I can't remember what it was like to be without him. I can't seem to imagine my life, or even this world without him in it. When did this happen? When did he become the first person I see when I wake up and the last face I see as I fall asleep? When did I start searching him out in the crowd before anyone else?

 I sit outside his window, watching him do his homework. He doesn't realize how much this means to me. Just watching him like this has become a habit for me. I'm becoming too predictable. Every day I follow him to school, walk with him from school. Every evening I'm here outside his window, every night. Will I ever be in his arms?

 Kurama, what have you done to me? You slipped into my heart past all of the barriers I've erected around my soul. It's a weakness that I can not afford. But I accept it, because with this weakness, I get you. And you are more precious to me than my life. When did this happen?

 I feel his Ki, a soft, warming glow that wraps around me, keeps me safe. I have never felt safe before, never so relaxed as I do with him. What would happen if we were attacked? What if I wasn't ready?

 I slip inside his window. He doesn't turn around, but he knows I'm here. This is a game we play. My watching him as he works. Even before I knew I loved him, I would watch him. Always under the guise of something else, but now I realize, all I wanted was to be near him. How can I tell him?

 He was always the one who was there for me, to tend to my wounds, to carry me when I was too hurt or tired to walk on my own. He never thought of leaving me behind.
 
 I left him. I went to Mukuro, led her army. He let me leave even though it hurt him. Because he loves me? How could he ever love me?

 Youko Kurama, the most beautiful creature in the ningen and youkai worlds in love with Hiei the forbidden child, cold blooded killer and heartless beast. Is it possible?

 At  night I feel drawn to his window, wishing he would press his lips to mine, and tell me ‘ai shiteru', I can barely breath at the thought! I don't dare to breath because the dream might disappear. I don't want to wake up cold and hungry, a forbidden child, somewhere in the Makai looking for shelter and fighting for my life. But I have to breath, and when I do, he is still here. And I am still here, searching for words I never thought I would have need for. Gods let him love me. I know I don't deserve him but Gods let him love me.
 
 "Kurama."

 He turns around, "Hiei."

 Did I call his name out loud?! I didn't mean to say it out loud! "Hn, kitsune no baka." I say turning on his desk lamp, "You will hurt your eyes." baka, baka, Baka! He's a Youko, a little darkness wont hurt him!

 He smiles at me and I feel my heart stop beating for a moment, then it races on to make up for it's missed beat. Fast, too fast. "Arigato Hiei."

 "Hn."

 He's so close. If I leaned down I could touch his lips with mine. A kiss. Such a small word for such an earthshattering action. My whole inside seams to melt with the thought of his kisses.

 "Hiei." His voice is so soft, like music. And then our lips meet. I don't know who started the kiss but I don't want it to stop. I never want this to stop. I press closer to him, I need him nearer to me. When the kiss breaks I'm on his lap! How did I. . .?

 "Hiei."

 And then his lips again. I don't care how I got here, I'm here, that is all that matters. I straddle his legs, bury my hands in his hair and pull him closer. Our tongues meet and our bodies shiver together with perfect timing. He must know what the sound of my name on her tongue does to me. I wonder, does it work both ways?

 "Kurama."

 He shivers and holds me closer, it does! "Kurama." I bring my mouth to his, licking his lips then moving to kiss his eyes, his ears. I pull one delicate lobe into my mouth and run my tongue over it. He shivers, I shiver. His skin is as soft as the petals of the roses that he loves so much, and his scent, like a Youko but covered in the smell of damp soil and flowers. His own special scent, Ningen and Youko. Both combined, both mine.

 "Mine." I say it softly but it's threatening even so. This is mine, no one else can have him. This scent, this soft skin, these lips, all mine.
 

 "Yes, Hiei." He is panting and his heart is beating so fast, "Yours, only yours."

 I want more, but I am afraid. He holds so much of me already. I am afraid if I let him see any more of my feelings, if he goes away, it will kill me.

 "I understand Hiei." He says it so softly, and buries his head in my shoulder, "I will wait as long as you need me to."

 "Kitsune. . ."

 "Shh, just let me hold you."

 I could never say no to my fox. I let him hold me, I hold him. We sleep that way, holding each other. I fight off sleep as long as I can. This is to perfect, it has to be a dream. If I fall asleep here, I might wake up. Not yet, just let me hold him a little longer, I don't want to wake up yet. . .

 . . . I fell asleep, it's morning! But, he is still with me, beside me. He always will be. "Kurama." I love him! I really do love him! How could I let this happen?! I. . . I love. . . should I tell him? Can I tell him? N. . . no. Not yet. I'm not ready yet.

 "Hiei." He's dreaming, when he wakes up, I'll be gone. But I'll be back, and he will wait. He loves me that much. Hai, and I love him, even if I don't say it out loud, not yet.

 A tear falls down my cheek, a tear of joy. The first I've ever cried out of happiness. It falls to his futon, A perfect gem, not blood red like my tear gems are, but misty white and blue, a moonstone, a soul keeper. This tear is a little piece of my soul. I put it into his hand, and close his fist around it. He holds the rest of my soul, why not this piece too. One kiss before I go. One promise. I'll be back koibito. I love you.

          * ____________________@_______________________*

 Anja walked into her brothers room the next morning with two mugs of hot chocolate. She sat down on his futon and took in his confused face, mussed hair, the tear in his hand and the sappy smile on his face. "Oh it was ‘That' kind of night was it?" She asked setting the coco by the bed.

 A pillow caught her right in the face, but it couldn't muffle her laughter.

 Nothing could muffle Kurama's either, and outside on a shadowed branch, it was music to two Koorime ears.