I don't own the GW boys or other characters, and I'm glad.  Have you ever
thought about how much it would cost to FEED them?!?  Sure, I could borrow
money from Quatre, but...  Anyways, yaoi, angst, and death, because I like
to dabble with death.  And I DON'T believe in happy endings.
**********
Part Six:

 My first class of the day was an integrated mix of Algebra Two and
Pre-Calculus.  Not a great way to start the day, trust me, and both, in my
opinion, are pretty worthless subjects.  After all, what was I going to
need them for?  Paying taxes?  Cutting my hair?  Shaving Wufei bald and
painting his scalp green?  So, typical of me, I just sat in the class
trying to decide how crazy a person would have to be to marry Relena.  It
required some hard thinking.
 This time no one bothered to look my way when my chair fell over.  Except,
of course, for that idiotic teacher, Mrs. Glebes.  Teachers in themselves,
granted, are mostly half-witted, since they actually went to a school so
they could go back to school, but this lady was the definition of idiotic.
Mrs. Glebes was in her mid-fifties, probably, with really oily looking
black hair and these brown eyes that almost made me sick.  She either had a
lisp or a weird accent, so everything she said was hard to understand.  Or
it might have been her huge buck teeth getting in the way.  If it weren't
for my being so polite, I might have called her the beaver.  She did, in
some odd retrospect, remind me a lot of that semi-aquatic mammal that we
all love so much.  Even if she was less than loveable.
 Anyway, the second my chair toppled, Mrs. Glebes made her way to my desk
and squinted her eyes down at me.  I wasn't looking all that graceful at
the time, still dazed from the impact of the fall and hurting a bit in my
arse, but seeing her stare down at me wasn't my cup of tea in a normal
situation.  This only made it worse.
 "Mistaw Maxwell," she drawled in the odd dialect of hers.  "What have yew
been dewing now to make yew act like in such an ungentlemanly mannaw?"
 Did I forget to mention that Mrs. Glebes had a thing about girls acting
'lady-like' and guys acting like 'young gentlemen?'  She hated Jenny, a
pretty blonde girl who sat three desks in front of me, because she tended
to drape her leg over the her desk during class.  I wasn't sure why though,
because Jenny had a pair of really great looking legs.
 "Mrs. Glebes, I was just... I... I..."  I was at a loss for words.  If any
of the others had been there, I think they would have had a heart attack or
something.  Since I'm not very good at coming up with good replies right on
the spot, I just pulled a random quote out of my head.  "I had to fall, to
lose it all, but in the end it didn't matter, Mrs. G."
 Some of the class tittered at that, probably the ones who recognized the
quote from literature class.  Mrs. Glebes didn't appreciate it at all, for
a couple reasons.  None of which were the ones I was expecting.  I guess
she wasn't a literature buff.  "Mistaw Maxwell, how daw yew wefaw to me in
such a mannaw!"  It took me a minute to translate that, but it came out to
be 'how dare you refer to me in such a manner.'
 "Ma'am, I..."  After what seemed like an eternity, my head finally
supplied an answer.  "I would appreciate it if you would explain the..." I
scanned the front black board quickly.  "The law of tangent in more depth."
 Mrs. Glebes squinted at me, like she was trying to see past my face into
my mind.  Then she nodded.  "Vewy well, Mistaw Maxwell.  We will discuss it
aftaw classes."
 I groaned.  Out of one mess and into another.  Now I had to actually talk
to Mrs. Glebes after school!  Talking to any teacher longer than you have
to is horrible by itself, but Mrs. Glebes!
 I pulled my chair back into its upright position, grumbling quietly to
myself.  When Mrs. Glebes was out of visual range, I put my head down on my
desk and shut my eyes, more to block out the world than to spite her.
 I woke up to the sound of the bell and that of students gathering together
their books.  The sound of about thirty students leaving a room is almost
deafening.  Yawning, I gathered mine together too.  I had history next,
which would give me plenty of time for another nap.  And it wasn't like
history was useful anyway.  Just learning about a bunch of wars that really
matter what way you slice it, and that's about all you really need to know
about them.
 The bell for lunch was ringing before I knew it.  After snoozing through
both my history class and my Japanese class, I was more or less feeling
human, despite the fact that I still had an appointment with Mrs. Glebes
after classes.  Being in a private school has its ups and downs, I guess.
So far I hadn't found any ups, but I was sure they were there somewhere.
If I hadn't learned anything, I should have learned that.
 Forget kindergarten, everything I needed to know I learned in the war.
 I went upstairs to my dorm room before lunch, to put away all the text
books that had really only served as some lousy pillows that morning.
That's unusual for me, I suppose, since I normally avoid that room at all
costs.  I guess that I was kind of hoping to see if the crazy soldier
fiance guy was really going to be rooming with me.  My feelings on the
issue were half and half; it would be nice if this guy was tolerable and a
lot of fun and could put up with me, but I wasn't sure if I wanted another
room mate to bail on me.  Trust me, that really does something negative to
your self esteem.
 But, as of yet, there were no changes in my cozy little sanctuary.  If he
was coming, it wouldn't be for awhile yet.  So I went on down to lunch.
 The others had saved me a seat at their table, and someone had already
gotten me a lunch.  Wufei, probably.  I smiled, remembering a time not long
before Heero left, and a little before Mari Maia tried to take control.
The four of us- Wufei was off somewhere doing who knows what- were off in
some park for a picnic.  The notion of Heero at a picnic was enough to
crack anyone up, granted, but what was really great was the outfit he wore
to it.  But that's another story.
 Anyway, we were all sitting on a bench somewhere, and Heero and I went off
to leave the love bunnies alone.  When we came back, Heero was a bit peeved
because there was only enough room on the bench for one person to sit.  So
he came up with the easiest solution.
 He lifted the iron bench right off it's foundation and deposited Quatre
and Trowa on the cement ground.  They didn't even notice, I think; they
just continued playing kissy-face with each other.  Looking back on it, I'm
kind of sorry I never showed Heero how to play the game.  Even though I
wouldn't have been caught dead playing kissy-face with a guy wearing a pair
of fishing pants and a tank top.  Stupid me, I'd gone and done his laundry
for him.  I seem to recall missing those spandex shorts and wanting to know
more of his cute rear end.  I did, and I was extremely happy.  Needless to
say, Heero was not.
 I snapped out of my reveries when someone grabbed me by my jacket collar.
I was half pulled and half dragged over to the table.  Wufei almost threw
me down onto the bench.  Rubbing my neck, I looked up at the Chinese boy,
dazed.
 "What were you doing?" Wufei hissed, teeth bared.  Quatre watched wide
eyed, but he was still shoveling food into his mouth as he did.  Trowa
watched, indifferent, as he sipped from a plastic glass.  What is it with
plastic glasses, anyway?  Isn't that kind of hypocritical?  And what idiot
first thought that up, anyway?  Shouldn't they be called plastics instead
of glasses?  It didn't make sense at all.
 "What was I doing?" I asked.  Wufei frowned at me, but there was confusion
written in his eyes.  "I don't remember.  I was thinking about the park.
And the fishing pants Heero wore."
 Trowa pressed his mouth into a thin line.  "That was fairly amusing," he
recalled.
 Quatre lay his fork down and swallowed the piles of food he had deposited
in his mouth.  "You don't know what you were doing?"  I shrugged.  "You did
that without... Duo, you're joking, aren't you?  Please say you are."
 "No, should I be?  What did I do?"  I really was confused now.  Especially
when I saw the knife clutched in my fist.  I didn't remember picking that
up.  And, when I saw the faint glimmer of an anxious tear in Wufei's eye, I
knew something strange was going on.
 "You honestly don't know?" Quatre asked again, voice quivering in his
concern.  I sighed.
 "Obviously not.  And where did this knife come from?"
 Trowa gave the other two a little shake of his head, and they shut up
before they could tell me anything.  Then the uni-banged pilot continued
eating his lunch.  I sighed, knowing that, with Trowa around, I wasn't
going to find out anything.  It was almost like he felt like he had to
protect me, ever since he'd let slip that Heero wasn't actually six feet
under.  But it must have been really hard on him; his hands were shaking
and his eye was twitching a little bit.  I had the feeling that he was
trying to decide if telling me how I'd worried Wufei so much that he nearly
 Quatre cleared his throat.  "Duo, have you seen Miss Relena yet?" he
asked, giving Trowa his big 'don't-get-mad-at-me' look.  "Do you know if
she's made an appearance yet?"
 I shrugged.  "I dunno, but no one's been in my room since this morning."
 Wufei smirked.  "You checked?"  I nodded, a bit sheepish.  "I believe
that's a change for you, Maxwell."
 "Didn't we agree that you were going to call me Duo for now on?"
 Wufei shrugged.  "Old habits die hard," he told me, smirk growing into
what may have been a small smile.  I grinned back.  "But I'm doing my best
to remember.  Eat your lunch."  I shrugged and swallowed a bite of the
poison the cafeteria likes to call food.  It really wasn't that bad, for a
change.
 "Smurf-a-licious!" I cried out happily, already letting the previous five
minutes fade into the store room of my mind, never to be seen again.
 This remark resulted in quite a few stares in my direction.  I waved a
brief hello to all my loyal viewers, some of which were giggling and others
of which were muttering to their neighbors, probably about how I was going
to end up in a snug white coat drawing on the walls with a blue crayon.
After all, I was a former Gundam pilot.  I grinned even wider.  It was only
natural that I would be a little bit crazy.  It was the stereotype we, the
Gundam pilots, had all been fitted with, after all, wasn't it?
 Wufei was frowning.  "Duo, what does that mean?"
 "What, smurf-a-licious?"
 "Well, yes, that too," Wufei admitted.  "But what does that phrase you
said earlier mean?"
 "Phrase I said earlier?  Wu-man, you know Japanese better than I do!" I
protested, startled.  I was trying to stall while I thought up a good way
to explain 'smurf-a-licious,' too.  "Did I say it too quickly or something?"
 Trowa and Quatre exchanged another one of those looks.  Quatre interceded.
"You said it in English, Duo."  He thought a moment.  "It sounded like..."
Then he said the words, slowly, as if he was trying hard to remember it.  I
looked at him wide-eyed.
 "When did I say that?"
 "What does it mean, Duo?" Quatre asked.  If I didn't know any better, I
would have thought he was scared.  And I couldn't blame him, I never would
have said the phrase he had just repeated for me unless I had gone
completely insane.  "Please tell us."
 I shrugged.  "When did I say it?"
 Trowa frowned.  "Just before Wufei instated you over to the table.  What
is it's definition?"
 I had to smile at that.  Trust Trowa to put something simple into big
words.  "The closest definition I could give you in Japanese would be
something you probably wouldn't want to hear," I warned them.  Quatre
tilted his head thoughtfully.
 "Tell us, Maxwell!"  Wufei looked angry now.  I couldn't blame him for
that, either.  I was stalling, and they all knew it.  But I kind of doubted
that they would blame me, after I told them what it meant.
 I said it in English first, then repeated myself in the one language we
can all understand.  "I can't help the god-damn fucking dead."  The words
sounded harsh on my lips, and I swallowed hard, trying to convince myself
that Quatre hadn't heard me correctly before.  I think I already knew that
Quatre's repetition of my English words were right enough.
 The others were silent at first.  Then Quatre cleared his throat.  "That's
what it meant?" he asked, shocked.  I nodded.  He gave a strangled cough,
then a choked laugh.  "Well, it was very... colorful, I have to say."
 "Yeah."
 We were silent for a long while.  Quatre wasn't even shoveling his food
into that bottomless pit of his.  That by itself was a shocker.  They were
taking it much better than I had expected.  Which wasn't saying much.
 "Smurf-o-licious is from a television show," I said finally, breaking the
silence.  "A show about these little blue people about an inch high with
creepy pants called smurfs.  I don't think they age at all," I mused to
myself.  Then I continued.  "They have their own little community and
they're always getting chased around by cats and evil wizards and stuff.
And they have one girl in the whole place."
 Trowa almost smiled.  "Smart little blue people."
 I snorted, understanding that Trowa was doing the same thing I was, trying
to lighten the gloomy mood that we'd thrown into the wind.  After all, you
have to admit, suddenly yelling out that you can't help the deceased is
probably a bit shocking, especially if you don't remember saying anything
about it.  "Yeah, right.  The next thing you'll say is that-"
 Trowa interrupted.  "Sex would be great if women weren't involved."
 Wufei shook his head.  "In your case, they aren't."  That made me grin,
and Quatre blush.  Trowa didn't reply, but went back to picking at his
food.  He looked deep in thought, but I knew it definitely wasn't about
dead people.  When he lay down his fork, it was with a slight smile and a
resonated sigh.
 "Quatre, come with me up to our dorm?" he asked.  "I seem to have lost my
appetite.  And," he continued slowly, looking down on the floor around his
seat, "I believe I have forgotten my papers for class."
 Quatre frowned.  "But they're- oh.  Yes, I'll go with you."  He stood up.
"Good bye, Duo, Wufei.  We will see you during chemistry."
 "Bye Q."  I watched them leave.  Then I leaned over to Wufei.  "I think
Trowa must have done some good forgetting to need Q's help finding his
school papers," I said quietly, with a grin.  "Trowa must have some
interesting side activities planned."
 Wufei choked on his food and gave the side of my head a little punch.
"Shut up, Maxwell.  Their personal lives are not for you to question."
Then he smirked.  "Why is it you have nicknames for both me and Quatre but
not for Trowa?"
 I shrugged.  "Because Trowa gets enough nicknames from Q.  Like Snuggle
Bunny and Sweet Muffin.  And Trowa-kins and Love Camel."
 Wufei strangled what may have been a laugh.  "I don't believe Trowa fits
any of those names, Duo."  He paused.  "Love Camel?"
 "Well, it makes sense.  Q is Arabian, after all.  You would think he would
fondly remember some of the animals that come from his native land."  I
grinned.
 He rolled his eyes.  Then he hesitated.  "Did you have a nickname for
Heero?" he asked slowly, as if saying it slower would help ease my pain.
 I bit my lip.  "None that I would ever tell him about."
 Wufei snorted.  "That means that you had one or two."
 "Or three or four or five."  I grinned.  "And it's have, not had.  He's
still out there, somewhere, I'm sure of that.  He's just not ready to make
an appearance in the world of the living and breathing yet.  I may tell him
when he decides he is ready, though, if I'm feeling suicidal.  Not that he
was ever ready before, he seemed a bit creeped out by the outside world,
and with a blonde princess following him around, who could blame him?"
 By this time I could tell that Wufei was zoning me out, and that was just
fine with me.  It gave me time to think about stuff before the lunch bell
rang again.  Like about that brief interlude in time where it seemed I'd
done some pretty strange things.  Ending up with a knife clenched in one
fist and talking about dead people, in English, no less, which wasn't even
the language I'd grown up with, was probably the least of my worries.  I
wouldn't be surprised if I'd jumped on top of a table and started praying
to Jack the Ripper.  Or ranting about miracles, Shinigami, and sinking
waste deep into a newly filled grave.  I wondered faintly if I'd done stuff
like that before, and just not have known about it.  I also wondered if it
was some sort of Zero System side effect, but quickly dismissed that
notion.  After all, the Zero System was dead, and if it had been some sort
of reaction, Quatre would have had it first.  Probably.  Most likely.  Or
at least that's what I told myself to reassure my jumping nerves.
 I began to wonder if I was just going crazy.  For a brief minute or two, I
was positive that that was the answer.  I'd been wondering for awhile if
that was why I was the way I was.  It wasn't too hard to believe, really,
since I've heard a lot of war veterans come out nut cases.  Who was to say
I was any different?  There are a lot of crazy people in the world, after
all.  There had been times when I had been certain that I was insane, and
that I had slid off the cracker a long time ago.  But, the question really
was, do crazy people know that they're crazy?  And, if they do know that
they're crazy, are they really crazy at all?
 Ah, the universal question.  It goes up on the list with did the chicken
or the egg come first, is there a holy presence watching over us, and what
happens to that other sock that you know you put in the washer with the
rest of the laundry.
 I bet no teacher knows the answer to those babies.  Yeah, baby.
 Something was tugging a little on the end of my braid, and I snatched it
away protectively, then looked down.  Wufei was watching something on the
floor with utmost interest, and I suddenly saw why.  I let go of my hair.
 It was probably the cutest kitten I had ever seen in my life, black with a
little spot of white on the end of it's nose.  I tilted my head like Quatre
does when he's puzzled or interested in something and saw Wufei give a
little smile.
 "It's been trying to get to your braid for almost a whole minute now,"
Wufei told me.  "A very persistent creature."
 "I bet."  The kitten tugged on my braid again, and this time it got a good
hold.  I winced and reached down, picking it up.  "Don't you know pets
aren't supposed to be in the cafeteria?" I asked it.  The silly animal just
stared at me and purred, then reached out a paw and batted at my bangs.
Wufei smirked.
 "It likes you."
 "I guess.  Who do you think it belongs to?"
 Wufei shook his head.  "No one, I believe.  It's probably one of the
kittens the library cat was carrying."
 "What library cat?"
 Wufei sighed.  "There's a cat that the librarian lets stay in the library
office.  It was expecting kittens last I heard, about a month ago.  This
must be one of them.  You could probably keep it, if you wished.  The
librarian was complaining about the animals, and she was going to send the
kittens to a shelter as soon as they were old enough.  You may be saving
it's life."
 A little heart string twinged at the mention of an animal shelter.  I'm
well aware that a shelter is a nice place for animals, but, ever since I
found out what they do to the poor things if they stay too long, I've held
places like that in utter contempt.  When Wufei mentioned shelters, I knew
that I was going to keep the cat.
 "I've never had a cat before," I thought aloud.  Wufei gave me what was
almost a smile.  "What am I supposed to do with it?"
 "You may want to feed it."
 I chuckled.  "You think?  I wonder if it eats like Q does.  If so, I'm
going to be feeding it a whole lot."  I set the kitten down on the table
and let it nose at my half eaten lunch.  "It better be toilet trained,
because I'm not going to be cleaning up after it."
 Wufei snorted.  "I don't believe cat's are toilet trained, Duo."
 "That's not true.  That guy on that movie did it.  The one with the guy
who like the girl who had the weird dad who had the crazy cat with the blue
eyes named Jinx or something?"
 My Chinese companion raised an eyebrow.  "Meet the Parents?"
 "Yeah, that was it.  Good movie.  Old, though.  When did it come out?
Hundred years ago?  Two?  Three and a half?"  Wufei was ignoring me again.
This time it did bother me a little.  "Is this a girl cat or a boy cat?" I
asked him.  He stared at me.
 "How am I supposed to know?"
 "You could check."
 "It's your cat."
 "So what?  You saw it first."
 "I'm not going to check."
 "Wufei..."  The bell rang.
 "You're going to be late for class," Wufei told me, standing up and
depositing his tray in the trash.  The cat was still nosing at my lunch,
but I picked it up and tucked it under one arm, dumping my tray into the
trash along with Wufei's.  The cat squeaked indignantly, so I shifted so
that I was carrying more or less like the people in movies did.  I guess I
was doing it right, because the cat started to purr.
 "What am I supposed to do with it?"
 "Put it in your dorm.  Or take it to class with you.  I'm sure your
professor will enjoy it."  With those final words, Wufei began to sprint up
the stairwell to his own classroom.
 "She'll probably eat it.  With ketchup," I grumbled good naturedly.  But,
as I didn't exactly want my newly acquired cat to run away if some idiot
opened the door to my dorm room for my new room mate, I opened up my book
bag and put it in there.  I have one of those shoulder back packs, so I
could see it fairly easily while I was making the long journey up the
hallway and down the stairs  The cat's little black and white nose peeked
up out of the not-quite-closed bag, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
 My English teacher smiled at me as I walked into the room.  She really
wasn't as bad as I made her out to be.  I was even doing fairly well in her
class, getting a low C, at least.  She was young and timid, and because
this was her first year teaching, I didn't really have the heart to fail
her class.  Something in my head told me it would just break her heart to
have to fail a student, or to discipline one.  Which was good, because she
saw the cat I had stowed in my bag as I took my seat in the back of the
room.  Any of my other teachers would have thrown my bag- cat still inside-
out of the window.  Or so I believed, at the time.
 Class started a mere two seconds after I had seated myself, and, while the
teacher was talking, I took the cat out of my bag and set it on my lap.  As
long as no one else in the class saw it, everything would be okay.  And it
was quite likely that no one would see it, since I was the only one sitting
in the back row.  It seemed that the rest of my classmates were trying to
avoid the pilot of Deathscythe.  Or just all the Gundam pilots in general.
And that was fine with me.
 Class was about half way over when there was a knock on the door.  I
looked up from my cat (which I had discovered, more or less by accident,
was a girl) to see just what it was that was delaying the lecture.  The
teacher crossed over and opened the door a crack, to see who was out there,
then nodded her head and turned back to the class.
 "I'll be right back," she told everyone in her pretty little voice.  Then
she went outside, into the hallway.  I shrugged and went back to petting my
supposed, since one of my class mates turned around and sneered at me.
 "Where'd you get the cat, Duo Maxwell?" he asked rapaciously.  His name
was Bodie, and he was probably the very definition of jock.  Big shoulders,
big muscles, and tiny brain.
 I looked up at him and gave him a grade A crazy Duo grin.  He faltered a
bit, but not enough to back off.  "Did you steal it?  I heard you were a
thief back where you come from," he continued, ignoring my glare.
 I tilted my head a little, trying to get that innocent look Quatre always
manages to pull off when he does that.  "Do you even know where I'm from,
Bodie?"
 Bodie gave me a mean smile.  "Hell, perhaps?"
 "Perhaps."  Before I could continue, the door opened again, and the
teacher stepped back in, along with a teenage boy about half a foot shorter
than I was.  But it wasn't his height that really got to me, or the way the
teacher was grinning madly at us, telling us all to welcome this guy as our
new class mate.  What really got to me was how he looked.
 I inhaled a deep breath.  "Heero...?" I murmured, not quite able to
believe that this was happening.  Then his eyes fell on me, and I saw that
they weren't Heero's eyes at all.  No, they were gold, not blue, and they
showed not even the faintest flicker of recognition when they passed over
me.  I looked away and bit my lip, wishing the pain that was throwing
itself against my heart would go away.
 A tiny indignant squeak in my lap brought me back to my senses.  In my
mixture of surprise, shock, and rage, my grip had tightened on the kitten.
She didn't like that at all.  So I relaxed my hands and waited for the
teacher to continue her speech.  I know that the kitten appreciated it.
 "Lon, would you like to tell everyone a little bit about yourself?"
 The boy could have been Heero's twin, but for those eyes.  "I am Lon Yao."
 He said nothing but for that, although the rest of the class was waiting
for him to say something else.  He crossed his arms in front of his chest
and glared at us all.  I grinned.  He was like Heero in more ways than one.
Fate had put her cruel hand back in to torture poor me just a little bit
more.  But I couldn't let Fate win.  Not yet, anyway.  As long as I avoided
this Lon character, I couldn't be pained too much.
 The teacher cleared her throat.  "Right.  Lon, why don't you go sit next
to Duo Maxwell?"
 I cursed mentally.  Never challenge Fate.  She is a goddess more fickle
than even Shinigami, and she's more than willing to prove it.
 Lon took the seat next to me, and, as his gaze passed over the cat in my
lap, I think I saw the faint beginnings of a smile.  I also saw that his
eyes weren't gold at all, but kind of a crazy kaleidoscope of greens,
yellows, and grays.   It was pretty cool, all in all.
 As the teacher began to drone again, I leaned over and touched Lon's
shoulder.  "Hey, what dorm are you staying in?"
 The glare he gave me was enough to rival any of Heero's death glares.  I
winced, more out of habit than of instinct, and scratched my cat behind her
black ears.  The corner of Lon's mouth was threatening to pull up into what
was almost a smile.  It was reassuring, in a way.  After all, if you can
make someone smile, you know they aren't totally in control of everything.
That's the way I looked at things, anyway.
 "This is my cat.  You like her?  You can pet her, if you want."
 Lon didn't answer my question, though he did reach out a hand and stroked
the kitten's back, but went on to ask one of his own.  "What is her name?"
 "I don't know yet.  Maybe you can help me think of one later, okay?  What
dorm are you staying in?" I asked again.  I figured he would have to answer
me sooner or later.
 Lon must have figured that out too, because he didn't even hesitate to
answer me this time.  Sure, his sentence was clipped and incomplete, but it
was an answer no less.  He was reminding me more and more of Heero as each
second passed by.  I didn't like that very much, and I was sincerely hoping
that his dorm was on the opposite side of the school from mine.  It would
help my aching heart just a little if that was the case.
 "213."  I sighed to myself, knowing that, once again, Fate had taken hand.
It really wasn't fair.  It wasn't fair at all, and I guess the way I was
composing myself made my opinion on that quite obvious.  Lon looked a bit
puzzled at my reaction, and really, who could blame him?
 "That's great," I told him with one of my genuinely fake grins.  "You and
I are going to be rooming together."
**********
Okay, I know part six was really late in coming, and, when it did come, it
wasn't really all that great, nor was it very exciting.  Sorry it's been so
long, but things have come up which were beyond my control, not to mention
that I had a horrible bout of writers block.  And I'd like to give my most
sincere thanks to the Jabberwalky, who gave me all sorts of ideas and
advice for this part of the story.  They were all really helpful, and I
hope the rest of you people will send me your ideas as well, because it all
comes in handy.  You know the deal, write to me at [email protected].
More letters mean faster writing!  Ja ne!                     ~*Hawk*~

I don't own the GW boys or other characters, and I'm glad. Have you ever thought about how much it would cost to FEED them?!? Sure, I could borrow money from Quatre, but... Anyways, yaoi, angst, and death, because I like to dabble with death. And I DON'T believe in happy endings.

**********

Part Seven: As it turned out, Fate wanted Lon Yao to be my worst nightmare. Not only did he look way to much like Heero for my own personal comfort, he acted too much like him too. Except for one trivial fact: he was engaged to Relena Peacecraft, former Queen of the World. I bet Relena was thrilled about that, getting married to someone who was almost exactly like the one person she had been pining after for nearly forever. And it made even more sense that she would come here after the engagement. She knew exactly how much seeing someone who could pass for Heero himself was going to hurt us. Me, especially. And I wasn't quite sure that hurting me was not her only intention. It wasn't until gym class, yet another class that I shared with Lon, that I figured all that out. My teacher for gym wasn't nearly as nice as the English teacher, and I had the feeling that he wouldn't take to kindly to my new, adorable, and innocent pet. So I showed up for the first five minutes, for roll call, with my kitten in my bag, then ditched the class. He wouldn't notice anyway, I was sure; this teacher tended to doze off and let the rest of us do whatever we pleased for the remainder of the class. Lon watched me go, but didn't say anything. I was grateful for that, at least. When Lon had moved into my dorm, or our dorm, as I guess it was now, he had apparently packed light. There was a trunk at the end of the bed closest to the window, which I supposed was his, and a lap top set on the end table. The lap top bothered me a little bit, but I let it slide. After all, a lot of people own lap tops nowadays. I had even considered getting one myself not to long ago, then decided not to waste my money when I could just "borrow" someone else's. It wasn't thievery, it was a simple matter of transferring ownership. Besides, Quatre didn't care all that much, once he discovered where his had gone. I had returned it, though, after about a week. With all that stupid beeping and those annoying error messages, I didn't see what the big deal was. Of course, it might have helped if I had stolen the owners manual along with the computer. The kitten was very happy to be let out of my bag. I couldn't blame her, really. I don't like to be around school books any longer than I have to, either. She jumped onto my bed with a sudden spring of fur and muscle and made herself at home, lying down immediately on my pillow. She peeked up at me with her green cat eyes. I sat down there too with a sigh. Reaching over, I stroked her back carefully, and she closed her eyes, purring happily. "Now, little one," I said softly. "What am I going to do with you?" There was no answer from the said party but for the soft rumble of purring. "Cats need all sorts of things." I twisted around suddenly, trying to get a good look at the owner of the sudden voice. Trowa stood there, leaning slightly against the door, arms crossed and eyes closed. "Litter and food are among the least of them. I could probably get most of those for you, if you like." "Hey, Trowa. Didn't know you were here. And that would be great, if you could." "I thought not." Trowa opened his eyes. "I have a free period during these hours, and I saw you in here. You left the door open," he informed me nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes. That was obvious enough; it would have had to been open, unless Trowa has some sort of X-ray vision that he hasn't told us about. "When did a kitten come into your possession?" "Just before lunch ended, after you and Q left on one of your exertions," I told him. Trowa didn't bother to react to my off handed reference to his earlier activities. "Silly thing was playing with my braid." "One of the library cat's, I assume." "Did everyone know about that dumb library cat but me?" I exclaimed, not quite surprised. This was Trowa, after all, and Trowa was an animal person. He had to be. "I guess it is. How did a cat who spends all her time in the library end up with kittens, anyway?" Trowa almost smiled at that. "She is a cat. It is instinct." "Whatever." There was a short paused. "I met Relena's new friend. He's in my English class, and gym." I looked at Trowa suspiciously. "How is it that you have a free period? I thought we all had full schedules." Trowa shrugged. "My math course is of a higher level than yours. We are allowed to teach ourselves, if we wish." "Whatever floats your boat," I said, rubbing the kitten's fuzzy chin. Her purring got to be louder than ever. "Hey, does this school allow you to have pets?" Stupid question, I realized too late, since the library had its own cat. Trowa ignored me anyway, so my stupidity didn't matter at all. "What is the infamous fiance like?" I stared at my feet. "His name is Lon Yao, and... well, he's pretty much exactly like Heero. Except that he was stupid enough to get hitched with Relena. And his eyes aren't blue, they're kaleidoscope gold. And I almost Trowa smirked. "Those seem to be more than a few differences." He was silent for a long moment, but I had the feeling that he was trying to say something important. So I waited. "I am sorry that we did not tell you about Heero," he said finally. "It's not a big deal, Trowa. You guys were just trying to keep me from hurting. You failed, of course," I said, rolling up my sleeve and resting my hand on the bandage I had applied not two days before. "But it all turned out okay. I have no plans to kill myself just yet, I haven't completely snapped, and life is turning out pretty good. And," I continued, grinning widely, "my day has been okay so far. No Relena in sight." "Yes. I suppose that is a good thing." Trowa looked not at me, but at the wall behind me. I suddenly knew that he had more to say to me than that. "What is it, Trowa?" He cleared his throat. "When you in the cafeteria, you said some very unusual things, Duo." "During or after my brief spout of insanity?" "Before, during, and afterwards," he admitted, and I realized that this little speech was something he had been thinking about for quite a long time. Perhaps since before we even came to this pit of a school. "I have spoken with Wufei and Quatre, and we have all agreed that you have been acting oddly for awhile now. I, personally, believe that you should converse with the school's resident psychiatrist." Well, that stopped me dead in my tracks. Whatever I had planned to say before erased itself from my tired and dream ridden mind. It's one thing to think that you're crazy, but an entirely different thing to have your friends think that you're crazy. And having Trowa tell me I should see a shrink did not make me a happy camper. "You think I'm crazy." "No. Duo, I think you have a problem you need to work out. A doctor would only help you along the path to recovery. I do not think that you are incapable of helping yourself, I just, as a friend, am trying to make it take as little time as possible." A man of little words, this was probably as long a speech as I had ever heard Trowa give me. And it still hadn't ended. "You are not insane, I am sure of that. Duo, you must believe me when I say that I am only trying to help you the best way I know how." I stared at him. My mouth opened and shut like I was a goldfish, but no words were coming out. I had long ceased petting my kitten, and it stared at me with curiosity in its eyes. I finally pulled myself together just enough to speak. "What did I do in the cafeteria that I can't remember?" Trowa was silent. "Tell me, god dammit! Trowa, if you're my friend, I want you to tell me what the hell is going on!" I stood up and got a good grip on his arm. "Trowa," I threatened through gritted teeth. He was a good head taller than me, and a lot stronger, I knew that, and could probably have broken my grip as easily as he could breathe, yet he made no move. He was silent still. I blinked a few times and let go of his arm. I sat heavily on the bed, face in my hands. "Trowa, please tell me what's happening." I was close to tears and I honestly didn't care who knew it. I was suffering from lack of sleep, I had just been told I was crazy, and now my friend wasn't even going to give me any answers. I swallowed hard, but the lump in my throat wouldn't budge. "What's wrong with me?" I sobbed quietly into my hands. I couldn't stop my tears this time. It was only a few tears, one or two, but I never cried, so it was shocking to me. I don't think I even cried back home on L2, when everyone I knew and loved had died. Being a war orphan had hardened me to pain, and it was impossible for me to cry. In some ways, I may have put more barriers and walls around me than even Heero had. The strongest walls to breach aren't made of stone and mortar, but of fear and anxiety. And somehow Trowa and I had managed, in all a matter of minutes, to break down every source of protection I had against my emotions. Trowa saw my difficulty and crossed over to me. Sitting just behind me on my bed, he put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me back towards him, so in my state of need, and something in my brain told me that I was going to be okay. But I still couldn't stop the few tears that trickled down my cheeks. He whispered something to me, probably the same thing my brain was trying to tell me, but I couldn't hear him. Instead I twisted at the waist and threw my arms around his shoulders and let my sobs wrench themselves out of me. Trowa knew what I needed, I think, even if I didn't, and he removed his hands from my shoulders and repositioned his arms so that they were hugging me slightly around the waist. I totally lost control then, and the flood gates opened. I wept like the child I never was allowed to be, the child that war had forbidden to let appear. I heard the bell ring for the next class, but neither Trowa nor I payed it any attention. We just sat there, me crying and Trowa encouraging me to do so. It wasn't good to hold back tears, he told me sometime later, when everything was over with, and it was better to let them all out, even if it was just sometime during the night and you had to cry into your pillow to muffle your sobs. Good advice, even if it did come from a clown. Or maybe it meant all the more because it came from a clown. When I finally ran out of tears, class was already mostly over. It was only literature, which I really didn't care about anyway, so I decided not to go at all. Trowa stayed with me, maybe just to make sure I was all right, but maybe, just maybe, because he knew I needed him to stay there for a little while. "What class are you missing?" I asked him when I finally got my voice under control. "Music. Quatre will be wondering where I am, no doubt. I'll tell him later." I gave Trowa the best glare I could, teary eyes and all. He chuckled. "You better not tell him that I cried. Or Wufei either. I'd never live it down." Trowa nodded. "No need to worry about that. I wouldn't say anything." I eyed him suspiciously. Then I laughed. "I believe you." I looked around for my kitten, then saw that she was lying where I had last seen her, on the pillow, with her eyes closed and her furry little chest rising and falling with the streams of her breath. I sighed. "Trowa, I'm so confused," I told him, brushing my long bangs away from my face. "Everything should be all right, but it's not. I mean, the war's over, and I know that Heero's still out there, somewhere, and I still have all you guys. But I feel like I'm in a room with a lot of people, and I'm blindfolded, but no one else is. So they can see what's going on, and I can't." Trowa watched my face closely with concerned eyes. "Do you have any idea what I mean?" "I think I do." Trowa looked away from me. "Wufei is a better friend to you than I. Perhaps you should talk this over with him." "No. Trowa, Wufei may be the closest thing to a best friend that I have right now, but I don't think he can understand exactly what I'm trying to tell him." I stared up at the ceiling. "Man, I sound pretty morbid, huh? Happy Duo, that's me." I laughed. "Bet you never thought you'd see the day when I started talking serious." "I can't say that I expected to see such a day, no. But I am glad I was here to witness it." Trowa was silent for a moment. "You know that the three of us are always here if you need to talk, Duo, but I still want you to make an appointment with the psychiatrist." I was about to protest again, but he raised a hand to stop me. "Not because you are crazy, but because you seem to want to get the help." I hesitated. I really didn't want to give in, but I didn't feel like fighting, either. Especially not after the time I'd just had. Crying into your friend's shirt was not my idea of a good time, and I kind of doubted that being on the receiving end wasn't Trowa's cup of tea either. And he had to go around the rest of the day in a soggy uniform. I somewhat doubted that he would care about that, though, since he holds the uniform in just as much contempt as I do. I even got him to wear his old clown garb to chem once. Just once. It doesn't take much to please me. Just a few mild catastrophes and one or two disasters, and I'm good to go. Now that is my idea of fun. And that was exactly why everyone thought I was one sock short of a pair. I stood up and stretched a little. Then I looked back at Trowa. "Does this school have a shrink?" I asked, a bit sheepish. "And if so, where's the office?" "Yes, they have quite a few psychiatrists. I'll show you to their office tomorrow, alright?" "Fine." I guess I should have known. This place had everything, and I was the only one ignorant of it all. I had found out quite a bit in the past two days, not the least being that I was crazy. Libraries, cats, and shrinks, oh my! The bell for chemistry was going to ring at any minute, so I handed Trowa his books. "Q is going to be waiting for you in your music class. I'm not going to go to chem today, alright? Tell the teacher that I'm not feeling so hot, and tell the assistant that she doesn't have to schedule any labs today. I swear, she assigns those things just so she can exclude me from them!" "I believe you may be right." "You aren't helping." Trowa shrugged. "Don't say I did not try." I grinned. "I won't. Have fun in chem, Trowa." I opened the door as the bell rang, and Trowa walked out, nodding to me as he went. I sighed and fell back onto my bed, petting the cat. She was happy, anyway. That was more than I could say for myself. A lot more than what I could say for myself. I'd stopped crying, at least. That was always a plus. I guess I fell asleep again, because the next thing that I remember was waking up to my door shutting and someone walking in. I propped myself up on my elbows, well aware that I was in a rather strange position. Lon gave me a look, then set his stuff down on a table nearby. "Class is over, I take it?" "Aren't we the smart one." It wasn't a question, it was an insult. And it did not take kindly. I glared at him, then returned to lying on my back, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't care. That didn't surprise me much; he was a lot like Heero, after all. Why should anything I say or do vex him in the least? It hadn't Heero, in any case. The ceiling, I quickly discovered, was probably the most boring part of the entire room. It wasn't long before I grew to dislike it. I think I may be the first person to hate a ceiling. Or maybe not, the world had been around for quite a long time, longer than I had been, anyway. You can tell a lot from a ceiling. Well, a little, anyway. Like how old a building is, or what kind of person first owned it, or even a little about the time period it was made in. Really, you can. There are almost as many different styles of ceiling patterns as there are houses, which makes sense, as each house has its own style. It's almost like people with their clothes. Ceilings are wonderful things. "So, how was your first day of prep hell?" I asked my incredibly talkative room mate. He didn't answer, surprise surprise. So I knew I would have to worm answers out of him. I hadn't done that for a long time, not since awhile before Heero had disappeared. I mean, even Wufei and Trowa were talking more now. "Did you enjoy it?" "Hn." He even sounded like Heero. Man, this was turning into my own private hell, wasn't it? I guess Fate had it in for me, considering all those times I'd cheated her. Shinigami always lands on his feet, in my experience, anyway. Even when he has a date with Fate. Only this little get together wasn't going so well. Poor me. "How's Relena?" I couldn't believe I was asking this. I couldn't stand Relena, and I was pretty sure that if there was anyone in this school who didn't know it right now, they'd know before the week was out. Lon only shrugged. "Fine." "Well, aren't we Mr. Personality today. What's wrong, woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something?" Lon shrugged again. "Something like that." He wouldn't talk any more, no matter how much I tried to make him. I sighed. Lon, I decided, was probably going to be a pain the ass. It would be best just to pretend that he wasn't there. Which would be easy enough, if he continued to ignore me and type on that stupid lap top of his. He was even worse than Heero had been! I reached down under my bed and pulled out the book containing dream interpretations I had just taken the night before. Lon looked up at me as I sat back down on my bed, book in my lap. As the leather cover of the book cracked, due to its age, Lon snorted. I glared up at him. "What now?" Lon smirked. "Nothing, except that Relena would be shocked to find that you know how to read," he told me. It wasn't the words he said, but the tone in which he said them in that really got to me. The hairs on the back of my neck bristled a little in my anger. It took quite a lot of control to keep me from shoving my new room mate off the balcony- which, I suddenly realized with a mental smirk, was extremely convenient, if I wished to commit homicide. I nodded instead, fists clenched and mouth pressed into a firm line. Two could play at this game, I was sure. "I'd be surprised to see if Ojousan knows how to tie her own shoe laces." Lon didn't respond. There was a long pause, and I finally gave up and went back to staring at the book in front of me. Then, as he fixed his kaleidoscope gaze on me, he spoke again. "Who is the boy in your picture?" "What?" It took a minute for his words to connect within my brain. The picture he was talking about was a pretty old one, that I'd gotten framed for my birthday one year. Nothing fancy, just a picture of me and Heero joking around. Well, I was joking around, anyway. Heero was just kind of sitting there watching me with this really weird look on his face, like he couldn't believe I was being that stupid. He was almost smiling, and the picture really flattered him. I kept it in a drawer now, because I'm not really the type of person who likes to dwell on sad stuff that happened in the past. Even if the picture did capture a happy moment, I really didn't want to have to be reminded of my lost friend every time I looked at the thing. "You went through my things?" He ignored the question. "Who is he?" I glared at him from under half closed eye lids. He had no right, whatsoever, to go through my things like that. "Just some random guy who happened to look like you. How should I know his name, it's just a picture. And, since I keep it in my drawer, it's not like I don't want to think about it or anything." "Hn." Lon paused a moment, but the brief silence was the silence of expectation. I was waiting for him to continue, and he was waiting to think of just the wrong thing to say. "Tell me who he is? Or was, I suppose." "That was Heero. I'm rather surprised you haven't heard all about him from the Ojousan. Bitch couldn't leave him alone for a damn second." My voice was touched with both rage and sarcasm. It would have made any normal person cringe. But no, of course not, Lon Yao was just as abnormal and above it all as Heero Yuy had been. "Was he your catamite?" I choked on my own breath at that. "Are you calling me a pederast?! A lover of boys?" Lon smirked, and that smirk hit a nerve. He turned off his computer. "Perhaps I was mistaken, and you are the catamite." "Now you're calling me a whore?" "Perhaps. It's possible, he could have been a pederast, after all." I rose from my spot on the bed and crossed over to where he sat, grabbing him by the shirt collar and pushing him up against the wall. "Look, I don't really care how often or how horribly you insult me, but you leave Heero out of it. Got it?" Lon smiled menacingly. There was a spark in his eyes that I really didn't like. "I knew I could wipe that stupid grin off your face," he murmured, half to himself. The he hit me in the gut. I let him go pretty quick after that, falling to my knees, holding my sides. Having the air knocked out of you is not a whole lot of fun, trust me. Lon only smirked, then smoothed his shirt and walked out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him and not once looking back at my pathetic form. I guess I was a little grateful, for that tiny courtesy. Not much though, you can be sure. It was about an hour after I'd recovered from my surprise attack and climbed back onto my bed to read that there was a knock on the door. I jerked up, startled, letting the book fall to the ground with a thud, and I checked the clock; it wasn't close to dinner hour yet, so Quatre or the others would have no reason to come by. The knock came again, gruff and impatient, and a bit louder this time. So I got up. The one thing I really hated about this school was the doors to the rooms. There's no peep hole or anything, so there's no way to see who's on the other side of the door. For all we know, it could be some maniac with a machine gun, or some strange kind of hand-held beam cannon. And, not to sound conceited or anything, but we Gundam pilots had more to worry about than anyone else here. There were still some renegade OZ sympathizers roaming around, and any one of them could easily find the information they need to make sure we pilots are never able to fight again. Honestly, everyone knows that Wing Zero was demolished, when it crashed, but no one else but the four of us knew that the Gundams had all been destroyed. We chose secret places to self destruct for a reason- if no one knew that the Gundams were kaput, who was going to try to attack? The four of us- five, if Heero had still been hanging around- could easily just pop up out of thin air and destroy any enemy forces that could possibly be hanging around. So all we really had to worry about was our personal safety; OZ still wanted to hang our heads on their walls. Mine, especially. After all, I was one of the first ones they caught- and the only one they made public about it. I can just imagine the embarrassment they all went through when I got busted out of there. But they learned their lesson after that. No reporting having caught Gundam pilots to the common people until we were executed. Beside's that, I had no qualms about opening the door. "Who is it?" I called, hoping to get a response loud enough to be heard through the thick door. It was answered with what sounded like a really low pitched growl. But it was a growl I knew. My feet moved by themselves to the door and my hands touched the lock before I realized what I was doing. I pulled my hands away as though I had been burned. If I was wrong, and it was someone else, there was no telling what could happen. But if I was right... Before I could change my mind, I yanked open the door, part nervous, part angry, and part ecstatic. There was a brief moment where nothing happened, there was just me staring at the figure standing out in my hallway and the figure staring at me. Then the figure came in. I took a step backwards as the person shut the door with his foot, watching me carefully under curious brows. I was startled, to say the least, and it was all I could do to keep staring into that steady gaze. I didn't even see the face, those first few moments, I could only stare at those amazing, observant eyes. But that didn't matter much. I had known who it was even before I had asked. Heero hadn't changed much.
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Ugh... sorry that this last chapter was pretty bad. But I had some great ideas for it, and I had even finished writing a really good version of this part when I managed to delete my entire hard drive. ARGH!!! Sorry... but, if you've never had that happen to you, it is the most annoying thing in the world. Anyway, after trying endlessly to recover all my lost data, I finally gave up and rewrote part seven. I also had a cool song fic I wanted to turn in, but it was lost with everything else... So, being as frustrated as I was, this version of part seven didn't turn out as good as I'd originally intended. I'm still going along the same plot that I had, but I tend to write in short, eccentric spouts late at night and have trouble remembering what I wrote. So I know that this is nowhere near as good as the original, but I hope it will pass. In my original plan, I earned my old reputation as a "wild writer," but I'll have to save that little episode for part eight, because I thought this part was getting a little long- plus, I liked the ending. And no, it isn't what you expect. Sorry! Fate still has a few innings to play with Duo! E-mail me at triumph@white star.com! Ja ne!
~*Hawk*~

I don't own the GW boys or other characters, and I'm glad. Have you ever thought about how much it would cost to FEED them?!? Sure, I could borrow money from Quatre, but... Anyways, yaoi, angst, and death, because I like to dabble with death. And I DON'T believe in happy endings.

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Part Eight: (WARNING --- CITRUS!!!!! )

Heero was exactly the same as I remembered him- same cold blue gaze with just a hint of life in it, same messy brown hair, same tanned skin... It was Heero alright. His clothes were different, though, which I didn't really care about. Just a pair of slightly looser jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, which, honestly, I preferred the tank top over. But I guess it would be too cold for that anyway. I was hoping the tank top would return when the weather got nicer. And, if it didn't, I would be sure to take action to make sure it did. I hate to admit it, but my first thought was how I looked. Vanity, thy name be Duo. My mind raced over my outfit, which was still a wrinkled, navy, monstrous mess, and my hair, which was starting to get loose of it's confining braid, and mostly just over if Heero would still like me when I was looking like this. I knew I had changed quite a bit, even if he hadn't changed anything but his clothes. I shouldn't have worried. This was Heero, after all. My Heero. And he wasn't doing anything but staring me straight in the eyes, anyway. I could remember a time not all that long ago when I would have flinched away after only a few seconds of his gaze. Now I could hold his stare for as long as he wished to inflict it upon me. Which, I noticed with slight amusement, wasn't long. Heero looked around my room and focused his glare on the two beds. Then he growled. Softly, so that I knew he wasn't really angry or anything. Just being typical Heero. "Who's your room mate?" "An asshole named Lon Yao. He looks like you. And he's supposed to marry Relena." I paused. "You jerk. Where were you?" "It doesn't matter." I was furious with him by now. "Yes, it does matter! It matters to me! Do you have any idea what you've put us- ME- through?! I thought you were dead, and then I ended up in the hospital, and then Trowa told me that you weren't really, and they dragged me into this hell hole, and then-" Heero placed a finger over my mouth. "You always did talk to much." He gave me an odd look. "What were you in the hospital for?" "I attempted at suicide. But-" Heero snorted, and that stopped me right in my tracks. I glared at him. He was smirking. "What's so funny?" I demanded. "Out of all of us, you were the one who chose to be suicidal." I had to admit, I saw the humor in it. Sure, I've tried to self-destruct my fair share of times before, but before Heero's supposed "death", out of all of us, I had been the least suicidal. Well... except for Quatre and maybe Wufei. Wufei hadn't tried to blow up Altron before, but then again, he was the one that kept telling people they could go ahead and kill him. And Quatre had spent most of his early life in depression because he thought he was a test tube child. "You're changing the subject." Heero shrugged. "I suppose I have reasons of my own to do so." I threw my hands up into the air, annoyed. "Fine! It's not like you were anyone special, you were just a guy! A guy who chose to lead me on with his BS and lies, so now you can leave me alone!" His only reaction was a raised brow and a single word. "Duo...?" I continued. "You've had your fun, now get out! I've been hurt too bad for you to be the right one!" I moved towards the door, to open it so he could leave, I think. Both my heart and my brain were screaming at me. I had been so anxious for him to come back, and now I was kicking him out of my room because he wouldn't answer a stupid question? What in the name of Shinigami was wrong with this picture? But it really did bother me that he wouldn't answer my question. I'm not sure why, but just the fact that he wouldn't answer a stupid question like the one I had just asked of him just really pissed me off. No reason at all, I guess. Just the fact that he wouldn't answer one simple request like where he had been all year. It didn't matter in any case; the second I passed by Heero he locked his arms around my waist and held me still. I struggled a little bit, mostly for show, because I really did like the feel of his arms around me. It felt natural to me, like I was meant to be in his arms... Then, when he threw me onto my bed, I knew that this had to be a dream. It just had to be. Heero showing up at my dorm, throwing me onto the bed, leaning over me... his lips covering my own... If this was a dream, it was a damn good dream. And I didn't want to wake up from it. It felt too good to be a dream. Heero lay next to me on my narrow bed, all the while gazing at my face, my eyes, my mouth... Then he reached out a hand and brushed aside my bangs, leaning over me again, then bending down. His lips were soft on mine, and that surprised me; I hadn't expected the calloused hands and the soft lips would go together in one neat, tiny package. I groaned. He backed away, surprised. "What?" The smile on my face reassured him a little, I think, because the startled look in his eyes faded. "Is this a dream?" Heero smirked, seemingly knowing exactly what I was thinking. "Of course not. Unless we are sharing the dream." "Mm." I was silent for a brief second. "I want to have you inside of me, Heero. It's been too long of a wait. Would you do that for me? Please?" It was his turn to pause. He appeared hesitant, then he looked at my eyes. "Are you sure that's what you want?" I rolled my eyes. "No, of course not. I'm just asking you to see how stupid we both can be. Duh, Heero." I sat up and pressed my lips against his, and then passed my tongue over his closed mouth. He recoiled in surprise, but he quickly realized what I was doing and responded in kind. It was awhile before we parted again, and, when we did, I rested my cheek against his so that my mouth was by his ear. He would be able to hear me easy from right there. "I want you, Heero," I whispered into his ear. "Don't run away again." He nodded, and I just couldn't help myself. I had to do something he wouldn't expect. So I stuck my tongue out and inserted it inside that warm shell of an ear. He tensed in his surprise, but every move I made seemed to satisfy- then feed- some strange monster within him. He pushed me back down into the pillows and blankets of the bed that had been mine for less than a year and closed his eager mouth over my own again. Well, after a few innocent kisses and nibbles, I was about ready to get into the hard stuff. I didn't really care if Heero was or not. I figured he wanted it just as much as I did; he was eager enough. So I slid my hands up his loose shirt and pulled it off of him, throwing it to the floor. He looked surprised, but pleased, none the less. Oh yeah, it was obvious. Heero was wanting this just as much as I was. It seemed to me that our clothes vanished like magic, though I really doubted that that was the case. But it didn't matter, anyway. I had stopped worrying about the stupid school, and about Relena and her stupid fiance, and even the fact that Trowa thought all my lights weren't on upstairs and that I was about fifty-two cards short of a deck. It felt really good not to have to worry about anything like that. All I remember thinking about right then was how good it would feel to finally honestly be with Heero. I didn't even flinch as he bent towards my lower regions and started to kiss the flesh on the underside of my knees, and my thighs, then up more... He skipped over the one part of me that really wanted him, though, and started to play around with my navel. His tongue was darting in and out of that tiny little space, symbolizing, to me, exactly what he planned to do with me. It was driving me crazy, but it was a nice feeling. "Heero..." He looked up at me as I murmured his name. "What is it, koibito?" I shivered when he called me that. His koi. His love. I grinned. "I think I'm going to blow up if you don't get on with this." Heero smiled at me, just a tiny smile, but it was there. "You aren't enjoying it?" If it hadn't for that tiny smile, and the humor and teasing that lay behind his eyes, I would have been afraid I had offended him. As it was, I just shut my eyes and let my huge grin quiet into a satisfied, coy, little smile. Heero buried his face in my chest, brushing the little golden cross I was still wearing out of his way, and I could feel the muscles in his face tighten to a smile. It was easy to tell that he was enjoying this just as much as I was. But he wasn't done with the teasings. He seemed to like feeling me writhe and squirm as he taunted every inch of me- except for that one little place that wanted him the most. Or he was testing my sanity levels. That thought made me wonder, for a brief second, if he had gone to talk to Trowa before he came over here to me. The thought vanished almost instantly as he focused his attentions on my hair, which he started unbraiding and combing through with his fingers. It felt real good, but I had been serious when I had said I was going to explode. Besides, it aggravated me that he was the one in charge of this situation. I wanted to be the one performing the teasings and watching him writhe. I wasn't going to stand for this any longer. My arms darted out and grabbed him so that they were circling him, my finger nails clawing little grooves into his back. That didn't seem to bother him, but when my hands clasped together and when I tightened my arms around him, that seemed to perturb him a little. And when I somehow, in what can only be described as a sudden feat of strength, a miracle, perhaps, flipped him onto his back so that I was no longer the one at mercy, he seemed to be a bit nervous, and a bit pleased. I had the feeling he had been waiting for me to do something like this. He knew very well how I hate to be the weak one. With my hair falling over him like a mahogany curtain, or perhaps an odd blanket, and him straining his muscles beneath me, it was obvious that I had the upper hand right now. Before he could do anything to transform us back into our previous position, I scooted down, disrupting the sheets and blankets that I had so carefully lain over the bed this morning, and caressed that little place on the under side of his bent knees with my tongue. His muscles tensed, and he made a little moan, fingers curling slightly, clawing at the bed. I grinned. I had found Heero's first weakness. I planned on finding all the others he had as well, by careful investigating. The poor boy, when I was through with him, he would never be the same. Of course, it was also an odd kind of revenge. He had, after all, found all sorts of ways to make me buck and moan; I was simply going to find just as many ways to do the same to him. And it would be a process we would both enjoy, no doubt. After a few minutes of prodding and searching, I had found enough information to keep me rather contented. For now, anyway. I was going to go a step further than Heero had dared to, and I was eager to see how the Perfect Soldier was going to take it. I gently blew cold air on the tip of his elevated member, and watched, to my satisfaction as Heero gasped low in his throat and shivered. I smiled, then gently fondled the tip with my tongue, tasting the beads of flavorful moisture that were collecting. Oh yeah. This was exactly how I had wanted him to react, me coaxing him slowly, him guiding me along. Life was going just fine. Just fine indeed. And, I thought, moving so that his entire cock was covered by my mouth, maybe I wasn't as loony as Trowa had thought I was. Were these the actions of a crazy man? I didn't think so- a person would have to be crazy to pass a moment like this up, not seize it. Heero came then, with my mouth enveloping his member. I swallowed as much of the love juice as I could, hoping that he was still stringing together some form of conscious thought. It had just occurred to me, not five seconds earlier, that we had left the door unlocked, and Lon could walk in to see me acting just as he had suspected earlier. The pederast with his catamite. And with his look alike, no less. It was important that Heero was thinking clearly, if only so that I could get up and lock the door. But the feeling of Heero's warm body under mine and his strong arms around my back were just so- Wait a second. Heero's arms around my back?! Heero repeated my move from earlier, flipping us so that I was the one at mercy, but he didn't require a miracle to move me. I was light as I ever had been, scrawny and under nourished, while Heero just seemed to gain more muscle poundage everyday. He smiled at me again, the tiny smile, at my wide eyed look. "You didn't think I'd let you take over for very long, did you?" he asked me quietly, his words barely audible, his breath whispering on my sweaty skin. I shook my head, almost timidly. If he wanted to be in charge that badly, he could be in charge. Didn't matter to me, as long as he was there. And I would take my position as leader again soon enough. We could have to take turns sharing the leadership thing here, if just to keep us both fully contented. "Lock the door," I charged him, trying to prop myself up on my elbows to see past him to the clock on the wall. "We left it unlocked, and it's almost dinner hour. Q and Trowa and Wu-man will be coming by to get me, and-" "And they can just deal with it," he told me, shaking his head. I almost gave in there, his Prussian hued eyes were watching me so nicely... "Lon- my room mate- and Relena-" It was the last word, I think, that got him. "I'll lock the door." He bent down, kissing my collar bone. "Stay right as you are." His fingers trailed down the length of my arms as he moved away, pausing slightly over my twin scars. I saw a look of utter grief pass over his eyes, but it faded as quickly as it came. Then he disappeared from my vision, over to the door. I shut my eyes, already exhausted, and waited. I could hear his footsteps as he treaded softly over the carpeted floor to the door. And I waited. Cold air brushed over my skin as I heard the latch shut and the bolt drawn. I shivered, and waited for Heero to come back over to me so we could finish our glorious fun. I didn't hear him walk back towards me, but I felt his cool fingers on my scars and shivered. He was stroking them gently with his thumbs, his nails passing over them ever so lightly, and I so very much wanted to look up into his eyes, but I couldn't find the strength to lift my lids. It seemed as though my little miracles earlier had taken their toll on me already. And I had been having what seemed to be the longest day of my life, to boot. Not that I had minded the last few moments of it, surely. And finding the cat was a stroke of good luck, too. The cat... Something in my mind told me I should be concerned about something to do with the cat, but Heero was providing ample distraction. I couldn't think straight; my scars had been sore before, and now, with Heero's soft touches, I was almost sure that they were going to start bleeding again. They would never finish scaring if they kept opening up! Heero kissed my collar bone again, ever so softly, and I continued my struggle to open my eyes, so that I could see him. He chuckled, and then he moved his hands so that he wasn't touching me anymore. I think I whimpered, but I'm not quite sure. That could have just been an overactive, clingy, desperate imagination at work. "I never meant to hurt you," Heero whispered into my ear. His breath made tiny whispers on my skin, but, other than that, I had no way of knowing that he was still there. It scared me a little, but I couldn't snap myself out of this dream like trance I was in. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak... I couldn't even twitch my damn toes! It scared me a hell of a lot. I'm not sure how long I just lay there, unable to do anything but that, but I know for sure that Heero didn't draw the latch and leave, and he didn't open the balcony doors or anything. I was straining my hearing, but I couldn't even hear footsteps, or any breathing but my own and a light pitter-patter breathing that was most likely not Heero. The cat's, maybe. The next sound, besides that of the breathing, that I heard clearly, was the sound of someone banging on my door, and a worried voice accompanying it. It reminded me a lot of the sounds Quatre and the others had made, trying to knock down my locked door earlier that year, after the funeral for a man who wasn't dead. I spent a few moments pondering about the likeliness of deja vü, until I heard someone command another person to get an administrator, or a teacher. Someone with a key. It was then that I discovered I could move again. The first thing I did was look around. Heero was nowhere in sight, and I was still fully dressed, in the navy monstrosity, no less. The bulge of my arousal, however, hinted at exactly what my encounter with Heero may have been. Except that the sheets on the bed were messed up, and the book was on the floor, and the latch on my door was bolted. And my hair was unbraided. A bit messy and tangled, but unbraided nonetheless. And, despite popular belief, I was NOT crazy enough to keep my hair unbraided for any period of time longer to take a shower or something. It tangled like the dickens, and it hurt to get out the tangles. I had wised up about that a long time ago, even before I had left L2 as a stowaway, and I always kept it braided. Had it all been a cruel dream, with a few tricks thrown in to confuse the hell out of me? Had Lon bolted the door when he left? Had I thrashed around so much while I slept- something I hardly ever do, to my knowledge- that the book fell to the floor and the bed got messed up? Had my hair just magically come loose, although the little black tie I restrained it in was nowhere to be found? God dammit, this was definitely not funny. And if that was the case, how messed up was I? I covered my face with my hands. I had just had a really- REALLY- nice dream with a dead man? A virtual zombie? It seemed the only logical explanation; I couldn't have gotten dressed without knowing it, or anything like that. And there were no tell-tale stains on the bed, either. So it must have been just a perverse, whacked out dream from a perverse, whacked out seventeen year-old boy's mind. The pounding started up again. And now I could determine the words that the yells were sounding out. It was Quatre, I was sure of that. "Duo!!!" I sighed, trying, unsuccessfully, to calm down every screaming, disappointed nerve in my body. I had wanted it so much to be real. I got up to open the door, and Quatre literally fell into the opening, Trowa and Wufei close on his heels. They looked hilarious, just all piled up on the floor. It made me giggle. Wufei looked up at me with a growl, getting to his knees and brushing off his pants- he had redressed in his regular clothes. They all had, but for me. "Was that some kind of a joke, Maxwell? Making us wait out in the hallway, rather concerned, while you sat in here and laughed?" I shook my head. "No, not a joke at all, Wu-man. It's not funny at all." I paused. "I guess I fell asleep. Sorry, you know how heavy a sleeper I am. Lon was being an ass, and-" A voice from the hallway made me stop. "Was I?" I looked up and rolled my eyes. That guy just had the worst timing in the world. I was silent as Lon came in the room, picking up his lap top, and left. We glared at each other the entire time, neither of us willing to admit that the other was stronger. The other three, two of which were still on the floor, looking rather pleased with themselves, watched the scene between Lon and I as it unfolded, then examined me carefully as he left. I can honestly say that I think Wufei was a bit scared of me right then. Quatre was the first to speak. "I take it you two don't get along very well." "You think?" Trowa got up, then helped Quatre. "Perhaps." He gave me a quick once over. "I never knew your hair was that long." It was pretty long when it was loose, I knew. I can sit on my braid, and my hair's even longer when it's not in the confinement. It was a huge tangle of chestnut rat's nest that went to almost a half foot above my knees. "Surprise." I was droning now, but talking about a big tangle of hair that was going to plop me in a bucket full of pain not too long from now wasn't going to whip me into a verbal frenzy. "What happened to your arms?" I looked down, not sure what he was talking about. It took me a moment to realize exactly what it was, in any case. The navy arms of my jacket were stained with a crimson liquid that looked suspiciously like blood. I stripped off my jacket and stared at the red stains on the sleeves of my white dress shirt. I stripped it off quickly, and my cross glinted in the light of the lamp. The twin scars along my arms were cut open again, just enough to make it bleed a lot. "Holy fucking shit..." These weren't any ordinary cuts. These looked like someone had dragged a fingernail up and down my scars until they bled. My cat made a tiny sound from her place on the bed as I dropped to the ground, sobbing.

**********

Well, I kind of re-earned my reputation. Finally. Well, how'd you guys like that part of the story? Duo torture galore. As I said a long while ago, around part two or so, you always hurt the ones you love. But what on earth could be going on with Duo? This just isn't some innocent little dream he's having, he's going into an all out affair! But don't worry- this torture has a purpose. And, Duo fans, PLEASE, no death threats for this, okay? I'll make it up to you, I swear! Anyway, I hope I haven't scared you all away! Stay tuned for part nine- we're getting close to the end here! Send me comments and questions at [email protected]. Ja ne!
~*Hawk*~