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Kurama's heart felt cold as he talked to his best friend. He was leaving. Hiei was leaving. Hiei had been offered the chance to be heir to Mukuro's throne in the Makai. He was so happy about it. This was his chance.  The fox held in his pain for Hiei's sake. He wanted the fire demon to be happy. Now he was free to go back to Makai, Kurama knew that he would go. This would be Hiei's last visit to his open window.
 

 Hiei watched the fox carefully for signs of any emotion. //Don't let me leave fox.// his heart begged. //tell me you need me! Tell me you want me to stay here with you! Say anything damn it! Tell me you don't want me to go! Please. I will stay here if you would just ask me to. Tell me to stay!//
 

Still remember the night we met
 

 He thought back to the first time they had met. A young, ningen Kurama had teased him about his stiff stature.
 

You said you loved my smile
 

 Hiei had punched him for that.
 

But your love for me was like a summer breeze
Oh it lasted for a while
 

 //Maybe I was wrong, maybe you don't see me as anything but a friend. A comrade.// Hiei thought, //Could everything you do for me just be signs of friendship?//

_________________________________________________________________________

 Kurama smiled at his friend. It was a little too stiff, too bright, but he couldn't dredge up the real thing, he hurt too much.
 

I could hold on a little tighter I know
But when you really love someone, you gotta let them go
 

 The fox fought the urge to break into tears grab Hiei and keep him forever. Ningenkai killed Hiei a little each day. The Koorime needed to go home. Kurama knew that, and for that reason, he held back and pulled his mask into place. For Hiei. Only for Hiei. He loved him that much.
 

So I'm gonna smile,
Cause I wanna make you happy
 

 He smiled at Hiei sincerely. The Koorime was finally free and the Youko was happy for him even as he was dying inside.
 

Laugh
so you can't see me cry
 

 Kurama felt tears flooding his eyes so he laughed and wiped them away as if they were tears of mirth.
 

I'm gonna let you go in style
 

 //I am Youko Kurama! Breaker of heart's and most idolized Yokai in all of the Makai! I have had millions of partners, conquests, I can not let his last memory of my face be full of tears! I refuse to! I have a reputation to uphold.//
 

and even if it kills me
I'm gonna smile
 

 The minute Hiei left, Kurama's mask cracked and he curled up in the corner of the room, sobbing for his loss.

_____________________________________________________________________________

kiss me once for the good times baby

Hiei sat in a tree outside Kurama's school, watching him push through the flood of his admirers. The Koorime felt hopeless watching how everyone flocked around the boy. He didn't stand a chance with Kurama. Better that he leave. He blew the fox a kiss and then blurred away.
 

kiss me twice for goodbye.
 

 Unseen by Hiei,  Kurama caught the kiss and pressed it over his heart, then blew a kiss to Hiei to be blown away on the wind, never caught or realized.  It was better this way. It was! Now if only he really believed that.
 

You can't help how you don't feel
and it doesn't matter why.
 

 The koorime berated himself over and over. How could Youko Kurama ever be interested in him?! Kurama was a sex symbol for the whole Makai! There was not one beast who did not lust after the silver Youko. The thief had stolen more hearts than Hiei could count and have more partners than he cared to. //What would he want with a skinny little child like me? Compared to him, I am nothing. A forbidden child who should have never been birthed.//
 

Give me a chance to bow out gracefully,
cause that's how I want you to remember me

 As he blurred toward the portal, Hiei smoothed his long coat and ran his fingers through his hair, straitening it as much as possible. He wanted Kurama's last memory of him to be a good one. If he even bothered to remember the forbidden child once he was gone. He stopped and straitened his scarf nervously. //Kurama.//

 When he reached the portal he saw him. Sitting under one of his trees reading. //You are always reading something. Why couldn't you read me? Why can't you see my love?//

 He looked up at Hiei and smiled. His fox was always smiling.
 

I'm gonna smile,
Cause I wanna make you happy,
 

 Hiei grinned wickedly and dropped to stand beside the red head.
 

Laugh
 

 Kurama was saying something, Hiei answered with his usual 'hn'. He wasn't really listening, he was trying to memorize every little gesture the fox made, every hair, every motion, to keep him alive for the days to come.

so you can't see me cry
 

 Tear's pushed at his eyes but Hiei squelched them quickly. He wouldn't cry. It would make Kurama sad.
 

I'm gonna let you go in style
 

 "Hn, goodbye fox"

 "Goodbye." Kurama smiled softly, "Hiei."
 

and even if it kills me
I'm gonna smile
 

 When the portal closed Kurama fell to his knees and the dam holding his emotions broke. His howl of pain and loss echoed through the sparce trees and around Genkai's temple where his team mates huddled, fearful of the sound and unaware that it was their friend.
 His tears puddled beneath him as he shook with pain. "Hiei."
 
 

I'm gonna smile
so you can find the courage
 

 Hiei stood before Mukuro dressed in his new royal splendor, the purple cloth fluttering in the slight breeze. He was motioning and pacing very expressively, an odd thing for him to be sure.
 Mukuro nodded and motioned to the door, "Go."
 He blurred out the moment she said he could and Mukuro watched with a smile.
 

Laugh
so you wont see me hurting
 

 Kurama sat in the park helping Yuusuke with his homework. Yuusuke stood and smiled a thank you as he left. He couldn't bare to see Kurama hurting like he was. None of them could help him.
 The fox sat back against a tree and plucked up a blade of grass, using his Ki to grow it out sharp, like a knife.

 He ran it gently over his wrists, up his veins and watched as blood beaded of through the shallow cut. Red, like Hiei's eyes. He wanted to see more. To be covered in the color of Hiei's eyes. //Hiei.//

 //Kaasan has Shuu-chan and her new husband, she will get over this in time. I just don't want to breath anymore. There is no reason to.//
 

I'm gonna let you go in style
and even if it kills me
 

 It was as if he was detached from himself, watching as if it wasn't him with the grass knife to his vein. He placed it over the light cut and pressed harder with a pained sob.

 The knife was knocked from his fist and Kurama found himself pinned against the tree by . . . "H. . . Hiei?!"

 "What were you thinking fox! Damn you! What?!"

 "I. . ."

 "What if I had come a second later?! Huh?! Why would you even consider this?!"

 The fox lowered his eyes sadly.

 "Damn it don't do that to me?!"

 "I was the one dying." Kurama reminded him.

 "I love you fox! Damn you! You think I could live if you left me?!"

 "H. . . Hiei you. . . you left me." Kurama sobbed.

 "I came back fox." Hiei hugged him tightly and their tears flowed together.

 "Hiei, aishiteru Hiei. Zutto." Kurama sobbed happily.
 

I'm gonna smile
 
 
 

~Owari~