girls



			Meet the Girls!!!

		Right, so the main people I hang out with are the Girls . . . And they consist of a threesome, not literally, known to the public as Cat, Ria and Lisa. Here, you will witness the humiliation . . . just said that out loud didn't I - OOPS! . . . of the three of them as I pull out all the stops to conjure up the truth behind the names . . . Mwahahaha

		First, let's start with Ria . . . A redhead with attitude, and an obsessive love for Tomb Raider and Balamory . . . Women!!! Well, seeing as she's the main person who takes the mickey out of me for being the baby of the group, let's pull out all the stops and show the world what really comes out of her mouth . . . mwahahaha . . . All writing highlighted yellow is spoken by Ria . . . 1. It's a gangster-eat-gangster world 2. I don't have a life, I have a website 3. I'm not freezing, bring on the cold (At which point she waves he arms around clockwise several times . . . No, I don't know why either) 4. In a previous life I was a butterfly and before that I was a caterpillar, and somewhere in between I was a cocoon. 5. I'm in front of you. No, wait, I'm behind you. Co-ordination never was my forte. 6. If I had a really ugly baby, would you laugh at it? Yes, I'd follow it around and point at it 7. Where there is a Johnny, there is a way, admittedly a very smelly way littered with all pieces of rubbish no-one would pick up, but there is a way. 8. Phil this, Phil that, Phil these - jesters to her boobs while commenting on a crush There are a few details you should know about Ria before making any judgements . . . For a start she has a bad taste in men, believes herself to be Miss Natla and the Supreme Ruler of Atlantis. She has an obsession with Tomb Raider and Balamory, and believes she is married to Larson from the TR computer game . . . And people wonder why I'm a little mad . . . hehehehe

Now onto the blonde bimbo that is Catherine . . . She's not as stupid as you look . . . This wild child likes polar bears, Howard Brown - representative of Halifax, the black guy who does the adverts, and teacakes. Thankfully there's only one of her . . . Being blonde means that it is her duty to say stupid things, and here's the proof . . . Writing highlighted green is spoken by Cat. 1. I was hoping to have this morning off this afternoon 2. Miffy the mouse is a rabbit 3. Are you free this weekend? Yes, but I'm working 4. Eating out is a pleasure in Abingdon (English essay advertising Abingdon - don't worry I don't get it either) 5. You're doing it wrong I don't care, if we did everything the way we were supposed to, life would be so perfect, you wouldn't believe it. (Once again she provides . . . something - better than nothing)

	And now for Lisa. She's the oldest of us all and yet, doesn't act her age. Honestly?! As Catherine described her, "Lisa is the only celibate nymphomaniac I know". She's obsessed with sex, sex, sex, and . . . sex. Oh, and we can't forget that infamous moonshine aka, alcohol. Lisa looks like she's part Greek but she isn't . . . she just has a very good tan . . . damn that woman . . . Anyway, her what come out of her potty of a mouth. All words highlighted blue are said by Lisa. 1. Oh, crap, I forgot to put my knickers on 2. Do you have any friends who aren't English? Well, Diana's from Yorkshire 3. He ooks like Leslie Phillips ( Lisa bursts into hysterical laughter) Do you know who Leslie Phillips is? ( between laughter she says) No! 4. It's the circle of poo Where? 5. Did I say that? Did you? 6. Knock, Knock Who's there? An interrupting cow (Lisa giggles uncontrollably)

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