naklog2

Scene: Nakago and Soi talking in the garden of the Imperial Palace. Soi discovers just how much work she has cut out for her and Nakago finds that Soi has the ability to actually phase him.

Characters: Soi and Nakago

Date of Log: Feb 28, 2001

Late afternoon, and the skies above are gray and ashen with the last breath of winter, struggling to stave off the kiss of spring in the winds that wind through the courtyards of the imperial palace. Snow is threatened, though so far no powdery flakes have yet to fall from the skies above. From out of the open corridor that leads toward the Seishi quarters comes a tall figure. Unmistakably Nakago, and he does not look pleased. Then again... when -does- he? Perhaps a better way to describe it is that he frowns today, not maintaining the usual neutrality he prefers to wear on his expression. A guard stops him and the two briefly converse, the Hin waving him off eventually with the graceful sweep of a dismissing hand. He doesn't walk away then, looking out toward the dormant gardens, resting his hands on the rail that encloses the corridor. No longer frowning, now he appears merely thoughtful.

For change, Soi doesn't wear the normal skimpy dress of her seishi costume. Rather, she is wearing a simple, flowing dress of whit which brushes at the ground of every step as she nears the exit of the elaborate gardens. Over her dress, she wears her black cloack as means of warmth while out on her walk through the gardens. In her arms, a small bouqet of various wildflowers rests, colorful in pale purples and blues which are significant in their own way to add to the wintry mood hanging over the palace. Not only are they neutral colors, but they are the colors representing the gentleness of the coming spring. This time of year was her favorite when living back at home with her family. She loved picking the flowers and riding the horses in the area. It's the only thing that relieves her mind of her seishily duties that plague her left and right. Her hair left to flow in the breeze freely, her expression is as light as the wind which plays with the strands of her hair. Even though the color of the sky is dismal, she is relaxed and happy. Somethind can't often enjoy anymore.

It is good that Soi is plucking blossoms now, for it if snows, then old man winter will get one last chance to destroy Mother Nature's attempts to liven up the world a little early with the flowers that bloom earliest. Nakago might even enjoy seeing that, how it imitates the lives of humans, the winterty kiss of fate destroying the most fragile of creations before it truly has time to bloom. Straightening, the seishi cants his head slightly, sensing the chi of someone he is familiar with. Not that he is surprised that Soi is in the gardens. It dawns on him that he hasn't actually spoken to her in some time, too busy with schemes and the Emperor's seemingly unending demands either for thwarted attentions or to order the Shogun to see to this here resistance or put down that rebellion.
Changing his course, Nakago strides down into the gardens, using the sense of chi to round the row of budding and blooming snowflower bushes and stand there a moment, quietly taking note of her change in attire. "Soi," he says quietly to get her attention. Seeing the flowers she has gathered, he resists the urge to grab one of the fragile blossoms and crush it between his fingers. There is no purpose in upsetting her.

That's right. What sense would there be in upsetting his bedmate? She hasn't done anything to deserve that, has she? Well, if she'd seen the frown on his face, she might believe he's angry with something she or one of the other faction's seishi did. But because she didn't, the look on Soi's face doesn't change as her storm-hued gaze turn to Nakago, her lips forming a gently smile as she looks upon him. "Nakago," she says in return, her footsteps shifting direction to move her more towards him. The color of the sky truly makes her eyes strange, the way they're able to almost exactly match such a depressive color. It pays to work with the weather as one of your powers, doesn't it? She shifts the pastel colored flowers to one arm so that she can push back some bangs behind her ear and smile a little more. "Spring's nearly here." Spring means a trip home, possibly, to do what she loves: ride those wild horses. She's missed riding the untrained beasts who had become her friends. It'd be nice to visit her village again, make sure it hasn't been annihilated yet by the Emperor's stupidity and ill-decision. Ugh... how she despises the man. Who would want to be part of that guy's harem? She feels sorry for the women in his harem, who are so desperate as they are to keep alive by sucking up to the ugly man. Well, she went to an equally terrible place, but.. enough of that. The sei will just admire how Nakago's hair shifts about in the wind and wait silently for any sort of reply to her attempt at a civil conversation. We all know how much of a people-person Nakago is...

People person? If it means manipulating or intimidating people, oh sure he's all for that. But... civil conversation? Lips twitch slightly, though they do form a ghost of a smile at Soi's attempts to speak to him with such normalacy. Still trying to touch a heart gone cold as the winter skies, Soi? "So it is," he replies, though he sounds about as interested in the subject as he is at the dust beneath his boots. Some things just never change, do they. "Will you be leaving for a time, soon, then?" He's a creature of habit insofar as he knows what everyone else's habits are. As much as he may be loathe to admit it, there is something soothing about this place, an oasis in the midst of the imperial desert. It's enough to lull him into a better mood, letting go of earlier troubles to reach toward the flowers cradled in Soi's arms, just to pluck one from the bundle and inspect it with a strange, alien sort of curiousity. Azure eyes eventually look back to Soi's face, wondering what he will see there this time.

Slowly, her surprise creeps into her eyes, widening them a bit. She'd never realized how close an eye Nakago kept on his fellow seishi until now. After a short time, Soi's surprise fades into a happiness that is rarely seen in her, something that she prays will bring peace to her trembling heart as she stands in the presence of the Shogun. She continues to smile, though more now, as she thinks of what to do when she escapes her duties temporarily. "Hai," she quips in a light, gentle tone. "I'll be returning to my home village when Spring arrives for a just a short while. You seem to know that, already, though." Her eyes drop to Nakago's hand as he steals away one of the flowers from her carefully picky bouquet. As he looks up to her face, he finds her gazing at him, watching him look so oddly at the flower, before she says, "If you want it, then it's for you." HIs eyes will only find loving happiness, most likely something he'd rather not gaze upon, but that is all he'll find. Probably the only thing about Soi is the purity of her love for him, something she's dedicated her life to. Even though he may loathe he, she made a secret and silent promise that first night she spent with him. She'll make him return to his caring, gentle self, even if he wants to remain the cold hearted bastard he has turned into as a means of protecting himself. One day, she prays, she'll crack through that shell and bring him out of it so that he can be how he once was. She could kill the emporer for his wrongdoing against Nakago. But she'd die before completing her promise if she did that. She'll let the Shogun handle his ruler as he wishes. It's his fight, but that still won't keep Soi from hating the emporer for it. Arg, he has a lot of nerve, and if he even touched her village... he'll be a pile of dust before the end of the first day of spring.

Loathe is a rather strong word for how Nakago feels about Soi. Indifference is probably better, though it's hard to say if she'd feel comforted by that fact. Long ago, he learned that to feel nothing was far better than to allow emotions to lead one into pain and domination. He much prefers to use emotions against others than allow himself to be used. Then again, he has no idea how his dreams betrayed him that first night with her, nor how much of his past she's aware of thanks to Tomo. Listening to Soi, the Hin twirls the stem of the flower between thumb and forefinger, not breathing in the gentle scent of the blossom or paying much attention to it at all now. If he truly wanted the flower from her, he knows he could not only have taken it but the entire bouquet, so her offerance of it maintains the faint smile across his lips.
As idly as if he were not even aware of the action, he plucks the stem away, leaving only perhaps an inch of it at the end of the flower, then reaches toward Soi's ear to leave the pale blossom lodged there in her burgandy colored hair. He speaks in his usual, disinterested tone as he does this, "Then you will find your village untouched by that riot two weeks prior." It's interesting how he makes such gestures, which are usually considered intimate, cold and almost mechanical.

Indifference and loathing are both the same to Soi. Both are unemotional traits of Nakago, ones that she wishes to banish from his heart some day. Emotions aren't always a downfall and aren't always seen as a weakness. Look at the Suzaku. If they didn't care for their miko so much, she wouldn't be alive to day. Damn them. Damn all their emotions that they so easily express with no problems, no unreturned feelings between one another. Only harmony. Feh. Those happy-go-luckys don't know what it's like to be a Seiryuu. If they did, then they would've let the Seiryuu have their way out of pity. Which means the Suzaku's death, because then Nakago would be as manipulative as ever and tell Yui to wish them destroyed, gone, to rid him of his opponents. Soi would feel sick to her stomach if she knew just how harmonizing the birded twits really are. She watches Nakago as he pulls most of the stem from the flower he had taken, almost jumping as though feeling its pain. However, as he places it in her hair, she is thrown into confusion again. She had expected him to mutilate the flower, demonstrating how Seiryuu, the emporer, and Kutou have destroyed his once beautiful life. She watches him, the color of her eyes swirling with emotions, both of confusion and happiness, at his warm actions, no matter how disinterested he seems as he performs such an intimate act. But she has to wonder if he'd really do that if he didn't feel at least /something/ for her? Probably not. She'd be treated like any of the other seishi, possibly worse because she's a simple woman. Well, she'll never know until their relations are completely broken off, which she plans never to let happen. "Riot?" she asks, eyebrows raising curiously. "How close was it to my village?" Her voice is quiet, laced with worry and seriousness.

Emotions leave one open to pain, to being twisted. Nakago, being a master of puppets, is well aware of this. Seiryuu's Seishi are chosen for their tragic lives, unfortunately. For only one who has seen terrible tragedies and experienced rifts of war and strife will please and satify the Dragon God. The Suzaku have it easy with their cozy god of love. It is one of many many reasons why the Shogun wishes to see them scattered and crushed, though ultimately he wants to make the Heaven's weep for the existance granted to him.
Soi's flinch is either inconsequential or unnoticed, for Nakago places the flower there as if she had not so much as moved an inch. "Hai, it occured on the road to your village. It was quelled without spreading. There is no need to worry over it." And he explains no more than that, ever reluctant to say too much too soon. Or maybe he just likes making people wait and wonder. His feelings for Soi aren't something he has largely explored, and so he maintains his indifference as it's all he really knows how to show, unless he's attempting to get his way. He can be a very manipulative bastard then and mimic any emotion he chooses. But, Soi has probably seen this on a number of occasions already. However, it's well known that Nakago tends to let Soi and Tomo get away with a lot of things the rest of the Seishi cannot.

Isn't it because those tragedies have taught the Seiryuu valuable lessons which the Suzaku will never learn? Such as ruthlessness, quick and easy recovery, or a thinking process that is matched by no other? The Suzaku merely no love, a burdensome thing to most, though Soi can't talk of it being burdensome. Rather, it's probably her strongest quality. To be able to love someone so much to give their love for that person and still be able to properly perform their higher duties is a feat unto its own. Look at how Miaka and Tamahome couldn't perform anything but kisses, hugs, and screams. They are worthless when seperated. But their love is much to mushy and open, easy to attack and defeat. Soi's, however, is secretive, and not so easy to attack, though any harm that comes to Nakago makes her a most ruthless opponent. She can't forgive anyone if they hurt him, and killing him is out of the question. "That's good to know," she says softly with a faint smile in return for his. To receive a smile from him is a blessing in itself, she thinks. Especially when it's not malicious. Her eyes turn to the side, admiring the pale flower he has put in her hair. "Do you think it looks pretty?" Soi suddenly asks, eyes reverting to his azure ones questioningly. If there's any emotion to his response, she refuses to miss it, because only his eyes can show anything he feels. Those eyes are so much like the seiran pearls that adorns his ears. Cold, yet they hold so much meaning. She doesn't expect any sort of normal response from him, maybe even a 'no'. His opinion is important to her, and even if he doesn't like the flower in her hair, too bad. It's something she'll keep in her hair until the close of the day. Above them, the sky's darkened clouds let loose random, tiny powderpuffs of snow to fall to the ground, too full to keep them in. But, it goes unnoticed. Nakago's eyes are much more beautiful.

Strength and power are all that matter to Nakago now, so yes, Seiryuu has chosen his Seishi based on their ability to bounce back and survive against the odds. Love, however, he will maintain as a weakness, for if someone opens themselves up to love another, they open themselves up to eventual betrayls and pain. He loved his mother very much, and he killed her. Taria did not die by his hand, but she might as well have. Soi has had her trials and tribulations also, and the Shogun is aware of them and if he feels anything for her other than the indifference he displays to the majority of the Seishi, he's not very good at letting on about it. And then she has to go and ask him that...
A pale eyebrow lifts at the question, Nakago finding it interesting that she should ask that... of him. Of all people. "Flowers are like children, Soi. Delicate, and ever prone to fade." Vagueness, for sure, but at least he's not trying to be openly callous and cruel. Who knows what he's getting at, though Soi is certain to have her own conclusions to what that comment means. The look in his eyes is heavily masked, neutrality pressing his lips into a thin line again. The beginning of snowfall goes unnoticed by him, too, though his eyes flicker away from Soi's face to see the flakes begin to fall against her hair. He's never said she wasn't beautiful, merely that he felt nothing for her.

He's never said she's beautiful either! *sniffle* If only Soi knew exactly what he felt of love. Loving his mother is much different from loving another. Even loving a friend is different, all depending on how close that friend is. But he's never tried true love, has he? Not in the least. He's afraid, that's the bottom line. He's afraid to open himself up to that pain, to let himself go for the sake of a single tender moment with someone close. He truly doesn't trust anyone. Does he even trust himself? This redhead's eyes widen faintly, the meaning of that answer purposely left for her to interpret by herself. She knows she risked something big by asking such a simple question of opinion. He's never given an uncomplicated answer, just many riddles that are interpretted in so many different ways. He's an impossible-seeming puzzle that she's devoted herself to in figuring out completely. True, she knows more of his past than even she would have liked to find out, courtesy of Tomo. That bastard. He can't leave the most powerful seishi alone, can he? Tomo's such a juvenile when he uses his powers. "Are you referring to yourself?" she asks cautiously, shifting her eyes away from him to the sky above. In many ways, her lover resembles the sky. He's much too unpredictable, and he is an element all his own. Lucky him. If she had such an intuitively influenced life, she'd use it to her advantage as well. But to miss out on so many things because of a simple fear is ridiculous. She pulls the bouque closer to her chest, attempting to protect it from the cold flakes of snow. Winter's last attempt at destruction of everything beautiful created by Mother Nature... Funny how that can be applied to Nakago as well.

If Nakago knew Soi thought he was afraid, there'd be trouble, just as he'd be angered to find out she knows of his past as a hated Hin and toy to the Emperor (not that that's so much of a secret, really). Fear is a response he's long forgotten too, tucked away with the rest of his emotions into the black hole left in the wake of him ripping, figuratively, his heart out. There is only one person he can rely on without a doubt, himself. Which is why he goes to such lengths to see his schemes to fruition. But, that's a tale for another time. The Hin straightens, chin lifting slightly as he regards Soi with a regal sort of thoughtfulness. No, she didn't appear to catch him off guard, but little does. He just doesn't react in a surprised or shocked manner all that often. "What does it matter, Soi, if a flower in your hair is pretty? Tomorrow it will be dead. The same with the flowers in your grasp. Even if you hold them in water, they are going to die. Everything dies." His voice has turned suddenly cold, far more frosty than usual. He does not answer the next question posed to him, for he does not think of himself as a delicate flower. Aruyu Gi died a long time ago, and this is Nakago standing in his stede.

And if Nakago thought Soi would ever betray him in any way with the information she has about him, then he's crazy. She knows more about him than Nakago wants known about himself. Tomo and herself are the only ones who hold such blackmail, besides Nakago himself. And to know that he thinks he can only rely on himself would piss her off like nothing else. She's gone to great lengths herself to attempt to make herself favored by Nakago. She has yet to do anything that will jeopordize any plans he has in store for Kutou. Tomo is the only one who would use such blackmail against Nakago, because he's a twisted bastard who is so sick in the head he doesn't know how else to make himself worthy of the Shogun's attention. Except, of course, by showing off his power. Yet, in the end, he's nothing without his illusions of greatness. And they call her a whore? Her eyes lock on Nakago, an eyebrow dipping as though in anger. Maybe he finally hit a nerve to her nearly endless reserves of tolerance for this single man. "You can't seriously look forward to just everything dying, Nakago," she says in faint disbelief. "If you did, then why do you hang around here, playing the great seishi the emperor has trained you to be?" She pauses, gathering again her thoughts. "I'd like to have a straightforward opinion, that doesn't include riddles and depressing outlooks for the future. That's all I ask." Unlike Nakago, she has no problem with flipping out on someone. This is where Tomo's supposed to come in, so she can yell and insult him without fear of being dead within the instant her words are done. They have fun bickering, because they respect each other as rivals. Nakago much more difficult to persuade into showing emotion, but she knows she's going to lose favor if she says anymore. She doesn't want to reveal what she knows. "However, I know you won't give me at least. So, I'll leave you to whatever business you have out here." She gives a small bow, before turning away to walk from him. She knows he most likely won't walk after her, but she also knows that she doesn't want to just leave him there. Moments alone to just talk are few and precious, but she just can't believe the odds she's up against to bring him back to the man who once could feel love. How frustrating!

Betrayl is one thing, but just the sheer fact that someone knows of Aruyu would bother the shogun. However, Soi's brief outburst does draw forth one unconcious reaction. Kokoro appears on his forehead, ever so briefly, and is dismissed again just as suddenly. "Soi, if you wish for straight forward answers, then you should know better than to ask me." Azure eyes glitter darkly, like malevolent stars in the velvet shroud of night. As for his question of why he's here, that goes unanswered. He has his plans and goals, and Soi is not privvy to them... well, no one is. He doesn't even respond as she flippantly mentions that the Emperor trained him to be what he is. Actually, that's what makes kokoro, heart's lodging, suddenly appear. It is rare to see Nakago actually taken aback by something, but that right there did it, and it only returns him to his dark mood.
When she turns to leave, Nakago does not follow or call her back, merely turning, robes billowing around him with a soft swish of cloth before he begins to stride away in the opposite direction, the lights from inside the palace glittering off the scale mail of his armor and the golden color of his hair.