OK, this songfic is set after Quatre loses it in the Zero, and before he finds Trowa again. Needless to say, it's his reaction to the event. You may need tissues...
Disclaimers: I don’t own Gundam Wing, I’m just a poor fanfiction fan with too much spare time. I do not own Sting, his music, etc. I'm making no money off his lyrics; so don't sue me, K? I just happen to think his songs are very spiritually fulfilling, and fit Quatre quite nicely. *^_^*
Precious Desert Rose
Kat
[I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hands]
Quatre woke with a start, panicked as the dream faded from his vision.
He glanced around, only to remember exactly where he was. He was
back at his desert estate, away from the war for just a while.
And he was alone.
Not that it was anything new to the young pilot. He'd been alone
many times before. But ever since that fateful day He could
rarely catch a full night's sleep now.
Realizing that there was no chance of getting back to sleep, he rose
and slipped on a light jacket. With no particular destination in
mind, he wandered the estate, trying to ignore the dream replaying over
and over in his mind.
[I dream of fire
Those dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
His shadow plays in the shape of a man's desire]
Looking around, he realized he had wandered into the music room.
A memory came unbidden, sharpening the throbbing pain in his heart.
He had had his first glimpse of the real Trowa Barton in this room; not
the mask the quiet pilot always hid behind.
Almost immediately, a more recent memory took the former's place.
The burning rage of the memory shook the small Arabian as he tried to push
the unwanted memory away.
**
"Quatre, we just have to accept it..."
"Trowa!"
**
The memory flashed in a brilliant fireball, then dissipated, revealing
the clear night sky. Quatre shivered, grief and regret threatening
to overtake him as he sat in the estate courtyard, battling to forget the
source of all his stress.
[This desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this]
Desperate for relief from the everlasting nightmare, the blonde pilot
went to his beloved rose garden. In the dim moonlight, he let their
sweet scent surround him. The rose was by far the most beautiful
of flowers, but also the most delicate. One thoughtless act could
destroy its precious beauty forever.
But even his rose garden brought forth the stinging memories.
[And as he turns
This way he moves, in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems]
**
Sitting in the garden, Trowa by his side, Quatre could not have felt
more alive. The two chatted about everything and nothing in particular.
They only needed the moment, to just enjoy the precious time together before
going back to the horrible war that separated them. They reached
a lull in conversation, neither able to continue the thought. Spying
his new friend's favorite flower nearby, Trowa gently picked a rose, and
handed it to his companion.
**
[I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hands]
**
The rose was in perfect bloom. Quatre blinked in surprise, and
accepted the love filled gift. Careful to avoid the thorns, the young
Arab smelled the rose's sweet perfume, smiling all the time at his newfound
friend. He was so caught up in the emerald eyes, that he forgot to
pay attention. The thorn pierced his finger, prompting a feint cry
of pain. A small drop of blood fell from the blonde's wound.
**
[I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes, this rare perfume
Is the sweet intoxication of his love]
**
Trowa noticed instantly, and gently took the rose away, laying it aside.
He took the smaller boys hand, and to Quatre's great surprise, gently kissed
his injured finger. As the Arab tried to understand the mixed feelings
that surged through him, Trowa turned his back on him, doing something
out of view.
He... Does he...? No, that's absurd. How could
he... love... me?
Trowa turned back around, interrupting the confused Arab's thoughts.
As Quatre looked on in hopeful doubt, Trowa took his hand yet again, and
place the rose in it once more. Afraid to meet the emerald gaze,
Quatre inspected the rose.
The thorns had been removed.
**
[I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hands]
**
Tears came, unbidden, as the inevitable conclusion dawned on him.
He does... love... me.
Trowa reached over, tilting the blonde head back up to see his reaction.
When he saw the tears, he flinched, suddenly doubtful.
"Trowa?" Quatre averted his gaze back to the ground.
"Yes?"
"I... I love you, too." He said in a nervous rush.
Daring a glance up, he saw first surprise, then relieved acceptance.
"I know." Trowa reached over, and gently pulled the Arab to him.
Shock flooded the Arab's senses as Trowa gently brushed his lips across
Quatre's cheeks, kissing away the smaller boy's tears. As he pulled
away, he found Quatre's eyes wide with uncertainty, but also filled with
careful acceptance. This time his lips found the blonde's, locking
in a passionate kiss...
**
[Sweet desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this]
Sobs shook the young pilot as the vivid images faded from his mind.
He had been so foolish Now his precious rose was gone, destroyed
by his own thoughtless touch. What he would give to have his koi
back, to undo the fateful mistake that had cost him so much more than the
colony...
Morning was nearing, and with it, the nightmare finally faded away. It was time to return to the war; time to return to life once more. But the void in his heart still tugged, a constant reminder of his loss. Surely there was a way to rid himself of the nightmare, to fill the void once more...
[Sweet desert rose
This memory of Eden haunts us all
This desert flower, this rare perfume
Is the sweet intoxication of the fall]
Climbing unwillingly into his Gundam, the pilot of Sandrock made a final decision. He would overcome this nightmare. He would cure the ache in his heart, no matter what it took. He took off, heading towards the darkness of outer space, his mind finally at a sort of ease.
He would find his koi, and set things right in the universe once and for all. No matter what the cost.