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And then there were three. A complete family as far as the official Indian family planning system is concerned. The shadow of a little girl with two pigtails peeped from between the shadow of her two undoubtedly adoring parents in an inverted yellow triangle widely recognized and acknowledged as a symbol of a small and happy family in India.
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I knew that she was in love just by the way her face would light up every time she laid her eyes on him. �Tauba Uncle�, the little shriek would waken even the neighbor�s three houses away. It was probably a sign of the times. All day long the innumerable TV channels would preview songs of upcoming films and there were Shah Rukh Khan and Rani Mukherjee in every alternate frame romancing each other in the glorious setting of Mykanos islands in Greece to the melodious tunes of Jatin Lalit. Of course her adoration was not restricted to just seeing him on the idiot box. There he was on hoardings endorsing several different brands, there he was in the newspapers with a small write up that she could never read but held in front of her eyes for several minutes in complete concentration. When I�d ask her what was written, she�d say only �ABC�.
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Of course her father didn�t approve of her first love. �He overacts, he�s too old for you and he has kids your age�, my husband screamed out in exasperation one day as he switched the TV off. �Tauba dekhegi� she screamed back in an even louder voice, indicating all too clearly that that we were destined to forever be puppets in the hands of our two year old.
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Till just a few years ago, the Indian government had perpetuated the all too popular �Hum do humarey do�, trying to restrict the Indian family size to a small foursome. But somewhere along the way I guess they realized that even a couple having two kids each was way too many for a country whose population had hit the one billion mark. At least in a democracy such as ours, this was merely a suggestion being put forth by our government and not as such a mandate or a restriction as imposed by our communist neighbor where having a second child actually leads to penalties, difficulties in admission and several other problems that ensure that couples restrict themselves to that one child each.
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I can say for certain that my husband did not care for this new image of a happy family that was trying to be conveyed to us.
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�A single child is a lonely child. Its also a spoiled child�, he told me seriously one day. �What happens when we grow old and die? You�ll leave her here all alone to fend for herself�, he continued, indicating that he probably expected her to remain two until the time we died. �Siblings are very important. They take care of each other�.
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�Maybe she�ll find her real love (once she�d forgotten tauba uncle of course) and she won�t be alone at all�, I tried to reason.
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�No way. We should have a boy this time�. He was certain that that was the only way we would be �complete��.
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I toyed with it for many days. I was a career woman already going through a tough time managing family and work and the house. And she was still just two. Another child would certainly mean I couldn�t go back to work. A shouting, running naughty three year old on one side and a crying bellowing three month old on the other side. I could just picture myself pulling out my hair and wishing God had given me an extra set of hands.
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Teen saal se pehley doosra nahi, doosrey ke baad teesra nahi. Well I was never really the target audience for this slogan, I thought, remembering how India�s first homegrown channel Doordarshan was used to spread the message. My father has six siblings and my mother has three. Those were the days when contraceptives were neither used nor approved. And in rural areas, women just seemed to have children every alternate year. Maybe it was because the children could help out in their father�s farms, or maybe it was lack of education. Today�s parents knew that they could provide better for their children if they had fewer of them.
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Today my husband and I already have what we call a �Harvard fund� for the two year old who cannot yet recite the alphabet but sings clearly and correctly �tauba tumharey yeh ishaarey�.�.
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�Look the seat next to her is empty�, my husband pointed out one day, as I leaned to pat my little angel who sat silently strapped into her car seat behind me, while we drove her to the park in the evening.
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I remembered all that my elder brother and I had shared. He�d threaten the guys in my class if they tried to bully me. He�d find me the all too important extra pen just before the exam. He�d hold my hand and help me cross the street. He�d help me out with my tough Maths sums that mom said were beyond her and he�d always hand out money lavishly every rakhi, even those rakhi�s that he�d been away from me. I thought of him now � settled in Canada, thousands of miles away and our relationship reduced to a phone call once a week and meeting during holidays once a year. And I knew that it just didn�t matter. Blood is thicker than water.
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�What if we have a girl instead?�, I asked, wondering if my husband would feel left out in a family with three other females.
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�Then there�s only one thing to do�, he replied sternly.
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�What?� I asked.
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�Make sure she never sets her eyes on Tauba uncle.�
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