Laloo Yadav's car is driving along a back country road on the way
back to Patna , when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of
the car...
The piglet dies on the spot. Laloo, upset, tells the chauffeur
togofind the owner of the piglet so that he can pay thedamages...
The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he
has a bag full of money, and a wondering look on his face.Laloo wants
to know what happened. The driver tells him "Hum jab gaanv me pahuncha to
dekha kuchh log ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki kya hua
hai,tab sare log jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee
hogee.Par hum dekha ki sare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki ye
sara piasa wo janvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logo ne saara
paisa hamein de diya."
Laloo says "Sasoor ka natee, Theek theek batao. Tum unko kya
bola tha?"The driver replies "Hum kaha ki hum Laloo Yadav ka
driver hoon aur hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon"
***************************************************************
Laloo becomes PM and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif.
They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes.
Then
Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to
giveup all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The world is
stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50
years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab
Akai TV - waalon ka kamaal hai," says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge
tho fridge free milega, video khareedein to cellphone free milega... tho ham
bhi Nawazbhai se keh diye: "Aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath
mein Bihar free milega, bas!"
***************************************************************
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport.As there was
huge
rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE"
for which Laloo
replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
***************************************************************
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference
between
Bihar and Las Vegas..So he called up the Tourist
department
and asked them
"Ji..could you tell me the time difference between
Patna
and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second
sir..." and
Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the
phone down.
****************************************************************
Laloos family planning policy.."DONT HAVE MORE THAN
TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"
****************************************************************
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells
the
bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU,
SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
****************************************************************
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo
decides to go
modelling.Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and
resting his
elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the
photo. Next
day the photo appears front page of a
newspaper.GUESS THE
CAPTION !! "Laloo, third from left!"
*************************************************************
Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese
Delegation
for Business Development to Bihar.
The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with
Bihar
and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give
us three
years and we will turn it into an economic
superpower like
Japan."
Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very
inepicient," he stated. "Give me three days and I
will turn
Japan into the next Bihar!"
***************************************************************
Raabri was worried whether or not Laloo upon his death made it to heaven,
so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance.
Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, Laloo's voice was heard answering,
"Hello Raabri, this is meeee..."
"Lalooji," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife.
What's it like there?"
"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Laloo answered.
"The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected and above all there is no scam. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."
"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his Raabri cried.
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Punjab."
***************************************************************
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working
on for
quite sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the
finished puzzle to a
friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT,"
Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend
exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL". Laloo replies. "SEE THIS NOTE, IT
READS -"FOR
? 4-7YRS".