wholespike

Title:         Lost and Found
Author:          Raihne
Pairing:          Um. . . guess?
Disclaimer:     Don't know, Don't own, Don't sue. ^_^
Summary:      Xander's long estranged lover comes back after five years of abscence. But when he
                     does, it's as Buffy's enemy. Now Xander may have to choose, but . . .
Archive:        Yeah, just tell me where you're putting it and tell me ne?

C&C please. Actually, just C is fine, you can leave out the C. um. . . yeah.

<Prologue>

Xander sighed and rolled over in the arms of his lover so they were chest to chest. "Why do you have to leave? What'll I do without you?"

The paler man kissed him softly, "I'm leavin' 'nough money for you to move out o' yer parent's house. I don' like you bein' stuck there. 'specially when I 'ave to leave."

"So why do you have to leave? Just stay here."

"I can't. Ah luv, I 'ave to go, she's my sire."

"I hate her."

"Please don't my heart. She's like me mum."

"You don't sleep with your mother." Xander pouted and pulled away to get dressed. The other man jumped up completely nude and trailed after him.

"Xan! Don' do this."

"I know you're a vampire and I know you have to obey your sire, but she doesn't love you like I do. You know that! And she still takes you away from me."

"It's just a little while."

"Any 'while' is too long." Xander forced down his tears and bit his lip helplessly, "Will you sleep with her?"

"Xan. . ." The vampire reached for his lover.

The human slapped the arms away from him. "No! Don't. I don't want to be sloppy seconds. I might be just human, but I have more pride than that."

"I. . ."

"Get out of here! Go fuck your sire! Go with her to Hell for all I care!"

"Xan." There were helpless tears in the childe's voice and eyes.

Xander's own voice wavered as he opened the window of his room and pointed out it. "Get out."

He climbed out and looked back in once more, "I wouldn' go if I could 'elp it."

Alexander turned his back on the freely sobbing boy and the pale childe mewed in emotional agony at the action.

He reached back into the room then pulled away, unwilling to prolong the hurt for either of them. "Love you Xan. Goodbye."

The moment the window was shut Xander collapsed into harsh sobs. His lover had choosen then. And he was gone. It hurt so much! He felt like half of him had been emptied at the vampire's abscence.

"Xander?"

He didn't react to Jesse's soft knock.

"Xander? Are you ok?" This time it was Willow.

He couldn't answer, he was crying too hard.

The door opened with a squeak and then four arms were wrapped around him and two voices fussed over him.

"Xander what happened? Why are you crying?"

"Are you hurt? Did your dad. . ."

Xander sobbed, "He's gone."

"Your dad?"

"No."

"oh. . . Oh! Xander! I'm so sorry!"

"He chose her. He . . . I should have been ready. . . I . . . I knew he would. . ."

"Doesn't stop it from hurting though."

"What will?"

"Time?"

He kept crying and his friends could only hold him as his heart shattered.

Why couldn't it stop HURTING!

~End Prologue~

<Part 1>

Buffy walked into the library to see Willow watching Xander carefully. The usually hyper boy was sitting alone and quiet, looking at a ragged sketchbook. "What did I miss?" She asked Giles and the librarian shook his head.

"He's been like that all day."

Willow nibbled her lip thoughtfully, "It's an. . . anniversary of. . . something."

"Oh 'that' helps." The slayer rolled her eyes.

"It's just. . . It's his thing to tell. If he wants."

"'He' is right here thank you."

Willow blushed and Buffy frowned, "So what's wrong with you?"

"It's a hard day s'all."

"Oh yeah? It must be contagious or something because I just got battered and bloody with ANOTHER master."

"Oh dear lord." Giles began to wipe his glasses in his custumary nervous gesture. "How . . . um. . . he lived?"

She snorted, "Oh yeah he lived. 'I' almost didn't! If he hadn't been distracted. . ."

"Did he say his name?" Willow asked softly, still watching Xander.

She snorted, "He called himself the Big Bad."

A loud crash caused attention to shift to Xander, who'd dropped the book he was holding and broken one of the many herb jars scattered around the place. He was staring at her like she'd told him his dead cat just got violated.

"Xander?"

Willow was white as a sheet.

"Willow?"

Giles picked the sketch book up slowly and opened it to the first page. Then the second, the third, all were of the same man in different poses and states of dress. "Ah. . . who. . .?"

"That's him!" Buffy exclaimed and turned wide eyes to her friend.

"William." Xander choaked before he fell into a dead feint.

"Xander!"
__________________

Buffy got to her fallen Slayerette's side just as Willow did and she watched the young witch fuss over him. "Ok, what is going on?! How did Xander get those sketches?"

"He drew them."

Giles muttered appreciatively but Buffy just snorted, "So he's taken up Vampire watching?"

The red head stroked Xander's hair worriedly, "That's Willam De Vicino. Xander's. . . um. . . friend."

"What do you mean, friend?"

She blushed and licked her lips again, "Well, uh. . . boyfriend?"

"WHAT?!" This from watcher and Slayer.

Xander stirred and Willow turned her attention back to him. "Wil?"

"No Xan, it's Will."

Buffy arched a brow, "He just said that."

"No, he said Wil, with one L. William. He hated being called Will with two Ls."

The slayer held back from commenting on that. "So Xander is gay? What about all of those girls he's dated, I mean yeah they try to kill him eventually but still-! They have. . . feminine parts."

"Well bug lady was doing the phermone thing." Willow defended him, "And mummy girl had magic going for her, besides, Xander . . ."

"Didn't want to hurt their feelings." Xander blinked again, trying to get his barings, "Not like I would ever want . . . not without him."

"He was an old vampire. He wasn't human five years ago."

"I know."

"Xander! You can't be serious! You slept with a Vampire?! A male vampire? When you were. . ."

"13." He whispered.

"That's disgusting!"

"Hey I LOVED him ok?!" He snatched his book back from Giles who gave him a distinct, 'why are you mad at me, I didn't say it!' look. "He. . . he left because his sire needed him. He choose her over me. I. . . Was there a brunet woman carrying a china doll with him?"

"No."

He turned hopefull eyes to Willow, "Did he. . . you think he came back for me?"

"Xander. . ."

Buffy interupted, "He came to kill his third slayer." She growled, "He said so."

"Wil."

Willow saw how close her friend was to losing it, "Come on Xander, I need to go home, could you walk me?"

"Yeah. Sure."

Buffy and Giles watched him leave, worried. "Giles, do you think he'd choose this William guy over us?"

"I would like to say he would not. . . but I don't know."

She nodded and followed Xander with her eyes until he was out of site, "We're gonna need Angel."

<Part 2>

Spike prowled around the old Harris house quietly. His human's room was empty. He was gone. But his smell was still all over the place. The master vampire followed it into the basement and he growled. It was set up like an apartment. And the whole room smelled like Xander. //He stayed. I gave him the money to leave! Why did he stay?!//

"Buffy might have been wrong."

//Shit. Someone's coming.// He blended easily into the shadows and watched as the pair rounded the corner. Golden eyes then recieved the first glimpse of his lover that he'd had in almost five years. The boy had grown taller and gained at least a stone in muscle. His hair was hacked off like it had been the first time Spike'd seen him and the eyes held so much more pain, but it was his boy. He knew his human's heart beat as sure as his own fangs. //Xan.//

"She recognised his face from the pictures."

"Maybe there's another vampire out there that looks a lot like him? I mean they say everyone has a twin somewhere. . ."

"She said he called himself the Big Bad. It isn't like there's a lot of bleached blond vampires that go the the title 'The Big Bad' in the world."

"She could be wrong about what he came for then, I mean of course he wouldn't tell the slayer his real reason for being in town."

Xander lowered his eyes and shook his head, "Then why didn't he come to see me? Why go right after Buffy?"

"Because she ran inta me an' I couldn' jus' walk away." The vampire stepped into the pale light of the waxing moon and stood, unsure of how the two would react.

"Wil." Xander gasped and Willow had to snatch the notebook before it fell again.

"Xan." He fought the urge to shuffle his feet in a very un-vampire-master-like way and tried to look anywhere but those wounded eyes.

"Wh. . . where's Drusilla?"

"Got dusted in Prague she did. loopy bint. I'm me own vamp now."

"Oh."

"s'at all you 'ave ta say? Oh?"

He fought down anger and panic, "What should I say Spike? That I'm glad she's gone because you left me for her? That I'm not sure why you came back now that she's dead after you haven't even let me know you were alive for fucking years? Do you really want to hear that?"

"You never called me Spike."

"You never acted like Spike around me."

"And I still haven't Xan. This is me. 'm not a master vamp, jus' Wil."

"And now that Dru's gone you want to take me back again."

"Pet it isn' like that."

Willow watched them stare at each other, she could feel each man's need to run toward the other's arms and melt together.

Spike finally took a step forward and Xander snatched his sketchpad and held it up like a shield. "Don't!"

"Xan. . ."

"You LEFT!"

"I didn't have a choice! Did you think I wanted to follow that cracked bitch around the fucking world looking for her dead ol' daddy?!" He stopped and gapped at Xander's stricken and tear covered face, "You did think that didn't you. Luv. . ."

"You didn't even fight her about it."

"Did so pet. Fought for the whole year we had together. She knew what was going on with you an' me. Dru never liked to share. She threatened to claim sire's right on me if I didn't leave with her."

"Sire's right." Willow whispered, "isn't that. . .?"

"Yeah, she was gonna turn Xan and keep him herself if I didn't follow her out of Sunnyhell."

The arms holding up the sketchpad slackened a little, "You left to protect me?"

"Promised I would didn't I?"

"But way didn't you TELL me?!"

Blue eyes wavered, "Because I know you, and you would have fought till she killed you. I couldn't let that happen. I actually love you ya pillock so get used to it."

Xander sobbed and threw himself into Spike's embrace."I missed you you bastard!" The human sobbed and clung to his lover.

"Xan. You were never far from me thoughts luv. Swear it."

The red headed witch cleared her throat and looked at the two men carefully. "Xander, you're forgetting two things."

They both looked up and Xander blanched. "Buffy. and Angel! Shit!"

"Buffy? As in the vamp slayer?"

"As in one of our best friends." Willow whispered.

"Best freinds?! What about the three musketeers thing you whelps had goin'?"

The witch blinked away tears and watched Xander shivered with them in Spike's arms. "He. . . Darla got him."

A litany of angry and half understandable cockney followed, "Knew I hated that bitch for a reason! So the slayer makes three now eh? I c'n 'old off killin' the bint then."

That was when Xander caught a glimpse of Spike's chest through the open shirt. "What did this?!"

Willow gasped and covered her mouth to hold back a sob. Spike's whole front was a mass of angry, veiny looking scars.

"Got them trying to help Dru. It was holy water, lots of it."

The red headed witch touched the scars carefully and shook her head. "They're all over you?"

"Yeah." He sighed.

Xander took a closer look, "Spike, I thought vampire's died from holy water."

The blue eyes got sad and Spike nodded, "We do. I am. 'M dyin' pet. It's inside me blood."

"No." Xander's heart almost stopped, "There has to be a way to stop it!"

"Blood of my sire could, but he's been gone a long time. Wouldn't know where ta look."

Xander stared at Spike, "Buffy and Angel. . . as in Angelous."

"Angelous." Spike's mouth fell open in hopeful shock.

Willow nodded, "Yeah, Angelous + soul = Angel."

"Shit."

Spike's brief hope died, "The poof'll never want ta keep me alive if he's doin' the good guy bit. Not after the stuff 'e's seen me do."

"Never could keep it simple could we." He joked weakly.

"What fun would that be luv? We'll be ok."

"I'll make him help you. I'm not loosing you again."

Spike didn't bother to say how impossible this would be. Xander already knew.

"You won't eat any good guys right? Just the baddies? Like last time?"

"Just like I never went away." He promised.

"Buffy wont get it."

"Angelous won't even try to."

He held his lost lover tighter than ever, "I don't want to have to chose."

"I'd never force you to chose. You know that."

Willow cut in helpfully, "You could keep it a secret. Spike could get, you know, zapped into looking like someone else to other people. We could just tell them that You need the blood of a master vampire to heal, they wouldn't need the. . . the details right?"

Xander looked between the two of them, "Will that work?"

"One way to find out luv. Well Red? What do you need to do it?"
_____________________

Angel tarried at Giles for the nightly patrol and was met by an agittated Buffy babbling a mile a minuet about Xander and Big Blonds.

"Angel are you listening?!"

He blinked, "Trying."

"Xander's old boyfriend is back in town!"

"Xander is gay?"

"He's insane! His boyfriend is a bleached blond phyco vamp!"

Angel went perfectly still, "A vampire named William?"

"He said Wil."

"William the Bloody?"

"He just said Wil! What does it matter Xan's got a thing for a vamp! One without a soul! We gotta do. . . Giles? Are you ok? You look like you're wigging?"

Giles eyes had gone wider then should have been humanly possible and he was furiously polishing his glasses, "Oh dear God. Xander's Wil is The scourge of Europe?"

Buffy turned to her boyfriend, "I thought you were the scourge of europe."

Angel glanced nervously out the window, "I had a little . . . help."

"And I take it we're in deep slime."

"To our waists and sinking fast."

"Damn."

<Part 3>

       Spike cuddled with his young lover upon the broken hide-a-bed. He was awe struck even now by the fact that such an innocent human loved him. And even more amazed that he loved his Xander. Loved him enough to stop killing anyone but the 'bad guys' as his boy put it. Spike was not naive enough to think in terms of good and bad, but it was endearing that his human still did. "So lovely." He petted his boy's hair, smoothing his pale hands through dark lochs.

    Xander made a snorting noise that was muffled by spike's duster, which he was currently burrowing into. "M'not lovely."

    The vampire's smile covered his whole face. "Are to pet."

    "Mnn. . ."

    "Sleepy luv?"

    "Well my undead boyfreind just denied all laws of anatomy, physics, and logic."

    "That good eh?" Spike knew he was fishing, he didn't care. Anything to keep those chocolate whiskey eyes open just a little longer.

    "Normal human males don't come five times in one night if it wasn't 'good'."

    The blond man beamed, "Well you 'ad a part in it ay pet? Got a bit kinky with m' duster."

    "look so hot. . ."

    "'ave ta wear it when I fuck you more often don' I?"

    "Mmm."

    Finally Spike gave up and slipped the duster off, tucking it around his naked beloved. "A'right luv, you go ta sleep. I'll jus' pop over ta see red an' get that glamour kay?"

    Xander's head shot up, eyes wide open, "You can't go outside! Buffy's outside!"

    "Handled slayers before pet."

    "But you wont kill Buffy because she's my freind! You won't fight your hardest! I don't want you dust!"

    Spike sighed and cradled the frantic human. "Promise ta be careful luv."

    "Wil. . ."

    "Trust me?"

    "Yes."

    "I'll be back." He swore and kissed his lover, tucking him back in. "Got ta fix up a surprise for ya too. Can't have you seein' it fore it's ready."

    Xander blushed, Spike knew him too well. He knew right away that the dark haired boy was planning to follow once he left.

    "Promise you'll stay?"

    "I promise." He slumped down and frowned.

    "Now don' be like that luv. Ya said you trust me."

    "I love you."

    Spike smiled and kissed him, "Love me too."

    "Hey!"

    "Oh, an you too Xan."

    The pout was exagerrated this time and made Spike smile. Xander finally relented. "Just come back."

    "Will always come back luv." Spike swore. "Always." He turned to leave only to be stopped by Xander once again. "Luv?"

    "If. . . if it's you or her. . ." Xander had a hopeless and desperate expression on his face.

    "'m just. . ."

    "It's you."

    "Xan?"

    "It will always be you."

    Spike hid his pleased smile and just hugged his human, "Done with the drama now?"

    "Yeah. I think so."

    The vampire smiled and kissed the tip of his nose. "Ta then." And walked out the door silently as ever.

    "Ta." Xander mimicked to the closed panel and snuggled back down without taking his eyes off the door.
_____________________

    Spike had only been walking a couple minuets before he smelled something familiar in the air. He had just enough time to swear mentally before he was rushed by two dark shapes and slammed into a tree. Remembering his promise to his boy, instead of standing and fighting, he slipped up into the branches and glimpsed down like a treed cat. "Slayer. Sire."

    Angel was in gameface, glaring up at Spike, "Get down here!"

    "Still afraid of trees peaches? High and full of stakes, perfect place ta fall ta yer last death. What wit' yer wide arse an' all, ya neve' could keep yer balance."

    The slayer made a move to climb but angel stopped her. "Buffy. Wait."

    "But he. . ."

    "He isn't fighting us." The demon visage vanished. "What are you up too Spike?"

    "Thought I'd step out fer a bite ta eat. Boy didn't want me ta go, made me promise not ta fight the slayer."

    "You made a promise like that?" Angel sounded skeptical.

    "People change, Sire." Spike reminded the older vampire ironically. "You should know that better than any of us. Last time I saw you, you were stipping the skin off my back and feeding on anything that got close enough no matter what age, sex or condition."

    "I got a soul!"

    "So did I."

    Buffy pulled out a stake and looked into his demon eyes, "You're lying."

    Angel nodded, "I don't smell anything but your demon, William."

    "Left 'im at 'ome didn' I? Boy was wiped out. Been a long time after all."

    Buffy and Angel looked confused.

    The blond rolled his eyes in disgust, "Are you both that mindless? Think about it and get back ta me, I 'ave place ta go people ta drain."

    Buffy approached the tree and Spike was gone in an instant. Vampiric speed taking him from harm's way.

   The dark haired vampire watched the direction his childe had gone. His face was thoughtful.

    "He said. . . so then he just came from. . . eeewww!" The slayer pocketed her stake and shivered. "I so did not need to know that. Angel, we should go get Xander. We need to keep him safe in case Spike comes back for him." She started walking but noticed the souled vampire didn't follow. "Angel?"

    "Something wasn't right." He mused quietly. "The Spike I knew would have stayed to gloat over the fact that he wasn't souled, and the fact that he won over one of your freinds."

    "Do you think there's some kind of spell between Spike and Xander? Is there a way to link a vampire's demon to a human's soul?"

    "I don't know. I've never heard of it, but that doesn't mean it can't be possible. Come on. I think we need to talk to Giles."
_____________________

    Spike tapped lightly on Willow's window. "Red! Hey red!"

    The young witch pulled the curtains back and covered a yawn with her hand. "Spike? What are you doing?"

    "Picking up the spell bits, come on, open the window."

    Willow nodded and opened the glass. Spike just stared at her. "Well?"

    "Got ta invite me in luv."

    "Oh! uh, come in, Spike."

    "Ta very much." He grinned and slipped into the very feminine room. "Hate what you've done with the place."

    "Well then it's a good thing you don't live here isn't it." She giggled, uninsulted, and handed Spike a vial. "Okay, all you have to do is drink it and then imagine what you want to look like. Make sure that the form is the one you want, and then put this earing in your ear."

    "What's that for then?" He took up the tiny hoop.

    "It will change your voice and scent , and it stops Buffy's slayer senses from going off. It's the key to this whole glamour, once you put this on, the form and everything is set, then all you have to do to take off the glamour. . ."

    "Is ta take off the piece. Nice work luv, natural at this witch stuff aren't ya?" He turned to hoop over in his hands, "So this a one time thing then?"

    She shook her head, "Nope. It'll last as long as you have the earing in take it out to be yourself, put it back in to be the glamour."

    "Red I could kiss you."

    "Why don't you go home and kiss Xander instead?" She smirked back at him.

    "Not a bad idea if I say so me'self, got one more stop ta make though." He placed the hoop and vial carefully in his pocket and slipped back out the window, vanishing into the shadows.

    Willow watched him go and then looked up at the stars, "Goddess give them strength." She started to close the window and then stopped and looked up again, "And a little luck might help too."

<Part 4>

    Just before sunrise, Spike slammed into the basement room and shut the quickly. He was instantly taken into his boy's arms. "Where were you?! Don't you EVER tell me to wait here again! I thought. . . I . . ." He sobbed and hugged his lover tighter and Spike could do nothing but hold him.

    "Jus' took a bit longer th'n I thought luv. S'okay. 'm here now."

    "Spike."

    The blond wiped Xander's tears away and smiled at him, "Oi, I got a plan. You go off ta school fer now 'kay, I'll pick ya up in me new disguise. The old tunnels still handy?"

    "It's Sunnydale Spike, of course they are."

    "Right then." He smirked and herded Xander toward his dresser. "Shower, kit, school."

    "Are you trying to get rid of me Spike?"

    The vampire scowled, "Are you tryin' ta ruin yer suprise? Get ya git!"

    "I'm getting I'm getting." Xander laughed and Spike smiled. He'd missed that laughter so much.
_____________________

    When he got to school, Buffy was waiting at the doors for him. "Xander, we have to talk."

    "What's up Buff?"

    "I'm worried about you. Angel and I saw Spike last night and. . ."

    "You. . . Buffy you didn't hurt him did you? I mean he was okay when he. . . but they heal so fast. . ."

    "You see?! That's what I'm talking about. I'm a SLAYER. I slay vampires. I hurt them dead, it's what I'm here for."

    "But Angel. . ."

    "Angel has a soul!"

    "So do a lot of people, it doesn't mean they're all good."

    "But people don't have demons."

    "Doesn't slow them down."

    "Xander, don't go all vamps are people too on me okay? Just listen. He's dangerous. I know you knew him before but he's just playing with you. When you live as long as a vampire expects to, games last longer."

    "Buffy, not to be mean or anything, but go to Hell." He glarred at her and walked by.

    She followed him into their first class, unwilling to let their discussion end like that. "Xander! Wait! Xander I. . ."

    "Miss Summers if you would be so kind as to please take your seat so that class may begin."

    She blushed and pouted at Xander. //Let him have this one. School goes on a long time and there will be lots of chances to talk to him later.//

    Xander gave a silent sigh of releif and, for the first time in his life, found himself thankfull that class had begun. He decided that, to celebrate the wonder that was this conveniently timed class session, he would actually listen this time! That lasted about ten minuets, then he began day dreaming about whatever a certain blond haired, blue eyed, someone could be up to at that moment.
_______________

    At the moment the same blond haired, blue eyed, someone was lounging on the fold out couch, the telephone resting in his pale hand and a content smile on his face. That was the last call and now when Xan got out of his classes. . . Spike knew he would love the pressie he'd planed for them both, and it was the perfect cover for his new 'secret identity'. Boy would get a kick outta that, him and his obsession with super heros.

    After all of their time together Spike still loved that goofy smile he earned every time he pleased the boy, and the blank and uneasy look when he pulled some extravigent stunt to try to please. Xander'd had only two or three freinds in his entire life and so was unused to people being kind to him or spoiling him. He was usually the one spoiling others. Because of this, the vampire's greatest joy was to spoil the innocent human rotten. It was a game he played with himself, to see how long it would take for Xander to accept that he would be loved and cherished forever, and that this meant grande gestures and embarrisingly soppy moments.

    //'s amazing// Spike smiled with the irony of it all, //That when I found my boy, I was trying to stop myself from being like William was, all romantic an' nonscense, and then the boy I found ended up bringing it out in me more than anyone else. Wasn't lying ta peaches when I said I had a soul. A wonderful brown eyed soul.//

He let his eyes slip shut as he waited for Xander to finish up at school, and dreamed of the day he'd found his human.
______________

    Spike stalked the streets above the Hellmouth looking for something, anything to occupy him. Dru had taken off again waxing poetic about the stars and blood and dancing and such, leaving him alone to amuse himself. William had never been good at amusing himself. When he'd been human he'd written but since the disaster that was his forced, and first, public reading. . . well Cecily hadn't been wrong to say that prat was beneath her. William was gone though, and Spike would not be amused with a paper and a pen. He wanted flesh, he wanted blood, he wanted. . . The vampire grinned as a boy with shaggy brown hair rounded a corner with two other children. The girl had a kind of mousy potential in her, and the other boy was tall and gangly, but the one in the middle. . .

    He stalked closer as the two boys bade their girl goodnight and walked a little way further until parting to go in opposite directions. He listened to the thick laughter coming from a mouth almost too wide for it's face and after the human was alone, he watched the broad smile falter and fail.

    His first reaction had been to take the boy as his own. A new pet perhaps, or a minion. . . if he proved amusing maybe he would become Spike's first childe. He was lovely enough, and held himself with a bonelessness that would later develope into grace, with the right activities. //Think I'd like a closer looksie I would.//

    "Out fer a stroll then?" He asked from the shadows, the boy kept walking! Bloody cheek! Spike slipped up behind the human and spoke again, "I asked you a question peaches."

    This got the boy's attention. He stop and turned, not jumping as Spike had expected, "Are you talking to me?" His eyes were clear but confused, as if no one had ever just said hello to him before.

    "D' ya see any other git walkin' around here?"

    "Well, you. But I guess you wouldn't be talking to yourself would you? Unless you're insane and you don't know you're talking to yourself. But you're not talking to yourself so I guess your not insane then, uh. . . Hi. I'm Xander."

    Spike blinked, trying to sort through the wave of babble that had been flung at him.

    "Uh. . . yeah," The whiskey eyes slid to the ground and the boy, Xander turned again and began walking.

    Spike shook of his stuppor and followed again, "Wasn't bein' rude pet, jus' took a while ta sort through what you were sayin'."

    "Oh. Sorry."

    The vampire was puzzled, a dark stranger in a leather trenchcoat, on a dark and deserted road, shouldn't the kid be showing a little more fear? "Name's Spike."

    "Where's your leash? Oh God I said that out loud didn't I! I am so sorry it just. . ."

    Spike grinned. Xander was blushing prettily and looking mortified, what a treat! He shrugged and offered, "Ey, no worries. Don't mind a little slave play now an' again. Do you want me in a leash and collar?" He leered and could see the boy getting hard beneath baggy pants.

    "uh. . . I really should be going now before I really embarrass myself."

    Spike's grin got feral and eh slid into game face, "What's yer hurry pet?"

    "Wow! That's so cool!"

    The vampire blinked, once again caught off guard by the boy. "Wha. . .?"

    "Are you an alien? Or a mutant? Oh wow! You're a demon aren't you?! Like in my comics!"

    Spike swore and snarled, "Damn desensitized youth these days, won't even be able to work up a decent fear soon."

    That must have struck the kid as funny because Xander was laughing so hard he had tears running down his face.

    "Oi! Was being serious!"

    "I know!" He howled with mirth, "That makes it even better! A demon grumping about social issues. You're great! What's your real name?"

    Spike had neve been called great before. No in a possitive way at least. He studied the smiling human and before he could catch himself he'd spoken, "William. Wil if ya like."

    "That's cool. So, demon huh?"

    "Vampire, an' I'm not feelin' the fear here."

    "You want scarey, come home late at. . . oh shit!"

    //There's the fear.//

    "I'm late! Oh shit!"

    "Xander?"

    "My dad's gonna kill me!"

    Spike snorted, American's used that ohrase so freely. As if the boy was in any real danger.

    "I've got to go. Uh. . ."

    "How bought I walk ya home then? Other beastes out there might not be amused enough to keep y aaround, an ya smell right tastey with all the fear flowing off of you."

    "You can smell that?"

    "Vampire."

    "Oh. Right. Uh. . . just, don't eat my parents okay?"

    "Promise I won't hurt yer parents."

    Xander smiled and they walked to his front door talking about pretty much anything that came to mind. It was all very human and being so, very uncommon, new. He found himself planning to meet this human the following night too.

    When they got to the door of an uninteresting house the kid smiled a bit of a forced smile, "Well thanks for walking me home. I. . ."

    The door slammed open and an angry hulk of a man grbbed the slight boy and slammed his face into the side of the house. "Where have you been?!!"

    Spike stepped forward, demonic face snearing until he saw Xander's face, watching him pleadingly, begging him to remember his promise. The vampire growled in anger but turned away. He always kept his word.
_________________

    Spike woke up and looked at the clock.almost time to go after Xander. He slid to his feet and stepped into the bathroom for a quick shower. It was ritualistic and calming, to let the water wash away the bad memories and feelings along with the grime of dayly life. The dream had been sweet up until the end. He stepped out and slipped into his Black jeans and T-shirt. //Never regreted a promise as much as I do that one.// He thought, staring into the mirror. He downed the vial of liquid that Willow had given him, and stared into the mirror as a reflection became visible.

    //S'that's what I look like. Hm. . . No wonder Xan wants me, I'm fucking gorgeous I am!// He snickered and then consentrated. He sharp cheek bones became simply high, not so pronounced, His skin darkened a little bit, giving the apperance of a living human being without losing the paleness. With a wicked grin he spiked his hair up and turned it black with red tips, then let his lips and face become a bit more androgenous, lengthinging and slimming his nose and turning his eyes black and sloe. "A gothic vampire. Anne Rice eat yer fuckin' 'eart out." He snickered and took in his appearance then thought about Angelous. . . With a quick tug he removed his shirt and changed the pattern of all the visible viens on his body, lengthened his nails a bit and gave his ears a slight point at the tip, reshapping the delicate shells. His sire would be one to notice any little similarities. The scar was erased, and the brows slimmed and shaped and finally he slimmed his muscle tone to a human, I'm thin 'cause I don't eat, look and let his fingers lengthen a bit, and become more delicate. Finally done he slipped the earring in and then applied eyeliner, mascara, and black lipstick that he'd pocketed on his way out the night before.

    Leaving the bathroom he sighed at his docs and duster, knowing they were too obvious. He slipped into a black sleeveless shirt and skin tight leather pants, then he slipped a pair of black, pointed toe shoes on his feet, they were disturbingly similar to what he'd worn as a human. Looking in the mirror he almost flinched, he looked so. . . human. Finally he couldn't stall anymore, he slipped a leather collar around his neck, attatched a silver leash to it, and slipped out through the shadows to the nearest sewer entrance. Xander was waiting for him.

    He looked down at himself and scowled, "The things I do for love."

~tbc~

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