Who:  Irvine Kinneas and Farrell Tennan.
Where:  Balamb Garden Student Dorm area, and just Outside.
Why: Farrell's threatened to leave, and gotten upset with Irvine and Selphie.  So, here's the cowboy's attempt to mend fences.
Date of log: July 18, 2000.



Having just exited his dorm room, Irvine's glancing over his shoulder to make sure the door shuts behind him with its normal 'whoosh' of air. He turns again, adjusts the hat, and starts down the hall.

Farrell steps out of his own dorm as well.. what a coincidence. Or was it? Either way, the two of them are more than likely to run into each other as Farrell's dorm is farther down the hallway than Irvine's.. and that would mean that he'd be noticed first. With his back to his 'friend,' Farrell also heads down the hall.

Glancing up at the sound of someone else's door closing, Irvine does indeed look up, wondering if it's Selphie. Her dorm's down that direction too. No... it's Farrell. The gunman doesn't increase his pace, perhaps considering if he really wants to catch up to his fri-- former friend. Finally, "Hey, Farrell..."
Farrell stops, glancing halfway over his shoulder.. not really making eye contact with Irvine. "Yes?" he replies, as if it were just someone else walking up to him and saying hello. It's quite the charade he's putting on, wouldn't you say? Acting as if his friends are his enemies and his enemies are his friends.

Now Irvine quickens his pace a little till he's just slightly behind and to the right of Farrell. He doesn't avert his gaze, looking at Farrell searchingly, trying to decide if he really *meant* it when he said they were no longer friends. Ok... so like, here he is... um, now what? Totally speechless, the gunman's not really sure what to say exactly, so he ends up standing there dumbly.

Farrell swallows, holding back all signs of emotion. This was an encounter he hoped that he'd be able to avoid before his meeting with Squall.. the time when he'd be dismissed from Garden. "You have no idea what it's like.. do you?" he says quietly, almost sounding as if it's not even him. "You have no idea what it's like.. being alone. No friends.. no ties with the outside world.. nobody to call family... Do you?" His words are cold and cryptic.

Not being a mind reader, Irvine blinks at Farrell. Actually, he *does* have some idea, being an orphan, growing up wondering who he is, not even having a real last name beyond the name his distant foster parents gave him. He might relate this, if he knew what Farrell was thinking, but instead he just asks quietly, "Why don't you tell me then."

Farrell turns, looking at Irvine's eyes. He swallows again as a lump starts to form in his throat. This is not easy for him. It's all a matter of willpower now. "It's lonely.." he begins, maintaining the same tone of voice. "You wake up in the morning with nothing to look forward to. Nobody knows you, so you get no greeting. You walk around seeing hundreds of faces staring at you.. no one knows who you are, or what you're doing here.. so they just stare. Once in a while you get a 'hello' from someone, but it doesn't mean anything. A few minutes will pass and they won't even remember seeing you. You could consider ending your own life but nobody would mourn you.. it'd be without honor. It's Hell. It's.. my life."

Ok, now that's something Irvine has a hard time relating to. He always made friends naturally, his charismatic, boyish charm at least making him a hit with the girls. He's never really been without someone to talk to, cause if he's lonely he'd just *find* someone to go talk to. So, it seems kinda silly to him to be lonely. The answer seems simple, go meet people. However... not everyone is him, and he does know that. Reaching up to tug at the ponytail lightly, he starts to get the gist of what Farrell's saying... and he has kinda been neglective lately with Selphie being around him so much, taking up his time. Frowning, he says, "I'm sorry, Farrell, guess I haven't been around much lately, have I."
      
Farrell looks away again.. "It's not just you.. it's me. There's something wrong with me, and I can't figure out what it is. That's why I locked myself away for so long." His hands move around in front of him as he speaks, emphasizing certain points. "Once I came back out I figured that everything would be okay. But it isn't.. I've lost all of my friendships and alienated myself from everyone else... again." He sighs, thinking for a brief moment. "You know what I think my problem is?" he asks, looking to Irvine again. "I try to blame you.. the way you were back when we were 13.. going off and doing so much stuff without me. You were the only person that I could truly relate to in that Garden... and I guess you never knew that. But I'd just sit there and watch.. it kinda grew on me, you know?" By now he's rambling.. best get something in before he gets going again.

"Whoa... hold on there," the cowboy drawls, reaching out to rest a hand on Farrell's shoulder without really thinking about it. Regardless of what's been said, he still considers Farrell a friend. "You died... that's gonna cause some problems, especially after returning... in these circumstances." He's got some perspective now, after evading that strange white light that kept calling him the other night after getting riddled with bullet holes. The only reason he didn't go into it was his promise to Selphie, otherwise the gunman wouldn't be standing here. He pauses, sighing, considering his words, how to make them really sound out what he feels. "I know it's hard to understand how we could move on after that... most of the others we studied with are SeeD now, or already left Garden." Some are even dead, but hey, he doesn't mention that. "We're not kids anymore though... " though he sure feels like one right about now, especially after Selphie's birthday. "... so what do I need to do to help you get past this? I don't know how to relate to you anymore, Farrell, I'm not twelve anymore."
Long distance to Edge: Irvine woos. Cool.

Farrell takes a few staggered breaths... come on, fight it.. fight the urge. His expression shifts from one of indifference into a pleading gaze that he sets on Irvine. "I'd like to talk for a while.. We haven't really talked in a long time. I think it would help both of us decide what to do.." he shakes his head. "I don't want to leave..."

"Then don't," seems simple enough to Irvine. Here it comes, out with the egotistical, insensitive prick fascade, and in with the serious and sedate side of him. "Come on, where you wanna go to talk?" Assuming someplace no one else's gonna be listening in is desirable. Probably somewhere Selphie wouldn't think to find him too.
      
Farrell shakes his head, almost giving up on trying to figure things out. "I don't know.." he says, looking to the floor again. "Somewhere else.." he finally answers. Not like it's going to be much help. He didn't even sleep the whole time he was in his dorm, so that doesn't make things any easier.

Irvine tugs at the ponytail again, considering where to go. "Um..." No, not the Quad, Selphie'd find him there. "Er..." No, Cafeteria's got too many people in it. "Well, heck." Library has a strict 'no talking' rule. The training rooms... not a good idea. "We could always go outside I guess. The mountains are a good view."

Farrell nods, grinning slightly. "Sounds like a plan to me.." he tries to joke a little, which was also something he'd decided to stop doing alltogether. It seems that his brand of humor manages to get people to hate him more than anything else. One of those moments of truth managed to hit him hard again over the past few hours.

Irvine shoves his hands into the pockets of his duster, starting off down the hall again, glancing over his shoulder expectantly at Farrell to follow, or walk beside him, or whatever.

Farrell walks beside and slightly behind Irvine, lost in his thoughts again. He's there.. sorta. Just don't expect him to snap out of it any time soon. Every once in a while he'll look up to make sure he's not going to run into anyone.

Taking a deep breath, Irvine regards the frosty mountaintops with a sense of growing serenity. It's cool out here, so he's glad for the coat, it does come in handy. Turning, he asks, "This good enough for you?"

The cold never seems to bother Farrell.. as he very rarely dresses in anything heavier than his normal attire.. looking around, he draws a nice breath and looks to his 'friend' again. "Yeah.. I guess so."

It's fairly empty all around, most students sticking to the Garden out of familiarity. Good for a private conversation. "So... what should we talk about?" Irvine asks, uncertain how to begin this.

Farrell sighs... he doesn't really know either. "Well... I guess the best way to start is.. How about you tell me what you think I should do to." That wasn't very clear, he understands, so he clarifies it a little. "I mean.. what should I change to make myself better? You know, like try and be something more than an obnoxious bastard like I always am.."

Blinking, Irvine gives Farrell a perplexed look. Change? Why bother, "Uh... changing yourself isn't the best idea. Gotta be true to you, you know? Maybe... well, maybe try talking to people before you lose your cool? I mean, I had no clue what was going on with you, I'm not the best mind reader either. Otherwise, I like your cutting humor, keeps me on my toes." He tries to smile then, that old cocky grin of his.

Farrell doesn't agree.. and it shows. He sneers, adjusting his stance as he points out that "But it's the way that I am that makes people get mad at me.. then I'm forced to isolate myself after I go on a rampage. I don't know what's wrong with me lately, either.. but it's really starting to tear me apart. All I want is to be able to have and keep friends.." He's avoiding talking about his problems with Selphie for a very logical reason, especially considering who he's talking to. She's the main reason that he's gotten all funky.

Irvine has thought of that himself, wondering if all this trouble with Selphie has stemmed from some weird form of jealousy. The gunman spends the majority of his time with her lately. But, he hesitates to bring it up too, figuring it far too hot a topic. "Well... maybe stop to consider how the other person feels maybe? Try to think of a positive reason for why things are how they are?" He's grasping at straws here.

Farrell thinks about all this, biting at his bottom lip a couple time as he stares off into the horizon. Nodding, he says, "Alright..." He can do that, he supposes. "You know, I do feel terrible for what I had said to you guys.. I'm really sorry about all that." It's as good a time as any to get that off his chest.

"No grudges on my part," Irvine replies, staring at the ground, his boots are suddenly kinda interesting. He never holds grudges, unless you're Kefka or something. He can't answer for Selphie, of course, but he's hopeful she'll be forgiving without giving Farrell a hard time.

Yeah.. right.. like that'd happen. She's way too self-centered sometimes. And besides, she's the last person that he wants to apologize to since any attack from her may throw him over the edge again. Anyway, Farrell nods, accepting that for what it's worth. And it's truly worth a lot to him to know that Irvine isn't completely against him. "I don't know how I'm gonna redeem myself with the others..."

Irvine will have to talk to her... for all the good that'll do. Though he's head over heels in love with Selphie, she bowls him over as if he were that last pin at the end of the lane. He just can't quite see it, love is truly blind. "Others? Who else is mad at you?"

Farrell almost snaps at him, but controls himself.. he feels a lot better already, too so it's a little easier to avoid confrontations such as those. "Well, there's Selphie, for one.. and Dragonclaw, I think he's a little mad at me." Not that he truly cares what the lizard thinks, but he's been able to get along with him, at least.

Irvine knew about Selphie, who's already been distracted from the whole incident by him, *cough* He doesn't pick up on Farrell's near snap, nodding slightly at the mention of Dragonclaw. "Claw doesn't seem the type to hold grudges, I think if you just apologized to him, he'd be cool." The gunman *likes* Claw too.

"Well, I dunno.." Farrell says, crouching down. "I hope I can get everything back to normal... you and Selphie are the only friends that I have." Yes, he just called Irvine his friend. Looking up, he says, "You.. Irvine Kinneas.. are, and will always be my friend. Remember that." It was said in all seriousness, too. One may think that he was merely mocking his statement from the night prior, but he wasn't.

The cowboy smiles, it's not cocky this time either, but genuine. Hey, he can smile normally, gettaloada that. "Well, Farrell, I never stopped thinking of you as a friend, not even five years ago." Meaning 'after you died', without quite saying it. Friends are everything to Irvine, the Ultimecia incident taught him that.

Farrell closes his eyes after looking ahead of him again from his position close to the ground. "Thank you.." he says. That's all he needed to hear from Irvine. "Thank you for forgiving me." Well, at least there's closure to that. The others.. well, that's a different story.

Irvine makes a snerting sound, not quite a snort, but derisive at least, "Nothing to forgive, Farrell, let's just forget it, eh?" Pulling one hand out of his pocket, he jabs at Farrell's shoulder in that 'guy bonding' kinda gesture. "Besides, someone's gotta remind me what a pompous ass I am at times."

Farrell snickers, "Yeah, I guess that's true.." All joking aside, he says, "Let's forget it, then..." Of course, it's not that easy. It's going to be present in Farrell's mind until he feels that everything has been resolved. When that will be is beyond him, and the player, but.. just hope for the best

Irvine has no problem forgetting things like that, as said, he doesn't hold grudges unless you *really* hurt one of his friends (or his girlfriend), not just lose your temper with em. "So, I take it you're staying then?"

Farrell opens his eyes again.. "Yeah, I guess." Standing back up, he looks to Irvine with playful eyes. "But that depends on whether or not I'm welcome." Hmm.. someone needs to smack this kid.

Irvine smirks at Farrell, aiming fingers at him as if he were aiming a gun. *bang* "I'll just shoot you outta your misery if you keep that up. Of course you are." Patting the back of his shoulder, he starts back toward Garden. "Come on, let's go."

Farrell grins half-heartedly, following Irvine after all's said and done. Great.. now he has to go face everyone again. Why couldn't he just run and hide like the coward he is? Probably because it's not right. These thought torment him for a moment, at least until he smacks himself upside the head a couple times.