Welcome to Europe

The European Commission has just announced an agreement

whereby English will be the official language of the EU

rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government

conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement

and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan, that would be known

as "EuroEnglish". In the first year "s" will replace the

soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump

with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the

"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have

one letter less.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,

when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f".

This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan

be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated

changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,

which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,

al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the

languag is disgraceful, and they should go away.

y the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing "th" with "z", and "w" with "v". During ze fifz

year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining

"ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer

kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find

it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!