<Part 8>
 

 "Get inside." Angel ordered and Cordelia, Faith and Wesley all stared.

 "Spike! Oh My! Is Xander ok?! What are you doing here?"

 The blond vampire growled and stalked into the next room locking the door behind him.

 "Angel?"

 Angel glared at the locked door, "Come out of there!"

 No answer.

 "NOW!"

 Spike stepped out defiantly and crossed his arms, "You might as well let me go home because I'm going to make a royal pain of myself until you withdraw your Sire Right."

 Moving so quick no one could see him, Angel snatched Spike up and slammed him into the room, sliding the lock into place with a loud click.

 "What's. . .?"

 A ripping sound was followed by another crash and a scream, "NO!!!"

 They all jumped and tried to open the room but no one could break the lock. Spike screamed again and Cordelia covered her ears, "I don't want to hear this!"

 "Where Is he?!" The front door was kicked in and Xander stood the, towing Doyle behind him, "Where did that demon take him?!"

 Faith pointed to the door, disoriented by Xander's sudden, un-Xander-like, rage.

 Another hard kick and Xander was ripping Angel from Spike's naked body and slamming him to the ground, holding a cross to his chest and a stake to his heart. "Monster!"

 "Angel?" Cordelia stared at Spike's unconscious form then at the souled vampire beneath Xander. "What were you doing to him?!"

 "Cordy." Xander handed her the stake and lay her hand over the cross, "Watch him, if he moves, dust him."

 She nodded and looked warily at her boss, "I'm fired aren't I."

 He glared.

 Xander climbed onto the bed and wrapped the sheet around Spike, lifting him up close to his chest, "Spike, Spike it's me, come on love, wakey wakey."

 "Spike! Kill this bitch!"

 The motionless body jerked into movement, "Cordy girl, don't hold this against me, the pouf's got all the cards." He knocked Cordelia from Angel's chest and winced as the cross burned his arm and crying out as the chip kicked in and zapped his insides,

 "Spike!"

 "Xander please leave."

 "But he was going to. . ."

 "You think he never rapped me before?! His my bloody sire! He owns me. Get out of here before he makes me hurt you too. I don't want to hurt you!"

 "Spike. . ."

 "He can't do anything to me that he hasn't done before."

 Xander stabbed the stake into Angel's shoulder, letting the holy water that soaked it's wood burn him from the inside out then turned back to Spike. "You're *mine*."

 "I know pet. ‘S only so much the pouf can make me give him."

 "I'll get you back." The human boy kissed his vampire and turned back to Angel. Pushing the stake in deeper he wriggled it in the charred wound making the vampire grimace, but not scream. "You hurt him at all, you take what I have claim to, and I will hunt you down until one of us dies. I know a lot of demons who would gladly help me find the immortality to do it."

 "He isn't worth it." Angel growled, wincing again when Xander pulled the stake out and jabbed it into the other shoulder.

 "No, you aren't worth it. But he is. Your childe is more of a man than you'll ever be. I'll be back for him." Then he pulled the stake free and slid it into the loop of his belt.

 Faith started cheering, "Way ta go Xand! Yeah! WooHoo! Oh by the way, Angel? I quit."

 Spike watched Xander walk out the door, followed by Angel's entire staff. He kept his eyes cool and his poster strong, but his heart was leaving with the human. "Xander." He called out at the last minute.

 Xander turned around and smiled.

 "Take care nummy."

 "You too pet." Xander smiled, "I love you, remember that."

 "I'd never forget."

_______________

 Once outside Xander spun and slammed his fist into the building, putting it right through the glass doors. "SHIT!"

 Doyle slunk up beside him and looked at the bloody knuckles, "That wasn't smart Xany boy."

 When the boy turned around they caught their breath. Tears streamed in rivers down his cheeks. He clutched Doyle to him and cried and cried, all of the hurt and frustration and anger washing itself out of his system.

 "Come on." The Irishman nodded to the group, "Let's get him home."
__________________

 Spike lifted Angel from the floor and peeled the charred skin out of the holes in his shoulders so they could close up again. He reveled in the tiny bit of pain he could cause his sire. With Angel taken care of his stripped his own dead flesh away and sat in the corner waiting for the punishment to start. Angel never was one to coddle his childe.

 "SPIKE!"

 He made a small sound of reply.

 Angel sneared, "Come here."

 He could do nothing but obey.
____________________

 "Xander? Xander are you awake?"

 The boy groaned as light broke through the dark safety of sleep and opened his eyes to see Faith leaning over him. "Aaaaaaa!"

 "Hey! I'm a good guy now! Remember?!"

 "Spike. . ."

 "He's with Angel."

 Xander was on his feet instantly, "Wesley, you said you could teach me to be a warlock."

 "Yes. . ."

 "Do it."

 "Now?"

 "Now." He walked to a closet and pulled out some futons, spreading them on the floor, "You can all stay here until this is straitened out."

 "Xander, Angel is over 2 centuries old!"

 "He's got Spike." The human said it as if it held all the answers.

 "I. . ."

 Pulling on Spike's duster Xander turned to them, "I have to work. Stay here, rest. We start when I get back."

 When the doors shut they all looked at each other with one comment, "Uh oh."

<Part 9>
 
 

    //Hope nummy is ok.// Spike thought looking out te window of Angel investigations like a caged animal longing from freedom. //Don't do anything stupid Xan-pet, I'll find some way out of this.//

    He looked over at Angel, who was thankfully ignoring him again. His bum felt like it was on fire. It had never hurt that much before. //But I wasn't fighting him before.//

    The lining of his leather pants was seeped in blood and semen. The poof hadn't even let him wash after he'd . . . //I won't think about it now.//

    "I'm going out.." Angel stood and glarred at him, "If you aren't here when I get back I'll dust you and send your ashes to Harris in a tin can."

    "Right, no leaving, got it."

    Angel growled and left and Spike opened the window, laying his head on the sill. //Damn sire knows exactly what to threaten me with. Can't leave, can't stay.  Xan-pet. I want my nummy."

    A hand fell to his shoulder and Spike jumped and vamped out.

    "Woah! No bitting!"

    "Cordy?"

    "I came to tell you we're keeping an eye on Xand."

    "He have anything to tell me?"
 
    "Well I kind of. . . didn't tell him I was coming. You lived with him, you know he'd want to come along, and we can't risk Angel catching him."

    Spike nodded.

    "He's working hard at the magic thing. You'll be together again before you know it."

    "Won't happen luv."

    "What?"
 

    "I'll know."

    She smiled and nodded, "You know, you aren't so bad when you aren't trying to tear our heads off."

    Spike grinned and flashed his fangs at her.

    "Ok, leaving now."

    He chuckled as she hurried out of the room and went back to starring out the window. //I'm still the Big Bad.//
______________________

    Unlike school work, Xander memorized spells with almost no effort. He was like a spong, absorbing all he could and more. Wesley warned him to slow down but he pressed himself until he collapsed each night, exhausted.

    "Xander, I know you want to get Spike back quickly but this. . ."

    "Do it."

    "Only warlocks trained for years have the power to accept an enhancment Jewel."

    "I need the strength. I'll be fine. Do it."

    He looked pleadingly at Doyle.

    "If he wants it he'll find someone to do it even if you say no. Better to let someone who knows what he's doing handle it."

    "I still say. . ."

    "JUST DO IT!!"

    The watcher jumped and stared wide eyed at the boy who had once been so shy and insignificant.
"Where?"

    Xander pulled out his belly button stud. "Right here, the cuts already made."

    "But are you sure? Firecrystal is the most powerfull. . ."

    "I know."

    "This isn't a game Xander."

    All at once the watcher found himself swung painfully around and slammed into the wall, "A GAME?!?! You think I see this as a fucking GAME?! MY Vampire is being RAPED by his own father! Because of ME. He could kill him any day he wanted! Angel is fucking up his body and his mind and I think this is a GAME?! Put the crystal inside of me. NOW!!!"

    Doyle, Faith and Cordelia were frozen with fear, this wasn' tthe Xander they knew, this was the soldier and hyina and all of Xander's anger rolled into a very dangerous adversary and he was going to go up against Angel. At that moment, it seemed he would be able to do it too.

    Wesley pressed the long, sharp, needlish tail of the crystal deep into Xander's gut and began chanting as he forced to tiny puncture to open and accept the larger head.

    Xander grunted and clentched his teeth against the fire racing through him in a painfull flash of power. He gripped the chair's edges so tight it splintered and cut into his palms spilling blood onto the floor.

    The watched scooped up the blood and spread it over the small, visible part of the stone then traced patterns all over the boy's chest, arms and face, chanting all the while.

    As Wesley's voice grew more urgent and the volume increased, Xander screamed and his body jumped with pain but he kept sitting upright until the voice droned off. He stayed upright until Wesley asked, "Xander? Are you ok?" Then he fell in a limp heap to the ground and all of them rushed to his side.

    "He's alive." Doyle sighed.

    Faith shook her head, "He knew exactly how that would feel didn't he."

    "I told him each detail." Wesely nodded, "If he had been training longer it would have been almost pain free, but he wasn't securly a Warlock and the crystal was testing him."

    "He passed the test right?"

    The watcher ran his fingers over the flame colored stone that was now embedded inside the boy's navel, nodding as it shifted color like a burning fire might, "With flying colors."

    "Spike's lucky to have him." Cordelia smiled fondly, "He wasn't meant for me, but maybe Spike. . . Xander was always willing to do anything to keep his loved ones safe."

    "He'll sleep a full day after that, maybe we should go home for now." Wesley bit his lip thoughtfully, "I'll go tell his boss. . ."

    "No." Doyle stood, "Let me. I'll fill in for him since Zake's lost both Barkeepers tonight."

    Faith waved for them to go, "I'll stay with him. I owe him that much at least."

    Cordelia shivered, "I guess I get to go tell Spike what his human just did to himself."

_________________

    Spike glarred at Angel's sleeping form. //Damn Poof has no business looking innocent when he sleeps. Bloody wanker!//

    "Pst! Spike!" The whisper came from the window and Spike quickly opened it and looked at the ex May-queen in shock, "What are you doing on the bloody fire ladder?"

    "Reporting."

    "How is he?"
 
    "The idiot just got some fire crystal put in his belly."

    "WHAT?!" Spike roared and winced, turning to make sure the poof was still asleep. "He what?"

    She nodded, "He's pushing himself so hard to beat Angel. . . I'm worried for him. Wesely says most third years don't even try the spells Xander's on now."

    "Where is he now?"

    "Sleeping off the crystal experience. He'll sleep at least 24 hours now I guess."
 
     "That long?!"

    "That's what Wes says."

    "Bloody Hell it must 'ave hurt him!"

    She nodded, "He screamed so loud. . . Spike I don't know what to do. How do you get him to stop?"

    "Distract him."

    "How do you distract Xander Harris? He's ADHD. Hyper extreme! No way he'll slow down."

    "Some tasty nibbles and. . ."

    "OK! TMI! To Much Information there! Rephrase that, How am 'I' supposed to distract him?"

    "Never tried anything else, I go with what works. Tell him I love him ok?"

    "This is soooo twilight zone."

    Spike nodded, "Poofs gone off the deep end of a drained pool. Set your watch to match mine."

    "Huh?"
 
    "Sync our watches and then sync yours with Xan-pets. Tell him at midnight and noon every day and night I'll be sending him a kiss." Spike groaned and held him head in his hands, "That was the bloody sappiest thing I Ever said!"

    "It's sweet."

    "I don't do Sweet."

    "Except for Xander?"

    "'cept fer Xan-pet." He closed his eyes.

    "Spike?"

    "Keep him safe for me. Tell him Angel hasn't done anything since the kid staked him to the wall."

    "He hasn't?!"

    "Not to Xander's knowledge."

    She nodded saddly, "I'll tell him. Keep the faith Spike. Xander's going to get you out of this."

    "Never thought he'd have to play the hero."

    "For you, he'd do anything."

    "Feelin's mutual."

    He watched the woman shimmy down the ladder and then closed the window. //Don't do anything stupid Xan-pet.//

_________________

    "This is STUPID! Xander I know you want to alleviate Spike's suffering but that spell is permenant. A mind touch."

    "I KNOW what it is!"

    "Then why. . ."

    "I LOVE him Wes. L. O. V. E. completely. I don't care if he knows everything that's going on in my head, I WANT him to know me like that."

    "He's bound to have some very unpleasant memories though. Are you ready to face over a hundred years of slaughters and bloodlust?"

    "For Spike."

    "Xander. . ."

    "I'm doing the spell Wes."

    "But you both need to be thinking about each other! How will you. . ."

    "Cordelia said he's sending me a kiss noon and midnight every day, that qualifies as thinking about me doesn't it."

    "It's not. . ."

    Xander glarred his best 'Spike' glare.

    The watcher sighed, "I'll go get the ingrediants."

    "Wes?"

    "Hm?"

    "Thank you."

    He smiled and shook his head, "You're welcome." //I don't think Angel knows what he's got himself into.//
 

<Part 10>
 

    When Angel woke up he smelled Cordilia's scent by the window and went into a rage. His childe was a convenient punching back and Soon lay still on the floor. Angel glarred down at him and dropped a pouch of blood beside his torn up face. "Drink that and get off my carpet. I don't want your filth staining it."

    Unable to do anything but obey, Spike struggled into a sitting possition and nursed the cold and congieling blood from the hospital bag. "Poof."

    "What?!"

    "Who are you?"

    "You know who I am!" He growled.

    "Angelus?"

    "Do I act like Angelus."

    "He was nicer."

    "You little. . ."

    "You asked you bloody nancy!"

    Angel grabbed Spike's hair and yanked back hard, "You WILL respect me William! Or I'll make sure Xander finds your fresh remains."

    "Yer Insane!"

    "This from William the Bloody. That's rich. Go to sleep you worthless fuck. I'll want to play tomorrow night and you need to be healed to take it."

    "Fuck you!" Angel didn't answer and Spike croutched in the corner of the room growling deep back in his throat. Finally though, He had to close his eyes, and sleep came to him whether he wanted it or not.

    He drempt of Xander that day. Of the first night they had set aside their differences and become friends. Not so much a dream, since vampires don't have them. It was more like reviewing a memory in his sleep. Consiously bringing it up in his mind's eye.

***
    Xander had just come back from patrol. He'd been dumped by Anya and run into a group of people encluding his ex and previous ex with other men. On the way back from patrol he'd been scented out by Oz, who'd escaped his cage and ended up spending half the night in a tree with a werewolf howling beneath him. When they took Oz back, no one bothered to help Xander from the branches and he fell hard on his back. When he got home he didn't even greet Spike, who had broken into his basement apartment,  again, and went strait into the bathroom for a shower.

    The british vampire ignored him for a while but when the boy came from the shower pale and looking like his heart was breaking, . . . well even the Big Bad has a soft spot for a nummy treat in distress.

    "Xander? You ok?"

    The answer was given in a flat voice. "Yeah. Sure."

    "Nummy?"

    "I just had a bad night ok? I'm fine!"

    Spike hadn't observed humans for over a hundred years for nothing. He sat above Xanders head and lifted him into a hug.

    At first neither of them moved, then Xander tightened his grip, running his hands over Spike's smooth, strong back and sobbed.

    "'s ok pet."

    "N. . . no it's not. Anya left me for another guy, cordelia has a new boy toy, Oz chased me up a tree, my whole back is one big bruise,  it is NOT OK!"

    To his credit Spike kept quiet and just held on and finally Xander fell asleep in that hug. Only then did Spike close his own eyes.

    The next morning Xander had woken and stared at Spike a long time before whispering, "Thank you. . . I. . ."

    'Think nothing of it nummy." Spike grinned, "What're friends for?"

    "Are. . . are we friends?"

    Spike shrugged, "I'm game if you are."

    And Xander smiled, and Spike was lost.

***

    When he was awakened by a voice in his head asking him to accept a mindlink to Harris he half thought it was still the dream. Then Xander's thoughts, feelings, and voice were inside him and he knew his were in Xander's.

    //Spike? Did it work?//

    //Nummy what are you doing?! You're not strong enough for this spell! You can't be!//

    //I've been working hard. I . . . Spike! I miss you! I'll get you out of this I swear!//

    //Not your fault luv. I know you're trying but I don't want you getting hurt by anyone including yourself. Alright?//

    //I love you.//

    //And I love you. You're my nummy.// Spike grinned and sighed softly, settling down on his blanket in the corner. //You've got some tasty ideas in that head of yours Mr. Harris. Plan on trying those dreams when I'm home?// The vampire smiled, he could 'feel' Xander blushing. //Oh yeah, I like this link buisness!//

    //Me too.//

    Thinking back to their birthday shopping Spike repeated Xander's causious words, //It's permenant.//

    Xander sent him a mental kiss and sobbed, //so are we.//

    //Don't be sad luv. I'll be home in no time.//

    //I thought Angel was our friend! What happened? Did 'I' do something?//

    //No pet. Vampires just aren't meant to hold guilt over feading. It builds up and everybody has a breaking point. Peaches 'as been heading there a while now. We have souls see, just not guilt, if a vamp had guilt then 'e'd bloody well starve. It ain't natural. Bad stuff 'appens when you mess with nature.//

    //But it shouldn't happen to you! I'm almost strong enough. I'll counter the Sire right and kill him.//

    //Pet. . .//

    //No. Buffy should have done this a long time ago. You're right, it isn't natural and he's in pain. Death will be welcome.//

    //And 'tween now and then. . .//

    //Till I see you again.//

    //I love you Xan-pet. You know that right?//

    //I can feel it Spike. Our minds are shared now, I see your love and everything else.//

    //Pouf's waking up, Xan, sheild the link 'k? I don't want you to feel this with me.//

    //But. . .//

    //If you don't you can't concentrate on the spells you need to learn.//

    //That isn't fair Spike.//

    //I know, but I'm bad, so I do that.//

    //Yeah, real bad.//

    //I am!//

    //Kiss?//

    Spike sent a mental carress then a soft kiss and smiled, //Goodnight pet.//

    //'night.//
______________________

    Xander burried his face in his pillow and screamed, "I HATE him! Angel is going down when the sun rises!"

    "Xander do you think you're ready?" Faith asked softly. She had a lot to make up for with the human Scooby.

    "Yeah. I'm definitly ready. Do me a favor and call Westly and the rest of them, tell 'em we're going hunting."

<Part 11>
 
 

    The LA Scoobies watched as Xander slipped into his leather pants and a black 'bitch' shirt. He almost slamed his feet into his Docs and began preparring himself. Sunrise was only an hour away and Xander had waited a month. That was all he was going to wait. Spike was coming home.

    He opened the walk in closet and Wesley peeked in. The others ran over as his eyes threatened to bug out. The whole closet was packed with weapons and leather. ". . . Xan. . .?"

    He ignored them and pulled down a duster containing several hidden places filled with knives and stakes. A water gun of holy watter was tucked into his belt and Xander handed a spray bottle to Faith. "Spray me down."

    "Huh? Xander. . ."

    "It's holy water. Do it."

    The hard look in his eyes must have convinced her because next they knew they were walking into the dusky streets of the City of Angels; to watch Xander dance with the devil.
______________________

    Spike snarrled as Angel backed him into the corner of the living room.

    "Child if you fight it will only hurt more."

    "Screw you! Fucking wanker! Nancy boy poof!"

    The elder master snatched his childe up by the throat. "You are getting irritating." He reached behind him and pulled out a railroad Spike. "Ironic, isn't it Wil. The weapon you earned your name with will take it from you."

    "You think you scare me?"

    "No. I think you're too stupid to be afraid."

    "Go to Hell!"

    "Already been there. I'll have to thank your 'boyfriend' for that later."

    That made Spike fight the other demon's grip. "Don't you TOUCH HIM!"

    "You aren't in any position to make threats."

    The Brit writhed and tore at his sire, kicking and twisting like an animal.

    "Poor puppy. Let's put you out of  your misery."

    "NO!!!"

    Spike's yell was echoed by another voice as Xander kicked the door in and bear hugged Angel from behind, burning him with the holy water he was covered in.

    "Xander!"

    The brown eyed boy tucked and rolled as Angel threw him in the wall and jumped back to his feet. "That wasn't very origional." He mocked, "I learned how to deflect walls years ago."

    "Donutboy come to save his neutered house pet?"

    The human's eyes narrowed, "If Spike 'was' neutered he'd still have one up on YOU."

    Angel dodged the knife that was thrown and snarled, "You aren't fast enough to stake me. Do you think I'm a fledgling?" He ripped into Xander's arm and the boy spun to get away lossing a chunk of his skin and his duster in the process.

    "Ouch! Hope you got more outta that than me." He sent a blast of holy water at the master until he walk in front of Spike. //Shit! He knows I wont risk the holy water now.// "Here vampy vampy." He tossed the water gun away and Angel chuckled, "You are more stupid than I thought."

    "Yup, that's me." Xander grinned innocently and dropped as Angel flew at him.

    Angel crashed into the bookshelf and hissed as it fell on him. But a moment later he was up again. Ripping at the human's flesh and trying to bite.

    "Bad Puppy!" Xander winced and kicked out with a spell. When Angel doubled over he ran but tripped over his discarded duster. "Shit!"

    A vamped out face rose to find him and grinned when it found it's prey kicking out of hius coat's hold and backing up. "Stupid boy."

    "Yeah, um. . . you know Angel, I always liked you." He blinked as the vampire got closer, "I mean you're a real likable guy in a Don't-Fuck-Me-I'll-Go-Psycho kinda way. . ."

    The vampire looked smug and stepped over the discarded coat, backing Xander into the wall, no where to run. He snatched him up by the collar and snorted when he went dead weight. "Don't tell me you feinted! Some training!" He blinked and sniffed the body. "Heart attack?"

    Spike listened frantically for a heart beat but Xander's heart had stopped. "NO!" He grasped frantically for their link but Xander had blocked him out for the fight, he could tell what was happening. "NO!!!"

    "What is this? Where is the fight you've trained for? How DARE you die before I killed you?! Angel tossed the boy's limp body into the wall again, "So this is where all your training ends. How anti-climatic."

    Without warning the boy dissapeared. A voice behind Angel came just before a stake soaked in holy water went through the master's shoulder. "Yep."

    "WHAT?!"

    Xander spun him around and mumbled a spell, lifting the vampire into the air where he helplessly dangled.

    "Where did you come from!? You were dead!!!"

    Xander grinned, "You thought I'd be that stupid? I'm a mage now. Powers. No need to fight you straight on the whole time." Xander's face was covered in his own blood and his clothing was shredded from Angel's attack before, but his collar was untouched.

    //He used a mind clone! How can he. . . he isn't that strong! He hasn't had the time!//

     "Now just be a good boy and stay up there a second.

    Angel struggled and screamed as Xanders chant began.

    "Offering up a vampires fright; to the alters of the night; I call upon the first master's site; backed by darkness strengthened by light; I envoke a spell though power slight; Take away this Sire's rite! "

    A soft glow formed bright amber around the boy and grew darker as the crystal in his flesh fed it. When it was bright as daylight Xander opened his eyes and threw out his hands grabbing Angel's head between them.

    "No! Stop!" The master dropped to the wooden floor boards but couldn't move. His eyes were locked on the glowing crystal.

    "Angelous, with the powers of fire, of darkness, of light. . ."

    "STOP!!!!"

    "with soul and demon and mage's might. . ."

    He thrashed and fought but the boy held firm.

    "With love and hate and vengance true. . ."

    "LET ME GO!!!"

    "Now to HELL I banish you."

    Angel screamed and then the light imploded upon itself, pulling him with it, back into the Darkness he'd been born from.

    Everyone in the room stared at the human/mage and Xander looked up with a weary smile, "That's twice now."

    Faith blinked, "Huh?"

    "Twice . . . I've sent him to. . ." Xander's body swayed and his eyes rolled back into his head as he crumbled to the floor.

    "Xander!" Spike rushed to him and lifted the boy carefully. "Watcher. Help him!"

    Wesley nodded, "we need hot water, a needle and thread. He'll bleed to death soon."

    Cordelia produced the needle and thread and Doyle brough the water. Spike watched in morbid facination as the young watcher stitched his Xander's arm where Angel had caught him. The scar would be bad, but the possition right under his tatoo, would make it look almost planned. Spike didn't care either way. Xander was his no matter what happened.

    "Well?!"

    "He's still bleeding and he'll need a transfusion. . ."

    Spike was in the car strapping Xander in beside him before the man could finish. Next they knew they were all waiting in the hospital. Spike was growling, crying, and pacing. Anything to keep him from pounding in to terrify the doctors. Cordelia was crying on Doyle's shoulder and Faith was standing by the window with her watcher.

    Five hours later, Spike ran to the door and a nurse walked in. "Mr Bloody?"

    "Where is he?!"

    The nurse's face was pitying as she lowered her eyes, "I'm sorry. . ."
 
 

    Spike's whole world shrank until it was only those two words. 'I'm sorry'. //No. No! NO! My nummy is NOT gone! He can't be! He can't be!// He shook his head and covered his ears as he slid to the floor, "No. NO!!! He isn't dead! He ISN'T!!!"

    "Spike. . ."

    As quickly as the pain caught him, he reined it in and sprang to his feet, "Where is he?"

    "Spike. Please. Let it go."

    "WHERE'S MY NUMMY!!!" He vamped out and the nurse stood in rapt horror, staring at his game face.

    "I. . . room 314. . . sir."

    As soon as the number was finished he was gone. //Xander.// He starred at the boy in the sterile hospital bed and felt numbly for their connection. The emptiness he found was as painful as holy water over his heart. "Wake up." He demanded.

    The others walked in quietly behind the vampire and tried to hide their own sorrow. Spike had faced a lot more than any of them had through this except perhaps Xander himself.

    Spike grabbed the boy's shirt collars and pulled him up off of the pillows. "Wake UP! DAMN IT! XANDER! Get up!"

    Doyal put a calming hand on Spike's shoulder.

    Big blue eyes turned to stare at him in such blank and helpless innocents that the irishman almost didn't recognize him. "Why won't he wake up?"

    "Spike. . ."

    Wesley saw the potential for trouble and stepped to Spike's other side. "He can't wake up. He's . . ."

    "But. . . No! He's fine! My Nummy always has trouble waking up. Xander. Wake up and tell them you're ok."

    "Come on Spike, let us. . ."

    Spike vamped out and clung to Xander's body tightly with a snarled warning, "STAY AWAY!"

    "He can't answer you Spike."

    Spike shivered and sucked his lip into his mouth saddly, tears falling over his cheeks.

    "Spike. . ."

    He hugged the cooling man close and kissed his lips softly. "I. . . I love you nummy.  Come back to me now, you've had your fun."

    "Come on." Doyle moved to lead the blond vampire out.

    "STAY THE FUCK AWAY!!!"

    "Spike!"

    "If you hadn't brought the pouf back into our lives Xander would still be alive! All of you keep Your fuckin' 'ands away from me!"

       "He 'Is' alive!"

    The Vampire froze, "Say that again."

    Cordelia took a calming breath, "Xander is alive. He's totally out of it, but he's alive. Snap out of it, You have the whole 'super vamp' senses right? Listen."

    Spike nodded and tried to calm down enough. . . "It's beating. His heart. . ."

    "That's what we've been trying to tell you! You ran out of there so fast the doctor couldn't finish. He's in a coma. Right now it could go either way but for now at least he's alive. So stop shaking him."

    Spike almost laughed, "Guess I made a right nonce of m'self."

    "You love him. It's ok to be worried about him. Hystarics are expected."

    "I don't do hystarical."

    They stared pointily at him.

    "Fine." He glarred, "I don't CARE if I'm hysterical ok?! That human there is all I care about in the world!"

    "We understand that Spike, but healing take's time."

    "This is my fault. Peaches was mad at Xander because of ME.  Xan fought him for me. If he doesn't wake up. . ."

    "Have faith." Doyle smiled, "He won't be leaving you that easily."

    Spike nodded and Wesley quietly moved everyone from the room, allowing the master vampire to be alone with his love.

    "Xan. I said I'd protect you. Guess I lied again. Why didn't you just let me die? I'm not worth it. Fuck, I don't even want to live if you die. So you better wake up now ok?" He curled up at Xander's feet and watched him silently. "Wake up."
 
 
    Xander looked around for moment. He could hear Spike but  he couldn't see him. Everything around him was black and cold. The word 'coma' came to him but no. This wasn't a coma. Not anymore. It had been, for hours, maybe a whole day, it had been a coma but now. . . He could feel a weight on his legs. Something holding him down to the bed. When he tried to speak, his voice was harsh and painfull. "Sp. . ." He begian to cough and suddenly an arm was helping him sit up straight and a cool cup was placed at his lips.

    "You ok pet? You know where you are?"

    "Yeah,  I'm ok Spike." He blinked and shut his eyes tight. "The light hurts my eyes."
 
    "Oh! Shit! Shoulda thought of that!"

    "Spike It's ok."

    "No it's not fucking OK! Because o' me you almost died! Died! Permanently."

    "I'm ok though, and it wasn't your fault. 'I' chose to fight him. I could have asked for help but I didn't. If anything it was my fault."

    "No! Never! Don't SAY that!"

    "Well then let's make a deal ok? It was no ones fault."

    "Sounds good pet."

    "Spike?"
 
    "Yeah?"

    "You're crushing my hand."

    "Oh."

    "Spike?"

    "Yeah?"

    "Could you let go now, it's turning purple."

    The vampire quickly droped  his love's hand and closed his eyes. "That was too close Xander. I. . . if you had died. . ."

    "But I didn't, so no 'if's ok?" He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

    "Pet? You ok?"

    "'m tired."

    "Sleep then! I'll stay right here. Promise."

    "Sleep with me." He offered and scooted over.

    "Aren't you sore? An' all those IVs an' such. . ."

    Xander shook his head slowly, "I'm sore yeah, but I need you. I feel so empty, alone, I need you to hold me ok? Show me this is real and we're both alive."

    Spike nodded solomnly, "'k pet. A'right."

    "I love you Spike."

    The vampire ran his finger's over Xander's face softly, "I don't deserve you nummy, but I love you too. Sleep now. We're both safe. Now that you're awake, we'll be goin' 'ome soon."

    "I'm already home."

    Spike closed his own eyes and tightened the embrace.
 
 
 
 

~tbc~