Vegeta's Night Before Christmas

WARNINGS: one cussword
NOTES: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas or Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas by Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863) DBZ Style!

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

Not a creature that is, except for a certain Saiyajin Prince.

Vegeta didn't understand what the big deal was with this "Christmas", but Bulma told over and over again that it is a holiday. It was strange. Their whole world seemed to celebrate this holiday.

He sat downstairs in the kitchen with a cup of tea. Everyone was asleep, but him, which was the way he liked it. It was really the only time he ever got any peace and quiet.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

Finally Trunks was asleep. That child had so much energy in him, it was no wonder that Mirai Trunks turned out the way he did. For the past week, he had been running around talking about Santa and presents. Vegeta wanted to smack some sense into the brat and tell him Santa didn't exist, but Bulma threatened him with the couch and no gravity room for a month. He had toyed with the idea of calling her bluff but something in her eyes told him she meant it this time.

Bulma had worn herself out with last minute preparations for Christmas morning. The decorations, the gifts, and the milk and cookies. What were those for? Vegeta had always eaten them after Bulma went to bed, and for some reason, Trunks was so happy to see them gone. He decided to leave them this time. Maybe the brat will figure things out on his own in the morning.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

What the hell was that?! Vegeta ran to a window and looked outside, the bright snow momentarily blinding him. Are those deer on the lawn? Can�t be, they were miles from the nearest forest. Why are there deer here?

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

The little man moves fast! Vegeta sensed no trace of Ki from him as he made the deer fly, and now he dares enter his home! Wait, through the chimney? What kind of man was this?

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

Vegeta chuckled in spite of himself. This little man was no threat. He must be this Santa Claus everyone was so interested in. Kakarrot even dressed up like him at Bulma's party last night. Kakarrot bumbled around like the fool that he was, handing out gifts to all of the "good" little boys and girls. He had handed Vegeta a lump of coal and everyone laughed. He had backhanded Kakarrot and got a severe tongue lashing from Bulma and Chi-chi as the brats began to wail. What? Couldn't they tell it was that third class idiot? "Nooo! It's Santa," both brats wailed. Vegeta was sent outside for his efforts and told to wait. Later, Bulma came outside and "forgave" him.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

Vegeta walked over to look at the stockings, slightly astonished that the man still used no Ki. He upended his own stocking to find a few bits of candy and fruit. What's this?! This fruit can only be found on Vegeta-sei. Vegeta ran outside, hoping to catch the little man before he left.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"

Vegeta watched Santa fly away to deliver gifts to the rest of the world. He smirked and gave a terse wave while clutching the fruit in his other hand. So that was Santa. Heh. Better not let Bulma know about this.

He ate the fruit, savoring the taste of home. He re-hung his stocking putting the lump of coal in it and looked over at the uneaten cookies. He took them with him as he went back upstairs to return to bed. He could just imagine the look on Trunk's face in the morning.