- Support Capitol Punishment, Flog a Politician Today
- Legalizing Concealed Weapons would be just fine if stupidity was outlawed
- We're the largest street gang in America. We're the POLICE
- [Windows™ logo] ...and this is your computer on drugs. Any questions?
- Annoy a politician today - THINK
- Anime-niac
* - There is no freedom OF religion without freedom FROM religion
- The more I learn about terrorism, the better I understand the phone company
- C code. C code run. Run, code, run! (please?)
- Bad cop. Bad BAD cop. NO DONUT.
- If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people!
- Support the 28th Amendment: Convicted felons shall not have the right to demand or expect better treatment or conditions than the members of the public at large.
- My job drives me to drink. If it wasn't for that, I'D QUIT!
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
- Information Superhighway Official Roadkill
- Grad School - It's not just a job, it's an indenture!
- Flush Rush
- If ignorance is Bliss, Washington must be Paradise!
- I know that you have a thing for me, but why is it so small and deformed?
- Do Not Underestimate the Power of the Chocolate Side of the Force!
* - Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
- Nice front bumper you've got there. Shame if something happened to it....
- "Gun Control" isn't about guns. It's about control.
* - A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture
- This sticker has been discontinued.
- Another Deadline, Another Miracle
- Militant Agnostic. I don't know, and you don't either!
- Blessed be the censors, for they shall truly inhibit the earth
- Censorship? We don't have any censorship. If we did, I couldn't say XXXX or XXXX..
- XXXXXX the censors!
- He who hesitates IS LUNCH!
- Creature of the Night
- The truth is out there. Trust no one. Deny everything.
- Death Before Dishonor Nothing Before Coffee
- Friends don't let friends boot OS/2™.
- [Windows™ logo] I Don't Do Windows
- Balance the Budget. Declare Politicians as Game and sell Hunting Stamps.
- My kid and your taxes go to Starfleet Academy
- We are IBM™! Windows™ is IRRELEVANT! You will be ASSIMILATED!
* - Campus Crusade for Cthulhu: It Found Me!
- The Cat Philosophy of Life: If you can't Eat it or Shred it, then Sleep on it.
- Welcome to Middle Earth. NOW GO HOME.
- Will litigate for food
- The way to a man's heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs
- So many men, so little reason to sleep with any of them
- Happiness is the planet Earth in your rear-view mirror
- Be nice to me, or I just might develop psychokinetic powers and destroy Tokyo!
* - When Cthulhu Calls, he calls 1-800-Collect™
- How long do I have to be a grad student before I can petition for tenure?
- The meek shall inherit the Earth. The rest of us are going to the stars!
- Dead men tell no tales... unless you're in forensics
- Next year, why not vacation in the millions of worlds of a used book store?
- Carpe DM: Seize the Dungeon Master
- Happy Happy Kill Kill
- I didn't do it. You can't prove it. Nobody saw me. The sheep are lying!
- I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense!
- To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.
- Remember when Windows were washed, mice were trapped, and UNIX guarded the harem?
- Once you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
- 1.8 x 1012 furlongs per fortnight. 'Tis a good Idea, and it doth be the Law.
- Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more!
- I don't need a new religion. I haven't used up the Old one.
- Never trust a smiling GM!
* (Ohh hentai!!!) - Why get real? Plastic is cheaper, It doesn't rot, It comes in prettier colors, and it's much easier to clean!
- Will build thermonuclear devices for food
- Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, for You are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup.
- Those who can, Teach. Those who cannot teach ARE RUNNING THE SCHOOLS!
- Weird Enough for Government Work
- If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it!
* (I am one!) - Unicorns aren't mythical... virgins are!
* (I have 15 cats!) - I love cats. Want to trade recipes?
- Cats make more sense than men
- Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn. Women exist because sheep can't cook. Neither of these things explain children.
- Abolish mornings!
* - Jesus is coming! LOOK BUSY
- She said "Harder!" I did that. She said "Faster!" I did that. She said "Deeper!" I philosophized.
- Am I supposed to be impressed?
- I love my country. It's my government I fear.
- Why should we trust the government with automatic weapons?
- Where there's a whip, there's a way
- My cat dislikes the term "pet." It prefers "friend and confidante."
- If guns cause crime, matches cause arson!
- Caution Vampire in trunk!
- If it isn't fattening, it isn't food!
* - The real problem with Baptists is that they never quite seem to hold them under long enough.
- I am suffering from a Sexually Transmitted Disease: Children!
- I want to be Barbie™-- The bitch has everything!
- Cats don't want to own people. They prefer to lease with an option.
- Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
- Don't steal. The government hates competition.
- Fundamentalism means never having to open your mind
- Computers are vehicles for the mind. They drive you crazy!
- Stop the violins. Visualize whirled peas.
- We are Microsoft! Resistance is Futile! You will be assimilated!
- My kid swindled your honor student at the Ferengi College of Business, where students learn to profit from more than just mistakes.
- My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg!
- Nice little planet you've got here. Shame if something happened to it.
- Cats keep their claws sharp because they know that just a purr may not be enough
- Anything not nailed down is a cat toy!
- Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
- A chill in the air, a cat on the lap, a mug of chocolate, and a good book. Ah, Paradise!
- I think, therefore I am dangerous
- Usenet Cheaper than drugs, just as addictive, but you have to know how to read!
- It's worse than you think and they ARE out to get you!
- Trust me I'm a lawyer [picture of shark ]
* - You found God? If nobody claims him in 30 days, he's yours!
- [bear with rifle] Support the right to keep and arm bears!
- Who needs drugs? I go broke buying books!
- Weird Load
* - [pentagram] Give me that REAL Old-Time Religion!
- Book lovers never go to bed alone!
- Grow your own dope! Plant a politician!
- Pro-Free Speech. Pro-Gun. Pro-Choice. PRO-FREEDOM!
- Sure you can trust the Government! Just ask an Indian!
- Is it too late to get the Russians to nuke Washington?
- Never shoot to kill. Always shoot to live.
* - [fish with legs] You keep believing... we'll keep evolving!
- Procrastinate Later
- My ship finally came in, but it was the Kobayashi Maru!
- Alcohol and calculus don't mix NEVER DRINK AND DERIVE!
- An angry Dragon may eat you, but an angry Woman is truly dangerous
- My ex gave me a reason to live -- I want Revenge!
- Subvert the dominant paradigm!
- I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am!
- Don't hate yourself in the morning -- Sleep till noon!
- Practice Safe Housing - Use Condos
- Some mornings I just don't feel like slaying dragons
- Closet Extrovert
- Babylon Express - When you absolutely positively don't want anyone to know where it went or how it got there.
* - I found Jesus. He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana.
- VOTE: REPUBLICAN, it's easier than THINKING; DEMOCRAT, it's easier than WORKING; Libertarian, it's cheaper than TAXES
- If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy!
- I don't deserve self esteem
- It's a control freak thing. I won't let you understand!
- System analysis is the process of finding exactly the right wrench to pound in the required screw
- Proudly marching to the beat of a different kettle of fish
* - I'm doing my part to piss off the Religious Reich
- The best things in life aren't things
- Ignore your rights and they'll go away
- The "New Right" is fundamentally wrong
- Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
- First they burn books then they burn people
- Oh, no! I turned out just like my mother! * (I want to be like my mother!)
- Question Authority before it Questions You!
- A Woman's Place is in the House... and Senate!
- Computers aren't intelligent. They just think they are.
- Civil Disobedience - It's not just for revolutionaries anymore!
- C:\COFFEE.EXE NOT FOUND <A>bort, <R>etry, <B>rew another pot?
- Vote Conservative! There's no mistake like an old mistake!
- Been there. Done that. Went back for more.
- Wu's Law: Never, EVER say "Here, kitty, kitty" to a Kzin
- Computers cut my work in half... and the boss expects me to put it all back together!
- I feel like a new man. Do you have one I could use?
- Murphy was an optimixt!
* - Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy, green meat is bad for you!
- I saw Elvis making crop circles
- Where are we going? Why am I in this handbasket?
- Free Speech keeps Rush on the air. Free Thought keeps me from believing him.
- Power Corrupts - Isn't that what it's for?
- Real Psychics don't have 1-900 numbers. They call you... collect!
* - Downsizing is good, right? Then let's fire Uncle Sam!
- No thanks. I gave at the orifice.
- Hang Up and Drive!
- I did not escape, I have a day pass!
- Untie Dexlysics!
- Some days, it's just not worth gnawing through the straps
- The problem with religious texts is that the answers aren't in the back, either.
- The fundies keep telling me I'm going to Hell and they're going to Heaven. If they aren't there, it won't be Hell, so I guess we're all going to the same place!
- There's a sucker reborn every minute - PT Robertson
- Listen to Limbaugh? No thanks, my parents weren't related
* - Forget Love - I want to fall in Chocolate
- Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Witches... [picture of frog]
* (I'm earning my B.Arts) - B.S. (Phys): Why does it work? B.S. (Engr): How does it work? B.A. (Acctg): How much will it cost? B.A. (Arts) You want fries with that?
- Go Fascinate Someone Else
* - He's YOUR God. They're YOUR rules. YOU burn in Hell!
- Animal testing is futile! The animals always get nervous and give the wrong answers
- B-5/DS9 - Boldly going in circles where no TV shows have gone before (this week)
- Computer Literacy? You mean my computer is supposed to read?
- The computer revolution is over - the computers won!
- I inhaled and I vote
- Help! I've tripped and I can't come down!
- I was abducted by space aliens and I vote!
- This vehicle leased to: American Association for the Abolition of Acronym Abuse Regional Group Headquarters Staff Transport Office Pool (AAAAARGH/STOP)
- Will Write Code for Food
- I got out of bed for this?
- EARTH FIRST! We can stripmine the other planets later!
- This isn't a life it's a forced March!
- They're Lying
- Ignore the propaganda. Focus on what you see.
- Life would be so much easier if we just had the source code
- Don't blame me- I'm just visiting this planet!
* - Who are you to question why your god doesn't want me to believe in him?
- I am perfectly sane. The little voices in my head told me so!
- If all the world's a stage, I want better lighting!
- If you get any closer, you'd better have a condom
- No job too easy - No fee too large - Dragons Rescued - Virgins Slain
- You earthlings have such strange eating habits
- Put politicians in their place - Landfills!
- I'm disturbed. I'm depressed. I'm inadequate. I've got it all!
- Visualize Whirled Pizza
- What we really need is a moment of SCIENCE in the public schools!
- Hukt on fonix reely wurkt for mee!
- Some push the envelope, some just lick it, and some can't find the flap!
- [Dragon] Some things must be believed before they can be seen
- [Pegacorn] Some things must be believed before they can be seen
- Stop repeat offenders Don't re-elect them!
- Fundamentalism stops a thinking mind
- Remember when conservatives protected privacy and freedom?
- Bobbitt's Tavern. Have a few too many and we'll cut you off!
- A world without war; a dream to some, a nightmare to the arms manufacturers.
- Victims and suspects and clues, oh my!
- Mystery readers are never clueless (after chapter one)
- A tisket, a tasket, a victim in a casket
- The four essential elements: Means, Motive, Opportunity and Chocolate!
- "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." --S. Holmes
- Mankind is the result of millions of years of evolution desidned to produce a better Cat Servant
- Cats humor us because they know that their ancestors ate ours.
- There's no Police like Holmes
- My husband said he'd leave me if I didn't stop reading mysteries all the time... Why didn't I start sooner?
- Microsoft™: If you can't beat them, buy them. Apple™: If you can't beat them, sue them. IBM™: If you can't beat them, ignore them.
- Dogs think men are gods. Cats are not so easily deluded.
- It's hard to Soar with Dragons when you Work with Gargoyles
- Bean me up, Scotty! They make lousy coffee down here
- Some days, the most interesting thing on the TV is a sleeping cat!
- Yes, I've heard of "decaf." What's your point?
- Everybody needs something to believe. I believe I'll have another cup of coffee!
- Just bring me the coffee and nobody will get hurt
- Are you sure this isn't just a live-action roleplaying game?
- "Get a life?" I'm a gamer! I have lots of lives!
- If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?
- We will never have great leaders as long as we mistake education for intelligence, ambition for ability, and lack of transgression for integrity!
- Different drummer? I'm my own band!
- Forget world peace, visualize using your &+%?*$! Turn signals!
- If a man's best friend is his dog, don't give him your phone number!
- Federal Espresso - When you absolutely, positively have to have something that will get you going, no matter what you were doing overnight!
- Only lawyers get to be judges, and that's the (F)LAW!
- Inside every small problem is a big one trying to get government funding
- Friends let you hide at their place. Real friends let you hide bodies.
- Everything I really needed to know, I learned in sniper school
- Gun Exchange programs would work great if they gave you a gun when you handed in a criminal!
- Guns didn't make America unsafe, Courts and Congress did!
- Don't call us "gun nuts"-- with a government like ours, we'd be nuts not to have guns!
- If you try to get my gun, don't expect to get my trust
- REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T DOCUMENT If it was hard to write, it should be impossible to understand!
- Always remember: Pillage first, THEN burn!
- My life may be weird, but at least it's not boring!
- User Surly
- I am a mallaholic. Please do not give me directions to the nearest shopping mall!
- I like noise. I need noise. When it's too quiet, I can hear my brain cells dying.
- Always proofread. You might have something out.
- It never fails! You start having fun, and they send in the lawyers.
- If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear, can you hear the C?
- The First Amendment grants Freedom of Speech THE SECOND GUARANTEES IT!
- You don't need a pedigree to be a best friend
- ZenCrafters Total enlightenment in about an hour!
- Amateur Rocket Scientist My other vehicle is in orbit
- Witch Wagon - Tailgaters will be Toad
- Do autoparanoid schizophrenic agnostic dyslexic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if they might be the dog that's out to get them?
- Evolution created anchovies - Man's ignorance put them on pizza!
- Had a life. Traded it for a faster modem
- Mean People Suck
- I owe it all to my boss - Ulcers, nausea, paranoia...
- Smoking Cures Ham
- Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.
- Sanity is a state of mind ...but the taxes are so high, I had to move away.
- Wizard Wagon - Tailgaters will be toad
- Objects in mirror may have flunked driver ed
- Nine out of ten men who have tried camels prefer women.
- In space, your cat can't hear you open the can
- Miskatonic Summer Games - Fastest food in Arkham
- A closed mind doesn't need drugs-- It's already wasted
- Getting a free kitten proves that you don't need money to get love
- Life's a beach - and we're just surfing time
- Reunite Gondwanaland
- You! Out of the gene pool!
* - REAL SCOTSMEN WEAR KILTS because sheep can hear a zipper at 500 yards!
- GO AHEAD, HONK If I can hear you, you're in range
- Driver carries no more than $20 worth of ammunition
- DO NOT DISTURB Occupant is disturbed enough already
- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT - Can't remember why...
- Cats are children that you don't have to send to college
- I'm a Woman, not a Womb!
- Smoking is like sex-- It should always be between consenting adults in private
- Omnipotent Omniscient Omnibenevolent - Pick two.
- If we can put a man on the moon, why not all of them? * (I don't wanna get rid of them! I wanna play with them! ^_^)
- To a Cat, People are just Furniture that does Tricks
- WARNING: The Attorney General has determined that Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms can be dangerous to your health, and get away with it!
- To a dog, you're one of the family. To a cat, you're one of the help.
- My kid sells term papers to your honor student
- No government is better than NO GOVERNMENT!
- Never trust a government that doesn't trust YOU!
- Give the anarchists an inch, and the next thing you know, they want to be in charge!
- REPEAL INHIBITION!
- I'm only driving this because aliens ate my Volvo * (No, It was a dodge)
- Come out, come out, whatever you are!
* - People are more passionately opposed to wearing fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than bikers.
- I can't go to work today. The voices told me to stay home and clean the guns.
- You'd be like this, too, if they dropped a house on your sister!
- Freedom of Religion means ALL Religions
- If a man's home is his castle, he can learn to clean it!
* - Learn from your parents' mistakes, USE BIRTH CONTROL
- We've got ENOUGH Youth, what we NEED is a Fountain of SMART!
- Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
- Out of mind - Back in 5 minutes
- I get plenty of exercise just pushing my luck!
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!
- The more people I meet, the better I like my cat!
- WARNING! Dates in calendar are closer than they appear!
- It's lonely at the top... but you eat better.
- WORK is for people who don't know how to FISH
- Work is for people who don't SURF THE NET
- Cats make great pets -- out of their owners
- Ask me about my vow of silence
- Why suffer from insanity when you can revel in it?
- "Normal" is a setting on my washing machine.
- Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it.
- Leave Earth Now - Ask Me How
- Please don't honk - Driver may go Postal if awakened
- Reality is the Anchovy on the Pizza of Life
- i suport publik edjicashun
- Support the Math Illiteracy Tax - Buy Lottery Tickets
- Reality is the Hairball in the Catnap of Life
- Cats are amazing! Cute, furry, friendly, and only 140 calories per serving!
- ALL MEN ARE ANIMALS! but if you can train them, they make good pets...
- In case of Rapture, can I have your car?
- Fight Organized Crime -- Don't Re-elect ANYONE!
- Will Genetically Engineer Organisms For Food
- I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
- Give a man a fish, and he will eat for one day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer every day!
- I am getting so tired of slitting the throats of people who say I'm a violent psychopath!
- Political Correctness is Intellectual Fascism
- THANK GOD FOR ATHEISM -- Without that, I'd have nothing to believe in!
- POSTAL! (with graphic of speeding bullet)
- "NOT A MORNING PERSON" DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT!
- THIMK
- A good university needs a football team like a fish needs a bicycle.
* - A Real Friend isn't someone that you use once and throw away, a Real Friend is someone that you can use again and again!
- All right, who put the "Morning People" in charge?
- When cryptography is outlawed, 7c%K@mp8T=;Rfs9bVhi*5xFwW/Q[uY
- Beautiful women don't intimidate me, but I sure wish they would try!
- The first cup of coffee recapitulates phylogeny
- It's OUR money, not theIRS!
* - FREE TIBET! -- with weapons technology purchase
- EARTH IS FULL! GO HOME!
- Tourist season is coming up! Don't forget your license!
- Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music.
- Sona si Latine loqueris! [translation: Honk if you speak Latin!]
- Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? [Latin equivalent of the infamous woodchuck question]
- Illiud Latine dici non potest. [Latin for "You can't say that in latin."]
- Stand aside, plebians! I am on Imperial business!
- There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life - music and cats. -- Albert Schweitzer
- 150 Million True Believers. 144,000 taken up in the Rapture. Do YOU feel LUCKY?
- Some days, it's just not worth crawling out of the primordial ooze.
- Carpe Noctem - Anything worth doing happens after dark!
- I have NOT lost my mind. It's backed up on the server. (and the network is down again...)
- Seven out of ten voices in my head say "Call in sick"
- I get along with God just fine. It's his fan clubs that I can't stand.
- CHAOS - More than a theory, it's the Way of Life
- If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'LL PUT SHOES ON THE CAT!
- All around me I see Chaos, Panic and Disorder. At last, my work here is done!
- PARTY SKYCLAD!
- Jesus loves you. I don't. Now, BACK OFF!
- Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
- This space intentionally left blank
- I'm not really a bitch. I've just had PMS for 30 years.
- Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I am a Rocket Scientist!
- Entropy was just a concept, until I got a cat!
- The fact that no one understands you does NOT make you an Artist!
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
- WORK as if you don't need the money. LOVE as if you've never been hurt. DANCE as if no one is watching.
- Be reasonable. DO IT MY WAY!
- Lingua mortua sola lingua bona est. [translation: The only good language is a dead language.]
- Old lawyers never die -- they just lose their appeal!
- How many roads must a man go down before he'll admit that he's lost?
- Question Authority - Don't ask why, just DO IT!
* - If the Rapture would rid us of some of these idiots, it couldn't come soon enough!
- If you believe you can tell me what to think, I believe I can tell you where to go.
- CUSTER WORE ARROW SHIRTS
- We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
- I'll "get a life" when someone can prove that it's better than what I've got now.
- Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be Evil.
- ALPHA FEMALE
- CARPE BANDWIDTH!
- Remember when this [Christian fish] wasn't a WARNING LABEL?
- Life's a Witch... and then you fly!
- My other vehicle is a broom!
- Save a horse, ride a cowboy
- I'm not Duckin' Frunk!
- Gun Control means using both hands
- I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now
_________________________________________________
The * was in front of any of these that were or could be slightly offensive or is I just haaaaaad to add something. Please don't be offended by any of these they are just bumperstickers I've seen and do not reflect the beliefs of me or anyone else in my castle. ^_^ Hope you got a laugh out of them.