Title:          Memories Left Behind Us
Author:       Raihne
Fandom:     Legacy of Kain/Soul Reaver
Pairing:       Kain/Raziel
Spoilers:     All of the games including Defiance
Disclaimer:  I don't own them, I'm only picking up the puppet's strings for a while
Summary:   Set after Defiance, Kain remembers Raziel., and misses him horribly.

 The world was a cold place. It had been for a very long while. The vampire lord, Kain, sat upon his throne high within one of the many towers of the newly rebuilt vampire citadel. He seemed unaffected by the darkness and the chill in the air, but the truth was quite the opposite. Kain felt the bitter winds with an accute pain. Made so by the fact that once he'd had someone beside him to chase it away. His beloved general. His Raziel.

 The new vampire guardians all stood at attention when Kain stood abruptly. He turned burnt yellow eyes from them and growled, "Leave me."

 "My lord?"

 "I said go."

 As they scattered like so many insects at his harsh tone, Kain sat and scowled. All that this served to do was remined him further of what he'd lost. Raziel had never run from his moods. The young priest turned vampire had stood toe to toe and argued until he'd been listened to. Until Kain's moods had shifted from anger or annoyance to pride in his greatest creation. Even as a new formed childe the man had been more than a match for his maker's stubourness.

 The clawed hand of Kain closed over the blade and he brought it to rest lightly across his legs, carressing the blood tempered steel in a tender way which none of his new 'army' would have recognized. A sad looked crossed the master vampired eyes. "Can you hear me, my general? Is your soul sentient inside of this blade? There are times that I take comfort in that possibility. You told me before the sword took you in, that you were and would always be at my side. My right hand. My sword. Do you know how cold a comfort this blade is in exchange for your presence?"

 He stood and walked to the large central window, looking out upon the destroyed pillars of balance. "The cost was too high my general. I find myself hard pressed to find the world worth your freedom."

 Kain shook such evil thoughs from his mind and moved to lock the door of the throne chamber. If his generals saw him speaking to his sword they would undoubtably rebel against him, taking him for a mad man. He would not blame them if they did. There were times since Raziel's sacrifice that he was himself, unsure of his sanity. "But of course the world is worth it. You obviously thought it was. You thought I was. Your faith in me runs so deep doesn't it. No matter how I strained your faith while I worked to preserve you, you always returned to me. Always."

 Taking a new kind of hope at his own realization, Kain sat again and smiled, "You always return." He closed his eyes and remembered back to the first time he'd met his general. To the Sarafan's last cleansing of Nosgoth.
_______________________

 There was ash on the ground in a perverted parody of the snow that had once claimed the winter months of Nosgoth. Kain slipped quietly through the Sarafan stronghold, moving toward the meeting chambers where the fate of Vorodor and of himself was to be decided. In the centuries since his turning, the youngest of the remaining vampire masters had learned well that knowledge was power and that the powerful lived much longer.

 Finding the room he sought, Kain slipped through the rafters, high enough above the warrior priests that they would not be able to sense him with their enchanted vestments. He watched as they took their seats and began debating how best to kill him. Kain was a bit proud at this. No other vampire had the priests meeting and ploting over their downfall so venomously.

 With a fang filled smile, Kain crept a little closer, and that was when he saw Him.

 "You are mad, brothers. Kain is not our enemy." A young, ebon haired knight stood and glarred around the table. "He destroyed the corrupt circle. He has taken up guardianship of the pillars."

 "He destroyed the pillars." Another knight argued.

 "Would you have been able to give your own life for a world that despised you? I wish I could say that I would but I understand well that it is not true. Kain is first and formost a survivor. He will be alive long after we are gone."

 The green skinned man dug his claws into the wooden beam he was reclining upon, and leaned down a bit further. That priest was delightful! He ran is eyes over pale skin, full lips, and bright and flashing green eyes partially hidden by ebony tresses which would not remain bound and so had the honor of being brushed from those eyes by large but delicate hands. Still, it was more than the perfect cheek bones and slim but hard muscled body which drew the vampire to creep closer. It was the words which he spoke with such conviction. Not damning him along with his brothers, but protesting the Sarafan's quest to destroy him.
 
 "Raziel, we have all heard this argument before from you, it is nothing new and our views on it still hold. If our lord heard you speak thus you would be called a traitor."
 
 "Better a traitor than a murderer. These vampires feed upon blood, but we feed upon flesh also."

 "A cow or chicken is not the same as a human."

 "We are not cows or chickens and so we say it is alright to eat them. He is not a human and so then, he has a right to eat and sustain his life as much as we do. We should be forming an alliance with the vampires. Not waging a pointless holy war."

 "Raziel!"

 The knights all tensed and turned to the doorway, and the newest Lord of the Sarafan. Kain crept back into the shadows with an innaudible hiss. "My Lord." Melchiah, obviously the highest ranking Sarafan, stood and bowed low. "I appologize, Raziel needs learn to hold his tongue."

 "Raziel may find himself without said tongue if he does not learn to curb it." The Lord frowned.

 "I mearly suggested that. . ."
 
 "Raziel!"

 Those green eyes narrowed, "I will not be a part of this hunting party. The vampires whom I have killed were mindless beasts intent only on feeding. Kain is different. He can be reasoned with. I will not murder."

 "Your warped view of the world may have been accepted as a novice Raziel, but among the Sarafan Priests, it is not welcome."

 "Then perhaps neither am I." He stood, "Good day to you brothers." With that the dark haired man left, and Kain lost all interest in the rest of the meeting. He slipped back the way he'd come and dropped soundlessly to the ground, trailing the man far enough back as to keep himself hidden from the glowing armor that all eldar preists were given. Soon they were far enough out of the stronghold and well on the road to the secluded home of the higher ranking Sarafan. This was when Kain chose to make himself known. Or rather, the branch he'd been perched upon decided to make him known when it's leaves rustled as he leapt to another. "Who's there?!" The young preist drew his sword and stared into the forest.

 Kain stepped from the shadows and smiled a wicked smile. The human had nearly vampiric senses.

 "Is this how I am to die?"

 "It may be so." Kain smirked, hiding his ellation at meeting this human closer up. "You are called Raziel."

 "It may be so." He frowned and stepped back a bit.

 "Why are you worried, you were singing my defense at your little meeting."

 "I am idealistic, not stupid. I know that I am your food, not your freind. I would have defended any intellegent, wild creature the same way, but I would not converse alone and unarmed with an intellegent tiger."

 How refreshingly novel this man's view of his kind was! Kain smiled a bit nicer and raised his hands in front of him. "I will not harm you. I claim you bretheren."

 "What?" The preist almost dropped his sword in shock.
 
 "I am one of the last of my kind, and I am tired of being alone. You do not see me as a mindless monster and therefore I claim you as bretheren and ask you to have the faith in me to trust I shall feed elsewhere. Under such an oath, would you converse with a tiger?"

 Raziel narrowed his eyes and studied the other man carefully before sheathing his sword. "It is not as if the sword would have helped me. I know you well enough to understand that if you wanted me dead, I would be dead."

 "Such flattery, but what have I done to deserve it?"

 "Existing is enough." The young human assured him. "My name is Raziel."

 "I know what your name is."

 "You thought you knew, now you know for certain."

 "You are an imputant human."

 "It has been said, yes."

 "You are a very strange Sarafan." Kain cocked his head a bit. "Are you insane?"

 "No."

 "Do you court death?"

 "No."

 "Do you wish for some. . . otherworldly adventure?"

 "Not particularly."

 "So then one must question, why do you champion a vampire to your brothers."

 "You seemed the kind of man I would like to know." He shrugged, "And not particularly blood thirsty. No so much as fueled on by a quest."

 "My quest ended when the pillars decayed."

 "Did it? Then why do you stay with them?"

 Kain stood, dumbstruck at the rational. Why was he still there? Was there something more to do? Some task waiting for him? "I do not know."

 "Maybe you should think about it." He reasoned and then walked away.

 "Where are you going?"

 "Home. To sleep for a bit before the others return to taunt me."

 "Why do you stay?"

 He smiled, eyes flashing, "I do not know either."
_______________________

 Kain held the soul reaver tightly and smiled over the memories of that day. It had been one of many to come. He had found an interesting and amusing friend in Raziel and they were often in one another's presence.

 That thought brought an end to his smile very quickly. "We have always been one in the presence of the other, have we not my general? And now, so shall we be for eternity. However now all I may look upon is cold steel, when once I could study your wonderfully animated face. I miss that face, and the voice that it carried. I do miss that."


<Part 2>

    //I exist in a form of limbo. A world between worlds, bound to the reaver and so to it's wielder. Although, I had been bound to Kain long before the Reaver took me in.// Raziel stood beside his master, ensconced somewhere between the spiritual and material plains. Kain could not see him, although he could see the spiritual realm, and Raziel could touch nothing material or other though he could see both. When Kain fought, he stood by his side, mimicking his motions with his own reaver and adding to the power of the blows. A ghost, but not quite. For what ghost could still feel such pain?

    Since he had become the reaver, his memories of before his turning and before his fall were all returning in bits and pieces. It was a devistating enlightenment. //How baddly I misjudged him, how deeply I must have hurt him in my haste to beleive the worst. I knew him before. I loved him even as a human. I love him even now.// Raziel stood and followed as Kain paced the room and dismissed his men with a growl and a harsh gesture. //And I am still hurting him.//

    "I would turn each of the fools who serve me to dust, if it would allow me one more moment." The elder vampire caressed the blade and Raziel felt the touch all the way to his bones.

    "I cannot believe that you cannot hear me. Cannot believe that all that is left of you is mindless power. If I believe that I will go mad, and Janos is still out there. I can not afford madness."

    //My fault. All of this is because of my weakness.//

    "Do not blame this on yourself. I know you too well. Wherever you are, know that you have done the right thing, even if it condemns us to this life together and still apart."

    //The creature said we would be buried together. His words proved prophetic after all.//

    "I can feel you with me at times. During battle and sleep. I know the sensation of your presance too well to miss it."

    //Kain.//

    "You will return to me. You always find your way back to me."

    //As I recall I usually had a little help from you. You never let go. I never wated you to.//

    "Ah Raziel. I will never let you go."

    //Good.//
_______________________

    It was a long and bloody battle. The remaining children of Vorador and the chldren of Kain had converged on the small hunting party that had been sent out into an area they had beleived to be clear. Raziel raised his blood tinged sword and waded into battle, to defend his brothers.

    The palid man fought as some people danced. Fluid and graceful, it was a macabre ballet done in blood and steel. The vampire killd by this man were killed quickly and mercifully, with little pain or hatred. They were killed for the fact that they killed. Not for the fact that they were vampires.

    Kain stood back, watching the battle with an odd sort of pride. The unexpected freindship between them was working out well. He didn't mind sacrificing the odd minion or fledgling in order to watch the dance. There was an abundance of the mindless creatures.

    A lucky strike caught the human across the shoulder and the vampire who'd done it was ash in an instant. Raziel blinked at the death that had not been his doing and looked up, scanning the forest line until his eyes rested on a familiar golden gaze. He smiled broadly and continued to fight, made bold by the knowlege that Kain would not let him die. Vorador's minions however, had no knowlege of this, and Raziel was slammed into the ground, pinned through by a vampire's blade.

    A terrible roar echoed over the battlefield at Raziel's fall, and suddenly the knights were pushed aside as vampire turned on vampire. The blood of Kain beating down those of the elder vampire's line. Kain himself crouched over Raziel's fallen form, protecting him from all around them.

    "Kain?"

    "That was careless little human."

    "I seem to be getting more so each day."

    Kain pulled him off of the ground and lifted him like a child, carrying him away from the fighting. "Can it be because you no longer fear death?"

    "It is possible." He smiled, and then winced as Kain proded around the wound.

    "Incredibly deep. But very clean." Kain bent down and liked the opening and exiting of the wound, savoring the sharp, pure tange of the priest's blood.

    "I'm starting to think you like me injurred. You always have a taste."

    "I am cleaning it."

    "Ah." Raziel smiled at him.

    "Cheeky human."

    "Old man."

    Kain smiled at that and cocked his head to the side. "Old am I?"

    "Ancient." Raziel smirked and tried to sit up. Wincing, he gave that idea up quickly.

    "Still hurt?"

    "You did notice that I had a sword shoved through me didn't you?"

    "Infant." He taunted playfully.

    "Geezer."

    "What is your obsession with my age?" Kain wondered outloud as he helped the knight stand.

    "No obsession."

    "Hmm."

    The made their way slowly back to the edge of the Sarafan land. Kain allowing Raziel his pride by letting him walk on his own, no matter how badly the vampire wanted to carry him and save him the pain.

    About half way there Raziel turned to kain, a question on his lips. "Kain?"

    "Yes?"

    "Have you ever thought of turning me?"

    "Often. Yes." He was truthful. "I would value a companion."

    "Ah."

    "Only ah?"

    "I was only curious." Raziel was quiet the rest of the journey, but Kain knew he had a lot on his mind. Kain himself was lost in thought.

    //I almost lost him. So close. Do I think about turning you Raziel? Oh yes. Every day I live. And every day I bow to your wishes to remain human, and hope that when you are killed, some how you will find me again.//
_______________________

    Kain had only told him of his unspoken prayors after he'd died and come back. He'd said he had been afraid to loud his judgment about the decision with human sympathy. Only Raziel would have noticed the heartfelt releif in Kain's eyes.

    //I found my way back from the dead. I can find my way back from this 'tween world.// He placed an immaterial hand upon the vampire lord's shoulder. "Wait for me Kain. Trust in me. I will find a way."

~tbc~



   
   

  

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