braids swinging in the wind, which clued him in to who it was. "Winter?"

 

"Da one and only," she grinned. Once out of the shadows, Winter plopped down next to Bumlets and nudged him.

 

"I thought ya went back ta East Side," Bumlets mumbled and turned his head. Maybe she would take the hint that he was not up to talking at the moment.

 

"Well, I hung around dere 'til dinner, and den carted meself over here," she replied.

 

"Great," he muttered. "Now could ya go away?"

 

"Well, ain't dat a great welcome," Winter miffed.

 

"Sorry," Bumlets grumbled. "Well, why don't ya go hang out wid da goils den?"

 

"Nah, dis is much more fun," Winter smiled. "Plus I wanted ta see how ya was doin', unless I ain't allowed, dat is."

 

"I'm just fine," Bumlets answered quickly and feigned a huge grin. "So now dat we got dat straight, how 'bout leavin' a guy alone?"

 

"Touchy," Winter remarked as she backed off slightly. Still, she wanted to give her 'tough love' approach another go. Bumlets was holding a great deal in, and she was well aware of it.

 

"Yeah, so? And yer point is?"

 

"My point is, stop sittin' here like yer never gonna see another day, dat's me point." She saw Bumlets start to retort and stopped him. "You need to get dis out, Bums, ya need to sit down and yell for a long time, or run around in circles, or anythin' dat will work. Just sittin' here and thinkin' about it won't solve anythin'."

 

"And I suppose you just know da answer ta everythin', don't ya," he groused and rolled his eyes.

 

"Ha, I wish I did. Life would be a lot easier on me den," Winter acknowledged.

 

"Well, since ya don't, why not let me sit here and deal wid it on me own?"

 

"Right, let you drown in your sorrows on a roof alone. Hmm, good idea? I think not." Winter tightened her crossed arms and shook her head.

 

"Why won't you leave me alone!" he yelled.

 

"Because you're hurtin' right now and da last thing ya need is ta be sittin' up on da freezin' roof mullin' over what went wrong!" she yelled back.

 

"What if I wanna sit up here?! Ya have no right ta stop me! What if I wanna freeze ta death?! Who asked you if it was a good idea! What if I wanna figure out why we got punished, why our kid was da one to die! It ain't fair, goddamn it! It ain't fair dat Blaze went through all dat just ta have her daughter die! It ain't fair dat I waited all dese months ta take care of a baby dat ain't even here no more!" Bumlets hardly stopped for air. He had so much hidden within him that needed to come out, and he wasn't finished yet.

 

"Why was it our kid? Why! What da hell did we do ta deserve somethin' like dis?! Did I not want her enough?! Did I not love her enough?! Huh? What the hell did I do to deserve goin' through dis? You don't see da pain in Blaze's eyes! I have to look at that all da time now! Me! I'm da one dat has to keep things tagether, and its friggin' hard! I can't deal wid it! I can't! I don't want to feel like dis! I don't want to have to remember me first baby like dis! It's not da way its supposed ta be!" he screamed.

 

The entire time Winter remained calm and collected, her green eyes never leaving Bumlets' enraged expression. Bumlets was weeding out anguish that he had pushed far down, and it was finally surfacing.

 

"Was dis some test? Is dat what dis is? Some sick test ta see if I love Blaze enough? I'd do anythin' ta make her happy! I wanted us ta be a family! I want ta marry her, and spend every day wid her! Now what am I supposed ta do? My child is dead! How am I supposed ta go on? How am I supposed ta have another kid after this? How! How is dat fair ta Michaela? I never even got a chance ta watch her smile at me, or rock her to sleep, or take her to da park, or… watch her grow up…"

 

Taking a breath, Bumlets started to calm down, his voice rasping, and tears forming in his eyes. "I'm a goddamn asshole… dat's what I am. I got Blaze pregnant, den made her go through dis all. How can she love me now after what I did ta her? How can I ever tell her how sorry I am?" Burying his face in his hands, Bumlets couldn't hold back sobs. He couldn't cry this hard in front of Blaze, but now with her safely inside, his emotions took control. "I screwed her life up."

 

Winter shook her head. "Yer not an asshole, ya hear me? You are no such thing." As Bumlets shook his head, Winter put her arm on his shoulder, and he slowly took his hands away from his face.

 

"So life is a little messed up right now…" she paused and saw him frown at her. "Okay, really messed up. But that's no reason to sit out here and debate over what ya did wrong, or what ya didn't do, or what ya could have done different. Sittin' out here ain't gonna change what happened, no matter how hard you wish it to change. It's not going to."

 

"What da hell kinda answer is that?" he glared. "Is dat supposed ta make me feel better?"

 

"How could ya even question what Blaze feels for you? Did you even see the way she looked at you today at da church? Each time ya had to leave her side to talk ta someone, all she did was look after you. Hell, I could hardly get her ta look at me cause she was starin' in yer direction!"

 

Bumlets hung his head, shaking it slowly. He wasn't convinced. "She was probably upset at me!"

 

"Oh? And what about when she was over in East Side? Ya remember how ya found her?"

 

"What about it?"

 

"What was she doin'? Starin' out da window. She had been doin' that ever since she left dis place. At first, she wouldn't talk ta no one. Later on, I tried ta console her, since we all knew somethin' was wrong. Finally one day she opened up ta me. It wasn't much, but it was enough. She told me all about dis wonderful man whom she was madly in love wid. On and on she went. I bet I know a lot more about ya den you could imagine. She never really went into why she left, but she always talked about Bumlets. It was Bumlets dis and Bumlets dat." Winter smiled at the recollection. "Sometimes I felt like thwacking her, but den I saw dat look in her eyes. She only had dis look when she was talkin' about you. It was never there when we talked about anythin' else, and was probably da only reason I wouldn't smack her for babblin' about a boy."

 

"But dat was den. Dat was before we lost Michaela. Things can change, ya know," Bumlets pointed out grimly.

 

"Oh really? So after all dis Blaze just fell out of love wid ya?" She saw Bumlets nod and smacked his arm.

 

"Ouch!" Grabbing his arm, Bumlets sneered at her. "What was dat for?"

 

"Bumlets, I was at da funeral dis mornin'. She looked at you dat same way. I'd say dat dreamy look was sickening if I didn't have Dutchy, cause I'm sure I do it too." Winter chuckled and shook her head. "Da point is, she needs you, now more than ever, and you need ta understand dat like or not, she loves ya to pieces. That's not gonna change cause of dis, I mean it."

 

Bumlets glanced up at Winter and sighed. "Why us?"

 

Winter was amazed to see how vulnerable Bumlets looked right then. Taking his frigid hands into her own, Winter sighed. "I can't answer dat, and I don't know anyone dat can. But you have to trust dat things will get better - trust dat in time you'll have da family you want, wid Blaze. But now ya have da chance to be there for her, and let her be there for ya too, so you both can cope wid dis, okay?"

 

Shivering as the winds picked up, Bumlets nodded his head. "I just wish we had our daughter here, and dat everythin' was alright again."

 

"It will be alright, in time," Winter answered. "Now what say we go back inside before we both freeze into statues?"

 

Agreeing, Bumlets helped Winter up and the two carefully made their way back into the warmer lodging house. They walked towards the small room, and could hear the girls inside chattering away like there was no tomorrow.

 

"Dis should be interestin'," Winter smirked.

 

Bumlets opened the door to see the girls all piled onto the bed, their eyes on Smalls and the story she was retelling.

 

"Man, I'll never forget Bumlets' face dat day, remember?" Smalls remarked. Some of the girls nodded, while some shook their heads, all eager to hear her continue.

 

"And just what is goin' on in here?" Bumlets asked.

 

Turning their heads, the girls all looked like they had been caught by their mother with their hands in the cookie jar.

 

"We were just talkin' 'bout dat time ya fell off da chair while playin' poker, remember?" Smalls smirked.

 

Bumlets felt his cheeks flush. "Why are we talkin' about dat?" He walked closer to the bed and saw Blaze crumpled between Slinks and Luna. "I think Blaze needs her rest now."

 

"But I wanna hear da story," Blaze pouted. Her head rested on Luna's shoulder while Slinks had her head on Blaze's. All the girls toted a tissue in their hand, as they had wavered back and forth from tears of sorrow and laughter during their visit.

 

Winter nudged Bumlets' side. "And so do I," she smirked and grabbed the lone chair in the room.

 

"But, you girls promised never ta speak of dis again after it happened," he argued. As all he caught were smirks, Bumlets sighed. He knew Blaze didn't know this story yet, and while it was going to highly amuse her, Bumlets prepared to be laughed at. Though he wanted to hold Blaze, the girls blocked his way to her side, and he chose to sit atop the dresser instead. "Fine, one story, den she gets her rest."

 

"As I was sayin', it was a long, long time ago. Blaze wasn't even datin' Bumlets yet." She smirked and turned to Blaze. "Now, we all knew she had dis huge crush on him." Once she uttered those words Blaze blushed and hid her face in Luna's shoulder.

 

"Yeah, boy did she ever!" Amanda blurted out, giggling.

 

The girls turned to Bumlets, who already had his head turned from the group and his cheeks crimson in color.

 

"She used ta purposely wait in da lobby for you ta come back from sellin', only ta see ya walk across da room to wherever ya was going," Hart remembered.

 

"I could have had some fun teasin' her if I was here then," Whiskey smirked.

 

"Yeah, good thing ya weren't," Cats voiced. "Who knows what ya would have done."

 

Whiskey just grinned as Smalls continued. "So anyway, as I was sayin', dat one night dere was dis poker game. It wasn't a real big game. Race was dere, of course, and some of da other boys, includin' our very own Bumlets. Now, if I remember correctly, Blaze and Slick had just got home from causin' a little trouble."

 

"In other words Slick was callin' Spot a Bony Butt and Blaze was helpin' her get away," Luna chimed in.

 

Slick beamed. "Well, he is a Bony Butt."

 

Smalls cleared her throat and went on. "So dey just came in da door, and was all out of breath from runnin' back, and laughin' up a storm. I remember I was sittin' on da couch and had just looked up to see Race win another game. He was whoopin' like he always does…"

 

"Sore winner," Mayhem interjected with a grumble and the girls laughed.

 

"Yeah, dat he is," Firecracker smirked.

 

"Let her finish already!" Bumlets whined. All he received from that comment were evil-looking grins. Shaking his head, Bumlets looked out the window as Smalls kept talking.

 

"Blaze and Slick started walkin' towards the lobby, and Bumlets looked up. He was seriously lookin' over Blaze."

 

"I was not!" Bumlets protested.

 

"Oh yes, you were," Slinks recalled.

 

"Ugh," Bumlets buried his head in his hands. How embarrassing can dis get? He was thankful that at least the boys weren't here to whoop and holler once the story was over.

 

"So here's da best part," Smalls grinned. "Slick and Blaze were headed towards the lobby and dey talked to Mayhem for a sec, and den dey started walkin' up da stairs. Well, Bumlets was still gawkin' at Blaze." At this point Smalls was trying to finish through laughter. "He must have figured out how he felt about her right den, 'cause he really wasn't payin' attention to anythin' but Blaze, and he started to lean back in his chair. All da sudden, crash! He tumbled over and smacked his head right against da floor."

 

"I could have just fallen," Bumlets pointed out loudly through the laughter. "It might not have been because of Blaze."

 

As the girls gave him a scrutinizing look, Bumlets sighed. "Okay, it was because of Blaze. Happy now?"

 

Bursting into giggles, the girls nodded and watched as Blaze still had her head buried in Luna's shoulder. She turned her head to watch them laugh and smiled slightly, tears running down her cheeks. It was nice to hear the story, but Blaze had mixed feelings about it. Bumlets had loved her so much, and she lost his baby. She felt like such a horrid person for doing that to him

 

"And now we should give Blaze some rest," Winter instructed as the room calmed down.

 

One by one the girls said their goodbye's to Bumlets and Blaze before leaving the small room. Winter lagged behind and sat down on the bed. "How ya feelin'? Bumlets doin' a good job of watchin' over ya?"

 

Blaze nodded. "Yeah, he is. I'm okay, I guess."

 

Winter pulled Blaze into a hug as they both had tears in their eyes. "I'm gonna stick around here tanight. I'll see ya in da mornin'."

 

"Aw, yer just here for Dutchy," Blaze teased lightly.

 

Winter grinned. "Well, he was an incentive ta come, but da real reason is for you two. Now get some sleep."

 

"Night Winter," Bumlets called out once Winter neared the door.

 

"Goodnight," she answered and quietly shut the creaking door behind her.

 

Bumlets untied his boots and sat on the bed to take them off. "Yer not gonna laugh at me too, are ya?" he pouted.

 

Blaze shook her head. "Nah, I'll wait 'til later for dat."

 

Frowning, Bumlets climbed into bed and carefully pulled Blaze into his arms. "I just had ta fall in love wid someone who would be so mean ta me," he teased. "Takes me hat, ruffles me horrible head of hair, and makes fun of how much I love her," he remarked and kissed her nose.

 

And loses yer baby. "I'm sorry," Blaze whispered. "I won't make fun of ya."

 

"How 'bout not takin' me hat?" he added.

 

"Don't count on it."

 

Bumlets tickled her side briefly. "Love you."

 

Burying her head in the comfort of his chest, Blaze closed her eyes. "Love you more," she mumbled. Could he really love her after the loss of their baby? Blaze still felt immensely responsible for Michaela's death, and she doubted if she could ever really make him happy.

 

Bumlets stroked through Blaze's hair as his body started to settle down. He heard her calm breathing and knew she was nearing sleep. "Love ya most," he whispered under his breath as his eyes closed.

 

****

November had passed and December was already half over. Blaze and Bumlets had come to grips with the fact that their baby had died, and they would look at Michaela's picture, and talk about her everyday. Blaze was still plagued with nightmares on occasion, and Bumlets could be found looking out the window in tears sometimes, but they had overcome the initial shock and remorse, and were learning how to live again.

 

While Bumlets had returned to selling full-time a few days after the funeral, he coerced Blaze to rest another week, and then start selling only in mornings, just to make sure her body was fully ready to endure the strain again.

 

In the late afternoon, Blaze would await the return of Bumlets in their room, her mind usually tracing around the thought that she wasn't fit to be his wife. Marriage hadn't been brought up again since before Michaela was born, and Blaze wondered if the subject would ever surface in the future. The funeral costs had wiped away much of what they had saved and Blaze feared that now getting married was out of the question anyway, and that perhaps Bumlets didn't want to anymore. What if I can't provide him wid any children? What kind of wife would I be then? I'm a disappointment, just like me father said. I can never do anythin' right.

 

The door opened, breaking Blaze from her thoughts, and Bumlets strode into their room, his spirits high. "Hey sweetie, ya ready?" He had thought about taking Blaze out all day, and was glad it was finally time to do so.

 

"Yeah, all set," Blaze answered, feigning a wide smile. Ya deserve someone dat can give ya lots of healthy babies, not a screw up like me.

 

Bumlets took her hand and whisked her out to the frigid Manhattan weather. Keeping her as close to him as possible, the two made their way through the snow-covered streets.

 

"How come ya never tell me where we're goin'?" Blaze pouted, her teeth already starting to chatter.

 

"Because it ain't any fun when I tell ya!" Bumlets remarked and pulled her along. The sooner they were out of this weather, the better.

 

Blaze started to recognize the street they were going down and she gave him an inquiring look. "What's dis way?"

 

"You and yer questions," Bumlets chuckled. He led her up the few steps once they arrived at the correct building and knocked on the door.

 

Promptly the door opened, and they were greeted by Mrs. Lewis. "I was hoping you would stop by tonight, come on in," she smiled.

 

Blaze raised a brow at Bumlets. Just what did he have planned up his sleeve?

 

"Well, are you coming, or would you rather freeze out there?" their midwife called from the hall.

 

"We're comin'," Bumlets chuckled and led Blaze inside.

 

"What are we doin' here?" she whispered, obviously confused.

 

"Shh, you'll find out," was the only answer Bumlets give her.

 

"Come in, sit down, make yourselves at home," Mrs. Lewis smiled as she gestured to several chairs in the living room.

 

Once Blaze was seated, Bumlets sat beside her and took her hand.

 

"Now will ya tell me what dis is all about?" Blaze asked.

 

"Well," Mrs. Lewis started. "I believe Bumlets has something to ask you."

 

Blaze turned back to her boyfriend and eagerly waited for him to unveil this mystery.

 

Clearing his throat, Bumlets squeezed Blaze's hand in his own. "Um, Blaze, I was wonderin' if ya wouldn't mind getting me a certain Christmas present dis year."

 

"Dis is about presents?" Blaze asked, flabbergasted. She heard Mrs. Lewis suppress a chuckle and grew even more confused. Christmas was about a week away, and she didn't think they had any money to be discussing the purchase of gifts.

 

"Well, sorta," Bumlets continued. "Um, I mean, well…" he stammered. He was already engaged, why couldn't he just spit it out?

 

"Sorta?" Blaze asked. What in the world was he talking about?

 

"See, I wanted ya ta be me wife for Christmas. I wanna finally get married dis month," he explained and eagerly awaited her reaction.

 

"You…" Blaze stuttered. "You mean it?" She couldn't believe he really wanted to marry her after all that had happened.

 

Bumlets nodded. "A coise I do. Does dat mean you'll be me present?"

 

As an answer Blaze leaned towards Bumlets, hugging him tightly. At that moment Blaze was relieved to find out Bumlets really wanted to marry her, and Bumlets was feeling the same way. Any doubts the couple had about each other's love were banished from their minds the instant they locked in a strong hug.

 

"I'm glad that's settled," Mrs. Lewis smiled. "And I have some good news, since I'm sure you're wondering why Bumlets chose to ask you at my house."

 

Indeed curious as to why Bumlets had picked to tell her the news here, Blaze squeezed Bumlets' hand. "What's da news?"

 

"Well, I took the liberty of asking already the church and the date Bumlets picked out will be fine for the ceremony."

 

"When are we gonna marry?" Blaze asked, excited.

 

"December 23rd, right before Christmas," Bumlets beamed. "What do ya think?"

 

"But I thought dat priest was never available? Surely tons 'a people are gettin' hitched den," Blaze pointed out.

 

"Actually, I kinda figured we might want someone else ta do it," Bumlets explained. He saw Blaze raise her brow and continued. "I thought ya might like it better if we got married at Our Lady of the Scapular, wid da same priest who helped us wid da funeral."

 

"I…I love dat idea," Blaze agreed and rested her head on his shoulder. She knew what Bumlets was thinking, and it was the same thought running through her own mind. They could get married near their daughter and Bumlets' parents, and just the idea of them being close was all Blaze needed.

 

"Then it's all set. He has time that morning, at ten o'clock on the dot. We can work out any further plans during this week, but for now I want you two to go discuss your ideas, and then come back and visit."

 

After thanking Mrs. Lewis, Bumlets escorted Blaze back towards the lodging house. He smiled at the expression on her face. Having not seen her this happy since before Michaela was born, he had ached to help make the pain she felt subside.

 

Instead of heading straight for their room as the couple usually did, Blaze and Bumlets entered the lobby and sat down on the couch as they started to discuss plans for the wedding. One by one, more Newsies gathered around the couch and after an hour of conversing, they had the perfect, simple wedding planned for next week.

 

****

 

"Is everythin' set? Gawd we're gonna be late. We can't be late!" At nine o'clock on her wedding day, Blaze was frantically rushing around her room, unable to find everything she needed to take with her.

 

"I found it!" Sorrow screeched, holding up the picture of Michaela that Blaze had wanted to take with her. The couple's room had been turned upside down while they gathered everything needed for the wedding, and the baby's picture had fallen victim to a heap of clothing on the one chair in the room. After setting a little money aside, Bumlets had surprised Blaze by framing their daughter's photograph, and Blaze knew she wanted that picture to be displayed at their wedding.

 

"Let's get goin'!" Fire announced. "We're just gonna make it!"

 

While the men had gone ahead earlier this morning, Kloppman was going to take the girls over in a wagon a little later. Soon they had piled into the rickety, old cart and headed east towards the church. The weather was frigidly cold, but Blaze was too enthralled in what was about to happen to even notice the freezing air.

 

"Damn, Blaze," Mayhem huffed. "Ya had to pick da coldest day of da year ta get hitched." Pulling her shabby coat around her body tighter, Mayhem shivered as the snow began to fall. "I bet we go home in a blizzard later on."

 

"Now we know you've been hangin' around Race too long once ya start mentioning bets," Slick smirked and looked away as Mayhem glared at her.

 

Blaze had hardly noticed their banter. All she could think about was what was about to happen to her, and how happy she was that this day had finally come.

 

As they arrived at the church, the girls piled off the cart and ran into the warmth of the small building. The boys were hidden in one room, and Mrs. Lewis greeted the girls before escorting them to another room on the other side of the church.

 

"Everything is all set and ready to go. Any questions before we begin?" Mrs. Lewis asked.

 

Blaze shook her head. "I think ready," she answered. She had trouble standing still and the girls watched her with smiles.

 

"Save yer energy," Whiskey pointed out. "Da fun comes later tanight."

 

Whiskey ducked as Luna pitched the first thing she found in her direction.

 

"What? I never got ta tease 'em before. I gotta make up for it now," she smirked.

 

"Alright then, let's get started," Mrs. Lewis announced.

 

Mrs. Lewis left the room to get the service started, and Blaze turned to Sorrow who was smiling widely.

 

"Now no backin' out now," Sorrow joked.

 

Blaze nodded and hugged Sorrow tightly.

 

"Okay girls, come on."

 

"Oh no, da photo," Blaze remembered.

 

"No problem," Sorrow assured her. "I'll carry it up dere wid me and place it where it goes before you even walk down da aisle."

 

Right before the music started, the girls and boys from the lodging house walked to their seats, leaving only a few that were to walk down the aisle. Mrs. Lewis was to walk with Bumlets, Shelter with Sorrow, Dutchy with Winter, and finally Kloppman with Blaze.

 

The church was decorated with a few floral arrangements, just how Blaze had wanted it, and the only thing that took her eyes off the flowers was Bumlets waiting at the altar.

 

Blaze didn't care that most of the attendants were dressed in their everyday clothes, or that the suit Bumlets was wearing happened to be Kloppman's from ages ago. What mattered to her right now was the look on Bumlets' face as she approached him, and how his eyes never strayed from hers.

 

Though the ceremony was brief, Blaze couldn't have imagined a more perfect wedding. Race was, of course, taking bets over anything he could dream up, Charity was putting her moves on Jack, but Slingshot quickly intercepted her plans, and Blaze knew Whiskey had successfully concealed Jack Daniel's and was passing it out among the Newsies, but Blaze only smiled as she silently watched her friends' antics.

 

Afterwards, the newlyweds thanked the priest for finding time for the ceremony, and Mrs. Lewis for all the hard work she had yet again done for them. Along with the several Newsies from East Side that had come over, the Lower Manhattan Newsies all piled onto the cart to head back to the lodging house.

 

"Watch, now Bumlets will slip in dis snowstorm while tryin' ta carry Blaze up dose steps," Cats snickered. "Too bad we can't afford a camera."

 

The couple hadn't even heard Cats talking, as Bumlets was too busy holding Blaze close in the falling snow. Once they arrived at the lodging house, the Newsies piled out and ran for the door, seeking warmth as soon as possible.

 

Bumlets hopped off the cart and helped Blaze down. Taking her into his arms, he started to carry her towards the door that Dutchy was holding open for them. Once safely inside, despite Cats' hopes of an interesting arrival, Bumlets set Blaze down in the lobby.

 

For over an hour, the Newsies sat around reminiscing and sharing the only punch they could afford for the festivities. While Race decided to start up a game of poker since they had the East Side Newsies here as well, Bumlets turned to Blaze to whisper in her ear.

 

"Ya think we should disappear now?" he smiled.

 

"Yes, and quickly, before Whiskey starts passin' out da hard stuff to Skittery," Blaze answered.

 

Bumlets decided not to announce their departure, for certainly the Newsies would comment, and he wanted to avoid as much teasing as possible. Picking Blaze up into his arms, he quietly carried her to their room, and nearly made it inside without anyone noticing, except that the door creaking open had alerted the Newsies, and some began to whistle loudly until the door had closed.

 

****

 

The New Year came, and Bumlets settled an agreement with Kloppman that he would pay extra for the room he and Blaze were staying in. Though at some point they wanted to move out of the lodging house and into a small apartment, they were still healing from past events, and the Newsies had wanted them to stay. Bumlets only felt right about staying if he paid a fair amount for the room, and though Kloppman didn't want Bumlets to pay so much, he eventually gave in to the boy's wishes.

 

As February was now upon them, Blaze was getting ready for her birthday to come around. She hated celebrating her birthday, as the 14th was also the day she had run away from home, but this year Blaze knew things would be different. She would be able to celebrate the day with not only her close friends, but her husband as well.

 

Neither Blaze nor Bumlets were ready to have another child yet, and the couple had taken precautions against Blaze getting pregnant again, but in the beginning of the second week of February, Blaze found out that precautions are not always completely effective.

 

Blaze wasn't ready for the doctor to tell her that she was going to have another child, and at first she wanted to deny what he had said, but there was no denying the signs her body had already presented to her. She was scared that Bumlets would be upset at her for being pregnant again so soon, and the rest of the day was spent anxiously waiting for him to come home.

 

"He sure is takin' his time getting home tanight," Blaze sighed as she tapped her boots against the floor.

 

"Aw, Bumlets ain't even due home for a little while," Sorrow explained.

 

"Well, he could do me a favor and get home a little earlier tanight," Blaze responded.

 

Laughing, Sorrow shook her head. "Calm down. He's gonna love da news, and dat won't change if he hears it now, or in an hour from now." Sorrow stood from the bed and smiled. "I'm gonna go grab somethin' ta eat. Want anythin'?"

 

Blaze shook her head. "I'm too antsy. I'd spill anythin' I tried ta eat right now."

 

"Calm down already!" Sorrow grinned. "He'll be home soon." With that Sorrow left the room and Blaze went back to fidgeting on her bunk.

 

To her surprise, the door soon opened again, and there stood her weary husband. Bumlets greeted her with a tired smile before he fell back on the bed beside Blaze.

 

"Hey sweetheart," he mumbled and pulled her down to lay by his side. "How was ya day?"

 

Blaze inwardly sighed at how tired he was. Ever since he had given up selling newspapers in favor of an apprentice job, Bumlets worked more hours each day, and usually came home half asleep. It was particularly hard to tell him she was pregnant with his child if he was snoring.

 

"Me day was fine. But I was wonderin' if we could talk for a second before ya pass out on me," Blaze replied and couldn't resist curling up in his arms.

 

Containing a yawn, Bumlets nodded and kissed her forehead. "Sure, sweetie, what is it? Ya ain't gonna bug me ta tell ya what yer boithday present is again, are ya?" he teased.

 

"Um, actually, I guess what I wanna talk about could be considered somethin' ya already gave me." Blaze stroked his cheek as Bumlets tried to figure out what she meant.

 

"Whatcha mean? Did somethin' break dat I already gave ya?" he asked as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

 

Shaking her head, Blaze, debated just forgoing this conversation for later, but knew that it would drive her crazy to do so. "Bumlets, I already have my boithday present from you," she started.

 

At that Bumlets' eyes widened a bit. "How'd ya find it!" he frowned. Bumlets propped himself up on his elbows to further the conversation. I should have never let Dutchy hide it, one of da boys must have found it and left it out for Blaze ta see.

 

Blaze couldn't help but snicker slightly at his expression. "I found it when I went to da doctor's today."

 

Bumlets was now completely confused. He hadn't left her a present at the doctor. What in the world was she talking about? Why had she gone to the doctor? After a hard day, his mind was a jumbled mess, and Bumlets was easily befuddled by Blaze's words.

 

Reaching out, Blaze took Bumlets' hand in her own and guided it to her stomach. She looked into his eyes to watch him closely. Her throat was dry, and she just couldn't get the words 'I'm pregnant' past her lips.

 

His mind reeling, Bumlets stared at Blaze's belly where his hand lay, then he gazed into her eyes. Suddenly he started to comprehend what she meant, as he combined present, with doctor, and his hand on her belly. "Oh…" he stuttered and quickly corrected his first response once he saw a flicker of sadness in her eyes. "Oh! You're gonna be a… I mean, I'm gonna be a… I mean, we're gonna be…" He cursed himself at the lack of suaveness in his words and tried to continue without faltering again. "We're gonna have a baby?" There was no question that he was now fully awake.

 

Nodding, Blaze saw a wide smile on Bumlets' face, and she sighed in relief.

 

"How far along are ya?" he asked before kissing her forehead. Bumlets thought he wouldn't know what to do if they had a baby right now, but all the news did was bring a smile to his face, and that's exactly what he wanted.

 

"A little over a month. Baby's due in September," Blaze answered and watched as Bumlets slid down to her belly.

 

"Right after me boithday in August. It'll be my present den," he smiled and lifted her shirt up just a bit to kiss her stomach. "Whenevah yer mother says somethin' 'bout hats, don't listen to her."

 

"Hey now! Dat ain't fair, " Blaze objected. She frowned at Bumlets, but all he did was grin.

 

"Oh, and I suppose stealin' a man's hat is perfectly fair?"

 

"Why yes, yes it is," Blaze answered nonchalantly.

 

"You stinker," Bumlets replied with an evil grin on his face. Slowly he crept up towards her and started to tickle Blaze's sides.

 

Squealing, Blaze grabbed at his hands, but to no avail. "C'mon, stop it Bums!" she complained.

 

Finally, when Bumlets realized she was running out of oxygen thanks to all the laughing, he stopped and took Blaze into his arms. He stroked through her hair while she regained her breath, and Bumlets smiled widely. "Yer gorgeous when ya run outta air."

 

"Yer handsome widout yer hat," Blaze retorted.

 

Chuckling, Bumlets traced down her cheek to her chin with his coarse fingers and brought her face closer to his own. "Only you think dat, and ya know it," he joked.

 

Before Blaze could reply, Bumlets pulled her into a deep kiss. His heart was beating rapidly from this knew knowledge Blaze had presented him with, and he vowed to make sure Blaze had the easiest pregnancy possible, with Bumlets at her side.

 

****

 

"You're gonna be fine, ya hear me? You're gonna be here for us, and we're gonna take good care of ya. Just please be okay, please. Both yer mother and father want ya to be okay so bad. Please be okay," Blaze whispered to her unborn child.

 

She lay in bed, as usual, and stared at the empty room. Bumlets would be home soon and she only wished to curl up in his arms and have him tell her everything would be fine. No matter what Sorrow, Winter, or Mrs. Lewis told her, Blaze was still scared out of her mind that she would lose another child.

 

Suddenly she felt a kick and sighed in relief. Her baby hadn't kicked in half an hour, and despite the fact that a baby needed its sleep, Blaze still needed to feel it kick all the time, or she would start to panic.

 

Poking the part of her belly that she felt the baby push on, Blaze smiled as her child kicked again. It had to be close to when Bumlets returned from work, for their baby was most active when he was around. During the day she would feel the child kick a few times each hour, except for when it would nap, but the evening was when the baby was fully awake and eagerly awaiting the return of its father.

 

"He'll be home soon," Blaze assured her baby. "Den you can play wid him."

 

Blaze knew their child would be a girl. Bumlets had wanted a girl ever since she was pregnant the first time, and Blaze felt like she owed him a healthy daughter. The doctor had told them it would most likely be female, and Blaze would never forget the excited look on Bumlets' face when he heard the news.

 

Slowly the door creaked open and Blaze looked up to see her exhausted husband quietly walking in the room. Bumlets always entered that way - creeping into the room just in case she was asleep, since he didn't want to wake her. Usually he found Blaze awaiting his return, but on rare occasion she would be sound asleep, and he never liked to disturb her then.

 

"Hey handsome, how was ya day?" she smiled and placed a hand to her belly as their child kicked again.

 

"Just great," Bumlets answered and crept onto the bed. He went to lean in for a kiss, but Blaze jumped back a little, the baby kicking up a storm. "I think our child would like yer attention first."

 

Chuckling, Bumlets lifted her shirt up and kissed her belly. "Hi there," he whispered. "I trust ya watched out for ya mother today." He nudged her abdomen lightly and rested his hand there as the baby kicked again.

 

"Okay, my turn," Blaze announced and pulled Bumlets up for a kiss. Afterwards Bumlets collapsed besides her, his muscles letting him know it was time for a nap.

 

"Ya don't mind restin' wid me a bit, do ya sweetheart?" Bumlets asked and cemented a quick pout to his lips just incase she objected.

 

"A coise not."

 

Smiling, Bumlets positioned his arm across her belly as he settled down to recuperate. He never went to sleep without his hand on her stomach, as he wanted to feel their baby kick as often as possible. With Michaela, Bumlets had been forced to sleep in the boys' room during the months that Blaze was pregnant, and he always felt he missed a part of that pregnancy. Now with their new baby, Bumlets was determined to spend as much time near Blaze's side as humanly possible.

 

Blaze tried to shut her eyes and rest, but she wasn't succeeding. She could go into labor any day now, and she was beyond terrified. All she wanted was to give birth to a healthy baby for her husband. Bumlets always looked so happy when he was talking about the baby, or marveling at her belly. What happened if she lost another child? Could they honestly get through that?

 

Giving up on the prospect of sleep, Blaze opened her eyes and turned her head to face a now slumbering Bumlets. She still loved to watch him sleep, but never dared to disclose that fact. The look of innocence across his features, and the way he crinkled his nose when his hair would touch his face always brought a smile to her lips.

 

Their baby was kicking in protest. It wanted attention, and instead its father was already sound asleep. Blaze placed her hand on her stomach, silently encouraging the child to lay still so Bumlets could rest in peace, but she wasn't so successful. She glanced over to see if Bumlets would stir from the baby's movements, but instead he was slumbering peacefully with a small smile on his face.

 

Finally their baby grew tired of vying for attention, and Blaze felt her belly move as the baby curled up to rest. Satisfied that it would lie still for a bit, Blaze gave resting another try. She only hoped that soon she would be lying here with her husband and a healthy baby and slid her hand atop Bumlets' as she drifted towards sleep.

 

****

The days passed, and still their child refused to come out and introduce itself to the world. According to the doctor their baby was due around September 20th, but as that day came and went, Blaze worried nonstop. She wanted this baby to be fine, and be born on time with no complications, for if the baby passed away, she knew she would lose all hope of keeping the marriage together. How could she and Bumlets possibly survive the loss of two children?

 

On the 22nd, Blaze made a trip to Mrs. Lewis while Bumlets was at work. Her midwife had informed her that perhaps some extra walking might get things going, and Blaze agreed to do so immediately. She spent most of that morning circling the block that the lodging house was on, afraid to go too far if she indeed did go into labor.

 

Finally Blaze's legs signaled that they were tired of the incessant walking, and she headed back inside the lodging house a little while after noon.

 

"You just don't wanna come meet us, do ya?" she asked her child, and received a kick as a response. Sighing, Blaze snatched a seat on the couch next to Slick and glanced over at her.

 

"So maybe da kid just wants some more time ta prepare before it comes out," Slick suggested.

 

Blaze shrugged. "I just wish it would hurry up den," she answered, her voice filled with worry.

 

Slick patted her knee. "Don't worry, it will, when it's ready, and it's driven ya insane," she smiled.

 

Nodding, Blaze smiled back before slowly pulling herself from the couch. "Well, maybe I'll go entice it some more wid somethin' ta drink," she stated and made her way to the kitchen.

 

Her ankles aching, Blaze carted a glass of water to her room and relaxed on the bed. "Ya know, taday's a good day ta come out. It really is. Da sooner ya come out, da sooner ya can do lots of neat stuff. If ya stay in me belly ya won't get ta do much but sit dere," she coaxed. It seemed this kid would rather relax in her tummy for the rest of its life than come out and meet its parents.

 

Blaze couldn't stay awake long, since her walking around the block endlessly had tired her out, and soon her eyes were shutting.

 

Later on Blaze woke up to find herself in Bumlets' arms. She had been so tired that she had fallen asleep for several hours, and now it was the early evening.

 

Her eyes fluttering open, Blaze glanced over to see Bumlets watching her and reached up to poke his nose. "Whatcha lookin' at?"

 

"You," he replied with a smile. "Had a good rest?"

 

"Yeah, must have been so good 'cause of da company," Blaze answered, yawning.

 

"I am pretty good company, ain't I?" Bumlets grinned and kissed her cheek.

 

"I meant da baby," Blaze smirked and poked his side.

 

Chuckling, Bumlets slid his hand over her stomach. "Any day now, kid," he whispered.

 

Blaze felt something and she grabbed Bumlets' hand before looking over at him. "Tell da kid dat again."

 

Confused as to why Blaze wanted him to do so, Bumlets shrugged, but obeyed. "It's a real nice night out even, but ya can't see it from in dere. Ya gotta come out."

 

"Well, I'll be…" Blaze trailed off.

 

"What?" Bumlets asked, perplexed. He saw her grimace and took her hand. "What, what is it?"

 

"Ya couldn't have told dis to da baby on its birth date, could ya?" Blaze asked and started to get up.

 

"What are you…oh!" Bumlets exclaimed. Hurriedly, Bumlets helped Blaze from the bed. "Are ya okay? Does it hurt much? Should I find Sorrow?"

 

Blaze looked up at the now babbling boy and tried hard not to laugh. "I'm fine. It don't hurt much yet, and yeah, go get Sorrow."

 

"Sit here den 'til I get back, kay?" With that Bumlets rushed out of the room and darted around the lodging house, shouting for Sorrow, who was nowhere to be found.

 

Blaze didn't want to sit, she needed to walk. Standing up, Blaze headed towards the door, and opened it just in time to see Bumlets panting in front of it.

 

"Where's Sorrow?" Blaze asked. "Ain't she back from sellin' yet?"

 

Mayhem overheard them and shook her head. "No, she ain't back yet."

 

Bumlets frowned. "I don't wanna leave ya. Who's gonna get Mrs. Lewis?"

 

Bumlets turned to Mayhem and saw her start to back away.

 

"Oh no! Last time I helped I wound up wid me hand crushed!" Mayhem protested.

 

"All ya gotta do is run and fetch Mrs. Lewis," Bumlets explained.

 

Sighing, Mayhem threw her hands up. "As long as I don't gotta go near dat pregnant girl. Tell me where she lives den."

 

Bumlets gave Mayhem instructions and sent her on her way. In a matter of seconds he was at Blaze's side again and ready to help her upstairs.

 

"Lemme carry ya up," Bumlets offered.

 

"No, walkin' is better. Just take me hand," Blaze replied.

 

"But I think it's best dat I carry ya," he protested.

 

Sighing, Blaze turned to him with a serious look on her face. "Bumlets, ya know what happens when me water breaks?"

 

"Um, no."

 

"And you don't wanna know. I'm walkin' up dose stairs."

 

At the assertiveness in Blaze's voice, Bumlets did as he was told, and slowly escorted Blaze up the steps.

 

Once they reached the sick room, Blaze hesitated. She hadn't been back in there since the morning of Michaela's funeral, and wasn't sure if she could enter the room.

 

"It'll be okay. We decided dis would be best, right?" Bumlets comforted. Although they didn't want to think about it, Mrs. Lewis brought up the point that there was the chance Blaze would give birth to another stillborn, and in that unlikely event, it was best to have the child in the sick room instead of their own bedroom. Mrs. Lewis knew it would be even tougher for the couple to live in a room if it brought back memories of a lost child.

 

Nodding, Blaze let Bumlets escort her in the room. She sighed as she recalled Bumlets sitting in the rocking chair with Michaela, but a swift contraction pulled her out of her recollection, and Blaze squeezed Bumlets' hand as he helped her into bed.

 

"Bums, ask Mrs. Lewis ta let ya stay, please?" Blaze whispered.

 

Brushing through her hair, Bumlets kissed her forehead. "I'll ask, but I dunno if she'll let me, sweetheart. I'd probably get in da way."

 

"But if Sorrow ain't back yet, who's hand am I gonna hold?" she asked.

 

"Well, maybe ya can hold mine 'til Sorrow gets back, we'll see." Bumlets moved to the edge of the bed and took Blaze into his arms. He held her until the door opened, and Mrs. Lewis entered.

 

"So the baby finally decided it was time," she smiled. "Is Sorrow here?"

 

Bumlets shook his head. "She's not back yet." He took that as his cue to ask. "Ya think I could stay wid her 'til Sorrow gets back?"

 

Mrs. Lewis didn't answer at first, as she surveyed the situation. "You have to promise to be good and sit right there with her and no yelling." She had helped births with the fathers there before, and knew what usually happened. The father either yelled that something wasn't going right, even though they had no idea about births in the first place, or they left the mother's side to help the midwife, and were more of a pain than a help.

 

Confused as to why he would yell, or move from where Blaze was, Bumlets nodded. "A coise, I promise."

 

"I'm holding you to that," she replied in a serious tone.

 

Bumlets stayed right by Blaze's side for over two hours. He now knew what she meant about her water breaking, and was really glad she told him not to carry her before. It was hard to see her squirm in pain each time a contraction hit, and the only thing Bumlets could tell himself was that she had went through this before, and she would be fine. He gave her praise as often as he could, and let her crush his hand as often as she needed to.

 

While Blaze was awaiting the next contraction, the door opened slowly, and Sorrow came in looking a bit flustered.

 

"How nice of you to join us," Mrs. Lewis greeted.

 

Sorrow smiled sheepishly. "I would've been home sooner, but I lost all track of da time."

 

"Why was dat?" Blaze asked through concentrated breaths.

 

"Shelter… He kinda asked me ta marry him," Sorrow answered, blushing profusely.

 

Mrs. Lewis, Blaze, and Bumlets all congratulated Sorrow and asked her as many questions as they could before Blaze had another contraction, and the focus turned back to the pregnancy.

 

"Bumlets did a wonderful job so far, but why don't you take over for him now, Sorrow," Mrs. Lewis stated.

 

Bumlets saw the look of fear in Blaze's eyes, and brought her close. "Now you two can gossip all ya want about us boys, okay? And I'll wait outside 'til Mrs. Lewis comes and gets me."

 

Reluctantly, Blaze gave a slight nod, and closed her eyes briefly as Bumlets kissed her forehead. "You'll be fine, sweetheart. Ya felt da baby kick taday, everythin' will be fine," he reassured her.

 

"Love you, stinker," Blaze whispered.

 

Bumlets squeezed her hand. "Love ya too," he smiled and started to get up from the bed. He wasn't sure his feet would let him leave the room, but as he knew he would just get in the way, Bumlets made his way to the door.

 

Blaze watched Bumlets leave the room, and grabbed for Sorrow's hand right away. She could tell things in this pregnancy were going faster, and the contractions were a lot closer together after only two hours.

 

Outside Bumlets was greeted by a group of Newsies, who had already staked out positions on the floor, and were eagerly awaiting any news.

 

Racetrack handed Bumlets his pocketwatch right away and sat back down. He'd rather give it up now than have it ripped from him later.

 

Nodding a thank-you, Bumlets checked the time and then started to pace. Each familiar cry of pain still made his heart ache, and Bumlets realized that even though he had been through this once, it didn't get easier to wait for news. He was still scared out of his mind for the health of Blaze and their baby, and as the hours passed, Bumlets still needed Jack and Blink to guard the door so he didn't barge in and run to Blaze's side.

 

The evening had passed and Blaze was now five hours into labor. Bumlets vigorously paced the floor outside, his face frowning each time he heard her scream. He only wished this baby would come out faster to alleviate Blaze from the pain that much quicker.

 

While Bumlets was still pacing, he hadn't noticed that the screams had stopped, nor had he noticed if a newborn was crying or not. He had been telling himself that things would be fine, and when the door started to open, the Newsies had to push him towards it before he realized it was Mrs. Lewis with news.

 

Smiling widely, she could see Bumlets trying to spit out the question of if both mother and baby survived and beat him to the answer. "Come meet your healthy baby boy."

 

Bumlets couldn't get his mind around the words 'healthy' and 'baby'. It didn't matter that the doctor had repeatedly told them it would be a girl. What mattered was both baby and mother were alive and well. Containing himself from bursting in the room, Bumlets followed Mrs. Lewis towards the sounds of an infant crying.

 

Sorrow sat on the edge of the bed, admiring the newborn in Blaze's arms. She moved over as Bumlets walked in and smiled widely at him.

 

For an instant, Blaze stared deep into Bumlets' eyes, worried she had disappointed him by not having a girl, but then she watched as he sat beside her on the mattress and slipped his arm around her shoulder as he let his boy hold onto his finger. He didn't look upset at all, and Blaze was counting on her observation to be correct.

 

Peeling his eyes from the newborn, Bumlets turned to Blaze and kissed her forehead. "I love you," he whispered and turned back to the boy, feeling him tug lightly on his finger. "And you too." He felt Blaze rest her head on his shoulder, and pulled her closer.

 

"Well, I for one want to be here for the naming of this child." Mrs. Lewis took a seat beside Sorrow and smiled. "Any ideas?"

 

Bumlets glanced back at Blaze, who shrugged. "What do ya think?" she asked him. Her muscles ached in pain, but Blaze stubbornly refused to rest until their child was named and she had spent as much time as possible with him before her body made her sleep.

 

"Well, he doesn't look like a Gabrielle," Bumlets teased. "Or a Blaze…"

 

Bumlets looked back at his child and thought for a moment. He took in the boy's features and how the baby looked a lot like its father. An idea in mind, Bumlets turned to Blaze. "What about Nicolas, after me father? I know ya never met him, but my Ma said I looked just like 'im when I was born, and she told me some wonderful stories I'll never forget."

 

Smiling, Blaze nodded, her eyes on the small boy. "Nicolas sounds like a perfect name."

 

"Nicolas Cantolla," Sorrow chirped in. "And what about a middle name?"

 

The girls in the room were stumped. Amidst the silence, Bumlets grinned. "Nicolas Alejandro Cantolla. Whatcha think?"

 

"You've been thinkin' up names all these months, haven't ya?" Blaze asked.

 

Bumlets shrugged. "I have not… I just, like da name, dat's all." Did that mean she approved of it, or not?

 

"It's a wonderful name," Blaze smiled. "And it shall be his."

 

"Well, why don't you take the little one and rock him a bit while I make sure Blaze is alright?" Mrs. Lewis instructed.

 

Complying, Bumlets stood up from the bed and reached down to take the infant from Blaze's arms. At first, Nicolas started to cry at the absence of warmth in the transition. The boy closed his eyes and whimpered, but Bumlets cradled his boy in his arms, his eyes filled with tears, and his face filled with pride. The infant's tiny eyes opened and met his father's and suddenly the boy was quiet. To Blaze it looked like he was recognizing that this man was the person he waited for to come home each night to play with him. She didn't even know if it was possible for the baby to acknowledge that, but it looked like Nicolas was connecting with his father right then, and that he knew he was safe in his arms.

 

Bumlets sat down in the rocking chair and held him closer, wanting to admire the child's features for as long as he could. He leaned over and nuzzled noses with the boy, then leaned back to make a funny face. Nicolas watched him intently, doing his best to keep his tiny, sleepy eyes open as his father came near him again. This time he kicked his little feet and flailed his arms, wanting to play in the game as well, but not sure how. Bumlets leaned closer and his hat started to slip off the top of his head. Just then the infant batted his fist at the already falling cap, making it slip into the child's lap.

 

Glancing up at Blaze, he saw her with a devious smirk across her tired face. "What exactly were ya tellin' him while I was at work?"

 

Blaze shrugged. "It's never too early ta learn da art of stealin' a hat."

 

****

 

As the years stretched on, life was simple for Blaze, Bumlets, and their child. Bumlets was making a decent amount at the tiny shop he worked in as an apprentice, and could afford to still pay Kloppman a little extra for the room, while he also paid for most of the boy's expenses. Blaze sold papers while carting around her son in the mornings to help afford food for the three. She was still young enough to sell, and they were happy living at the lodging house for awhile longer. Bumlets promised that as soon as he was promoted at his job, they would get an apartment, and Blaze agreed to the wonderful idea. Every Sunday the family made a trip to Our Lady of the Scapular to visit Michaela and Bumlets' parents. From an early age, they made sure Nicolas knew of his sister and her short time with Blaze and Bumlets.

 

There the family stood, near the tiny grave of their daughter, and told her of what had happened that week. They always made sure to tell Michaela what her brother was up to, and how things had been for both her parents.

 

It was during this particular visit that Blaze learned something she would never forget. They had just finished telling Michaela all about their week, and Nicolas watched as his mother knelt down to say a few last words to his sister before leaving.

 

"Mommy, what did ya tell me sister?" Nicolas asked as they made their way out of the small cemetery. As Nicolas grew, he proved that he was indeed his father's child. He had shiny black hair, just like Bumlets, and he made sure his parents didn't cut it too often, so it could look just like his father's. He was slightly chubby, which Kloppman teased Bumlets about constantly. Years back, when Bumlets was a small boy and had first come to the lodging house, he was a little tubby as well. Nicolas had the energy of his mother, and nearly wore her out on a daily basis with his constant need to run off.

 

"Dat we all miss her and love her, and dat her little brother is doin' wonderful so far," Blaze answered and smiled down at her son.

 

"And dat her brother has been nothin' but a pain ever since he was born," Bumlets chipped in. "All he does is run amuck. Everyday it's the same thing." Bumlets laughed and tugged on the small boy's hand.

 

"Daddy, I am not a muck!" he cried.

 

"He said ya run amuck," Blaze corrected. "Like ya run around all day causin' trouble."

 

"I don't do that either," Nicolas stated proudly.

 

"Den how come you're always stealin' me hat?" Bumlets countered.

 

"Cause Mommy told me to," he answered simply and watched as Bumlets pulled Blaze closer.

 

"Is dat so?" Bumlets questioned, raising a brow.

 

Shrugging, Blaze reached up and tipped his hat off, allowing it to fall into the child's arms.

 

"See, Mommy does it too!" Nicolas yelled and started to run.

 

"Come back here wid me hat!" Bumlets cried.

 

"Catch me foist!" came the reply.

 

Laughing, Blaze watched the two run for the park. She had taught her son to run in between those trees and knew Bumlets was going to have a hell of a time trying to catch him.

 

Once she arrived at the park, she could see Bumlets racing after their son and smiled. She caught sight of the boy scampering through the trees towards her and eyed Bumlets on his way over as well.

 

"I'm gonna catch ya!" Bumlets teased only to hear the boy squeal as a response.

 

He ran behind his mother's legs and hid the hat behind his back. "Mommy, take dis hat. He's gonna tickle me!"

 

Obliging, Blaze took the hat from Nicolas' hand and smiled. "He won't tickle you now."

 

"Nope, I'll tickle whoever dares have me hat," Bumlets smirked and grabbed the hat from Blaze's hands, plopping it back on his head.

 

"Well, you have da hat, and since it's hard ta tickle yaself, we'll help out," Blaze grinned and tickled his sides, making Bumlets fall back on the grass.

 

"Get him!" Nicolas cried as they pounced on top of Bumlets.

 

"Hey, no fair!" he protested, but neither his wife nor his son would let up that easily.

 

"It is too fair," Blaze grinned, but she finally let go and took Nicolas into her arms. "Perhaps Daddy has had enough."

 

"Well, its nice ta know someone thinks so," Bumlets stated and stuck out his tongue at their son, who was obviously disappointed. Straightening himself, Bumlets leaned his back against a tree and pulled Blaze towards his lap, their son still in her arms.

 

Blaze felt her son tug on her sleeve, and leaned down so he could whisper something in her ear.

 

"Mommy, why does Daddy always look at ya like that?"

 

"Like what?" Blaze whispered back.

 

"All goofy-like," he answered, unsure how to explain it fully.

 

"Goofy-like?" Blaze asked.

 

"Yeah, like, he ain't payin' attention ta other stuff when he's lookin' at you. He does it all da time. Like when we play a game and ya walk in, he forgets it's his turn," Nicolas explained. "It's hard ta play games when he forgets ta play 'em wid me."

 

"I don't know, sweetheart. Maybe he just forgets he's playing for a minute. Or he does it when he's thinking about something," Blaze reasoned.

 

"Winter told me it's cause he loves you. But I love you and I don't forget when I'm playin' me game," Nicolas pointed out.

 

By this time Bumlets had overheard the last bit of their conversation, and he held Blaze closer to himself. "That's cause Daddy loves your Mommy a little bit differently than how you love her. She makes me forget what I'm doin' half da time," he smiled.

 

Nicolas pouted. "But it's hard ta play when ya do that."

 

Bumlets chuckled. "But I can't help it. Your mother just has dis effect over me."

 

"Yeah, Winter said ya smile like a…a… big dolt when Mommy is around." Nicolas giggled at the word Winter had taught him.

 

"And ya know, some day a goil is gonna make you smile like a dolt," Bumlets teased. "And den it you'll wonder why ya laughed at your Daddy all those years back."

 

"Ew!" Nicolas wrinkled his nose. "No goil is gonna make me smile like dat," he stated and crossed his arms.

 

"One day, a goil is gonna make ya so happy, dat you'll be smilin' like a duffer, and I am gonna be da foist one ta point dat out," Bumlets teased and ruffled his hair.

 

Blaze glanced up at Bumlets and caught his wide smile. All she ever wanted was to make him happy - to feel like she really wasn't such a disappointment after all, and to feel loved. She still held onto the thought that she was a failure after Michaela's death, and that she could never make Bumlets truly happy, even though he had made her extremely blissful in return. Despite how many times he told her he loved her, she always kept this crazy idea in the back of her head that he was upset at her, and that she really hadn't made him happy after all.

 

Bumlets had always said that it would only be time before they had the family they wanted, and he was right. Michaela had been the start of a wonderful family, and Nicolas was the next great addition. It was only time before Blaze realized that she really had made Bumlets happy, and only time before she recognized that she wasn't this big disappointment to him or their children.

 

Bumlets was still smiling at Blaze and leaned down to meet her lips with his own. Nicolas has scrunched his nose while they had done so, and was looking away, impatiently waiting for them to return their attention to him.

 

"I love ya, Blaze," Bumlets whispered, his wide smile still prominent.

 

"I love you too, Bums," Blaze smiled.

 

"Not da goofy looks again!" Nicolas cried and jumped up from Blaze's lap.

 

Laughing, Bumlets gently placed a finger under Blaze's chin and brought her face near. "I don't mind da goofy looks, do you?" he pouted.

 

Shaking her head, Blaze nuzzled his nose with her own. "Nope, not at all."

 

Bumlets leaned in and kissed her deeply, but the kiss was interrupted abruptly when Nicolas swiped his father's hat off his head.

 

"Ya just had to teach him ta steal me hat, didn't ya?"

 

 

The End

 

~~~~

 

**Saying for headstone taken from A Memory Page for David

 

**Thanksgiving in 1900 apparently fell on the 5th Thursday, which was the 29th. I found this in an online calendar. Hopefully it is right.

 

**Duffer: A foolish oaf, coined in the mid 1800's.

 

**Title from the song 'Only Time' by Enya. Lyrics below:

 

Who can say

Where the road goes,

Where the day flows?

Only time

And who can say if your love grows

As your heart chose?

Only time

Who can say why your heart sighs

As your love flies?

Only time

And who can say

Why your heart cries when your love lies?

Only time

Who can say

When the roads meet

That love might be

In your heart?

And who can say

When the day sleeps

If the night keeps

All your heart?

Night keeps all your heart

Who can say if your love grows

As your heart chose?

Only time

And who can say where the road goes,

Where the day flows?

Only time

Who knows? Only time

Who knows? Only time

 

 

In loving memory of my own 'postponed' angel

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1